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Ass, Children, and Jesus: somecunttookmyurl Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonioc civilization lasted 3,000 years. That's not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you're looking at more like... 5,000 years. Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE 'BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931. It's a really long time guys. somecunttookmyurl Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and of "when shit happened if you started at 1AD" because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here's an abridged version. If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then... 300: step pyramid built 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built 815: Pepi ll dies and civil war breaks out 950: Egypt re-unified 1350: Middle Kingdom ends 1450: New Kingdom begins 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city 1680: Tutankhamun dies 1720: Ramesses Il 'the great' ascends to the throne 1740: World's first peace treaty signed 1790: Ramesses Il dies leaving way too many children 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again And now we get to the futureIf we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn't happened yet 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state 2180: Civil war 2250: Nubian kings take over 2335: Assyrian conquest 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt 2930: Cleopatra VII born 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin. And that's just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates somecunttookmyurl I hate that this is still getting notes but that it's getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c'mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually feel anything like ur hand does.
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Apparently, Baked, and Beautiful: the-real-ted-cruz: scp2008: prospitanmutie: donesparce: youmightbeamisogynist: thisandthathistoryblog: hjuliana: dancingspirals: ironychan: hungrylikethewolfie: dduane: wine-loving-vagabond: A loaf of bread made in the first century AD, which was discovered at Pompeii, preserved for centuries in the volcanic ashes of Mount Vesuvius. The markings visible on the top are made from a Roman bread stamp, which bakeries were required to use in order to mark the source of the loaves, and to prevent fraud. (via Ridiculously Interesting) (sigh) I’ve seen these before, but this one’s particularly beautiful. I feel like I’m supposed to be marveling over the fact that this is a loaf of bread that’s been preserved for thousands of years, and don’t get me wrong, that’s hella cool.  But honestly, I’m mostly struck by the unexpected news that “bread fraud” was apparently once a serious concern. Bread Fraud was a huge thing,  Bread was provided to the Roman people by the government - bakers were given grain to make the free bread, but some of them stole the government grain to use in other baked goods and would add various substitutes, like sawdust or even worse things, to the bread instead.  So if people complained that their free bread was not proper bread, the stamp told them exactly whose bakery they ought to burn down. Bread stamps continued to be used at least until the Medieval period in Europe. Any commercially sold bread had to be stamped with an official seal to identify the baker to show that it complied with all rules and regulations about size, price, and quality. This way, rotten or undersized loaves could be traced back to the baker. Bakers could be pilloried, sent down the streets in a hurdle cart with the offending loaf tied around their neck, fined, or forbidden to engage in baking commercially ever again in that city. There are records of a baker in London being sent on a hurdle cart because he used an iron rod to increase the weight of his loaves, and another who wrapped rotten dough with fresh who was pilloried. Any baker hurdled three times had to move to a new city if they wanted to continue baking. If you have made bread, you are probably familiar with a molding board. It’s a flat board used to shape the bread. Clever fraudsters came up with a molding board that had a little hole drilled into it that wasn’t easily noticed. A customer would buy his dough by weight, and then the baker would force some of that dough through the hole, so they could sell and underweight loaf and use the stolen dough to bake new loafs to sell. Molding boards ended up being banned in London after nine different bakers were caught doing this. There were also instances of grain sellers withholding grain to create an artificial scarcity drive up the price of that, and things like bread. Bread, being one of the main things that literally everyone ate in many parts of the world, ended up with a plethora of rules and regulations. Bakers were probably no more likely to commit fraud than anyone else, but there were so many of them, that we ended up with lots and lots of rules and records of people being shifty. Check out Fabulous Feasts: Medieval Cookery and Ceremony by Madeleine Pelner Cosman for a whole chapter on food laws as they existed in about 1400. Plus the color plates are fantastic. ALL OF THIS IS SO COOL I found something too awesome not share with you!  I’m completely fascinated by the history of food, could I choose a similar topic for my Third Year Dissertation? Who knows, but it is very interesting all the same! Bread fraud us actually where the concept of a bakers dozen came from. Undersized rolls/loaves/whatever were added to the dozen purchased to ensure that the total weight evened out so the baker couldn’t be punished for shorting someone. [wants to talk about bread fraud laws and punishments] [holds it in] bread police Reblogging this tasty Bread History for 2016! @the-real-ted-cruz loafs were too valuable  i love lore

the-real-ted-cruz: scp2008: prospitanmutie: donesparce: youmightbeamisogynist: thisandthathistoryblog: hjuliana: dancingspirals: iro...

