President Now
President Now

President Now

Ends
Ends

Ends

First Time
First Time

First Time

Disappear
Disappear

Disappear

pitching
pitching

pitching

balancing
 balancing

balancing

pillows
 pillows

pillows

no hair
 no hair

no hair

pray
 pray

pray

in the world
 in the world

in the world

🔥 | Latest

Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car

catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car

Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: An Econ Teacher Gave His Senior Highschool Students His Personal List Of Wisest Words..And They Make A Lot Of Sense. 1 There are plenty of ways to enter a pool The stairs is not one of them 2 Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don't knock it till you try it 4. a stree performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck 5 Always use we when referring to your home 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Don't underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE. 8 lust because you can doesn't mean you should 9. Don't dumb yourself down. 10 You only get one chance to notice new hairout. 11 If you're staying more than one night, unpack 12. Never park in front of a bar 13. Expect the seat in front of you to redine. Prepare 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first cer, and first 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 17 Never lie to your doctor 18 All guns are 19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they know. 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it Even if it's only once. 21 Take and TV once vacation of your cell phone, internet, year 22. Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good. 24 Don't linger in the doorway. in or out 25. If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short. 26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for 27 Never get your haircut the day of a special 28 Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth Ahways buy good shoes, tires and sheets. 29. Never eat unch at your desk If you can avoid it 30. When you're with new friends, don't just tak 31. Eat unch with the new kids 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you No 33. It's never too late for an apology. 34. Don't pose wth boore. It's unbecoming. 5. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT 36. You don't get to choose your own nickname. 37, When you marry someone, remember you marry 39. Under nocrcumstances should you ask ง woman 40. it'snot enough to be proud of your ancestry, ive up to t 41. Don't make a 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet 44. Never glost 46. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It'sa special day for her too 47. When opening presents, no one lices &a good guesver 48. Sympathy Is a crutch Never take ล limp. 49, Give credit, Take biame 50. Suck it up every now and then. 51. Never be the last one in the pool 52. Don't stare. 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm 54. Stand up to bulies, You only have to do it once. 55. fyoul've made your point, stop talking 56. Admit it when you're wrong 7. it you offer to help don't quit until the job is done 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table. 61. Forgive yoursef for your mistakes. 62. Know at least one good joke. 63. Don't boo Even the ref is somebody's son one good meal 65, Leam to drive manual/stick shift. 66. Be cool to yourger kids. Reputations are built over 67. It's okay to po to the movies by yourself 68. Dance with your mother/Tather 69. Don't lose your cool. Especialy at work 0. Always thank the host 71. It you don't understand, ask before it's too late. 72. Know the size of your boyfriend girtriend's 73 There is nothing wrong with a plain t shirt. 74. De a good ästener. Don't just take your turn to 5. eep your word, 76. In colege always sit near the front. You'll stand our immediately and come grade time it will oome in handy. 7. Carry your mother's begs, She carried you for 9 78. Be pacient with arport security. They are just 79. Don't be the talker in a movie. 80. The oppesite svex ikes people who shower. 81. You are what you da. Nat what you say 82. Learn to change tire 83. Be kind Everyone has a hard fight ahead 84. An hour with grandparents is time we spent. Ask for advice when you need it Don't itter 86, tf you have ฮ sister, get to know her 87. You won't always be the strongest or fastest. But you can't be the toughest 89. Duy the orange properties in Monopoly 90. Make the littie things count. 91 92. There is a fine line between loaking suitry and slutty. Find it 93. 94. You're never too old to need your Mom. Ladies, 2 you make the decision to wee hees on the first dste commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kil 96. Your dance moves might not be the best. but i promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime 100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard. epicjohndoe: Wise Words From A Smart Teacher

epicjohndoe: Wise Words From A Smart Teacher

Beautiful, Children, and Future: rreScore hidden 22 hours ago This is one reason why abortion is so important. These people have a child, and can't even provide a stable home, why would you want to force people into this situation for making a mistake? ▼ Reply Share Report Save Give gold Score hidden 19 hours ago ▼ This is one reason why adoption is so important. These people have a child, and can't even provide a stable home. Why would you want to force people into this situation for making a mistake? Reply Share Report Save Give gold AScore hidden 19 hours ago I have to ask, how many children have you adopted? Reply Share Report Save Give gold Score hidden 19 hours ago 3 but the point of my comment isn't anti abortion. I believe the government shouldn't be involved either way. I just wanted to offer a conflicting opinion Reply Share Report Save Give gold Score hidden 18 hours ago Good on you! I'm honestly happy, and appreciative of you. I didn't mean to imply abortion was the only way, or should be a Plan A, just that it should always be there for a last resort. I guess the reason it didn't come across as a conflicting opinion so much as a conflicting belief, is the copying. It felt like mocking. Either way though, I really do appreciate you putting your money where your mouth is so to say. It's too rare in the anti abortion circles Reply Share Report Save Give gold Score hidden 18 hours ago ▼ Heheh. I'm actually totally for the right to have abortions. I just get excited when I think of helping a kid have a future too Reply Share Report Save Give gold Score hidden 18 hours ago It's a beautiful thing, and extraordinarily commendable Reply Share Report Save Give gold An unexpectedly wholesome adoption/abortion argument

An unexpectedly wholesome adoption/abortion argument