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Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
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Bad, Children, and Creepy: Black Aziz aNANsi @Freeyourmindkid 1. When the rise of Nazism happened, Nazis were not all 6 foot tall super soldiers who carried quns They were the nice old lady next door, the house mother who plays with her kids, the store clerk who would give you free stuff, etc. Black Aziz aNANsi @Freeyourmindkid 2. During the civil rights movement of the 60's, it wasn't always creepy looking middle age white men who were going around and trying to intimidate and cause violence to black people. There were many everyday men women and children involved, some of who could be your parents. TO SCHOOL " WİTH NEGRO AGKins oChTo SCHOOL WTH NEGROES egroe Black Aziz aNANsi@Freeyo... 17h Replying to @Freeyourmindkid 3. And I'm just going to tell y'all, in the day and age that we are living in, it's not just a few bad apples who are responsible for the violence and hatred that we are seeing from the Trump crowd. It's literally everyone, because Trumps whole ideaology is base on othering ロ391 Black Aziz aNANsi@Freeyo... 17h 4. People and keeping them in a position or powerlessness through control and violence. I'm going to tell y'all right now, some of you may think that you have a friend whose only shitty quality is that they support Trump, but Im going to tell you right now, many Jewish people t1 238 1.1K 4 Black Aziz aNANsi@Freeyo... 17h 5. Had friends who turned them over to the German government because they cared more about othering Jewish folks than their friends. Many black folks who thought that they had a white friend or too would go out to protest back in the day only to see the snarling faces of thei 4 t 246 1K Black Aziz aNANsi@Freeyo... 17h 6. "Friends" in an angry white mob as it descends upon and beats black protesters. And I am guarantee you, that many of your "friends" would not hesitate to have you or somebody that you care about sent back to your county or origin, fired because they assume that you got your 4 ta 243 1K Black Aziz aNANsi@Freeyo... 17h 7. Job through affirmative action or have your reproductive rights taken away because they feel like they feel like what a woman wants to do with her body should be determined by bunch of old white men. I'm telling y'all right now, we are living in the same world that has breeded tl 221 979 Black Aziz aNANsi@Freeyo... 17h 8. Many of an ethnic cleansing and genocide. mean hell, we are already going through ethnic cleansing if you want to count Trump's immigration reforms and mass deportation. But what I'm telling y'all is to stay woke. You can't compromise with these people a nd there is no 243 O 11K Black Aziz aNANsi @Freeyourmindkid 9. Middle ground that can be reached when an ideaologv is base on hegemony and hate. There can be no compromise with evil, the only thing we can do is try to defeat this ideaology & make sure future generations view this ideaology the same way which segregation & Nazism is viewed Buila the BUILD QUM WAL I9 s OK N CE a NAZI.CAN YO SLAM SUCK'S
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Hockey, Minecraft, and Revenge: So, my daughter, who was about 8 at the time, was REALLY Minecraft (as most kids are these days). Also desperately into wanting to join the Youtube/Let's Play culture, l had installed some screen recording software that would let her make videos of the games she was playing so she could later upload them to Youtube Anyways, one day I'm minding my own business when l hear her quietly sniffling over on the computer. asked her what was wrong, but she didn't want to tell me so I let it go, but decided to keep on eye on her. A few minutes later l discovered what was happening, someone was harassing not only her, but also all the other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits Immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info; it was literally firstname.lastname. I know your name now you little shit So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS: he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info, it was literally firstname.lastname. l know your name now you little shit So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until I find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT So I sent him a message on Facebook, asking if he had a son named firstname who goes by his username on Minecraft. Dad confirmed had the right guy. So my wife begins telling the dad everything that LS was saying to my daughter, and we sent him the recorded video as proof. Radio silence for a few days Then we got the message back: LS had his computer taken away from him for the entire summer, and had also been lying about his age (he was only 11, I think). His parents were fucking livid with him, and he surely hated the next few months of his life No one fucks with my daughter edit: spelling op stalks kid and gets revenge
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