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                            Mr. Knowles: The History Of Those Petty, Pesky “Beyonce Loves LeBron James” Jokes That Have ...
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            James Van Der Beek Says He Loves His Crying-Face Meme
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        sunshine-tattoo:
brunhiddensmusings:

skrytch:

2fngrsin:

shadowkat678:

dandy-boi-ftm:


natalie-cats:


The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.


Wait…what?


Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄



also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck


snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected. 
: sunshine-tattoo:
brunhiddensmusings:

skrytch:

2fngrsin:

shadowkat678:

dandy-boi-ftm:


natalie-cats:


The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.


Wait…what?


Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄



also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck


snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected. 

        

            
            

                
                
                    sunshine-tattoo:
brunhiddensmusings:

skrytch:

2fngrsin:

shadowkat678:

dandy-boi-ftm:


natalie-cats:


The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.


Wait…what?


Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄



also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck


snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected. 
: sunshine-tattoo:
brunhiddensmusings:

skrytch:

2fngrsin:

shadowkat678:

dandy-boi-ftm:


natalie-cats:


The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.


Wait…what?


Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄



also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck


snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected. 

                    
                
            

            
                
                
sunshine-tattoo:
brunhiddensmusings:

skrytch:

2fngrsin:

shadowkat678:

dandy-boi-ftm:


natalie-cats:


The best part is the fact that...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        wwwwyamd:
a-humble-waffle:


burn-brighter-than-fire:

oxfordcommaforever:

etanselian:

sexhaver:
the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated
The automated YouTube captions are bad in places so here is a transcription of this incredible call.
[Video description: A Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers keeping them to two minutes. The current caller is Jon Barr.]
LAPC President Eileen Decker, responding to the question “can you hear me?”: Yes, we can.
Barr: Great. Uh, first things first: Chief Moore, you’ve got to do a better job of pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer halfhearted smirks acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to go do more of them? I see a lot of you, particularly Soboroff, only react when folks use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about these 600-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protestors with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F-word, okay kids? I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs? If not, you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants. I know how desperate Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird. Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protestors are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers – that’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to tear gas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half-hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5PM, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud? All your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all non-cops as less than they are: stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect, and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T. Black lives matter, act like it. Happy Tuesday.



This one was amazing. 
I’m also a big fan of this one- short and sweet 

[Video description: Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers set to 30 seconds. The current caller is Jeremy Frisch.]
Frisch: Hello can you hear me?
Woman: Hi, yes. 
Frisch [getting progressively louder and angrier]: Black lives matter, defund the police. I find it disgusting that the LAPD is slaughtering peaceful protestors on the street. I had two friends go to the protest in Beverly Hills a couple days ago and the protest was peaceful until the police showed up with their excessive violent force, shooting rubber bullets and throwing tear gas. 
[Frisch is now yelling] 
Is this what you think is protecting and serving? Because I think it’s bullshit! Fuck you Michael Moore! I refuse to call you an officer or a chief because you don’t deserve those titles. You are a disgrace! Suck my dick and choke on it! I yield my time. FUCK YOU!



Holy mother of FUCK they went off



Thank you, thank you thank you for transcribing this because I was in a position with my “neutral” family where I couldn’t listen. Thank you 
: wwwwyamd:
a-humble-waffle:


burn-brighter-than-fire:

oxfordcommaforever:

etanselian:

sexhaver:
the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated
The automated YouTube captions are bad in places so here is a transcription of this incredible call.
[Video description: A Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers keeping them to two minutes. The current caller is Jon Barr.]
LAPC President Eileen Decker, responding to the question “can you hear me?”: Yes, we can.
Barr: Great. Uh, first things first: Chief Moore, you’ve got to do a better job of pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer halfhearted smirks acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to go do more of them? I see a lot of you, particularly Soboroff, only react when folks use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about these 600-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protestors with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F-word, okay kids? I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs? If not, you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants. I know how desperate Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird. Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protestors are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers – that’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to tear gas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half-hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5PM, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud? All your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all non-cops as less than they are: stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect, and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T. Black lives matter, act like it. Happy Tuesday.



This one was amazing. 
I’m also a big fan of this one- short and sweet 

[Video description: Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers set to 30 seconds. The current caller is Jeremy Frisch.]
Frisch: Hello can you hear me?
Woman: Hi, yes. 
Frisch [getting progressively louder and angrier]: Black lives matter, defund the police. I find it disgusting that the LAPD is slaughtering peaceful protestors on the street. I had two friends go to the protest in Beverly Hills a couple days ago and the protest was peaceful until the police showed up with their excessive violent force, shooting rubber bullets and throwing tear gas. 
[Frisch is now yelling] 
Is this what you think is protecting and serving? Because I think it’s bullshit! Fuck you Michael Moore! I refuse to call you an officer or a chief because you don’t deserve those titles. You are a disgrace! Suck my dick and choke on it! I yield my time. FUCK YOU!



