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Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food. By Blossom The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.  I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen. We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god? I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up. Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana. Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours. Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar. Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy… “Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily. Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.) Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.” There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason. Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk. Just use superglue. “Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”: This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say: “Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,” what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things. But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike… Hot coals and peanut butter This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start. Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen. You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure. Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive? I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal. But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this. Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing. @ohnofixit I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong. Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 
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7/11, Guns, and Juvenile: "But he was such a good He didn't have a gun www.UncleSamsMisguidedChildren.com Picture of Alton Sterling with his kids. His criminal record : But Alton was such a good guy... Never did nuffin, except: And here is his CQH: 9-09-96 aggravated battery 10-31-97 2nd degree battery 1-06-98 simple battery 5-04-00 public intimidation 9-20-00 carnal knowledge of a juvenile 9-04-01 domestic violence 5-24-05 burglary of an inhabited dwelling place 7-11-05 receiving stolen things 9-12-05 burglary of inhabited dwelling place 3-17-06 simple criminal damage to property, simple robbery, simple theft, drug possession, misrepresentation during booking, simple battery, aggravated battery 4-12-06 aggravated battery, simple criminal damage to property, disturbing the peace, unauthorized entry 4-04-08 domestic abuse battery 6-03-09 resisting an officer, drug possession, receiving stolen things, possession of stolen firearm, illegal carrying of a weapon with CDs, sound reproduct without consent 10-12-09 illegal carrying of weapon, marijuana possession 8-13-15 failure to register as a sex offender 4-08-16 failure to register as a sex offender 6-14-16 ecstacy and marijuana possession unclesamsmisguidedchildren nra molonlabe conservative secondamendment 2a constitution militia military veterans 2Amendment TrumpTrain DonaldTrump trump2016 HillaryClinton USMC GunPorn capitalism TacticalLife USMCLife GRUNTLife HillaryForPrison Blueline Guns ZeroFucks MakeAmericaGreatAgain 03Life Veteran BlueLivesMatter Benghazi2012
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Bailey Jay, Child Support, and Children: Receives over $1,200/mo in public assistance (Welfare, Food-stamps, & Medicaid) . She has Four children by Four different men and None of them pay her any child-support . She's been on public assistance for 12 years Despite being in perfect health and capable of working, she has NO desire to find a JOB because "The Government gives me money" .Has sold her Food Stamps for "Free Money" She intends to become pregnant again, so that she can receive MORE WELFARE MONEY Kiara Welfare Recipient Pays No TAXES When asked, she believes that she is entitled to Government Money aka YOUR TAX DOLLARS! And now thanks to obamacare, your premiums will go up so she can have her free healthcare.k <p><a href="http://gop-tea-pub.tumblr.com/post/103257954512/indiejustice-americas-liberty-gop-tea-pub" class="tumblr_blog">gop-tea-pub</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://indiejustice.tumblr.com/post/103253427027/americas-liberty-gop-tea-pub">indiejustice</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://americas-liberty.tumblr.com/post/103247383654/gop-tea-pub-http-toprightnews-com-p-7268">americas-liberty</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gop-tea-pub.tumblr.com/post/103245097037/http-toprightnews-com-p-7268">gop-tea-pub</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://toprightnews.com/?p=7268">http://toprightnews.com/?p=7268</a></p> </blockquote> <p>Sadly, there are quite a few people like this. Not saying it’s he majority, but it’s a good chunk.</p> </blockquote> <p>Please, you don’t have the facts and figure to back up the “good chunk” so don’t spew that shit. I don’t mind the stuff about working hard and making money, I could care less, I’ll even support that, but this shit? Welfare recipients are people too, and you don’t understand their challenges. How about we stop funneling tons of money into prisons before we go after single moms and kids?