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College, Disneyland, and Fake: Service Dogs take on Disneyland See bruh when u out here dating, it's two type of crazy people. It's like medicine. The first is immediate-release tablets. Like Alka Seltzer - that shit that your grandpa drops in water and it fizzes and you just like "grandpa what that do" and he like "EVERATHANG SON IT CURE EVRATHANG." Anyway some people show their cray early. They can't even make it thru a first date. Ol boy will meet you at the bar and he ask the female bartender for a Moscow Mule and she hand it to him and he take a sip like "UGH. YOU CALL THIS A MULE. WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU LEARN TO MAKE MIXED DRINKS." He think he showing how fancy his cocktail knowledge is. Meanwhile u looking at bartender mouthing the words *whisper voice* "I am SO sorry...I don't know this man...I literally" and u make the swiping motion and she swipe her hand too like "I swiped him last week, I know, he looked promising πŸ˜•" and y'all commiserating over the fact that neither of u will ever bang this miserable human. U feel me? But nah. For some of y'all, the cray is a delayed release tablet πŸ˜‚. Some of u ladies bruh y'all will hide their cray thru a whole presidency. Like u gon date a girl this week and she gon be totally normal thru eight years of President Trump and then when President Leo DiCaprio get elected she gon wet the bed. She hid it for eight years but now y'all married and got a kid and u wake up in a pool of pee and u like "Beth? You wet the fucking bed?" And Beth just like "I have nightmares about the man I dated in college and pee myself if I drank too much the night before oh now you're gonna judge me Shrimp Dick go right ahead I FAKED IT. FOR EIGHT YEARS. YOU'RE AWFUL. I DON'T EVEN LOVE YOU." And it dawns on u bruh. She been acting. Like a black man in a white wig in the play "Hamilton". For EIGHT YEARS. Straight thesbian status. Damn near a decade of deception. But u know what bruh? Some of u men childish and if women were totally transparent y'all would run for the hills on the first date. If u fuck with someone u gotta accept the baggage. If she pee the bed be a G about it. And if he don't accept u Beth come holla at smash. Girls with weak bladders are the ultimate freaks πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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