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fireyourowncannons: hanitje: Harry and Meghan Decides To Leave The Monarch I don’t give a flying elephant shit about the monarchy obviously but I didn’t have an opinion on this whole “crisis” until I learned just what the fuck people have been saying about Meghan and how vile some of the comments have been and you know what? Good for them. His comment above is about the most cutting thing I think he could say to the troglodytes saying awful shit about his wife. The boy has seen it before. Royal blood or not his mother was killed by the same sort of press obsession. I respect his decision to leave despite the fact no matter what he will absolutely be still well cared for and pampered. Wealthy or not, I have to give kudos for someone who stands up for those he cares about over bloodlines. Fuck the racists and the elitists and everyone in his family who’s been letting it happen and not saying a thing. : fireyourowncannons: hanitje: Harry and Meghan Decides To Leave The Monarch I don’t give a flying elephant shit about the monarchy obviously but I didn’t have an opinion on this whole “crisis” until I learned just what the fuck people have been saying about Meghan and how vile some of the comments have been and you know what? Good for them. His comment above is about the most cutting thing I think he could say to the troglodytes saying awful shit about his wife. The boy has seen it before. Royal blood or not his mother was killed by the same sort of press obsession. I respect his decision to leave despite the fact no matter what he will absolutely be still well cared for and pampered. Wealthy or not, I have to give kudos for someone who stands up for those he cares about over bloodlines. Fuck the racists and the elitists and everyone in his family who’s been letting it happen and not saying a thing.
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armsnotsigns: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: libertarirynn: rook-the-catechumen: hzs-modblog: rook-the-catechumen: gahdamnpunk: This is messed up Eh, monarchies are more stable governments anyways. That is the wrong response, mister! I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the literal multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind. You can take your few hundred years of a democratic-republic system of elected officials that always begins with a mountain of bodies and always ends in plutocracy, societal decay, the rich being in charge anyways, and another mountain of bodies. Monarchists get thrown into the harbor…if they’re lucky “multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind”  Fucking when? Oh my this man is fuckin the cybersmith in disguise isn’t he? Aye you can’t fool me warlock I know your stench! That’s not to say I’m defending the authoritarian cancer of Republican Democracy, but fucking what Monarchy served mankind peacefully? Even if we pretend it was a fictional Biblical monarchy led by Yahweh himself, he is very specifically not peaceful and makes it very clear in “his” own book. Just so we’re clear you know I was talking about the loon above not you, right? I know, I’m just reacting to him more. Sorry for confusion. Holy fucking wow “I mean sure in Saudi Arabia you can be fucking stoned to death for saying the wrong words or wearing the wrong clothes but like it’s stable y’know?”: G-Wiz @gwheele 1 Follow The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO boxes. Only residents with street addresses can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off voting rights to Native Americans in ND. The Supreme Court just made it harder for the Democrats to win the Senate A new ruling will prevent many Native Anericans in the state from voting motherjones.com 3:38 PM-9 Oct 2018 10,286 Retweets 8,321 Likes Follow @lilnativeboy Native Americans were the LAST to get the right to vote & now we are the first to lose it G-WİZ @gwheelel The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO boxes. Only residents with street addresses can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off voting rights to Native Americans in ND. motherjones.com/politics/2018... 12:35 AM-11 Oct 2018 5,610 Retweets9.715 Likes armsnotsigns: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: libertarirynn: rook-the-catechumen: hzs-modblog: rook-the-catechumen: gahdamnpunk: This is messed up Eh, monarchies are more stable governments anyways. That is the wrong response, mister! I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the literal multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind. You can take your few hundred years of a democratic-republic system of elected officials that always begins with a mountain of bodies and always ends in plutocracy, societal decay, the rich being in charge anyways, and another mountain of bodies. Monarchists get thrown into the harbor…if they’re lucky “multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind”  Fucking when? Oh my this man is fuckin the cybersmith in disguise isn’t he? Aye you can’t fool me warlock I know your stench! That’s not to say I’m defending the authoritarian cancer of Republican Democracy, but fucking what Monarchy served mankind peacefully? Even if we pretend it was a fictional Biblical monarchy led by Yahweh himself, he is very specifically not peaceful and makes it very clear in “his” own book. Just so we’re clear you know I was talking about the loon above not you, right? I know, I’m just reacting to him more. Sorry for confusion. Holy fucking wow “I mean sure in Saudi Arabia you can be fucking stoned to death for saying the wrong words or wearing the wrong clothes but like it’s stable y’know?”