Holy mother of FUCK they went off



Thank you, thank you thank you for transcribing this because I was in a position with my “neutral” family where I couldn’t listen. Thank you 

        

            
            

                
                
                    wwwwyamd:
a-humble-waffle:


burn-brighter-than-fire:

oxfordcommaforever:

etanselian:

sexhaver:
the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated
The automated YouTube captions are bad in places so here is a transcription of this incredible call.
[Video description: A Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers keeping them to two minutes. The current caller is Jon Barr.]
LAPC President Eileen Decker, responding to the question “can you hear me?”: Yes, we can.
Barr: Great. Uh, first things first: Chief Moore, you’ve got to do a better job of pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer halfhearted smirks acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to go do more of them? I see a lot of you, particularly Soboroff, only react when folks use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about these 600-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protestors with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F-word, okay kids? I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs? If not, you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants. I know how desperate Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird. Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protestors are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers – that’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to tear gas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half-hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5PM, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud? All your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all non-cops as less than they are: stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect, and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T. Black lives matter, act like it. Happy Tuesday.



This one was amazing. 
I’m also a big fan of this one- short and sweet 

[Video description: Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers set to 30 seconds. The current caller is Jeremy Frisch.]
Frisch: Hello can you hear me?
Woman: Hi, yes. 
Frisch [getting progressively louder and angrier]: Black lives matter, defund the police. I find it disgusting that the LAPD is slaughtering peaceful protestors on the street. I had two friends go to the protest in Beverly Hills a couple days ago and the protest was peaceful until the police showed up with their excessive violent force, shooting rubber bullets and throwing tear gas. 
[Frisch is now yelling] 
Is this what you think is protecting and serving? Because I think it’s bullshit! Fuck you Michael Moore! I refuse to call you an officer or a chief because you don’t deserve those titles. You are a disgrace! Suck my dick and choke on it! I yield my time. FUCK YOU!



Holy mother of FUCK they went off



Thank you, thank you thank you for transcribing this because I was in a position with my “neutral” family where I couldn’t listen. Thank you 
: wwwwyamd:
a-humble-waffle:


burn-brighter-than-fire:

oxfordcommaforever:

etanselian:

sexhaver:
the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated
The automated YouTube captions are bad in places so here is a transcription of this incredible call.
[Video description: A Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers keeping them to two minutes. The current caller is Jon Barr.]
LAPC President Eileen Decker, responding to the question “can you hear me?”: Yes, we can.
Barr: Great. Uh, first things first: Chief Moore, you’ve got to do a better job of pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer halfhearted smirks acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to go do more of them? I see a lot of you, particularly Soboroff, only react when folks use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about these 600-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protestors with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F-word, okay kids? I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs? If not, you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants. I know how desperate Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird. Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protestors are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers – that’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to tear gas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half-hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5PM, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud? All your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all non-cops as less than they are: stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect, and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T. Black lives matter, act like it. Happy Tuesday.



This one was amazing. 
I’m also a big fan of this one- short and sweet 

[Video description: Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers set to 30 seconds. The current caller is Jeremy Frisch.]
Frisch: Hello can you hear me?
Woman: Hi, yes. 
Frisch [getting progressively louder and angrier]: Black lives matter, defund the police. I find it disgusting that the LAPD is slaughtering peaceful protestors on the street. I had two friends go to the protest in Beverly Hills a couple days ago and the protest was peaceful until the police showed up with their excessive violent force, shooting rubber bullets and throwing tear gas. 
[Frisch is now yelling] 
Is this what you think is protecting and serving? Because I think it’s bullshit! Fuck you Michael Moore! I refuse to call you an officer or a chief because you don’t deserve those titles. You are a disgrace! Suck my dick and choke on it! I yield my time. FUCK YOU!



Holy mother of FUCK they went off



Thank you, thank you thank you for transcribing this because I was in a position with my “neutral” family where I couldn’t listen. Thank you 

                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        number-four:

becausewedefinetheworld:

sirro85-blog:

oneshoeshort:

abbessolute:


feytaline-loves:

motherfrigginpsas:
LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDSSTOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND.  YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER.“Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!”WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCKCALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU.AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE.I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love! For the love of god PLEASE REBLOG THIS
I see this stupid fucking post one a goddamn week and someone is going to literally fucking die from it

@oneshoeshort


IF YOU WONT LISTEN TO OP, LISTEN TO THE RETIRED PARAMEDIC WHO HAS SEEN PEOPLE DIE FROM THIS SHIT. 


