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what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU Iโ€™ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and โ€œrespect for other peopleโ€™s things.โ€ If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always sayย โ€œI bought them that toyโ€ orย โ€œmy sister gave that to them.โ€ The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. Itโ€™s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your childโ€™s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but hereโ€™s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because Iโ€™d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didnโ€™t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldnโ€™t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someoneโ€™s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, โ€œOh, my bad,โ€ and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someoneโ€™s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God Iโ€™ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent โ€œI say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.โ€YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandmaโ€™s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: โ€œAre you hurt?โ€ and when I apologized profusely she said โ€œIโ€™m just glad you werenโ€™t hurt.โ€ I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dadโ€™s first response was โ€œDid you get cut?โ€ the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest โ€œpunishmentโ€ from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friendsโ€™ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didnโ€™t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of โ€œIโ€™m glad youโ€™re safe and I want to help you learn from this.โ€ And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. Itโ€™s likeโ€ฆ we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely. : what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU Iโ€™ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and โ€œrespect for other peopleโ€™s things.โ€ If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always sayย โ€œI bought them that toyโ€ orย โ€œmy sister gave that to them.โ€ The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. Itโ€™s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your childโ€™s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but hereโ€™s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because Iโ€™d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didnโ€™t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldnโ€™t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someoneโ€™s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, โ€œOh, my bad,โ€ and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someoneโ€™s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God Iโ€™ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent โ€œI say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.โ€YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandmaโ€™s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: โ€œAre you hurt?โ€ and when I apologized profusely she said โ€œIโ€™m just glad you werenโ€™t hurt.โ€ I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dadโ€™s first response was โ€œDid you get cut?โ€ the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest โ€œpunishmentโ€ from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friendsโ€™ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didnโ€™t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of โ€œIโ€™m glad youโ€™re safe and I want to help you learn from this.โ€ And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. Itโ€™s likeโ€ฆ we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

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dontforgettospeak: wickedwonderlandd: trinikelly1984: morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again: loueejii: facelesssavior: twitblr: Dormant Predators This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they canโ€™t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. reblog for that last bit to save a life If youโ€™re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. Itโ€™s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. Itโ€™s so simple but the door does not move. You canโ€™t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I canโ€™t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs! Thatโ€™s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, Iโ€™ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didnโ€™t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when Iโ€™m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here. Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and youโ€™re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?ย ย  Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, itโ€™s one of the reasons they have axes; itโ€™s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters donโ€™t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake. Sharing for all the safety items!! This is horrifying that these things are even necessary. Reblog to save a frickin life Iโ€™ve got the addalock one from above (plus a bar for my sliding door and additional window locks) and it gives me serious piece of mind. : dontforgettospeak: wickedwonderlandd: trinikelly1984: morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again: loueejii: facelesssavior: twitblr: Dormant Predators This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they canโ€™t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. reblog for that last bit to save a life If youโ€™re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. Itโ€™s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. Itโ€™s so simple but the door does not move. You canโ€™t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I canโ€™t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs! Thatโ€™s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, Iโ€™ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didnโ€™t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when Iโ€™m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here. Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and youโ€™re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?ย ย  Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, itโ€™s one of the reasons they have axes; itโ€™s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters donโ€™t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake. Sharing for all the safety items!! This is horrifying that these things are even necessary. Reblog to save a frickin life Iโ€™ve got the addalock one from above (plus a bar for my sliding door and additional window locks) and it gives me serious piece of mind.
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serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesnโ€™t die. !!! ok but thatโ€™s legitimately what itโ€™s doing!! Thatโ€™s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means itโ€™s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this carโ€™s slowing down for themโ€“cars do that sometimesโ€“which means theyโ€™re not in imminent danger, so it doesnโ€™t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehogโ€™s still gonna get killed if it doesnโ€™t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehogโ€™s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Yโ€™all, Yโ€™ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.ย  i canโ€™t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always sayingย โ€œah yes they have sub-human intelligence and donโ€™t consider anything that isnโ€™t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,โ€ but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstratingย compassion. Even if itโ€™s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings,ย thatโ€™s still huge and coolย and importantย and corvids!!! are! neat!!!ย  : serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesnโ€™t die. !!! ok but thatโ€™s legitimately what itโ€™s doing!! Thatโ€™s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means itโ€™s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this carโ€™s slowing down for themโ€“cars do that sometimesโ€“which means theyโ€™re not in imminent danger, so it doesnโ€™t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehogโ€™s still gonna get killed if it doesnโ€™t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehogโ€™s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Yโ€™all, Yโ€™ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.ย  i canโ€™t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always sayingย โ€œah yes they have sub-human intelligence and donโ€™t consider anything that isnโ€™t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,โ€ but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstratingย compassion. Even if itโ€™s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings,ย thatโ€™s still huge and coolย and importantย and corvids!!! are! neat!!!ย 
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portentous-offerings: pg-chan: serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesnโ€™t die. !!! ok but thatโ€™s legitimately what itโ€™s doing!! Thatโ€™s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means itโ€™s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this carโ€™s slowing down for themโ€“cars do that sometimesโ€“which means theyโ€™re not in imminent danger, so it doesnโ€™t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehogโ€™s still gonna get killed if it doesnโ€™t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehogโ€™s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Yโ€™all, Yโ€™ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.ย  i canโ€™t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always sayingย โ€œah yes they have sub-human intelligence and donโ€™t consider anything that isnโ€™t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,โ€ but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstratingย compassion. Even if itโ€™s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings,ย thatโ€™s still huge and coolย and importantย and corvids!!! are! neat!!!ย  Also, by the car stopping for them, that hedgehog has two other species actively working to help it stay alive for no gain of their own.ย  Reminds me of that professor who said the beginning of civilization was when someone took care of another. The broken thigh bone thing. โ€œHelping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others.โ€ - Margaret Mead : portentous-offerings: pg-chan: serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesnโ€™t die. !!! ok but thatโ€™s legitimately what itโ€™s doing!! Thatโ€™s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means itโ€™s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this carโ€™s slowing down for themโ€“cars do that sometimesโ€“which means theyโ€™re not in imminent danger, so it doesnโ€™t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehogโ€™s still gonna get killed if it doesnโ€™t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehogโ€™s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Yโ€™all, Yโ€™ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.ย  i canโ€™t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always sayingย โ€œah yes they have sub-human intelligence and donโ€™t consider anything that isnโ€™t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,โ€ but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstratingย compassion. Even if itโ€™s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings,ย thatโ€™s still huge and coolย and importantย and corvids!!! are! neat!!!ย  Also, by the car stopping for them, that hedgehog has two other species actively working to help it stay alive for no gain of their own.ย  Reminds me of that professor who said the beginning of civilization was when someone took care of another. The broken thigh bone thing. โ€œHelping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others.โ€ - Margaret Mead
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