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Aladdin, Candy, and Children: Toy Story: Andy's Parents Are Divorcing You never see the Dad They are moving (to a smaller house no less The Mom's wedding ring is off in the shot where she picks up the Burz box -Andy is introverted and emotionally attached to inanimate, masculine figures -They get a puppy (surprisingly common for divorcees) None of the babies in "Rugrats" actually exist, but they are all instead figments of Angelica's imagination, as result of her parent's negligence. Chuckie died with his mother, which explains how much of a nervous wreck his father is. Tommy was a stillborn baby, which explains why his father, Stu, was always in the basement making toys for the son he never had. Finally, the DeVilles had an abortion To compensate for not knowing the sex of the baby, Angelica invented twins in her head, one boy, one girl Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory, After Augustus gets sucked up the shoot, they all hop on board the boat through the tunnel of doom. The boat doesn't have two extra vacant seats thoughh Iit was designed with prior knowledge that they would lose two participants before that point. Later they drive a creanm spewing car with only four seats. Did they have another car waiting in the garage in case the others made it? Of course not. Willy Wonka uses children to make candy There's a scene in "Aladdin where Genie calls Aladdin's clothes 0 3rd century. However, as we all know, the Genie was locked inside a lamp for the past 10,000 years, meaning that there is no way he could have known what the 3rd century was like.This means that Aladdin actually takes place in the FUTURE, in at least 10,300 AD. The movie itself is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, one where only some Arabic culture has survived. The things called "magic" are actually just some of the technological marvels left behind by the previous civilization. These include flying carpets and genetically engineered parrots which can comprehend human speech instead of just mimicking it How else could the Genie do impressions of ancient, long-dead celebrities like Groucho Marx, Jack Nicholson, etc? Courage the Cowardly Dog is actually a normal dog and he sees the world through a dog's eyes. All the villains in the show are just normal people, but to a little dog they seem scary. They don't actually live in the middle of Nowhere, but since his owners are too old to take him outside for walks, he only knows what's around his immediate property, and everything beyond that is nothing because he's never seen it. Game begins with curtain opening shadows on Blocks bolted to more shadows on skyline Exit stage right; end of set Platforms hanging La from roof, sticking out through slots in backdrop running via hidden machines behind set Super Mario Bros. 3 never happened It was all just a stage show. A play Mario was never once in any real danger You were merely the audience lolzandtrollz: Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories

lolzandtrollz: Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories

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God, Ignorant, and Love: HE WO MAN FE MALE HU MAN PER SON visual-poetry »swofehuperx by richard tipping (+) [vial mitosisisyourtosis men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their biological inferiority and general superfluousness this is not just the natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture rhysiare Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me ache something terrible. In my linguistics dass in undergrad, we actually made fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason, because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do. 1 She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto- Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for thishere, Your idea of patriarchal language further falls apart when you compare this part of English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the words in German for he and she are 'er and sie", completely unrelated So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the words he and "she in English have similar form. 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to mean humanity/human being, the old words in Old English for male adult person and female adult person were werman and wifman respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as being the remnants of the base "wer- and the base wif-. Woman evolved phonologically from the word wifman by natural processes where the 'f sound dropped and the became lax. Man dropped its wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but I can guarantee have nothing to do with patriarchy because phonological change has no basis in that. 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle which meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well femella which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as such 4 Hman: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo- European "ghomon which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for man in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because I love the fuck out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at this point. Person derives from persona from Latin which meant the same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu Etruscan for mask as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person have any meaning to do with son So yes, this IS the natural order or language. Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do fact checking I will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in vour lane. Swofehuper He Man Male Manson
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Girls, Life, and Love: Jane Austen more more likely to have had sex with a woman than a man, says historian 'People often long to know if the eternal spinster Jane Austen ever had sex with a man. The answer is almost certainly not,' says Lucy Worsley The idea that Charlotte Brontë, the apparent goddess of hetero- sexual romance, was in love with a woman for most of her life, in a way that would today be described as lesbian, might come as a shock, yet it is not entirely new. Most notably, E.F. Benson in his biography of Charlotte Brontë, written in 1932, described her relationship with Ellen Nussey as 'an emotional thread that for years was the vividest colour in Charlotte's life'. More directly, he assessed it as 'one of those violent homosexual attachments' and found it 'reasonable to conclude that for a considerable period of her life, her emotional reactions were towards women rather than men'. Even earlier, Vita Sackville- West, a lesbian herself, who kept a photograph of Charlotte Brontë on her desk, wrote in her Journal that the letters of Charlotte to Ellen were 'love-letters pure and simple' and left little doubt in one's mind as to what Charlotte's tendencies really were'2 Ernest Raymond in his book In the Steps of the Brontes (1948) described Charlotte's feelings for Ellen as 'a hot In Little Women, Alcott based her heroine "Jo" on herself. But whereas Jo marries at the end of the story, Alcott remained single throughout her life. She explained her "spinsterhood" in an interview with Louise Chandler Moulton, "I am more than half-persuaded that l am a man's soul put by some freak of nature into a woman's body because I have fallen in love with so many pretty girls and never once the least bit with any man." However, Alcott's romance mysong5:alright!!!!!
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Apparently, Church, and Fail: captainlovelxce hey have i ever told y all about my cursed apartment building cursed how, you say???? well, here's the thing: no-one can fuckin see it. let me explain further .i live in a tiny flat in a big red brick building with huge windows. it has a driveway with two columns on either side not a thing you usually see in this area. it is opposite a bus stop and several corner shops. it is on a main, busy road. most significantly, it is attached to a church. a well- known church with a big pink sign on the front. all things that would make it easy to spot, right???? like if i gave that list of distinguishing features to someone along with my address then they'd be able to find my filat easily, right??? well APPARENTLY NOT we have never once had a delivery to our flat (outside of the usual postal service) where we haven't been called by a lost courier usually, they are about thirty seconds away. "i'm by the church and i don't know where to go from here," they say. so we tell them, "it's the building right next to the church!! the one you're outside. that church. it's the next building along. it's opposite a bus stop and it has a driveway with two big columns." without fail, they call back 5-10 minutes later, still lost. i have answered calls from both lost delivery people and friends where i've been able to see them standing in front of the driveway, from my window a friend of mine once drove past my building three times, while on the phone to me, getting increasingly panicked that she couldn't figure out where she was going. she parked in a nearby road and i had to walk to her car and guide her to the driveway however, my flatmate and i found this place when we were flat-hunting first time, no trouble, and we don't know what that means other than i guess this place chose us and the rent is so cheap because the estate agents were so relieved to find the first people in a thousand years who could actually see this fuckin building . today a food delivery person called me to say he was outside the church was told to go to the next building along, (a 20 second journey on foot) and arrived at my door 20 minutes later, saying, "sorry, i went to the back of this building by mistake. weird right???" this building doesn't have a back it backs onto the rest of the church it doesn't have a back where did he go . . toastynoneofyourbusiness There's probably a wizard's pub somewhere around there and the spell keeps overlapping with the nearby buildings captainlovelxce i haven't really been interacting with the notes on this post bc it blew up unexpectedly and ive been rly busy, but reblogging again to say - holy fuck, there is actually a pub just down the road that's all boarded up and derelict but i HAVE seen people go in and out of it and sometimes you can see a light on in the upstairs window Source:motherfortuna #bahahahahah #sacred space #fairy circle 92,553 notes TFW you live in a liminal space
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Beautiful, Books, and Children: Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!" All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose d until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find on him, he would stand there, getting soake One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time l got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling I must be hurting him terribly I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for. Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:Everyone Was Warned Not To Touch Him