Poison control may advise diluting the toxin somehow like with water or milk, otherwise do not give them something to drink and take the empty pill bottle/ blister pack with you to the hospital. 

btw just searched it up, US poison control number is 1 800 222 1222



aight so i googled these so PLEASE correct me if im wrong BUT:
(these were the only ones i could find, most likely because of the international number listed above and below, but I felt necessary to add them all.)
Åland Islands: Poison Control Center (09) 471 977
(Australia-wide) 131126 wch.sa.gov.au
CARPIN CARibbean Poison Information Network Jamaica and the wider Caribbean: Telephone: 1-888-POISONS, 1-888-764-7667 (toll fee)
Cyprus: Drugs/Narcotics/Poison Emergency Tel: 1401
Malaysia, Philippines, & other aurrounding locations: PRN(Pusat Racun Negara) Poisoning and Emergency: 1-800-88-8099 & 04-6570099
Trinidad & Tobago: Poison Hotline 800-2PIC(2742) (Tel)
AAPCC (American Association of Poison Control Centers) AND FOR INTERNATIONAL USE AS WELL. INTERPRETATION FOR 161 LANGUAGES ARE AVAILABLE:
1-800-222-1222
: number-four:

becausewedefinetheworld:

sirro85-blog:

oneshoeshort:

abbessolute:


feytaline-loves:

motherfrigginpsas:
LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDSSTOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND.  YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER.“Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!”WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCKCALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU.AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE.I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love! For the love of god PLEASE REBLOG THIS
I see this stupid fucking post one a goddamn week and someone is going to literally fucking die from it

@oneshoeshort


IF YOU WONT LISTEN TO OP, LISTEN TO THE RETIRED PARAMEDIC WHO HAS SEEN PEOPLE DIE FROM THIS SHIT. 


Poison control may advise diluting the toxin somehow like with water or milk, otherwise do not give them something to drink and take the empty pill bottle/ blister pack with you to the hospital. 

btw just searched it up, US poison control number is 1 800 222 1222



aight so i googled these so PLEASE correct me if im wrong BUT:
(these were the only ones i could find, most likely because of the international number listed above and below, but I felt necessary to add them all.)
Åland Islands: Poison Control Center (09) 471 977
(Australia-wide) 131126 wch.sa.gov.au
CARPIN CARibbean Poison Information Network Jamaica and the wider Caribbean: Telephone: 1-888-POISONS, 1-888-764-7667 (toll fee)
Cyprus: Drugs/Narcotics/Poison Emergency Tel: 1401
Malaysia, Philippines, & other aurrounding locations: PRN(Pusat Racun Negara) Poisoning and Emergency: 1-800-88-8099 & 04-6570099
Trinidad & Tobago: Poison Hotline 800-2PIC(2742) (Tel)
AAPCC (American Association of Poison Control Centers) AND FOR INTERNATIONAL USE AS WELL. INTERPRETATION FOR 161 LANGUAGES ARE AVAILABLE:
1-800-222-1222

        

            
            

                
                
                    number-four:

becausewedefinetheworld:

sirro85-blog:

oneshoeshort:

abbessolute:


feytaline-loves:

motherfrigginpsas:
LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDSSTOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND.  YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER.“Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!”WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCKCALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU.AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE.I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love! For the love of god PLEASE REBLOG THIS
I see this stupid fucking post one a goddamn week and someone is going to literally fucking die from it

@oneshoeshort


IF YOU WONT LISTEN TO OP, LISTEN TO THE RETIRED PARAMEDIC WHO HAS SEEN PEOPLE DIE FROM THIS SHIT. 


Poison control may advise diluting the toxin somehow like with water or milk, otherwise do not give them something to drink and take the empty pill bottle/ blister pack with you to the hospital. 

btw just searched it up, US poison control number is 1 800 222 1222



aight so i googled these so PLEASE correct me if im wrong BUT:
(these were the only ones i could find, most likely because of the international number listed above and below, but I felt necessary to add them all.)
Åland Islands: Poison Control Center (09) 471 977
(Australia-wide) 131126 wch.sa.gov.au
CARPIN CARibbean Poison Information Network Jamaica and the wider Caribbean: Telephone: 1-888-POISONS, 1-888-764-7667 (toll fee)
Cyprus: Drugs/Narcotics/Poison Emergency Tel: 1401
Malaysia, Philippines, & other aurrounding locations: PRN(Pusat Racun Negara) Poisoning and Emergency: 1-800-88-8099 & 04-6570099
Trinidad & Tobago: Poison Hotline 800-2PIC(2742) (Tel)
AAPCC (American Association of Poison Control Centers) AND FOR INTERNATIONAL USE AS WELL. INTERPRETATION FOR 161 LANGUAGES ARE AVAILABLE:
1-800-222-1222
: number-four:

becausewedefinetheworld:

sirro85-blog:

oneshoeshort:

abbessolute:


feytaline-loves:

motherfrigginpsas:
LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDSSTOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND.  YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER.“Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!”WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCKCALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU.AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE.I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love! For the love of god PLEASE REBLOG THIS
I see this stupid fucking post one a goddamn week and someone is going to literally fucking die from it

@oneshoeshort


IF YOU WONT LISTEN TO OP, LISTEN TO THE RETIRED PARAMEDIC WHO HAS SEEN PEOPLE DIE FROM THIS SHIT. 


