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<p><a href="http://theonion.tumblr.com/post/166303420429/seattlefiguring-it-was-the-best-way-to-hedge" class="tumblr_blog">theonion</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>SEATTLE—Figuring it was the best way to hedge their bets, online activists reportedly unsure about the offensiveness of an article Wednesday figured they’d destroy the author’s life just in case. “Reading this piece, there are quite a few challenging viewpoints that I haven’t quite thought through, but it’s probably best to cover my bases and make sure this writer never works again,” said David Morrison who, along with his online peers, resolved to release the journalist’s address, phone number, and the names of his family members just to be safe. “Honestly, I only read the first couple paragraphs, but it’s probably better to err on the side of caution when it comes to potentially controversial views like this and just make his life a nightmare for the foreseeable future.” At press time, Morrison decided it also couldn’t hurt to throw in a few death threats.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>Sometimes the Onion has serious tea</p>: Like Comment Share Write a comment... Top Comments Brian Jorgensen I hope someone kills you and you're family, you deserve it. Like Reply 1 October 11 at 8:17am Jonathan Shulte Truly this dumbass loser should be ashamed. What a pathetic piece of fucking shit Like Reply October 11 at 9:25am Steve Grier This vile garbage is the worst. Somebody should do something. Oh look, the disgusting bastard lives at Online Activists Unsure About Offensiveness Of Article, Figure'Theyll Destroy Author's Life Just In Case (g <p><a href="http://theonion.tumblr.com/post/166303420429/seattlefiguring-it-was-the-best-way-to-hedge" class="tumblr_blog">theonion</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>SEATTLE—Figuring it was the best way to hedge their bets, online activists reportedly unsure about the offensiveness of an article Wednesday figured they’d destroy the author’s life just in case. “Reading this piece, there are quite a few challenging viewpoints that I haven’t quite thought through, but it’s probably best to cover my bases and make sure this writer never works again,” said David Morrison who, along with his online peers, resolved to release the journalist’s address, phone number, and the names of his family members just to be safe. “Honestly, I only read the first couple paragraphs, but it’s probably better to err on the side of caution when it comes to potentially controversial views like this and just make his life a nightmare for the foreseeable future.” At press time, Morrison decided it also couldn’t hurt to throw in a few death threats.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>Sometimes the Onion has serious tea</p>
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envy-kitty: New alignment chart Lawful Tired: You’re tired but you’re going to wait for nighttime to go to bed even though it never works Neutral Tired: You’re tired and tbh you aren’t going to take it to extremes but you’ve thought about it and you take naps when you can Chaotic Tired: You’ve been tired for 50 years. You’re sleeping right fucking now. You stop doing something for two seconds and immediately nap. The house is on fire. Wake up, bitch. Lawful Stupid: You remember that one time you forgot your McDonald’s food was on the top of your car and you drove off with it on top? That. True Stupid: Ben Jerry’s grape ice cream. That one time you turned in a paper 5 days late and tried to argue that it was a misunderstanding. Chaotic Stupid: Putting your spoon in the microwave knowing full well that it would go up in flames but you needed the spoon to be hot so you could scoop ice cream easier. Lawful Bastard: You’re a bastard with a moral code. So you might not actually knock a child over but youre gonna laugh when the little shit falls over or you see it happen in a video. Neutral Bastard: You are a bastard in everything you do. Not extremely bastard, or too unbastard, but bastard enough. Your friend falls down a flight of stairs and you cackle. You run TheBootyDiaries account on tumblr. Chaotic Bastard: Bastard incarnate. You just are. Solas, Edward Elric, Meatloaf the Cat, Kirby. All bastards.: Lawful Tired Neutral Tired Chaotic Tired Lawful Stupid True Stupid Chaotic Stupid Lawful Bastard Neutral Bastard Chaotic Bastard envy-kitty: New alignment chart Lawful Tired: You’re tired but you’re going to wait for nighttime to go to bed even though it never works Neutral Tired: You’re tired and tbh you aren’t going to take it to extremes but you’ve thought about it and you take naps when you can Chaotic Tired: You’ve been tired for 50 years. You’re sleeping right fucking now. You stop doing something for two seconds and immediately nap. The house is on fire. Wake up, bitch. Lawful Stupid: You remember that one time you forgot your McDonald’s food was on the top of your car and you drove off with it on top? That. True Stupid: Ben Jerry’s grape ice cream. That one time you turned in a paper 5 days late and tried to argue that it was a misunderstanding. Chaotic Stupid: Putting your spoon in the microwave knowing full well that it would go up in flames but you needed the spoon to be hot so you could scoop ice cream easier. Lawful Bastard: You’re a bastard with a moral code. So you might not actually knock a child over but youre gonna laugh when the little shit falls over or you see it happen in a video. Neutral Bastard: You are a bastard in everything you do. Not extremely bastard, or too unbastard, but bastard enough. Your friend falls down a flight of stairs and you cackle. You run TheBootyDiaries account on tumblr. Chaotic Bastard: Bastard incarnate. You just are. Solas, Edward Elric, Meatloaf the Cat, Kirby. All bastards.
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