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brucefromfamilyguy: biohazmatwp: brucefromfamilyguy: She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. Every once in a while I stumble upon a god-tier shitpost like this that is too great to have been crafted by mortal hands. God sent this post to us. I’m Bruce from Family Guy. : Lara Mason Cake Art INSIDER $1 Birti au sau She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. brucefromfamilyguy: biohazmatwp: brucefromfamilyguy: She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. Every once in a while I stumble upon a god-tier shitpost like this that is too great to have been crafted by mortal hands. God sent this post to us. I’m Bruce from Family Guy.
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This play is the stuff of legends: trajans nefertitie nefertitie did i ever tell u guys that in fifth grade my class wrote a play bc we were studying ancient greece? it was called persephone and the (not so hot) heroes. i played demeter. basically, persephone got kidnapped by kronos and i strong armed hades into giving me 3 heroes from the underworld to get her back but they were actually temible and i forget how she was actually saved but bottom line is that you wish you were my fifth grade class this wasn't little either, we used the town hall and we wore togas and shit me as demeter some lines (this was a joint effort of a bunch of greek-savvy 10/11 year olds): athena: "im the goddess of wisdom but you don't notice me telling everyone. i'm too smart for that aphrodite: is zeus chasing some mortal woman again? athena: no this time he and hera have gone for marriage counselling athena: we can ask hades to let them out of the underworld to help aphrodite: he'll never agree, he's such a deadly bore (we made a fucking pun im so angry) demeter hades wont pick up he's too busy torturing the dead in tartarus hades i can't undo the laws of death just think of the paperwork aphrodite the humidity is messing up my hair. it's getting all frizzy athena: is that all you care about? aphrodite: no, it's also messing up my dress demeter it's so dark, and there aren't any trees or flowers hades what do we need trees for, everybody's dead paris: yeah, and i can shoot straight! isn't that right, achilles? (hades enters) paris: who are you? do we know you? achilles: im mighty achilles odysseus: im wily odysseus paris: and im hungry paris kronos: i really am awesome, aren't i aeton one wrong move and you're history odysseus: fooll we already are historyl demeter. where are those mortals? i left them right there athena: are you sure? this isnt the first time you've lost someone l suddenly have the need for the entire screenplay, and to direct it at my college This play is the stuff of legends
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spocksplum: deepfriedfuckpotato: quousque: advanced-procrastination: captainkirk94: goldenpoc: exomoon: rexpinn: emiria: theradicalace: tossingtelevisions: Bitch WHAT THE FUCK what the FUCK ???!!!!?? Yo, this guy sold his soul for this or something holy fuck i feel like i just watched something forbidden for mortal eyes I’m the black lady in the audience LIKE DAMN OKAY So….do i go to church tommorrow or stay in? MAGIC TRICKS ARE SIMPLY SLEIGHT OF HAND, USING REDIRECTION TO TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF THE THING THEYRE MANIPULATING. THAT IS NOT THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE IT AT FIRST BUT THEN HE STARTS DOING THIS SHIT IN PLAIN SIGHT, AND LETTING US ACTUALLY SEE THE SHIT TRANSFORMING AND CHANGING PLACES. THIS ISN’T SLEIGHT OF HAND. THIS ISN’T A MAGIC TRICK. ITS JUST FUCKING MAGIC. ???? what??? the fuck??????? “Oh, I think I see the moments there where the actual transfer is happening, but he’s really good at it,” I thought at first.  Promptly followed by, “Wait what the fuck what the FUCK” Mmm bruh this guy needs to be arrested by wizard police for violation of the statute of secrecy : spocksplum: deepfriedfuckpotato: quousque: advanced-procrastination: captainkirk94: goldenpoc: exomoon: rexpinn: emiria: theradicalace: tossingtelevisions: Bitch WHAT THE FUCK what the FUCK ???!!!!?? Yo, this guy sold his soul for this or something holy fuck i feel like i just watched something forbidden for mortal eyes I’m the black lady in the audience LIKE DAMN OKAY So….do i go to church tommorrow or stay in? MAGIC TRICKS ARE SIMPLY SLEIGHT OF HAND, USING REDIRECTION TO TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF THE THING THEYRE MANIPULATING. THAT IS NOT THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE IT AT FIRST BUT THEN HE STARTS DOING THIS SHIT IN PLAIN SIGHT, AND LETTING US ACTUALLY SEE THE SHIT TRANSFORMING AND CHANGING PLACES. THIS ISN’T SLEIGHT OF HAND. THIS ISN’T A MAGIC TRICK. ITS JUST FUCKING MAGIC. ???? what??? the fuck??????? “Oh, I think I see the moments there where the actual transfer is happening, but he’s really good at it,” I thought at first.  Promptly followed by, “Wait what the fuck what the FUCK” Mmm bruh this guy needs to be arrested by wizard police for violation of the statute of secrecy