Poison control may advise diluting the toxin somehow like with water or milk, otherwise do not give them something to drink and take the empty pill bottle/ blister pack with you to the hospital. 

btw just searched it up, US poison control number is 1 800 222 1222



aight so i googled these so PLEASE correct me if im wrong BUT:
(these were the only ones i could find, most likely because of the international number listed above and below, but I felt necessary to add them all.)
Åland Islands: Poison Control Center (09) 471 977
(Australia-wide) 131126 wch.sa.gov.au
CARPIN CARibbean Poison Information Network Jamaica and the wider Caribbean: Telephone: 1-888-POISONS, 1-888-764-7667 (toll fee)
Cyprus: Drugs/Narcotics/Poison Emergency Tel: 1401
Malaysia, Philippines, & other aurrounding locations: PRN(Pusat Racun Negara) Poisoning and Emergency: 1-800-88-8099 & 04-6570099
Trinidad & Tobago: Poison Hotline 800-2PIC(2742) (Tel)
AAPCC (American Association of Poison Control Centers) AND FOR INTERNATIONAL USE AS WELL. INTERPRETATION FOR 161 LANGUAGES ARE AVAILABLE:
1-800-222-1222

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        rayethefox14524:

g-blocking-antis:


notice-me-cherry-pie:


the-joker-hates-sjws:

kaldicuct:

jdbsmg-star:

henryismywaifu:

tinybookling:

littleblackchat:

lifeiscaulscott:

semiauto14:

daissychainss:

dilfweed:

jennaavh:

madmints:

takesabeating:

cheshireinthemiddle:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

Teach children that this is not ok

Teach children that there’s nothing wrong with this

I’m really not understanding why you think cultural appropriation would be ok, unless you are assuming that the girl in the picture is part Japanese.

Yellow face yet she’s using white makeup in the traditional style but okay.
Cultural appropriation isn’t a thing, hon. ☺️ Cultures should be shared by all means.

I disagree. The makeup is clearly reflective of traditional Geisha makeup which is yellowface and therefore racist. Furthermore, the girl is wearing a kimono, a garment that has for ages carried cultural significance. Assuming that she is white how can you think this is ok? And cultural appropriation isn’t a thing? What rock do you live under? I suggest you educate yourself on the differences between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation.

I am japanese, in japan at this very moment. The only people who think culture shouldnt be shared are racists like you. 
A vast majority of Japanese people actually enjoy other people making an effort to spread and enjoy japanese culture, and encourage it. Many make businesses in deliberately taking pictures of people in kimono. A common omiage (gift) for foreigners from japanese people is traditional japanese things such as kimonos, tea seats, shisa dog statues, ect. 
And to top it off, basically 80 percent of japanese customs, traditions, and food, came from other countries. Japanese is an integration of different cultures, like america. Japan takes influences from places like korea, china, russia, and europe. If japan stuck to itself, there would be no tempura, japanese tea, tea ceremonies, kabuki, japanese bread, japanese curry, j- pop, anime, cars, or modern fishing techniques. The picture is not “yellow face” they are not making fun of asians. In fact, it looks like they put extra care and research into their work. 
The only reason that you have a problem with this is because that little girl is white and you know that it is acceptable on tumblr to crap all over white people. The only racist here is you.

Rekt

b t f o

Dang she got shut down.

Damn I’ve never hit reblog so fast in my entire fucking life

Daaaaamn

Pew pew pew

I reblog this every time I see it

I live in Japan and I’d like to back up this sentiment. 
Recently a museum in Boston came under a lot of fire for allowing visitors to wear a ‘kimono’ (it was featuring a painting my Monet of a girl – a white girl – in a kimono, and the museum had replicas made that guests of ANY RACE could wear to mimic the painting, Pageant-of-the-Masters style). After protests and heated debate, the museum closed the event.
I was living in Japan at the time, and out of all the *actual* Japanese people I asked, not a single one was offended by the event. Rather, they were excited that people half a world away were showing interest in their culture, and were sad that visitors could no longer enjoy the event.
This party, though somewhat silly in application, is an attempt at experiencing and appreciating another culture. The mom who put this together is not an expert on Japan, but she did her best. She got a lot of things right: there are few things Japan loves more than tea, Pocky, and sakura. 
Where do you draw the line for who is “allowed” to learn about Japan? If the girl were of Japanese descent, would that make it ok (even though her citizenship would be the same as the girl from the photo)? If one of the girl’s parents were from Japan, then would it be ok? 
Are you only allowed to make pizza if you live in Italy? If you’re an Italian immigrant? How do we decide these things??
You can’t say you want to dismantle racism and then in the next breath make rules – based on race – for who people can wear, try, or eat, especially when the intent is obviously to have fun experiencing a culture (as opposed to having fun by making fun of a race or culture, like blackface does). 
When you tell people they can only experience things ‘meant for their race’, it totally smacks of segregation to me and I can’t stand it. As someone who (obviously) loves Japan, I say let people learn about it, let people experience it, let people appreciate it. You don’t have to know every single thing about a culture to enjoy it.



fucking people got owned is what, fuck i hate how people say you cant do shit when culture should be shared and is shared its how it grows and changes through fucking generations itS HOW YOU LEARN about the world and just fucking, tumblr fucking stupid like 70% of the dam time

this new light

Vintage post, sipping on it like fine wine.

