He just needs some water. And new talking points.

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theonion:WASHINGTON—Saying the CNN town hall debate had left him sexually aroused in a way he hadn’t experienced since his failed 2016 presidential run, Florida senator Marco Rubio admitted Friday that he was still rock-hard a couple days after being publicly humiliated on the national stage. “Oh, fuck yes, I had forgotten how good it hurts to be degraded on live television for everyone to see,” said Rubio, noting that the Parkland shooting survivors taking him to task for his complicity combined with the booing crowd gave him a raging erection more turgid than the one he had when Chris Christie totally destroyed him during a republican debate two years ago. “It was so intense when those town hall participants asked me to stop accepting donations from the NRA and I just squirmed around like the naughty boy I am. Then when Jake Tapper told everyone to settle down, I just about creamed my pants right there on stage. Mmm, I bet Americans are so disgusted with me. Jesus, I think I’m gonna blow a load.” Rubio added that if the survivors don’t stop roasting on Twitter soon, he would have to visit a doctor for his aching cock.: Marco Rubio Still Rock-Hard Days After Being Publicly Humiliated On National Stage (g theonion:WASHINGTON—Saying the CNN town hall debate had left him sexually aroused in a way he hadn’t experienced since his failed 2016 presidential run, Florida senator Marco Rubio admitted Friday that he was still rock-hard a couple days after being publicly humiliated on the national stage. “Oh, fuck yes, I had forgotten how good it hurts to be degraded on live television for everyone to see,” said Rubio, noting that the Parkland shooting survivors taking him to task for his complicity combined with the booing crowd gave him a raging erection more turgid than the one he had when Chris Christie totally destroyed him during a republican debate two years ago. “It was so intense when those town hall participants asked me to stop accepting donations from the NRA and I just squirmed around like the naughty boy I am. Then when Jake Tapper told everyone to settle down, I just about creamed my pants right there on stage. Mmm, I bet Americans are so disgusted with me. Jesus, I think I’m gonna blow a load.” Rubio added that if the survivors don’t stop roasting on Twitter soon, he would have to visit a doctor for his aching cock.
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<p><a href="http://poorbasil.tumblr.com/post/157293357861/theres-just-so-many-things-going-on-in-the" class="tumblr_blog">poorbasil</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>There’s just so many things going on in the photo:</p> <p>There’s a serious faced Trump standing next to a woman whose husband is a political prisoner yet he’s giving the camera a thumbs </p> <p>There’s Mike Pence with a dead ass face flanking her other side but probably wishing he could be standing closer to Trump</p> <p>There’s an ominous portrait of Andrew Jackson above them </p> <p>And then there’s Marco Rubio striking a model pose and toothy smile and looking Thicc™ but he’s standing so far away from everyone else</p> </blockquote> <p>Please don&rsquo;t ever describe Marco Rubio as &ldquo;Thicc™&rdquo; again because I&rsquo;m having trouble breathing.</p>: <p><a href="http://poorbasil.tumblr.com/post/157293357861/theres-just-so-many-things-going-on-in-the" class="tumblr_blog">poorbasil</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>There’s just so many things going on in the photo:</p> <p>There’s a serious faced Trump standing next to a woman whose husband is a political prisoner yet he’s giving the camera a thumbs </p> <p>There’s Mike Pence with a dead ass face flanking her other side but probably wishing he could be standing closer to Trump</p> <p>There’s an ominous portrait of Andrew Jackson above them </p> <p>And then there’s Marco Rubio striking a model pose and toothy smile and looking Thicc™ but he’s standing so far away from everyone else</p> </blockquote> <p>Please don&rsquo;t ever describe Marco Rubio as &ldquo;Thicc™&rdquo; again because I&rsquo;m having trouble breathing.</p>
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<p><a href="http://jewishpolitics.tumblr.com/post/152923940263/the-real-ted-cruz-nunyabizni-proisrael" class="tumblr_blog">jewishpolitics</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://the-real-ted-cruz.tumblr.com/post/152923208719">the-real-ted-cruz</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/152923044767">nunyabizni</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proisrael.tumblr.com/post/152922754975">proisrael</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><b>Israel Supporter Marco Rubio Wins Re-election in Florida Senate Race - 8 November 2016</b></p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mxpl2NEgMKEt-Ocs3EkmpYA">@the-real-ted-cruz</a>  Your boy did it<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>ITS MAH BOI</p> </blockquote> <p>Tim Scott also won Re-election. There is hope yet. </p></blockquote> <p>Yeah boy yeah. I needed some good news.</p>: <p><a href="http://jewishpolitics.tumblr.com/post/152923940263/the-real-ted-cruz-nunyabizni-proisrael" class="tumblr_blog">jewishpolitics</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://the-real-ted-cruz.tumblr.com/post/152923208719">the-real-ted-cruz</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/152923044767">nunyabizni</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proisrael.tumblr.com/post/152922754975">proisrael</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><b>Israel Supporter Marco Rubio Wins Re-election in Florida Senate Race - 8 November 2016</b></p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mxpl2NEgMKEt-Ocs3EkmpYA">@the-real-ted-cruz</a>  Your boy did it<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>ITS MAH BOI</p> </blockquote> <p>Tim Scott also won Re-election. There is hope yet. </p></blockquote> <p>Yeah boy yeah. I needed some good news.</p>

<p><a href="http://jewishpolitics.tumblr.com/post/152923940263/the-real-ted-cruz-nunyabizni-proisrael" class="tumblr_blog">jewishpolitics...

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