srsfunny:Everyone Was Warned Not To Touch Him

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Baked, Burger King, and Drive By: I HATE MY JOB. My job is so unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I worlk with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f*king stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day. Anyway, I drive these folks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t. Unlike Share nd 48 others like this you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny: My Job Is Just The Worst
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America, Bad, and Crime: Ally Maynard @missmayn I didn't cry when Trump won. I have never once lost hope or my will to fight over the last 18 months. But, Kennedy stepping down... I have been hysterically crying for an hour. 5:03 AM 28 Jun 18 13 Retweets 85 Likes Ally Maynard @missmayn 3h If he gets another court pick, democracy is effectively over. He will be able to pardon himself. He can suspend elections. He will stay in power forever. Birth control will be illegal. I don't want to imagine how bad it will get. 23 t 27 69 <p><a href="https://friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt.tumblr.com/post/175508692760/arizonaconservativegal-cyrodiil-burns" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://arizonaconservativegal.tumblr.com/post/175508178978/cyrodiil-burns-surfcommiesmustdie-jesus" class="tumblr_blog">arizonaconservativegal</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://cyrodiil-burns.tumblr.com/post/175374184861/surfcommiesmustdie-jesus-fucking-christ-my" class="tumblr_blog">cyrodiil-burns</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://surfcommiesmustdie.tumblr.com/post/175373626935/jesus-fucking-christ" class="tumblr_blog">surfcommiesmustdie</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>jesus fucking christ </p></blockquote> <p>My sentiments exactly. Plus an LOL</p> </blockquote> <p>I’ve been notified that I must appear for my Handmaid’s Tale uniform fitting next Tuesday. This is Trump’s America, everyone. </p> </blockquote> <blockquote><p>“he will be able to pardon himself.”<br/></p></blockquote><figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-height="304" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FbKgWm5TNeBA"><iframe width="540" height="304" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bKgWm5TNeBA?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pardon#Federal_law">any president charged with a crime would be impeached first, &amp; presidents are specifically forbidden from pardoning in cases of impeachment.</a></p><p>also, <b>pardons have nothing to do with the supreme court you dumb twat</b>. you could take literally 5 seconds to look this stuff up instead of being panicked idiot. </p></blockquote>
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Being Alone, Beautiful, and Creepy: 17:17 1 13 hrs I often eat alone at a Wendy's that's just down the street from my house. A little less than a week ago, I noticed that they hired a new employee. She's a fair skinned woman who, for the sake of not violating a pending order of protection, we'll say is named Michelle. I was fond of her from the moment I first saw her. I immediately went home and scoured the internet to find out more information about her. I figured this way I'd be able to learn her interests and engage her in conversation regarding them l remember initially thinking to myself that it's a shame how name tags don't include last names. All I had to go on was her first name and location, yet thanks to Facebook's ability to search by city and state, I was able to find her after just a few hours. Once I did l realized I hit a goldmine; her phone number was visible to everyone, not just Facebook friends. Most women are scared to give out their number to a stranger because they don't think they're trustworthy, but if someone asked you out on a date after looking you up and learning your phone number without you having to tell them, you'd likely be far more trusting of that person since they already know your personal info. You'd have nothing to lose. That was my line of thinking, anyway. After obtaining her phone number I figured I'd try to do something romantic that would build up to me asking her out. I decided to use an app that would let me text her without revealing my actual number. The app allowed me to change my number at will O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 3 app allowed me to change my number at will, essentially making it unblockable, which I thought was a good idea since she might think it's just one of her friends messing with her and block it right away. This would grant me the ability to remain a complete enigma to her. "Once a day," I told myself. "Only text her once a day so it isn't creepy." Sadly, I was far too excited at the prospect of having my first girlfriend to stick to that. My first text to her was simply, "l saw that picture of your graduation you posted. You're beautiful." Later that day while I was sitting in the Wendy's parking lot I sent her another text that said, "l can see you right now. One day you'll see me, too." Before I knew it I had texted her over three hundred times in just a few days She never once responded to any of them. Still, not all messages contained text, some were just pictures of her that l took while she was at work to let her know that I was actually there Some of you may have noticed that I wasn't online at all yesterday. There is good reason for that. Yesterday was the day that I met her in person and tried to ask her out. It didn't go as planned. I walked up to Michelle while she was at the counter and told her that I'm her admirer. Her cheerful expression changed as she suddenly started shouting, "This is the guy! Marco, this is the guy!" Marco is her manager. He jumped from behind the counter and grabbed me while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 13 hrs while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me until police arrivedd The police said that the detainment was lawful, which meant that I was to be charged with battery for biting the manager in addition to stalking. This amounts to almost $500 in fines. Thankfully, father told me he'd take care of it since I'm currently unemployed. The police also told me that she's filing for an order of protection, so l can't return to that specific Wendy's. Father told me to keep my chin up and to remember that some women just aren't worth it. He said that If she thinks having a guy flatter her and think about her all the time is something to call the police over, then she must be "one of those nutty feminists." After spending some time thinking about it, I realized that he's right. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it's not you, it's them O Write a comment... GIF 7 The creepiest Neckbeard I've seen in a long time, him and his dad blame rejection on feminism

The creepiest Neckbeard I've seen in a long time, him and his dad blame rejection on feminism

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