Always a fan of seeing this happen



Have fun, not make fun of



Same. I’m glad when people enjoy my culture, wear our traditional clothes and try our food recipes, as long as its respectful :)



All people should try to learn other religions! I’m proud of this girl!
: rayethefox14524:

g-blocking-antis:


notice-me-cherry-pie:


the-joker-hates-sjws:

kaldicuct:

jdbsmg-star:

henryismywaifu:

tinybookling:

littleblackchat:

lifeiscaulscott:

semiauto14:

daissychainss:

dilfweed:

jennaavh:

madmints:

takesabeating:

cheshireinthemiddle:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

Teach children that this is not ok

Teach children that there’s nothing wrong with this

I’m really not understanding why you think cultural appropriation would be ok, unless you are assuming that the girl in the picture is part Japanese.

Yellow face yet she’s using white makeup in the traditional style but okay.
Cultural appropriation isn’t a thing, hon. ☺️ Cultures should be shared by all means.

I disagree. The makeup is clearly reflective of traditional Geisha makeup which is yellowface and therefore racist. Furthermore, the girl is wearing a kimono, a garment that has for ages carried cultural significance. Assuming that she is white how can you think this is ok? And cultural appropriation isn’t a thing? What rock do you live under? I suggest you educate yourself on the differences between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation.

I am japanese, in japan at this very moment. The only people who think culture shouldnt be shared are racists like you. 
A vast majority of Japanese people actually enjoy other people making an effort to spread and enjoy japanese culture, and encourage it. Many make businesses in deliberately taking pictures of people in kimono. A common omiage (gift) for foreigners from japanese people is traditional japanese things such as kimonos, tea seats, shisa dog statues, ect. 
And to top it off, basically 80 percent of japanese customs, traditions, and food, came from other countries. Japanese is an integration of different cultures, like america. Japan takes influences from places like korea, china, russia, and europe. If japan stuck to itself, there would be no tempura, japanese tea, tea ceremonies, kabuki, japanese bread, japanese curry, j- pop, anime, cars, or modern fishing techniques. The picture is not “yellow face” they are not making fun of asians. In fact, it looks like they put extra care and research into their work. 
The only reason that you have a problem with this is because that little girl is white and you know that it is acceptable on tumblr to crap all over white people. The only racist here is you.

Rekt

b t f o

Dang she got shut down.

Damn I’ve never hit reblog so fast in my entire fucking life

Daaaaamn

Pew pew pew

I reblog this every time I see it

I live in Japan and I’d like to back up this sentiment. 
Recently a museum in Boston came under a lot of fire for allowing visitors to wear a ‘kimono’ (it was featuring a painting my Monet of a girl – a white girl – in a kimono, and the museum had replicas made that guests of ANY RACE could wear to mimic the painting, Pageant-of-the-Masters style). After protests and heated debate, the museum closed the event.
I was living in Japan at the time, and out of all the *actual* Japanese people I asked, not a single one was offended by the event. Rather, they were excited that people half a world away were showing interest in their culture, and were sad that visitors could no longer enjoy the event.
This party, though somewhat silly in application, is an attempt at experiencing and appreciating another culture. The mom who put this together is not an expert on Japan, but she did her best. She got a lot of things right: there are few things Japan loves more than tea, Pocky, and sakura. 
Where do you draw the line for who is “allowed” to learn about Japan? If the girl were of Japanese descent, would that make it ok (even though her citizenship would be the same as the girl from the photo)? If one of the girl’s parents were from Japan, then would it be ok? 
Are you only allowed to make pizza if you live in Italy? If you’re an Italian immigrant? How do we decide these things??
You can’t say you want to dismantle racism and then in the next breath make rules – based on race – for who people can wear, try, or eat, especially when the intent is obviously to have fun experiencing a culture (as opposed to having fun by making fun of a race or culture, like blackface does). 
When you tell people they can only experience things ‘meant for their race’, it totally smacks of segregation to me and I can’t stand it. As someone who (obviously) loves Japan, I say let people learn about it, let people experience it, let people appreciate it. You don’t have to know every single thing about a culture to enjoy it.



fucking people got owned is what, fuck i hate how people say you cant do shit when culture should be shared and is shared its how it grows and changes through fucking generations itS HOW YOU LEARN about the world and just fucking, tumblr fucking stupid like 70% of the dam time

this new light

Vintage post, sipping on it like fine wine.

Always a fan of seeing this happen



Have fun, not make fun of



Same. I’m glad when people enjoy my culture, wear our traditional clothes and try our food recipes, as long as its respectful :)



All people should try to learn other religions! I’m proud of this girl!

        

            
            

                
                
                    rayethefox14524:

g-blocking-antis:


notice-me-cherry-pie:


the-joker-hates-sjws:

kaldicuct:

jdbsmg-star:

henryismywaifu:

tinybookling:

littleblackchat:

lifeiscaulscott:

semiauto14:

daissychainss:

dilfweed:

jennaavh:

madmints:

takesabeating:

cheshireinthemiddle:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

Teach children that this is not ok

Teach children that there’s nothing wrong with this

I’m really not understanding why you think cultural appropriation would be ok, unless you are assuming that the girl in the picture is part Japanese.