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rook-the-catechumen: hzs-modblog: rook-the-catechumen: gahdamnpunk: This is messed up Eh, monarchies are more stable governments anyways. That is the wrong response, mister! I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the literal multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind.You can take your few hundred years of a democratic-republic system of elected officials that always begins with a mountain of bodies and always ends in plutocracy, societal decay, the rich being in charge anyways, and another mountain of bodies. : G-Wiz @gwheele 1 Follow The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO boxes. Only residents with street addresses can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off voting rights to Native Americans in ND. The Supreme Court just made it harder for the Democrats to win the Senate A new ruling will prevent many Native Anericans in the state from voting motherjones.com 3:38 PM-9 Oct 2018 10,286 Retweets 8,321 Likes Follow @lilnativeboy Native Americans were the LAST to get the right to vote & now we are the first to lose it G-WİZ @gwheelel The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO boxes. Only residents with street addresses can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off voting rights to Native Americans in ND. motherjones.com/politics/2018... 12:35 AM-11 Oct 2018 5,610 Retweets9.715 Likes rook-the-catechumen: hzs-modblog: rook-the-catechumen: gahdamnpunk: This is messed up Eh, monarchies are more stable governments anyways. That is the wrong response, mister! I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the literal multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind.You can take your few hundred years of a democratic-republic system of elected officials that always begins with a mountain of bodies and always ends in plutocracy, societal decay, the rich being in charge anyways, and another mountain of bodies.

rook-the-catechumen: hzs-modblog: rook-the-catechumen: gahdamnpunk: This is messed up Eh, monarchies are more stable governments anyw...

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profeminist: “Happy Birthday Queen Lili'uokalani! The last sovereign of the Kalākaua dynasty, Queen Lili'uokalani was the first woman to ever rule Hawaii. She organized schools for Hawaii’s youth and composed over 160 songs. Her work “Aloha Oe” eventually became Hawaii’s national anthem.”   - Alice Paul Institute  “Liliʻuokalani ascended to the throne on January 29, 1891, nine days after her brother’s death. During her reign, she attempted to draft a new constitution which would restore the power of the monarchy and the voting rights of the economically disenfranchised. Threatened by her attempts to abrogate the Bayonet Constitution, pro-American elements in Hawaiʻi overthrew the monarchy on January 17, 1893. The overthrow was bolstered by the landing of US Marines under John L. Stevens to protect American interests, which rendered the monarchy unable to protect itself. The coup d'état established the Republic of Hawaiʻi, but the ultimate goal was the annexation of the islands to the United States, which was temporarily blocked by President Grover Cleveland. After an unsuccessful uprising to restore the monarchy, the oligarchical government placed the former queen under house arrest at the ʻIolani Palace. On January 24, 1895, Liliʻuokalani was forced to abdicate the Hawaiian throne, officially ending the deposed monarchy. Attempts were made to restore the monarchy and oppose annexation, but with the outbreak of the Spanish–American War, the United States annexed Hawaiʻi. Living out the remainder of her later life as a private citizen, Liliʻuokalani died at her residence, Washington Place, in Honolulu on November 11, 1917.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lili%CA%BBuokalani : HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN LILI'UOKALANI! profeminist: “Happy Birthday Queen Lili'uokalani! The last sovereign of the Kalākaua dynasty, Queen Lili'uokalani was the first woman to ever rule Hawaii. She organized schools for Hawaii’s youth and composed over 160 songs. Her work “Aloha Oe” eventually became Hawaii’s national anthem.”   - Alice Paul Institute  “Liliʻuokalani ascended to the throne on January 29, 1891, nine days after her brother’s death. During her reign, she attempted to draft a new constitution which would restore the power of the monarchy and the voting rights of the economically disenfranchised. Threatened by her attempts to abrogate the Bayonet Constitution, pro-American elements in Hawaiʻi overthrew the monarchy on January 17, 1893. The overthrow was bolstered by the landing of US Marines under John L. Stevens to protect American interests, which rendered the monarchy unable to protect itself. The coup d'état established the Republic of Hawaiʻi, but the ultimate goal was the annexation of the islands to the United States, which was temporarily blocked by President Grover Cleveland. After an unsuccessful uprising to restore the monarchy, the oligarchical government placed the former queen under house arrest at the ʻIolani Palace. On January 24, 1895, Liliʻuokalani was forced to abdicate the Hawaiian throne, officially ending the deposed monarchy. Attempts were made to restore the monarchy and oppose annexation, but with the outbreak of the Spanish–American War, the United States annexed Hawaiʻi. Living out the remainder of her later life as a private citizen, Liliʻuokalani died at her residence, Washington Place, in Honolulu on November 11, 1917.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lili%CA%BBuokalani

profeminist: “Happy Birthday Queen Lili'uokalani! The last sovereign of the Kalākaua dynasty, Queen Lili'uokalani was the first woman to...

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queeranarchism: queerautism: queeranarchism: love-geofffree: designatedheckingadult: queeranarchism: LOL NOPE Europe is racist as fuck. Europe has armed gaurds and high fences on its borders. Europe makes it illegal to rescue refugees at sea. Europe locks up refugee children. Europe has killer cops that shoot teenagers of color. Europe is full of fascist politicians nostalgically fantasizing about ethnic cleansing. Not a day goes by without attacks on Muslims. Fuck Europe. Can confirm. The problem with England (I can’t talk for the rest of Europe) is that our racism and our xenophobia and all our bigoted views manifest in a different way then America, and we use this to claim that it doesn’t exist, even when our country is built on it. We are taught that the British empire was a good thing, and pretty much no one here knows anything about colionisation and our role in most current world problems. But the amount of times that I’ve tried to talk about any issue within England and been shut down with the claim “well we’re not as bad as America”. That’s why the trump protests were so important. We are constantly looking to America to justify our own bigotry. We’ll call America out on their unjust wars, and ignore the fact our own army and government was supporting them. Listen, I like my country- I like that we have a rich history (not that I support it, but heck, everyone likes learning about the Roman Empire, doesn’t mean they think it’s a good thing), I like that we have countrysides and big diverse towns like London, I like that we love fish and chips and curry sauce, I love our old pubs and traditional pub food, I like that we have the NHS (though I dislike how it’s run), I like our sense of dry gallows humour, I like our film and tv industry, I love our history of theatre, I love our myths and legends. But god damn are we historically an awful country, and have we ever tried to make reparations? Our actions are still affecting other countries and ruining life. I don’t like the empire, I don’t like what the monarchy stands for, I don’t like our politicians that spew bigotry and hate, I don’t like our press which are like vultures, I don’t like the power the BBC has to cover-up actual sexual abuse and rape, I hate Katie Hopkins and that she has any platform to spew her hate, I hate Brexit and that it was founded on hate, I hate how we think our lives are more valuable than that of refuges or immigrants, I hate that we don’t think that we are directly or indirectly responsible for a lot of the refugees and asylum seekers that exist today, I hate that we have a system that is actively leading to the deaths of disabled people and that even when investigated by the UN and told to change because we were violating human rights we refused, I hate how we support America’s bigotry and then use their country as a shield when accused of our own bigotry. I hate that we, as a country, are incapable of accepting responsibility and making amends for our terrible actions. Incredibly well put. One of the tricky things is that every European country has their own fictional self image which it keeps repeating to convince itself it’s not a bigoted shithole. In the UK it’s very much focused on being better than the US, being civilized and polite and stylish, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. In the Netherlands it’s focused on being ‘tolerant’ and gay-friendly and having semi-legal weed, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  In Germany it’s focused on having ‘learned from the second world war’ and being ‘better now, while . . ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. And so on.. every European country considers itself either an underdog or a pioneer or a peak of civilization or small and quirky and of course they all consider themselves so much better than the US while doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  https://metro.co.uk/2016/10/27/man-severely-beaten-after-being-told-to-speak-f-english-speaks-out-6218523/ I still remember exactly how it felt to read about this man being brutally asssulted, HIT ON THE FACE WITH A PLANK OF WOOD, in London, a city I lived next to and visited all the time, simple because he was speaking my native language in public. I remember breaking down sobbing because of how many people in this country I love hate me so fucking much for being born somewhere else. IIRC, there was another similar incident on the underground this past April. So tell me more about the supposed lack of xenophobia and racism in Europe These sort of things are sometimes best articulated by people who did not grow up here and suddenly experience it all at once. Pretty much every exchange student of color that I’ve spoken to in the Netherlands has recounted an experience to me that went pretty much like this: Day 1: “Yay! The Netherlands! Country of tolerance and gay rights!” Day 2: “Huh, that person was really friendly to me and did like 15 micro-aggression, that was weird” Day 4: “Waaaaaiiitt… why does this happen constantly? Are people messing with me?  Am I imagining this? Do I just misunderstand their culture? The Netherlands can’t be this racist.” Day 10: “Oh my god, I’m not imagining it, people actually are this racist and they think they’re not! WTF” Day 12: “Holy crap, if I try to point out a micro-aggression people go from super friendly to hyper aggressive screaming in my face in about 5 seconds. And people I thought I could trust jump to their defense. What is this hellscape?” Day 13: “Everything I thought I knew about the Netherlands is wrong. This place is so racist.” Day 14: “Holy crap, is that a primary school teacher in black face?” A Muslim girl was drowned in a river by school bullies and found with bite marks and the police are trying to write it off as her forgetting she couldn’t swim and jumping in the river to cool down? A local fisherman saw it all but was written off as being drunk even though he wasn’t. The school of the girl and the bullies is trying to change it’s name so it will no longer be associated with the incident.The school was Broad Oak Sports College. The river was River Irwell in Bury, Greater Manchester. The girl was Shukri Abdi and she was 12 years old and her and her family recently moved from Somalia. She was the eldest of 5 and her mum is completely distraught, and her uncle has been trying to point out that it wasn’t just a “tragic accident”.Racism still exists in the most horrific forms in the UK.: There is no such thing as an American dream n Europe we try to be civil and have empathy queeranarchism: queerautism: queeranarchism: love-geofffree: designatedheckingadult: queeranarchism: LOL NOPE Europe is racist as fuck. Europe has armed gaurds and high fences on its borders. Europe makes it illegal to rescue refugees at sea. Europe locks up refugee children. Europe has killer cops that shoot teenagers of color. Europe is full of fascist politicians nostalgically fantasizing about ethnic cleansing. Not a day goes by without attacks on Muslims. Fuck Europe. Can confirm. The problem with England (I can’t talk for the rest of Europe) is that our racism and our xenophobia and all our bigoted views manifest in a different way then America, and we use this to claim that it doesn’t exist, even when our country is built on it. We are taught that the British empire was a good thing, and pretty much no one here knows anything about colionisation and our role in most current world problems. But the amount of times that I’ve tried to talk about any issue within England and been shut down with the claim “well we’re not as bad as America”. That’s why the trump protests were so important. We are constantly looking to America to justify our own bigotry. We’ll call America out on their unjust wars, and ignore the fact our own army and government was supporting them. Listen, I like my country- I like that we have a rich history (not that I support it, but heck, everyone likes learning about the Roman Empire, doesn’t mean they think it’s a good thing), I like that we have countrysides and big diverse towns like London, I like that we love fish and chips and curry sauce, I love our old pubs and traditional pub food, I like that we have the NHS (though I dislike how it’s run), I like our sense of dry gallows humour, I like our film