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Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
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Disney, Family, and Girls: Megan Greenwell @megreenwell after seeing 'get out' in a very white crowd, all of us cheering wildly for chris, i keep remembering this, from elif batuman's 'the idiot. recognize it and laugh. I found myself remembering the day in kindergarten whe the teachers showed us Dumbo: a Disney movie about a puny, weind looking circus elephant that everyone made fun of. As the story u- folded, I realized to my amazement that all the kids in the class, even the bullies, the ones who despised and tormented the weak and the ugly, were rooting against Dumbo's tormentors. Over and over thry laughed and cheered, both when Dumbo succeeded and when biu things happened to the bullies. But they're you, I thought to myel. How did they not know? They didn't know. It was astounding, im astounding truth. Everyone thougbt they were Dumbo. Again and again I saw the phenomenon repeated. The mosta trary and tyrannical girls, the ones who started secret clubs to ostr youstillhateblacktranswomen: feamir: ithelpstodream: bringing this one back When I went to see Tangled with my family, I was terrified of having to talk about the movie afterwards because I related so much to Rapunzel, and I was sure my mom would hate the movie because it was so obvious that she was exactly like mother gothel. So when mom asked me afterwards if I liked it I gave a tepid non-answer. But then my mom started talking about how she loved the movie! And it slowly dawned on me that she also saw mother gothel as evil and abusive, but somehow didn’t make the connection that she and her were the same. My mom even made a comment to the effect of how, like rapunzel’s real mom, her love for me would always triumph or whatever. And she didn’t get it! She didn’t see the similarities of how she locked me away in the house, or how she kept me under the tightest supervision under the guise of keeping me safe. I spent the entire mother knows best song stealing glances at her next to me in the theater just waiting for her to drag us out of the movie because she couldn’t stand to have her “love” portrayed as evil. And she didn’t see how the fact that she created her identity completely around being a mother and nothing else was like mother gothel’s dependency on rapunzel’s magic hair. It was only after seeing her positive reaction to the movie, that I really understood the meaning of the phrase “everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil. “everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil.

youstillhateblacktranswomen: feamir: ithelpstodream: bringing this one back When I went to see Tangled with my family, I was terrified of...

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Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw Fucking Outside her House, ao3tagoftheday: oxymoronicromantic: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor “On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?” 7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.” …I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong???? Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier. Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?
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Disney, Family, and Girls: Megan Greenwell @megreenwell after seeing 'get out' in a very white crowd, all of us cheering wildly for chris, i keep remembering this, from elif batuman's 'the idiot. recognize it and laugh. I found myself remembering the day in kindergarten whe the teachers showed us Dumbo: a Disney movie about a puny, weind looking circus elephant that everyone made fun of. As the story u- folded, I realized to my amazement that all the kids in the class, even the bullies, the ones who despised and tormented the weak and the ugly, were rooting against Dumbo's tormentors. Over and over thry laughed and cheered, both when Dumbo succeeded and when biu things happened to the bullies. But they're you, I thought to myel. How did they not know? They didn't know. It was astounding, im astounding truth. Everyone thougbt they were Dumbo. Again and again I saw the phenomenon repeated. The mosta trary and tyrannical girls, the ones who started secret clubs to ostr youstillhateblacktranswomen: feamir: ithelpstodream: bringing this one back When I went to see Tangled with my family, I was terrified of having to talk about the movie afterwards because I related so much to Rapunzel, and I was sure my mom would hate the movie because it was so obvious that she was exactly like mother gothel. So when mom asked me afterwards if I liked it I gave a tepid non-answer. But then my mom started talking about how she loved the movie! And it slowly dawned on me that she also saw mother gothel as evil and abusive, but somehow didn’t make the connection that she and her were the same. My mom even made a comment to the effect of how, like rapunzel’s real mom, her love for me would always triumph or whatever. And she didn’t get it! She didn’t see the similarities of how she locked me away in the house, or how she kept me under the tightest supervision under the guise of keeping me safe. I spent the entire mother knows best song stealing glances at her next to me in the theater just waiting for her to drag us out of the movie because she couldn’t stand to have her “love” portrayed as evil. And she didn’t see how the fact that she created her identity completely around being a mother and nothing else was like mother gothel’s dependency on rapunzel’s magic hair. It was only after seeing her positive reaction to the movie, that I really understood the meaning of the phrase “everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil. “everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil.

youstillhateblacktranswomen: feamir: ithelpstodream: bringing this one back When I went to see Tangled with my family, I was terrified o...

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Anime, God, and Head: English tests in 30 years, "QUESTION 5: What is the meaning of this meme?" wuackamole: icoree: unexpectedones: drowningxlessons: I literally heard the sentence in my head and it’s proof positive that this has evolved into its own language This meme primarily refers to the movie Toy Story, in which the toy cowboy, Woody, has a soundbox that sometimes says, “There’s a snake in my boot,” when the string on his back is pulled. The meme is from an anime and with no edits, the image shows a boy gesturing to a butterfly with a caption reading, “Is this a pigeon?”. It is commonly overlaid with other words or images in order to denote a change in who is speaking, what the speaker thinks the object they are gesturing at may be, and what the object actually is. This particular version of the meme, however, the image at the bottom, where the caption would normally be located, is another meme commonly known by the contemporary meme-makers and -viewers as the “free real estate” meme, due to the phrase the man uses in the advertisement from which the meme originates: “It’s free real estate.” Putting all these broken-down aspects of the meme together, we can translate the meme into written words. The snake gestures to the cowboy boots and thinks, “Is this free real estate?” noting its cluelessness in regards to the fact that it likely should not slither into Woody the cowboy’s boot. you’re a god I couldn’t put this into words but I understand perfectly

wuackamole: icoree: unexpectedones: drowningxlessons: I literally heard the sentence in my head and it’s proof positive that this has ev...

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