Yellow face yet she’s using white makeup in the traditional style but okay.
Cultural appropriation isn’t a thing, hon. ☺️ Cultures should be shared by all means.

I disagree. The makeup is clearly reflective of traditional Geisha makeup which is yellowface and therefore racist. Furthermore, the girl is wearing a kimono, a garment that has for ages carried cultural significance. Assuming that she is white how can you think this is ok? And cultural appropriation isn’t a thing? What rock do you live under? I suggest you educate yourself on the differences between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation.

I am japanese, in japan at this very moment. The only people who think culture shouldnt be shared are racists like you. 
A vast majority of Japanese people actually enjoy other people making an effort to spread and enjoy japanese culture, and encourage it. Many make businesses in deliberately taking pictures of people in kimono. A common omiage (gift) for foreigners from japanese people is traditional japanese things such as kimonos, tea seats, shisa dog statues, ect. 
And to top it off, basically 80 percent of japanese customs, traditions, and food, came from other countries. Japanese is an integration of different cultures, like america. Japan takes influences from places like korea, china, russia, and europe. If japan stuck to itself, there would be no tempura, japanese tea, tea ceremonies, kabuki, japanese bread, japanese curry, j- pop, anime, cars, or modern fishing techniques. The picture is not “yellow face” they are not making fun of asians. In fact, it looks like they put extra care and research into their work. 
The only reason that you have a problem with this is because that little girl is white and you know that it is acceptable on tumblr to crap all over white people. The only racist here is you.

Rekt

b t f o

Dang she got shut down.

Damn I’ve never hit reblog so fast in my entire fucking life

Daaaaamn

Pew pew pew

I reblog this every time I see it

I live in Japan and I’d like to back up this sentiment. 
Recently a museum in Boston came under a lot of fire for allowing visitors to wear a ‘kimono’ (it was featuring a painting my Monet of a girl – a white girl – in a kimono, and the museum had replicas made that guests of ANY RACE could wear to mimic the painting, Pageant-of-the-Masters style). After protests and heated debate, the museum closed the event.
I was living in Japan at the time, and out of all the *actual* Japanese people I asked, not a single one was offended by the event. Rather, they were excited that people half a world away were showing interest in their culture, and were sad that visitors could no longer enjoy the event.
This party, though somewhat silly in application, is an attempt at experiencing and appreciating another culture. The mom who put this together is not an expert on Japan, but she did her best. She got a lot of things right: there are few things Japan loves more than tea, Pocky, and sakura. 
Where do you draw the line for who is “allowed” to learn about Japan? If the girl were of Japanese descent, would that make it ok (even though her citizenship would be the same as the girl from the photo)? If one of the girl’s parents were from Japan, then would it be ok? 
Are you only allowed to make pizza if you live in Italy? If you’re an Italian immigrant? How do we decide these things??
You can’t say you want to dismantle racism and then in the next breath make rules – based on race – for who people can wear, try, or eat, especially when the intent is obviously to have fun experiencing a culture (as opposed to having fun by making fun of a race or culture, like blackface does). 
When you tell people they can only experience things ‘meant for their race’, it totally smacks of segregation to me and I can’t stand it. As someone who (obviously) loves Japan, I say let people learn about it, let people experience it, let people appreciate it. You don’t have to know every single thing about a culture to enjoy it.



fucking people got owned is what, fuck i hate how people say you cant do shit when culture should be shared and is shared its how it grows and changes through fucking generations itS HOW YOU LEARN about the world and just fucking, tumblr fucking stupid like 70% of the dam time

this new light

Vintage post, sipping on it like fine wine.

Always a fan of seeing this happen



Have fun, not make fun of



Same. I’m glad when people enjoy my culture, wear our traditional clothes and try our food recipes, as long as its respectful :)



All people should try to learn other religions! I’m proud of this girl!
: rayethefox14524:

g-blocking-antis:


notice-me-cherry-pie:


the-joker-hates-sjws:

kaldicuct:

jdbsmg-star:

henryismywaifu:

tinybookling:

littleblackchat:

lifeiscaulscott:

semiauto14:

daissychainss:

dilfweed:

jennaavh:

madmints:

takesabeating:

cheshireinthemiddle:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

Teach children that this is not ok

Teach children that there’s nothing wrong with this

I’m really not understanding why you think cultural appropriation would be ok, unless you are assuming that the girl in the picture is part Japanese.

Yellow face yet she’s using white makeup in the traditional style but okay.
Cultural appropriation isn’t a thing, hon. ☺️ Cultures should be shared by all means.

I disagree. The makeup is clearly reflective of traditional Geisha makeup which is yellowface and therefore racist. Furthermore, the girl is wearing a kimono, a garment that has for ages carried cultural significance. Assuming that she is white how can you think this is ok? And cultural appropriation isn’t a thing? What rock do you live under? I suggest you educate yourself on the differences between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation.