and tv industry, I love our history of theatre, I love our myths and legends. But god damn are we historically an awful country, and have we ever tried to make reparations? Our actions are still affecting other countries and ruining life. I don’t like the empire, I don’t like what the monarchy stands for, I don’t like our politicians that spew bigotry and hate, I don’t like our press which are like vultures, I don’t like the power the BBC has to cover-up actual sexual abuse and rape, I hate Katie Hopkins and that she has any platform to spew her hate, I hate Brexit and that it was founded on hate, I hate how we think our lives are more valuable than that of refuges or immigrants, I hate that we don’t think that we are directly or indirectly responsible for a lot of the refugees and asylum seekers that exist today, I hate that we have a system that is actively leading to the deaths of disabled people and that even when investigated by the UN and told to change because we were violating human rights we refused, I hate how we support America’s bigotry and then use their country as a shield when accused of our own bigotry. I hate that we, as a country, are incapable of accepting responsibility and making amends for our terrible actions. Incredibly well put. One of the tricky things is that every European country has their own fictional self image which it keeps repeating to convince itself it’s not a bigoted shithole. In the UK it’s very much focused on being better than the US, being civilized and polite and stylish, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. In the Netherlands it’s focused on being ‘tolerant’ and gay-friendly and having semi-legal weed, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  In Germany it’s focused on having ‘learned from the second world war’ and being ‘better now, while . . ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. And so on.. every European country considers itself either an underdog or a pioneer or a peak of civilization or small and quirky and of course they all consider themselves so much better than the US while doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  https://metro.co.uk/2016/10/27/man-severely-beaten-after-being-told-to-speak-f-english-speaks-out-6218523/ I still remember exactly how it felt to read about this man being brutally asssulted, HIT ON THE FACE WITH A PLANK OF WOOD, in London, a city I lived next to and visited all the time, simple because he was speaking my native language in public. I remember breaking down sobbing because of how many people in this country I love hate me so fucking much for being born somewhere else. IIRC, there was another similar incident on the underground this past April. So tell me more about the supposed lack of xenophobia and racism in Europe These sort of things are sometimes best articulated by people who did not grow up here and suddenly experience it all at once. Pretty much every exchange student of color that I’ve spoken to in the Netherlands has recounted an experience to me that went pretty much like this: Day 1: “Yay! The Netherlands! Country of tolerance and gay rights!” Day 2: “Huh, that person was really friendly to me and did like 15 micro-aggression, that was weird” Day 4: “Waaaaaiiitt… why does this happen constantly? Are people messing with me?  Am I imagining this? Do I just misunderstand their culture? The Netherlands can’t be this racist.” Day 10: “Oh my god, I’m not imagining it, people actually are this racist and they think they’re not! WTF” Day 12: “Holy crap, if I try to point out a micro-aggression people go from super friendly to hyper aggressive screaming in my face in about 5 seconds. And people I thought I could trust jump to their defense. What is this hellscape?” Day 13: “Everything I thought I knew about the Netherlands is wrong. This place is so racist.” Day 14: “Holy crap, is that a primary school teacher in black face?” A Muslim girl was drowned in a river by school bullies and found with bite marks and the police are trying to write it off as her forgetting she couldn’t swim and jumping in the river to cool down? A local fisherman saw it all but was written off as being drunk even though he wasn’t. The school of the girl and the bullies is trying to change it’s name so it will no longer be associated with the incident.The school was Broad Oak Sports College. The river was River Irwell in Bury, Greater Manchester. The girl was Shukri Abdi and she was 12 years old and her and her family recently moved from Somalia. She was the eldest of 5 and her mum is completely distraught, and her uncle has been trying to point out that it wasn’t just a “tragic accident”.Racism still exists in the most horrific forms in the UK.
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thecarefree: Austria-Hungary (also known as the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Austro-Hungarian monarchy or k.u.k. Monarchy), more formally known as the Kingdoms and Lands Represented in the Imperial Council and the Lands of the Holy Hungarian Crown of Saint Stephen, was a constitutional monarchic union between the crowns of the Austrian Empire and the Kingdom of Hungary in Central Europe. The union was a result of the Austro-Hungarian Compromise of 1867, under which the House of Habsburg agreed to share power with the separate Hungarian government, dividing the territory of the former Austrian Empire between them. The Austrian and the Hungarian lands became independent entities enjoying equal status. Austria-Hungary was a multinational realm and one of the world’s great powers at the time. The dual monarchy existed for 51 years until it dissolved on 31 October 1918 before a military defeat on the Italian front of the First World War. In the autumn of 1918, the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy collapsed. In the capital cities of Vienna and Budapest the leftist and liberal movements and politicians (the opposition parties) strengthened and supported the separatism of ethnic minorities. These leftist or left-liberal pro-Entente maverick parties opposed the monarchy as a form of government and considered themselves internationalist rather than patriotic. Eventually, the German defeat and the minor revolutions in Vienna and Budapest gave political power to the left/liberal political parties. As it became apparent that the Allied powers of the British Empire, France, Italy and the United States would win World War I, nationalist movements which had previously been calling for a greater degree of autonomy for various areas started pressing for full independence. : 201 TE thecarefree: Austria-Hungary (also known as the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Austro-Hungarian monarchy or k.u.k. Monarchy), more formally known as the Kingdoms and Lands Represented in the Imperial Council and the Lands of the Holy Hungarian Crown of Saint Stephen, was a constitutional monarchic union between the crowns of the Austrian Empire and the Kingdom of Hungary in Central Europe. The union was a result of the Austro-Hungarian Compromise of 1867, under which the House of Habsburg agreed to share power with the separate Hungarian government, dividing the territory of the former Austrian Empire between them. The Austrian and the Hungarian lands became independent entities enjoying equal status. Austria-Hungary was a multinational realm and one of the world’s great powers at the time. The dual monarchy existed for 51 years until it dissolved on 31 October 1918 before a military defeat on the Italian front of the First World War. In the autumn of 1918, the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy collapsed. In the capital cities of Vienna and Budapest the leftist and liberal movements and politicians (the opposition parties) strengthened and supported the separatism of ethnic minorities. These leftist or left-liberal pro-Entente maverick parties opposed the monarchy as a form of government and considered themselves internationalist rather than patriotic. Eventually, the German defeat and the minor revolutions in Vienna and Budapest gave political power to the left/liberal political parties. As it became apparent that the Allied powers of the British Empire, France, Italy and the United States would win World War I, nationalist movements which had previously been calling for a greater degree of autonomy for various areas started pressing for full independence.

thecarefree: Austria-Hungary (also known as the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Austro-Hungarian monarchy or k.u.k. Monarchy), more formally kno...

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Russias Greatest Love Machine: probablyhistoricalrpgideas bumblesee hamtastrophe it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there's no non-fucked up part of rasputin's existence rollinbylimpbizkit did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia's greatest love machine the-itchy-bitchy-spider basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he's a prophet or a saint because he's got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia's queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, ause queen he has too much power over the royal family and it's helping revolutionaries tunn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he-is-magieally unaf and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru- cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but they think he's dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he's gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the fore- head, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this he died.... of hypothermia they get the dose wrong tyrannosaurus-rex additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock. watercolor-gryphon Rasputin was an old god from times before humans mad-duck He is like a cleric gone wild godlessondheimite "did rasputin do something problematic" i am going to die Source: hamtastrophe 177,175 notes Russias Greatest Love Machine
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Rasputin: hamtastrophe it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like theres no non-fucked up part of rasputin's existence rollinbylimpbizkit did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia's greatest love machine the-itchy-bitchy-spider basic (true) story: fanatical russian monlk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shos up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he's a prophet or a saint because he's got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia's queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to. then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, ause queen he has too much power over the royal family and it's helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is-magieally unaffeeted-by peisen they get the dose wrong and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru- cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but they think he's dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he's gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the fore head, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this.. he died.. of hypothermia. tyrannosaurus-rex additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however the tsar was overthrown a few month later after exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock. watercolor-gryphon Rasputin was an old god from times before humans mad-duck He is like a cleric gone wild unnatural-twenty Calling Rasputin a cleric is bard erasure, the dude seduced a monarch and then proceeded to pull off like 5 Nat 20's in a row. That's the most true to life bardic thing l've ever heard Source: hamtastrophe Rasputin
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