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        Denny's, Disney, and Fire: halleregina
 Okay now that I've finally quit Denny's let me tell you guys about the bizarre
 fucking otherworld it is
 The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate.
 Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I've never
 heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version
 of Let it Go.
 Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the
 repairman said he couldn't find anything wrong with it.
 People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking
 lot multiple times a week.
 It's open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until
 there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree
 knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could
 weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even
 happening.
 Regular customers included:
 A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate
 pieces of literature on the subject
 A little person named Kevin who told me "sometimes I call myself a
 dwarf when I'm feeling whimsical"
 An actual group of Neo-Nazis
 An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
 o
 Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they
 were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
 A Scottish landscaper who told us we "couldn't prove he doesn't
 know Simon Pegg"
 I have more these are just off the top of my head
 halleregina
 I can't believe I forgot
 two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel
 is bisexual or not
 I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he
 said "No, I'm not a socialist"
 
        

            
            

                
                
                    Denny's, Disney, and Fire: halleregina
 Okay now that I've finally quit Denny's let me tell you guys about the bizarre
 fucking otherworld it is
 The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate.
 Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I've never
 heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version
 of Let it Go.
 Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the
 repairman said he couldn't find anything wrong with it.
 People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking
 lot multiple times a week.
 It's open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until
 there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree
 knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could
 weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even
 happening.
 Regular customers included:
 A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate
 pieces of literature on the subject
 A little person named Kevin who told me "sometimes I call myself a
 dwarf when I'm feeling whimsical"
 An actual group of Neo-Nazis
 An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
 o
 Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they
 were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
 A Scottish landscaper who told us we "couldn't prove he doesn't
 know Simon Pegg"
 I have more these are just off the top of my head
 halleregina
 I can't believe I forgot
 two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel
 is bisexual or not
 I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he
 said "No, I'm not a socialist"
 
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Ass, Bad, and Children: zaynsamosa
 white person: eats chicken tikka masala once* i just...
 i feel so connected... to indian culture... I'm learning
 to speak islam.... check out my third eye..... chakra
 teaboot
 Every time see this. Every damn time. I'm immediately
 sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class
 with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. "Hit the gong to begin
 class", "Namaste, Children", "l wanna go backpacking
 in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left
 burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum
 circle" ass bastard. "Do you want to share your poetry
 with the class to get in touch with your emotions" ass
 fucker. Mr. "Here's a photograph of a tribal shaman,
 describe him using nature words" asshole. Pretentious-
 ass, condescending motherfucker. "Do you want to tell
 us about your saddest memory?" "I dunno, sir. Are you
 giving me an option?" "No." "Then why are you asking"
 Every goddamn day. Fuck. "You seem tense." Oh, I
 seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor
 Pillsbury, maybe l 'seem tense' because I walk into a
 room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn
 brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-
 foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-
 smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with
 some shit like "a tree......... Is a Poem" and I gotta sit
 here and politely tell you that No I'm Not Comfortable
 Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally
 Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound
 like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe l don't
 wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from
 Computer Sciences to "align our auras" or some shit
 Fuck. Fuuuuuuck. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing
 kumbaya' with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair
 who writes bad porn on the side, I'd go out to the
 parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the
 disgraced electrician. What, I don't wanna do an
 interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience
 of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens
 and suddenly I'm the 'troubled youth' you need to
 Robin Williams "O Captain My Captain" your way into
 having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to
 Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My
 Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking
 Christ. You insufferable jackass. You're not
 "Enlightened", you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot
 brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled
 into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six
 hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus
 goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking
 Balls
 Source: zintersoldier
 #Teaboot
 238,334 notes
 Sep 29th, 2018
a tree Is a Poem
        

            
            

                
                
                    Ass, Bad, and Children: zaynsamosa
 white person: eats chicken tikka masala once* i just...
 i feel so connected... to indian culture... I'm learning
 to speak islam.... check out my third eye..... chakra
 teaboot
 Every time see this. Every damn time. I'm immediately
 sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class
 with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. "Hit the gong to begin
 class", "Namaste, Children", "l wanna go backpacking
 in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left
 burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum
 circle" ass bastard. "Do you want to share your poetry
 with the class to get in touch with your emotions" ass
 fucker. Mr. "Here's a photograph of a tribal shaman,
 describe him using nature words" asshole. Pretentious-
 ass, condescending motherfucker. "Do you want to tell
 us about your saddest memory?" "I dunno, sir. Are you
 giving me an option?" "No." "Then why are you asking"
 Every goddamn day. Fuck. "You seem tense." Oh, I
 seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor
 Pillsbury, maybe l 'seem tense' because I walk into a
 room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn
 brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-
 foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-
 smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with
 some shit like "a tree......... Is a Poem" and I gotta sit
 here and politely tell you that No I'm Not Comfortable
 Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally
 Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound
 like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe l don't
 wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from
 Computer Sciences to "align our auras" or some shit
 Fuck. Fuuuuuuck. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing
 kumbaya' with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair
 who writes bad porn on the side, I'd go out to the
 parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the
 disgraced electrician. What, I don't wanna do an
 interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience
 of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens
 and suddenly I'm the 'troubled youth' you need to
 Robin Williams "O Captain My Captain" your way into
 having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to
 Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My
 Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking
 Christ. You insufferable jackass. You're not
 "Enlightened", you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot
 brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled
 into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six
 hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus
 goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking
 Balls
 Source: zintersoldier
 #Teaboot
 238,334 notes
 Sep 29th, 2018
a tree Is a Poem
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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