I am japanese, in japan at this very moment. The only people who think culture shouldnt be shared are racists like you. 
A vast majority of Japanese people actually enjoy other people making an effort to spread and enjoy japanese culture, and encourage it. Many make businesses in deliberately taking pictures of people in kimono. A common omiage (gift) for foreigners from japanese people is traditional japanese things such as kimonos, tea seats, shisa dog statues, ect. 
And to top it off, basically 80 percent of japanese customs, traditions, and food, came from other countries. Japanese is an integration of different cultures, like america. Japan takes influences from places like korea, china, russia, and europe. If japan stuck to itself, there would be no tempura, japanese tea, tea ceremonies, kabuki, japanese bread, japanese curry, j- pop, anime, cars, or modern fishing techniques. The picture is not “yellow face” they are not making fun of asians. In fact, it looks like they put extra care and research into their work. 
The only reason that you have a problem with this is because that little girl is white and you know that it is acceptable on tumblr to crap all over white people. The only racist here is you.

Rekt

b t f o

Dang she got shut down.

Damn I’ve never hit reblog so fast in my entire fucking life

Daaaaamn

Pew pew pew

I reblog this every time I see it

I live in Japan and I’d like to back up this sentiment. 
Recently a museum in Boston came under a lot of fire for allowing visitors to wear a ‘kimono’ (it was featuring a painting my Monet of a girl – a white girl – in a kimono, and the museum had replicas made that guests of ANY RACE could wear to mimic the painting, Pageant-of-the-Masters style). After protests and heated debate, the museum closed the event.
I was living in Japan at the time, and out of all the *actual* Japanese people I asked, not a single one was offended by the event. Rather, they were excited that people half a world away were showing interest in their culture, and were sad that visitors could no longer enjoy the event.
This party, though somewhat silly in application, is an attempt at experiencing and appreciating another culture. The mom who put this together is not an expert on Japan, but she did her best. She got a lot of things right: there are few things Japan loves more than tea, Pocky, and sakura. 
Where do you draw the line for who is “allowed” to learn about Japan? If the girl were of Japanese descent, would that make it ok (even though her citizenship would be the same as the girl from the photo)? If one of the girl’s parents were from Japan, then would it be ok? 
Are you only allowed to make pizza if you live in Italy? If you’re an Italian immigrant? How do we decide these things??
You can’t say you want to dismantle racism and then in the next breath make rules – based on race – for who people can wear, try, or eat, especially when the intent is obviously to have fun experiencing a culture (as opposed to having fun by making fun of a race or culture, like blackface does). 
When you tell people they can only experience things ‘meant for their race’, it totally smacks of segregation to me and I can’t stand it. As someone who (obviously) loves Japan, I say let people learn about it, let people experience it, let people appreciate it. You don’t have to know every single thing about a culture to enjoy it.



fucking people got owned is what, fuck i hate how people say you cant do shit when culture should be shared and is shared its how it grows and changes through fucking generations itS HOW YOU LEARN about the world and just fucking, tumblr fucking stupid like 70% of the dam time

this new light

Vintage post, sipping on it like fine wine.

Always a fan of seeing this happen



Have fun, not make fun of



Same. I’m glad when people enjoy my culture, wear our traditional clothes and try our food recipes, as long as its respectful :)



All people should try to learn other religions! I’m proud of this girl!

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni . 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though — on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❤️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the “everything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
“And my bed?”Yes, and your bed.“And that wall?”Yep.“And the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.……“And… the book case?”Y—
“And my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.“And your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.……“But is it made of atoms?”Yep.“And… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
“Is [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
“Is my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks “is [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”



: the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni . 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though — on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❤️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the “everything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
“And my bed?”Yes, and your bed.“And that wall?”Yep.“And the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.……“And… the book case?”Y—
“And my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.“And your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.……“But is it made of atoms?”Yep.“And… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
“Is [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
“Is my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks “is [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”




        

            
            

                
                
                    the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni . 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though — on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❤️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the “everything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
“And my bed?”Yes, and your bed.“And that wall?”Yep.“And the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.……“And… the book case?”Y—
“And my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.“And your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.……“But is it made of atoms?”Yep.“And… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
“Is [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
“Is my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks “is [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”



: the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni . 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though — on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❤️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the “everything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
“And my bed?”Yes, and your bed.“And that wall?”Yep.“And the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.……“And… the book case?”Y—
“And my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.“And your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.……“But is it made of atoms?”Yep.“And… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
“Is [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
“Is my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks “is [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”




                    
                
            

            
                
                
the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

        

            
            

                
                
                    cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

                    
                
            

            
                
                
cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the g...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        He loves pizza: He loves pizza
        

            
            

                
                
                    He loves pizza: He loves pizza
                    
                
            

            
                
                
He loves pizza

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        snailienz:
asgardian-viking:

croxovergoddess:

susiethemoderator:

marrymejasonsegel:


quietstorm-thundathighs:

hustleinatrap:
wtf?

who?


I just read the plot of this and somehow it gets worse???
the dwarfs are princes under a curse. In order to break the spell, they need a pair of magic red shoes. But currently the red shoes are owned by Snow White, who, get this, has “let herself go” but when she wears the shoes, they show how beautiful she is on the inside—aka thin.
So basically in order for the princes to break the curse, they have to doom Snow White to a life of fatness.why do they hate us so much.