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Apparently, Baked, and Beautiful: wine-loving-vagabond A loaf of bread made in the first century AD, which was discovered at Pompeil, preserved for centuries in the volcanic ashes of Mount Vesuvius. The markings visible on the top are made from a Roman bread stamp, which bakeries were required to use in order to mark the source of the loaves, and to prevent fraud (via Ridiculously Interesting) dduane (sigh) I've seen these before, but this one's particularly beautiful. hungrylikethewolfie I feel like I'm supposed to be marveling over the fact that this is a loaf of bread that's been preserved for thousands of years, and don't get me wrong, that's hella cool. But honestly, I'm mostly struck by the unexpected news that "bread fraud" was apparently once a serious concem. ironychan Bread Fraud was a huge thing, Bread was provided to the Roman people by the govermment bakers were given grain to make the free bread, but some of them stole the government grain to use in other baked goods and wouid add various substitutes, like sawdust or even worse things, to the bread instead So if people complained that their free bread was not proper bread, the stamp told them exactly whose bakery they ought to burn down. dancingspirals Bread stamps continued to be used at least until the Medieval period in Europe. Any commercially sold bread had to be stamped with an official seal to dentify the baker to show that it complied with all rules and regulations about size, price, and quality. This way, rotten or undersized loaves could be traced back to the baker. Bakers could be pilloried, sent down the streets in a hurdle cart with the offending loaf tied around their neck, fined, or forbidden to engage in baking commercially ever again in that city. There are records of a baker in London being sent on a hurdie cart because he used an iron rod to increase the weight of his loaves, and another who wrapped rotten dough with fresh who was pilloried. Any baker hurdled three times had to move to a new city if they wanted to continue baking If you have made bread, you are probably familiar with a molding board. it's a flat board used to shape the bread. Clever traudsters came up with a molding board that had a little hole drilled into it that wasn't easily noticed. A customer would buy his dough by weight, and then the baker would force some of that dough through the hoie, so they could sell and underweight loaf and use the stoien dough to bake new loafs to sell. Molding boards ended up being banned in London after nine different bakers were caught doing this. There were also instances of grain sellers withholding grain to create an artificial scarcity drive up the price of that, and things like bread Bread, being one of the main things that literally everyone ate in many parts of the world, ended up with a plethora of rules and regulations. Bakers were probably no more likely to commit fraud than anyone else, but there were so many of them, that we ended up with lots and lots of ruies and records of people being shifty Check out Fabulous Feasts. Medieval Cookery and Ceremony by Madeleine Peiner Cosman for a whole chapter on food laws as they existed in about 1400 Plus the color plates are fantastic hjuliana ALL OF THIS IS SO COOL thisandthathistoryblog l found som ething too awesome not share with you! I'm completely fascinated by the history of food, could I choose a similar topic for my Third Year Dissertation? Who knows, but it is very interesting all the same! youmightbeamisogynist fraud us actually where the concept of a bakers dozen came from Undersized rolis/loaves/whatever were added to the dozen purchased to ensure that the total weight evened out so the baker couldn't be punished for shorting someone. donesparce wants to talk about bread fraud laws and punishments holds it inj bread police Bread Police! Open up!

Bread Police! Open up!

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Apparently, Baked, and Beautiful: haiku-robot: areyoutryingtodeduceme: diglettdevious: soylent-queen: gallifrey-feels: drtanner: dancingspirals: ironychan: hungrylikethewolfie: dduane: wine-loving-vagabond: A loaf of bread made in the first century AD, which was discovered at Pompeii, preserved for centuries in the volcanic ashes of Mount Vesuvius. The markings visible on the top are made from a Roman bread stamp, which bakeries were required to use in order to mark the source of the loaves, and to prevent fraud. (via Ridiculously Interesting) (sigh) I’ve seen these before, but this one’s particularly beautiful. I feel like I’m supposed to be marveling over the fact that this is a loaf of bread that’s been preserved for thousands of years, and don’t get me wrong, that’s hella cool.  But honestly, I’m mostly struck by the unexpected news that “bread fraud” was apparently once a serious concern. Bread Fraud was a huge thing,  Bread was provided to the Roman people by the government - bakers were given grain to make the free bread, but some of them stole the government grain to use in other baked goods and would add various substitutes, like sawdust or even worse things, to the bread instead.  So if people complained that their free bread was not proper bread, the stamp told them exactly whose bakery they ought to burn down. Bread stamps continued to be used at least until the Medieval period in Europe. Any commercially sold bread had to be stamped with an official seal to identify the baker to show that it complied with all rules and regulations about size, price, and quality. This way, rotten or undersized loaves could be traced back to the baker. Bakers could be pilloried, sent down the streets in a hurdle cart with the offending loaf tied around their neck, fined, or forbidden to engage in baking commercially ever again in that city. There are records of a baker in London being sent on a hurdle cart because he used an iron rod to increase the weight of his loaves, and another who wrapped rotten dough with fresh who was pilloried. Any baker hurdled three times had to move to a new city if they wanted to continue baking. If you have made bread, you are probably familiar with a molding board. It’s a flat board used to shape the bread. Clever fraudsters came up with a molding board that had a little hole drilled into it that wasn’t easily noticed. A customer would buy his dough by weight, and then the baker would force some of that dough through the hole, so they could sell and underweight loaf and use the stolen dough to bake new loafs to sell. Molding boards ended up being banned in London after nine different bakers were caught doing this. There were also instances of grain sellers withholding grain to create an artificial scarcity drive up the price of that, and things like bread. Bread, being one of the main things that literally everyone ate in many parts of the world, ended up with a plethora of rules and regulations. Bakers were probably no more likely to commit fraud than anyone else, but there were so many of them, that we ended up with lots and lots of rules and records of people being shifty. Check out Fabulous Feasts: Medieval Cookery and Ceremony by Madeleine Pelner Cosman for a whole chapter on food laws as they existed in about 1400. Plus the color plates are fantastic. Holy shit.  Bread is serious fucking business. bread is STILL serious fucking business I recently had to deal with a sack of flour that had been half replaced with soap powder. No jokes. Another really good and informative book about bread’s significance and place in history is 6000 Years Of Bread! It’s fairly academic, but a fascinating topic and an engaging read. you guys found out the history of bread FOOD HISTORY IS THE FUCKING BEST SHUT UP DON’T EVEN LOOK AT ME food history is the fucking best shut up don’t even look at me ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon
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