🔥 Popular | Latest

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :( : ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Save
Most Useful: HOW TO BUILD MENTAL STRENGTH WITH CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Thoughts Feelings (Cognitions) How you think impacts how you feel Scenario A: Scenario A: Person is waiting on a long line and thinking This line is going to take forever. What is taking the cashier/information clerk so long?" Scenario B: Person is feeling impatient and frustrated. Scenario B: Person is feeling relaxed rson is waiting on same long line but thinking "It looks like this line is going to take awhile What can I do to make the most use of my time while waiting?" Behaviors How you feel impacts how you behave Scenario A: Person is starting to pace; heart is beating rapidly and he/she may start behaving in an aggressive manner Scenario B: Person is reading a book for leisure, or some work papers that he/she needed to catch up on and is ensuring that he/she will be doing a good job for work. Which approach do you think would be a healthier and more productive one to adopt? EVERYONE CAN IMPROVE THEIR MENTAL STRENGTH To Be Optimal Self+ Best Cope With Life's Challenges Practice Good Habits+ Give Up Bad Habits ReGULATe YOUR Thoughts Feelings Behaviors Control your Behave productlvely regardless of circumstances Recognize and replace thoughts emotions so that that aren't true.they don't control Consider: What is the evidence that this is true? What is the evidence that this is NOT true? What is another way of looking at this? If this was true, how bad would this be? you Name emotions Balance with logic Face your fears Engage in mood- boosting activities Conduct experiments Monitor habits Maintain positive habits Discontinue unhelpful habits Reference: Morin, A. (2015). Mental Strength: Mastering The 3 Core Factors, e-course Retrieved from htp:l/www.amymorinlesw.com/ecourse/ Social Work ,Career
Save
<p><a href="http://danwasonfireonce.tumblr.com/post/73069647273/gunslingerannie-europeansdomusicalsbetter" class="tumblr_blog">danwasonfireonce</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gunslingerannie.tumblr.com/post/39965158311/europeansdomusicalsbetter-stockade">gunslingerannie</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://europeansdomusicalsbetter.tumblr.com/post/39811819023/stockade-youre-welcome">europeansdomusicalsbetter</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <div> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://stockade.tumblr.com/post/39590645912">stockade</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <div> <p>You’re welcome</p> </div> </div> </blockquote> </div> </div> </blockquote> <div> <div> <div> <div> <p>This is the most useful thing I’ve ever reblogged.</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </blockquote> <p>i used to think when people said my cousin twice removed that their cousin must’ve did some fucked up shit to get kicked out of the family twice</p> </blockquote>: great-great great-great- grandfather grandmother great grandfather great- grandmothe uncle or aunt great-grand grandfather grand-uncle or grand-aunt first cousin twice removed grandmother father mother first cousin second cousin uncle or aunt once removed once removed self brother or sister first cousin second cousin third cousin son or daughter nephew or niece first cousin once removed second cousin once removed third cousin once removed grandson or grand-nephew second cousin first cousin granddaughter or grand-niece twice removed twice removed twice removed third cousin <p><a href="http://danwasonfireonce.tumblr.com/post/73069647273/gunslingerannie-europeansdomusicalsbetter" class="tumblr_blog">danwasonfireonce</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gunslingerannie.tumblr.com/post/39965158311/europeansdomusicalsbetter-stockade">gunslingerannie</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://europeansdomusicalsbetter.tumblr.com/post/39811819023/stockade-youre-welcome">europeansdomusicalsbetter</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <div> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://stockade.tumblr.com/post/39590645912">stockade</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <div> <p>You’re welcome</p> </div> </div> </blockquote> </div> </div> </blockquote> <div> <div> <div> <div> <p>This is the most useful thing I’ve ever reblogged.</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </blockquote> <p>i used to think when people said my cousin twice removed that their cousin must’ve did some fucked up shit to get kicked out of the family twice</p> </blockquote>
Save
This is so true it hurts: YOUR TEAM (YOU) - Above average player xPwndxUxx Only plays Hanzo no matterMassive weeaboo, plays with Will yell at team for not NarutoBoi96 what the situation Japanese voices on Tries to play - Will adjust hero picks based enemy team composition the objective on picking heroes that suit their has a myanimelist profile that he regularly updates owns a large katana collection corners, cannot actually aim when nearing an objective breathes heavily over his open worships Seagull GamurPrincess is not actually a girl but a fat DankKush Only plays while high It's only a game man xD the sound of a bong rip xgmzmxt las exclusively Torbjorn builds turret and then afks behind it occasionally hitting it with his hammer is probably a bot -Only heals Genji and will fly to only voice communication is him even to her death Holds ult all game trying to get always ice walls teammates in PotG, uses it once to solo rez spawn -100% of playtime is on Mercy -constantly blocks your ults excessive use of emoticons with wall and then types "xD in chat THE OTHER TEAM DJProfessorK Hanguk Mauer Avid Jet Set Radio player has probably not touched the WoW raid leader -17 year old Korean on a near lethal dose of Adderall Takes it personally when you is physically nailed to the perfect callouts to his team has been playing FPS since he could sit up straight attack his healer objective, always has ult up the entire game ground since leaving spawn is literally unhittable objective time is the same as the locked into a PC bang until he total game time wins Blizzcon God USMCDad Blyat Former Quake and TF2 pro holds PhD in pure mathematics Navy Seal copypasta is the actual guy from the flexes between support and tank, always picks the most useful hero for the job with a speciality in geometry no difference in aim between 80% direct hit ratio Nowhere is safe, not even when he ults and is regularly shooting your spawn 100% charge -Огонь по готовности This is so true it hurts

This is so true it hurts

Save
Save