Yikes…



Saw the movie recently and that’s literally not the plot at all
The advertisement group was disgusting af and when the movie came out it was actually nothing like those ads
The princes need to be loved by a “beautiful” woman but what’s beautiful is an opinion.
Snow white loves her size and strength (yeah she lifts!) but her dad goes missing and no man was willing to help her until she ended up in those red shoes. She doesn’t like what the shoes make her into. She just likes finally being helped.
It’s a love story between her and one of the dwarves where He needs to learn to not judge himself or other’s based off appearances 
Spoilers but they get together at the end
He’s a prince again and she stays her cute fat self

So, it was really just a case of really bad marketing



: snailienz:
asgardian-viking:

croxovergoddess:

susiethemoderator:

marrymejasonsegel:


quietstorm-thundathighs:

hustleinatrap:
wtf?

who?


I just read the plot of this and somehow it gets worse???
the dwarfs are princes under a curse. In order to break the spell, they need a pair of magic red shoes. But currently the red shoes are owned by Snow White, who, get this, has “let herself go” but when she wears the shoes, they show how beautiful she is on the inside—aka thin.
So basically in order for the princes to break the curse, they have to doom Snow White to a life of fatness.why do they hate us so much.


Yikes…



Saw the movie recently and that’s literally not the plot at all
The advertisement group was disgusting af and when the movie came out it was actually nothing like those ads
The princes need to be loved by a “beautiful” woman but what’s beautiful is an opinion.
Snow white loves her size and strength (yeah she lifts!) but her dad goes missing and no man was willing to help her until she ended up in those red shoes. She doesn’t like what the shoes make her into. She just likes finally being helped.
It’s a love story between her and one of the dwarves where He needs to learn to not judge himself or other’s based off appearances 
Spoilers but they get together at the end
He’s a prince again and she stays her cute fat self

So, it was really just a case of really bad marketing




        

            
            

                
                
                    snailienz:
asgardian-viking:

croxovergoddess:

susiethemoderator:

marrymejasonsegel:


quietstorm-thundathighs:

hustleinatrap:
wtf?

who?


I just read the plot of this and somehow it gets worse???
the dwarfs are princes under a curse. In order to break the spell, they need a pair of magic red shoes. But currently the red shoes are owned by Snow White, who, get this, has “let herself go” but when she wears the shoes, they show how beautiful she is on the inside—aka thin.
So basically in order for the princes to break the curse, they have to doom Snow White to a life of fatness.why do they hate us so much.


Yikes…



Saw the movie recently and that’s literally not the plot at all
The advertisement group was disgusting af and when the movie came out it was actually nothing like those ads
The princes need to be loved by a “beautiful” woman but what’s beautiful is an opinion.
Snow white loves her size and strength (yeah she lifts!) but her dad goes missing and no man was willing to help her until she ended up in those red shoes. She doesn’t like what the shoes make her into. She just likes finally being helped.
It’s a love story between her and one of the dwarves where He needs to learn to not judge himself or other’s based off appearances 
Spoilers but they get together at the end
He’s a prince again and she stays her cute fat self

So, it was really just a case of really bad marketing



: snailienz:
asgardian-viking:

croxovergoddess:

susiethemoderator:

marrymejasonsegel:


quietstorm-thundathighs:

hustleinatrap:
wtf?

who?


I just read the plot of this and somehow it gets worse???
the dwarfs are princes under a curse. In order to break the spell, they need a pair of magic red shoes. But currently the red shoes are owned by Snow White, who, get this, has “let herself go” but when she wears the shoes, they show how beautiful she is on the inside—aka thin.
So basically in order for the princes to break the curse, they have to doom Snow White to a life of fatness.why do they hate us so much.


Yikes…



Saw the movie recently and that’s literally not the plot at all
The advertisement group was disgusting af and when the movie came out it was actually nothing like those ads
The princes need to be loved by a “beautiful” woman but what’s beautiful is an opinion.
Snow white loves her size and strength (yeah she lifts!) but her dad goes missing and no man was willing to help her until she ended up in those red shoes. She doesn’t like what the shoes make her into. She just likes finally being helped.
It’s a love story between her and one of the dwarves where He needs to learn to not judge himself or other’s based off appearances 
Spoilers but they get together at the end
He’s a prince again and she stays her cute fat self

So, it was really just a case of really bad marketing




                    
                
            

            
                
                
snailienz:
asgardian-viking:

croxovergoddess:

susiethemoderator:

marrymejasonsegel:


quietstorm-thundathighs:

hustleinatrap:
wtf?

w...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this
: ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this

        

            
            

                
                
                    ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this
: ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER



I love this

                    
                
            

            
                
                
ironwoman359:
cereusblue:

unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
Th...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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                                    James Van Der Beek Says He Loves His Crying-Face Meme
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    James Van Der Beek loves his crying meme
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    Oscars 2020 memes: Bong Joon-ho loves his Oscar and Billie Eilish looks horrified