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martianbees: creed-of-corruption: island-delver-go: secretsinthemargin: I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem. This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day. OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING: “As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.” “Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.” “Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.” YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.” : New York Times bestselling author SANDRAHILL k Times bestselling author HILL continues her sexy Deadly Angels series, as a Viking vangel's otherworldly mission pairs him with a beautiful chef who whets his thousand-year-old appetite... Once guilty of the deadly sin of gluttony, thousand- year-old Viking vampire angel Cnut Sigurdsson is now a lean, mean, vampire-devil fighting machine. His new side-job? No biggie: just ridding the world of a threat called ISIS while keeping the evil Lucipires (demon vampires) at bay. So when chef drea Stewart hires him to rescue her sister from a cult recruiting terrorists at a Montana dude ranch, vangel turns cowboy. Yeehaw! The too-tempting mortal insists on accompanying him, surprising Cnut with her bravery at every turn. But with terrorists stalking the ranch in demon- oid form, Cnut teletransports Andrea and himself out of danger-accidentally into the tenth-century Norselands. Suddenly, they have to find their way back to the future to save her family and the world.. and to satisfy their insatiable attraction. vonVomance DISCOVER GREAT AUTHORS EXCLUSIVE OFFERS, AND MORE AT HC.COM Paranormal Romance ISBN 978-0-06-235654-3 50799 AVONBOOKS Win free prizes, get exclusive content, and more-scan with a QR App now! 9780062 356543 USA $7.99/$9.99 CAN martianbees: creed-of-corruption: island-delver-go: secretsinthemargin: I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem. This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day. OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING: “As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.” “Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.” “Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.” YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”
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emmawriter: lauraroselam: rhube: prairie-homo-companion: this is from a real diary by a 13-year-old girl in 1870. teenage girls are awesome and they’ve always been that way. Read this - oh my goodness, this girl was wonderful. Where can I read this in full? It’s from  Real American Girls Tell Their Own Stories, and that particular section is by Martha Carey Thomas who grew up to be a suffragist, linguist and renowned educator, as well as a badass lesbian.: November 25 ( 18701 Have come across such a glorious book called 'Boys Play Book of Science. Am going to read it through and see if whether ain't some experiments Bess and I can try. Won't it be jolly if we really can? But it takes money money money even for the privilege of blowing one's self up. . . When I got home I found that Netty had thrown away our tongue and eyes, and worst of all woe woe is me that our skeleton that had taken us 3 mortal hours to şet, had fallen out of the window and smashed. Oh Science! Why will thou not protect thy votaries? [worshippers In the afternoon lolled around learnt Greek and sewed everlasting slippers. Bess said when she told her father about our getting the mouse he looked grave and said, Bessie Bessie thee is losing all thy feminine traits. I'm afraid I haven't got any to lose for I greatly prefer cutting up mice to sewing. emmawriter: lauraroselam: rhube: prairie-homo-companion: this is from a real diary by a 13-year-old girl in 1870. teenage girls are awesome and they’ve always been that way. Read this - oh my goodness, this girl was wonderful. Where can I read this in full? It’s from  Real American Girls Tell Their Own Stories, and that particular section is by Martha Carey Thomas who grew up to be a suffragist, linguist and renowned educator, as well as a badass lesbian.
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me irl: do i just kill myself already To be, or not to be. That is the question: whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them to die to sleep no more and by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wished to die to sleep to sleep perchance to dream; ay, there's the rub for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuftled off this mortal col must give us pause. There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life for who would bear the whips and scoms of time th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely the pangs of despised love, the law's delay the insolence of office, and the spums that patient merit of th unworthy takes when he himselt might his quietus make with a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear to grunt and sweat under a weary lfe but that the dread of something after death the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no traveller retums. puzzles the will and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we know not of? thus conscience does make cowards of us all and thus the native hue of resolution is sickled o'er with the pałe cast of thought and enterprise of great pitch and moment with this regard their currents tum awry and lose the name of action. Soft you now, rhe air Ophelia! nmph. in thy orisons be all my sins remembered. me irl

me irl

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