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Bad, Club, and Complex: The Chad German THe cHAD ICELANDIC iceLAnoic The Virgin English Wagner and Bach Strict noun-capitalization plus -isieren suffix ensures clear Sigur Rós and Björk Gilbert & "They should just learn English" "Wait, is that a noun or a verb?" Sullivan Became fluent in English effortlessly so that he could speak to tourists, but code- Understands and Gender agreement is mandatory for plurals and predicate adjectives, besting even German syntax embraces the The genitive is his last case, and he botches that by putting -'s on importance of learning foreign languages in a globalized world "Mädchen" is neuter. switches whenever he Thinks it's cool to be easy to prepositions Get used to it. doesn't want to be learn, sorta like joining a club that will make anyone a member Any word order is permissible, a poet's dream understood Overdependence on word-order makes poetry boring and/or nonsensical Flexible word order just follow V2 and you're good Proud member of tiny, Old "English" is incomprehensible gibberish to him now exclusive club No dialects, but feels Can actually read Old English more easily than English-speakers can Grammatical gender has Has 2 subjunctives, and he's not afraid to brotherly towards been reduced to the Brad Faroese Became a global language by stealing from India His modern grammar pronouns and boats use them is more conservative than the oldest forms Colonial empire was tiny and of Old English. Can read the Eddur Barely knows how to use the subjunctive Adopted Standard German when he realized his case short-lived, but he's studied all over the world anyway Middle voice for verbs Got cucked so hard by the grants an expressivity others can only marvel Normans that he's ashamed of system was in danger his own Germanic vocabulary at No empire, is spoken by just 300,000 people, and yet still attracts learners "Abstand," "Ausbau," "Dachsprache," "Sprachsraum," "Sprachbund".. he's literally the language of linguistics itself Constantly belittles Ebonics, except when he wants to pretend he Combines pride in his language with respect for regional dialects Pronouns don't have "Muh Shakespeare!" (Can't actually read his work) politeness forms, but everyone in his country is already on a first- name basis so it's not a has diverse dialects Cucked by nobody, has never been conquered Lost thou/you distinction, leading to bad manners & abominations like "y'all" Maintains the du/ihr/Sie distinction, promoting clarity and politeness Could have become the language of science, but kept using Latin because of inferiority complex vis-a-vis the Romance languages problem Took a few Latin loanwords like "Student," but this just helped the weak declension for nouns to survive Actively avoids Latin, didn't even know that French and Spanish are two different languages The Virgin English vs. the Chad German vs. the Thad Icelandic (updated for legibility by popular demand)

The Virgin English vs. the Chad German vs. the Thad Icelandic (updated for legibility by popular demand)

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