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Bad, Cookies, and Dad: Godzilla Tag Yourself That Ain't Falco Didn't forget what you did -Best in track -Is there Grumpy Cat Butterfly I say your justice qoes too far! -Sometimes smol Good dad r you but Badderfly justice doesn't go you mock in -drives environmentally -Good Babysitter -Is on your side Einstein -Wants everyone to be friends middle school too far enough! friendly car Can count how many -Wasn't invited -Screams moth friend wants to be helpful are about fensive on one hand. -Kinda Selish -Needs to slow down Boba Fett Didn't do much Kanga-Rex Palpatine Kamacurry -Mob mentality -Always blends in -Tries st kicks uly Talks big game Itsy Bitsy -loved by all -Great at extreme sports Doeshtgive a hood Moral Support -Awesome -Kinda overrated -Only one who sees the big picture -Stunt double ary aks big Cam Might not even be real Has the laugh that gets everyone going -Secretly a toad pams twitch chat school -Makes a egg casserole Literal grime Savage even when not trying -Used to be a big deal -Don't disturb -Got big plans SPAAACE Monty Mole r but doesn't rare Is just here to raise the roof. Mecha Ghidio u but smarter -Sophisticated horoscope reader -Probably had too much coffee-Just wants to rule the world -Back by unpopular demand Little Shop of Horrors -Who are you? I'm you but less privileged -Has taken up a new leaf handlla s but thinks he could -Knows there isn't a spoon. All according to plan -Won't leave his couch fort a trench coat a pokemon Sill is hut can't kiss Is probably only good because it benefits him -ls in a bad mood and fixing to take it out on you -ls so done all the timeA Frieza Switches to vour main after beating you in smash bros -Looks up to Jason Voorhees s hetter than Knows it Lovebirds -Brings a tactical warhead on first date -cocky teens Lil Green -Awkward phase Diggersby -smoler -picks on things more e True Armadillo Facts Red Lobster Mis Ghidio the downtrodder -Good with electronics Hates spicy foods -Good guard dog -Came to attack people and is having a good time l -pure -Didn't ask for this small than him -Didn't deserve any of this -Except for that one time -Surprisingly Reliable T peo -Notorious party crasher -Easy Target ple's hero -Won't die -has regrets -Came for f T -esteem F-Type Master Splinter Titanic Tuna Is with the wrong crowd nut learned ett tt in Megatron - Has no clue what you? I'm vou Robot Chicken of JUSTICE but shinier he's doing ececut bimself in -Lonely piggyback rides -Communicates -Doesn't know why he's here but is happy to help is head -Goodenforcer Hator mat woodshop Edgemeister anybody's way mbs ups Has the best pokerface-Will conquer the worldSneaks by auoting fortune cookies List of skills include bi best breaking things sily influenced Has 50 different Will wreck you in karaoke -Is there for you -Never not smiling -Good cop in to ways to kill you -big bro friend his tunes Fullmetal Kirby Flygon Grouchy Kitty -Who are you? not you, Who are you? I'm you but aping-Who are you? I'm a bug Who are you? The terminator have promising future Still voung at heart" -I don't have that. I need it.-Listens to Three Days Grace on full blast Still does? The queen imlot of crap for Insecure -Intentionally has dog poop your lawn Came to ruin everything Now brute forces everything -It's mine now eating habits -Identity crisis -Most expressive -ls a black belt Mayhe redeemable -Just wants to go on a family picnic .Drinks tears -killed a man plays a golden fiddle -beloved scum andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

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Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case ef Fire De lot Use Elevator Use Stairs there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was n college, there was a particular class took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning "Look who's late" face, and walks on inside What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like Fuck it and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d" when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT! Gotta love college
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Climbing, College, and Fire: in Case et Fire Elevator Use Stairs there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Wel, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here) He looks up from walking and he sees her He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning Look who's late" face, and walks on inside What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like Fuck it and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT! Impressive
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Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case et Fire Do lot Use Elevafor Use Stairs there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning Look who's late" face, and walks on inside What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like Fuck it" and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. He did a double take, started to say "How the held when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT!" “AND THEN THEY ALL CLAPPED”
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Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case of Fire Do tet Use Elevator Use Stairs haedia: thewolfofnibu: stahscre4m: there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random slike this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random s in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class i took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning "Look who's late" face, and walks on inside. What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it" and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d-when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT! I've saved this before, but this time it has a picture!
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Birthday, Dad, and Driving: dokudoki pistachiosoda Follow liamdunburs ids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said "i like that name. did you know i'm in love with you" letthemountainsmoveyou i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23 roonilwazlip once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing "more school" university] and she asked "why haven't you found anyone to marry then" eyeslikeacat We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says "wait you're a STUDENT??" meelothemanly I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, "That's not true, you're my age cractasticdispatches our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated i'm all teached now. i don't need to be teached anymore. i'm done of being teached. diamondelight92 once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, "Does that mean you don't have to bring an adult with you to the pool?" anxietee-n My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said "does that mean she is married now? standard-fiend I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neice's argument was that they were in fact, also a dress because they were blue loveyoutothem00n I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, "ooh I know! A pickle! You'd be such a good pickle aimmyarrowshigh On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, "Are you okay? You look like you have a question." And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously "Can a piranha eat a stapler?" manic-kin One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked "Do you have a boy?" I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said "Well you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!" dinovia-countryman I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brother's alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it. So I picked it up and asked her what it was "Octopus," she said, all curls and smiles And what kind of animal is an octopus?" I asked. I was looking for "fish" or "sea creature but I would have accepted almost anything-weird," "gross, even "slimy." "Underwater" or "it lives in the ocean" would have also been acceptable She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, "It's a cephalopod. I haven't been the same since Source: dianatprince 769,704 notes Kids have no concept of anything

Kids have no concept of anything

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America, Anaconda, and Beijing: questionablefindings everything-is-connected penroseparticle My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it's old and America is spooky because it's big meduseld The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way." -Earle Hitchner burntcopper A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because 'someone died in this house and all the europeans would go ...Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old My school is older than your entire town. Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip? American looks up at the beams in a country pub* Uh, this place has woodworm, isn't that a bit unsafe?' 'Eh, the woodworm's 400 years old, it's holding those beams together bedlamsbard A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Amer- icans and Canadians, and my year it was all Ameri- cans and one Australian. We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can't remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn't be making any stops unless absolutely nec- essary. We're headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge All right, it's going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you're prepared for that." We all brace ourselves. A long bus ride? How long? Were Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible. We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break. The answer. "Two hours." Oh. derinthemadscientist English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing marzipanandminutiae a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn't interest us much because "it's not very old; only from the early 1600s" to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country guana-sneeze China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over, we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it's maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said "not THAT old" (bearing in mind they were Chinese) "it's from the 1500s." To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised l'd forgotten something: ". mean it's from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ" and they went "oh, AFTER... ceescedasticity My dad's favorite quote from various tours in Italy was "Pay no attention to the tower- it was a scornful tone] tenth century addition." My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago "A very nice village." blondegingersaxon This post keeps getting better 2thefingerfuckingfemalefury What I'm getting from this is both distance and time are Utterly Terrifying Source: penroseparticle America is so young.
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Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case of Fire Do lot Use Elevator Use Stairs thesilencedmasses: adminover20: radglawr: haedia: thewolfofnibu: stahscre4m: there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance.  Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside. What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom.  He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!” omfg the amount of fucks college kids don’t give astounds me IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS I LOVE THE IMPLICATION THAT THIS STUDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR SCALING THE BUILDINGS
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