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Bitch, Children, and Chuck Norris: "R-r-r-r-r-roger Taylor!" Freddie Mercury on Roger Taylor "Drummer, dentist, and tailor. Roger Taylor does it all" ~ Oscar Wilde on Roger Taylor "I have more hair than him. Brian May on Roger Taylor "The hottest man ever!" Every woman on earth Roger Meddows Taylor (born 26 July 1949), known as Roger Taylor, is the hottest guy ever. He is hotter than you. He is hotter than your son. He is hotter than the sun. When he was born the whole hospital went up in flames as his hotness was just starting to begin. In his teens, the good-old fashioned lover boy developed a routine that flabbergasted even priapic heroes such as Bob Pant and Lemmie of Motorhead: he introduced himself as Roger Taylor to one groupie and as Roger Meddows to the next before his re-entrance as Roger Meddows-Taylor, the double- barrelled playboy to the hapless third. His mother was a contortionist in the Barnum & Bailey Circus and his father was out of work due to his incontrollable addiction to potatoes. Roger became a man very quickly. He was hot and enjoyed inflicting temporary amnesia on his schoolmates by pummeling them in their heads with rugby balls. He would then jog back into the locker room, put on a mesh muscle shirt and cut school to pump iron. Roger Taylor as a young woman For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Roger Meddows Taylor. Roger Taylor is cooler than you. Over 11,000 people have reported deafness caused by hearing Roger Taylor's falsetto. . He played most of his shows asleep. Much to Freddie's amusement, he tried to dye his hair before a show, only to turn it a striking shade of green...or was it purple? . Roger Taylor is friends with Eric Cartman . Roger would probably go shag somebody, mainly himself! Even though he's a drummer, he likes music, and can even sing! Roger Taylor can defeat Chuck Norris. His cell phone carrier is Sprint, which is why Sprint occasionally has poor service; his voice destroys reception. Roger Taylor stole the cookies from the cookie jar. Roger Taylor has his own line of alarm clocks and burglar alarms in Italy. Consequently, more people report to work on time and the crime rate has gone down. There is also an increase in deaf businessmen and robbers with ringing in the ears. Roger Taylor lost the Game. Roger has five children (that he knows of) that are all in fact clones of various aspects of him e.g his eldest son sounds exactly like him, his second son looks exactly like him and is a drummer. There is a small lake in Wichita named after Roger Taylor. Roger's vagina is also known as Australia because of it's largeness in size. Roger Taylor and Meg Ryan were separated at birth. Roger was known for cooking up a piece of bacon so scrumptious and big, Freddie kept it for himself and christened it his bitch Roger's penis is the size of Rhode Island due to its tiny stature. moveimbi:why is this the most accurate description of Roger Meddows Taylor everΒ 
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Baseball, Bless Up, and College: this dog is half corgi half golden retriever @Drsmashlove Bruh lemme holla at y'all. Relationships take work. Above all u gotta understand the needs of the person u with. Everybody needs is different. Maybe yo girl love traveling. If that's what float her boat bruh u can't spend every holiday on the couch smoking weed eating Taco Bell. U gotta put them nacho supremes down and plan some shit. Go online and get a hotel at Trivago. Lil road trip. Keep it simple. Anything. But one thing u can't do it's not respond to the concern because u comfortable in your current situation. I mean, u can, but best believe Aaron the friendly young man who live one floor up who was a Jewish day camp counselor all thru college and follow baseball a little too much and work as a analyst at a boutique bank gonna merge and acquire your girl in a hot second while u shooting 13 year old Tyler from Wichita who flagrantly use the N-word too much on the video game screen. And Aaron's PowerPoint game might exceed his pipe game but he got that bed-and-breakfast game on lock. Type of nerdy lover boy to plan an entire trip on Microsoft Excel with departure and arrival times down to the minute, taking into account different time zones and daylight savings. He even request the type of pillow she like when he check into the Westin. U feel me? And yo girl gon date Aaron and she gon come back and let u pipe exactly one (1) more time before she Kaiser Sozay limp-walk out of yo life forever. U feel me? Just to remind u that u fucked up. And u gon shed a single tear into your gordita like "damn. I fucked up." Yes u did, bruh. Yes u did. Also, stop eating Taco Bell that shit disgusting and it's clouding your judgment. It's new taco places out. Where real Mexicans make the tacos, or enthusiastic hipster white people who traveled extensively along the Mexican coast to learn the art of the fish taco. U feel me? Just like blow jobs have progressed so have tacos. Stop living in 2003. Aight? Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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