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The Risk I Took Was Calculated But Man Am I Bad At Math
The Risk I Took Was Calculated But Man Am I Bad At Math

The Risk I Took Was Calculated But Man Am I Bad At Math

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Bad, Doctor, and Funny: "We all know you are faking being sick to avoid the class" Funny Popcorn This happened to me while i was in elementary school. Our mrs. math teacher really hated my guts for no reason really. She would always find an axcuse to lower my grades or blame me for something i didn't do. I was a pretty sick kid that had bad astma, dermatitis and was sickish in general. Thinking back, I think her hating me had a lot to do with that, as she felt i had "special treatment and privileges" One day we were doing a test and i started feeling very bad. It came to the point of really needing to puke but i held it in because i knew she wouldn't believe me. Theni started shaking and kinda puked a bit in my mouth so i stood up and started to go towards the toilet (we had a rule that anybody who has to go to the toilet can do so without asking) She ofcourse stopped me and told me to sit back down. I tried explaining but she wouldn't have it. One girl stood up to me and said something like "he is really pale and shaking and sweating, i think he needs to go home". That caused the teacher to go on a 5 minute rant how i'm a spoiled liar who didn't study for the test and now i'm trying to fool everybody and that i'm taking away their precious test time and they should hate me for that" I said i really need to puke and she just scoffed saying "You ain't going anywhere with your lies so you might as well do your imaginary puking here'". Yeah... You can guess what happened next. Not sure if this is compliance because i couldn't hold it in anymore anyway but i was so happy while doing it. First i puked a bit trough my arm and then it all went out. Across her desk (grading book was ruined) and all over the floor. She tried to blame me saying that i "threw up by force" but the principle didn't buy it after the doctor examined me. Nothing special happened to her but she never bothered me again. Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all over the classroom

Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all ov...

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference