Just keep yo damn mouf shut about it, k?
need-to-know
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serve

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keys

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enjoying
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๐Ÿ”ฅ Popular | Latest

Bad, Bad Boys, and Christmas: HELI'S KITCHEN MOVME CUB XMAS SPECIAL MUN ou ARE MOST ToUBLESOME FOR A SECURITY GUARD ใ„งใ„‹ EEENH! SORRY, HANS, WRONG GUESS. Wouw You IKE TO รฃo FOR OUBLE JEOPARTY,WHERE THE SCORES CAN REALLY CHANGE? CWHOA, THESE THINGS ARE REALLY BAD FOR You THEN WHO ARE You? [INDIANA JONES THEME MUSIC PLAYS] WHEWE JUST A FLY IN THE OINTMENT, HANS. ER PSHUU THE MONKEY KLIK TTER WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, MARY? WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU WANT THE MOON? JUST SAY THE WORD AND I'LL THROW A LASSO AROUND T AND PULL IT DOWN HEY. THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA. I'LL GIVE YOU THE MOON, MARY. I'LL TAKE IT. THEN WHAT, GEORGE? SNIFE WELL, THEN YOU CAN SWALLOWIT AND IT'LL ALL DISSOLVE, SEE. AND THE MOONBEAMS WOULD SHOOT OUT OF YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR TOES AND THE ENDS OF YOUR HAIR... AM I TALKING TOO MUCH? YES! WHY DON'T YOU KISS HER, INSTEAD OF TALKING HER TO DEATH? HKMC is a work of satire by Dave Acosta (@davedrawsgood), Dee Cunniffe (@deezoid) & Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. Next episode: Death Wish. Or maybe Predator. Dunno. No for real, The Thin Man is "clearly" the best Xmas movie. William Powell is a comedy genius. (If you like Nick & Nora, check out My Man Godfrey, another brillant Powell screwball that has the greatest and by greatest we mean most fucked-up- meetcute of all time.) There's a period in one's young adulthood where it's deeply uncool to like A Wonderful Life. Sentimentality! Ugh, gross. Then you get older, and messages of hope seem a lot more necessary than before. Also, Jimmy Stewart is funny as hell. Not just his delivery, but his physical business between lines? #Goals. Stewart has been in a lot of great films Capra's so current it hurt Mr Smith Frex but if you like nors, dig up the under-appreciated Preminger classic, Anatomy of a Murder. Duke Ellington wrote&performed the score! Anyway: Happy Christmas from all of us. You are more important than you know, and more loved than you believe. Things will get better, give it time. alexdecampi: Hells Kitchen Movie Club Xmas Special! Ho ho ho, motherfuckers! Love from me, @dave-acosta and @deecunniffe Buckyโ€™s shirt a low-key nod to @buckykingofmemes, who we adore Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // That time the Punisherโ€™s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta HOW did I get a shoutout in this A YEAR AGO and never knew about it?? This series is excellent! Look at that drowsy Bucky!
Barber, Low Key, and Hair: When the barber wrecks your hair but you low key like it

When the barber wrecks your hair but you low key like it

Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny piggy @DrSmashlove Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Iโ€™m always jealous because I donโ€™t have a twitter so I canโ€™t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and yโ€™all can respond. Imma even help yโ€™all with ya responses ๐Ÿ˜‚. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smashโ€™s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG ๐Ÿ˜‚โค๏ธ. Potential reply No. 1: โ€œeasy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ thatโ€™s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ โ€˜bless up ๐Ÿ˜Šโ€™ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ LOVED ๐Ÿ‘ DOGS ๐Ÿ‘ SO ๐Ÿ‘ MUCH ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ WOULD ๐Ÿ‘ HAVE ๐Ÿ‘ A ๐Ÿ‘ DOG ๐Ÿ‘ LOOKIN ๐Ÿ‘ A$$ ๐Ÿ‘. Wait do he got a dog? ๐Ÿค” PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs ๐Ÿค” aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN ๐Ÿ‘ A$$ ๐Ÿ‘. (Howโ€™d I do? Bless up ๐Ÿ˜‚โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜)
5 Am, Being Alone, and America: This is how I like to wake my good girl. (๐ŸŽฅ: reddit u-din7) Look bruv some of yโ€™all smart like yโ€™all just gon be successful in life on the strength of being hella smart alone. But some of yโ€™all ainโ€™t smart. Actually yโ€™all dumb (low key ๐Ÿ˜‚). But u wanna know some bruv? U CAN STILL ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN LIFE. โ€œSmash wayment. U saying even if Iโ€™m dumb I could kill it in corporate America? How Sway? ๐Ÿค”โ€ Iโ€™m absolutely saying that. I got clients that will take your breath away with they intellect - hell one CEO I work with is a biomedical engineer. He ainโ€™t een have to stunt on em like that! He coulda had a lil state school MBA! Nah. He a PhD in a field that ainโ€™t een applicable! He could be negotiating pricing on a multi million $ agreement and disagree with u and then then heck around and slice ya ear off then make u a substitute synthetic ear in a Petri dish and reattach it like โ€œbam - no love lost - just wanted to biomedically engineer u right quick - this ear is bionic and will let u hear perfectly bless up.โ€ But nah on the other end of the spectrum is executives who are just hella dumb. Couldnโ€™t write an email without typos if they had a gun to they head. But u know what they are, bruv? Always and without fail? EARLY ๐Ÿ˜‚. Dumb people in corporate America early as HELL bruh. U know I love our armed services and got nothing but respect for them bruv but do u know why itโ€™s so many former soldiers - marines - Air Force in corporate America bruv? Not bc they naturally smarter - they just early! If u at ya desk sending email at 7 am bruv u look authoritative. Sharp. U feel me? Dedicated. Hell I got one client she get to work at 6! And another one that get to work at 5. FIVE ๐Ÿ‘ A ๐Ÿ‘ M ๐Ÿ‘. Now look Iโ€™m not saying u HAVE to be at work at 7 am. Iโ€™m just saying if u DO, people will perceive u as a BOSS - even if u literally braindead. U feel me? Trick: I get up to pray early then go back schleep but before I do, I reply to emails from overnight. That way people like โ€œwow he up at 5 am damn.โ€ Nah. Iโ€™m up to email yโ€™all a$$es before snoozing ๐Ÿ˜‚. But if yโ€™all wanna assume then good ๐Ÿ˜Š. Either get to work early or email early (like my dumb a$$) - may God bless all of u in ya careers. Bless up! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