</p> </blockquote> <p>Well let’s see shall we? 46 million in the US are on some sort of welfare. 8.7% are in the fraud category. So I would safely say that 4 MILLION is a good chunk. Care to dispute that now?</p> <h2>WELFARE FRAUD</h2> <p><span class="imgPusher"></span><span><a><img alt="Picture" class="wsite-image galleryImageBorder" src="http://federalsafetynet.com/uploads/2/8/4/4/2844290/8051748.jpg?213"/></a></span></p> <div class="paragraph">Improper welfare payments, including fraud, are estimated to be about 8.7% of all federal welfare payments made and exceeded $50 billion in fiscal year 2012.  This estimate is based on reports from the Office of Budget and Management (OBM)<a title="">[i]</a>, The General Accounting Office<a title="">[ii]</a>, and other federal agencies.   Improper payments were estimated from each of the 13 individual welfare programs (<a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/safety-net-programs.html" title="">see Safety Net Page</a>) and the Medicaid Program (health care).  <br/><span></span><br/><span></span><strong> What are improper payments?</strong> <br/>Improper payments are described this way by the OBM:  “ ‘Improper payments’ occur when:<br/><ul><li><span>funds go to the wrong recipient;</span></li> <li><span>the right recipient receives the incorrect amount of funds (including over payments and underpayments);</span></li> <li><span>documentation is not available to support a payment; or</span></li> <li><span>the recipient uses funds in an improper manner.</span></li> </ul> Although not all improper payments are fraud, and not all improper payments represent a loss to the government, all improper payments degrade the integrity of government programs and compromise citizens’ trust in government.”<br/><span></span><br/><strong>Where do estimates for improper payments come from?</strong><br/>Improper Payments are required to be reported by federal agencies under a 2002 statute that was amended in 2010<a title="">[iii]</a>.  The OMB website describes the process as follows: “For all federal programs identified as risk-susceptible, the responsible federal agencies obtain a statistically valid estimate of the annual amount of improper payments in those programs.”<br/><span></span><br/><span></span><strong> Improper Payments by program</strong><br/>The table below shows the estimated improper payments by program in billions of dollars.  The table was calculated by taking the most recent improper payments data by welfare program and applying it to total expenditures for fiscal year 2012.  This gives an approximation of the overall improper payments from the welfare system in whole.  <br/><br/></div> <hr> <div> <div class="wsite-image wsite-image-border-none "><a> <img alt="Picture" src="http://federalsafetynet.com/uploads/2/8/4/4/2844290/3357834.gif?651"/></a></div> </div> <p><br/><br/><strong>Descriptions by program</strong><br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/negative-income-tax.html" title="">Negative income tax</a> – Negative income tax is made up of the refundable portion of the EITC and Child Tax credits.  OMB estimates that ETIC has a 22.7% improper payment rate for 2012.  Child Tax Credit is not reported but is considered to have similar error rates<a title="">[iv]</a>.  OMB describes the errors as such: “A number of factors unique to the EITC program trigger errors.  The complexity of the law contributes to confusion around eligibility requirements, mainly qualifying child relationship and residency rules.  Other factors include high program turnover of one-third annually, return preparer errors, and fraud.”<br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/snap.html" title="">Snap </a><br/>OMB estimates a 3.8% improper payment rate for 2012.  GAO describes the errors as follows:  “Incomplete or inaccurate reporting of income by participant and incorrect eligibility determination by Caseworkers.”<br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/housing-assistance.html" title="">Housing assistance</a><br/>OMB estimates a 3.9% error rate on all rental housing assistance programs.  This makes up the bulk of housing assistance welfare and the error rate was therefore used for all housing assistance.  OMB describes the errors as follows: “The three major components of potential errors and improper payments in these complex programs are:  </p> <ul><li><span>Program administrator error – the program administrator’s failure to properly determine income, rent, and subsidy levels;</span></li> <li><span>Tenant income reporting error – the beneficiary’s failure to properly disclose all income sources and amounts upon which subsidies are determined; and</span></li> <li><span>Billing error – errors in the billing and payments between third party program administrators and/or housing providers and HUD.”</span></li> </ul><p><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/ssi.html" title="">SSI</a><br/>OMB estimates a 9.2% improper payment rate for 2012 and describes the errors as follows:  “Payment accuracy reviews show that the leading causes of program overpayments are failure to inform SSA of the existence of financial accounts or increases in the balances in financial accounts and failure to inform SSA of the correct earnings amounts from work.”<br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/pell-grants.html" title="">Pell Grants </a><br/>OMB estimates a 2.5% improper payment rate for 2012 and describes the errors as follows: “The major root causes of improper payments in the Pell Grant Program are incorrect self-reporting of an applicant’s income which leads to incorrect awards based on Expected Family Contribution (EFC); incorrect processing of student data by institutions during normal operations; student account data changes not applied or processed correctly; ineligibility for a Pell Grant (e.g., validity of high school attended, history of degrees obtained); satisfactory academic progress not achieved; and incorrectly calculated return records by institutions returning Title IV student aid funds.”<br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/tanf.html" title="">TSNF</a><br/>The Health and Human Services Agency has not estimated TANF improper payments because the program is administered by the various states that distribute federal funds and the states have not performed improper payment reviews.  A 15% estimate was used for purposes of estimating total welfare improper payments.  Improper payments are most likely above 15% based on the complexities off the program and a review of available performance data including two reviews shown below:  </p> <ul><li><span>In FY 2007 <a href="http://www.hhs.gov/asl/testify/2008/01/t20080130a.html" title="">HHS conducted a pilot review</a> of TANF cash assistance payments in three states.  The error rates for the pilots ranged from 11.5% to 40%.  </span></li> <li><span>An <a href="http://oig.hhs.gov/oas/reports/region4/40703520.htm" title="">inspector general’s report </a>of Ohio TANF payments in 2007 found a 21.1% improper payment rate.</span></li> </ul><p><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/child-nutrition.html" title="">Child Nutrition </a><br/>Child Nutrition is made up of the school lunch, breakfast and after school food programs.  GAO estimates that in 2011 the school lunch program had a 16% improper payment rate and the school breakfast program had a 25% improper payment rate.  Based on these rates an 18% overall child nutrition improper payment rate was used for purposes of estimating total welfare improper payments. The GAO describes the errors as follows:  school lunch – “Verification errors related to benefit calculation error, duplicate payments, insufficient documentation, and fraud or misrepresentation by program participants or others”.  School breakfast – “Authentication and administrative errors, including authenticating the accuracy of qualifying for program specific requirements, criteria, or conditions.”<br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/head-start-and-child-care.html" title="">Headstart </a><br/>GAO reports a 1.7% improper payment rate for 2010.  <br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/job-training.html" title="">Job training </a><br/>No data is available for the multitude of programs that make up job training.  A 1% figure was used as a conservative estimate.  <br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/wic.html" title="">WIC </a><br/>GAO reports a 1.2% improper payment rate for 2010.  <br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/head-start-and-child-care.html" title="">Child Care </a><br/>GAO reports a 13.3% improper payment rate for 2010.  <br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/liheap.html" title="">LIHEAP</a><br/>A full improper payment report has not been issued by the Health and Human Services Agency regarding LIHEAP.  GAO reports up to 9% of LIHEAP payments had problems associated with them, in a review of payments made in 7 states<a title="">[v]</a>.  Some of the errors were simple omissions but some were as severe as fraud.  A 5% estimate was used for purposes of estimating total welfare improper payments. <br/><br/><a href="http://federalsafetynet.com/lifeline-obama-phone.html" title="">Lifeline </a><br/>An improper payment report has not been issued by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) regarding the lifeline program.  The program is very complex and is administered by telecommunication companies.  Up to 41% of payments were problematic as reported by the <a href="http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424127887323511804578296001368122888" title="">Wall Street Journal</a>:  “A review of five top recipients of Lifeline support conducted by the FCC for the Journal showed that 41% of their more than six million subscribers either couldn’t demonstrate their eligibility or didn’t respond to requests for certification.”  A 20% estimate was used for purposes of estimating total welfare improper payments. <br/><br/>Medicaid<br/>OMB estimates a 7.1% improper payment rate for 2012.  GAO describes the errors as follows:  “The majority of the FY 2012 errors were a result of cases reviewed for eligibility that were either not eligible or their eligibility status could not be determined, thus they were considered errors.  The most common cause of cases in error for the Medicaid FFS medical review was insufficient documentation.”</p></blockquote> <p>You got schooled, son.</p>
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