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themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.” ‘‘Tis the season : themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.” ‘‘Tis the season
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jessipumpkinhead: supaslim: lexxgotthejuice: localstarboy: Trump is so bad that SATANISTS are protesting him. Devil worshipers are trying to protect us from this man lmao this real life Lmaooo yo this seemed so unreal okay okay but listen satanists WOULD be anti-Trump satanists are, for the most part, just secular humanists (mostly atheists) with a flair for the dramatic. They are, on average, very left-leaning. The Satanic Temple in particular is a great organization. They don’t believe religious organizations should be tax exempt, so they voluntarily pay taxes. They also sell merch and give a good chunk of the proceeds to things like Planned Parenthood and legal funds that fight for division of church and state. Fuck, this is straight from their website:  “The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people. In addition, we embrace practical common sense and justice.” satanism is not bad or evil I feel like more people should know this : jessipumpkinhead: supaslim: lexxgotthejuice: localstarboy: Trump is so bad that SATANISTS are protesting him. Devil worshipers are trying to protect us from this man lmao this real life Lmaooo yo this seemed so unreal okay okay but listen satanists WOULD be anti-Trump satanists are, for the most part, just secular humanists (mostly atheists) with a flair for the dramatic. They are, on average, very left-leaning. The Satanic Temple in particular is a great organization. They don’t believe religious organizations should be tax exempt, so they voluntarily pay taxes. They also sell merch and give a good chunk of the proceeds to things like Planned Parenthood and legal funds that fight for division of church and state. Fuck, this is straight from their website:  “The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people. In addition, we embrace practical common sense and justice.” satanism is not bad or evil I feel like more people should know this
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epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You: God created the dog and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed Then God created the monkey and said: Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. Then God created the cow and said: You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years. The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty? And God agreed again. Thereafter God created humans and said: Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II give you twenty years." But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' Okay, said God, 'You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

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epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You: God created the dog and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed Then God created the monkey and said: Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. Then God created the cow and said: You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years. The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty? And God agreed again. Thereafter God created humans and said: Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II give you twenty years." But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' Okay, said God, 'You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

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draconian62: FCBD:Free Scott Pilgrim: SWORN TO DEFEAT SEVEN EVIL EX-BOYFRIENDS IN ORDER TO DATE THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS, HAUNTED BY A TRAUMATIC PAST OF HIS OWN, PERSECUTED BY BANDMATES AND GAY BEST FRIENDS, HIS NAME IS TM COME ON SCOTT,. COME SCOTT! l4 JUST GIMME A SECOND! I NEED TO PICK THE BEST DRINK, OKAY?? RAMONA FLOWERS: American expatriate ninja courier (age THE MOVIE STARTS IN 20 MINUTES, AND t I STILL NEED TO GOTO THE Path unknown) WALLACE WELLS: Scott Pilgrim's cool gay roommate CANDY STORE. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!! WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE, ANYWAY? THERE ARE TONS OF DIFFERENCES! JUST GOTTA DO THE MATH ON THESE POWER-UPS BESIDES, I DON'T REALLY LIKE THE TASTE OF SOFT DRINKS, THEY'RE ALL WEIRD AND BUBBLY. ur nutritive Nutrition Facts r 250 mL/par 250 Valeur nutritive Per 250 mi./par 250 ml % Daily Value % valeur quotidienne ength Force +1 % valeur quotidien telligence 0 To Hit/ Frapper +1 Speed/ Vitesse +2 Strength / Force +1 Will / Volonté +2 ot a significant s Intelligence-1 To Hit/ Frapper +1 Speed/Vitesse +1 Will/ Volonté +3 fat, cholesterol, fibre, vitaminA C, calcium or iron of saturated fat, ficgnt source of saturated fat Not a set chaiesterol, fibre, vitamin A, e négligeable de lipides saturés trans, cholestérol, fibres, vita Source negs cholestérol, fibres, vitami SCOTT PILGRIM: indecisive loser-hero hybrid (23 years old) able de lipides saturés, vitamine C, calcium et fer SCOTT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW NOT JUST ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS /WHAT?! HA WALLACE DOESN'T HAVE GOODNESS IN HIS HEART!! WALLACE GOT US FREE TICKETS TO THE GAY COWBoy MOVIE OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF HIS HEART! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO HIM! GREAT, NOW HURRY UP OKAY, OKAY! I'LL GET THE STUPID PEPS LINE WITH +3 TO WILL AND PAY FOR IT, AND YOU IDIOT! 15 MINUTES IN THERE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET ANYTHING!? WE'RE RUNNING TO THE CANDY STORE! FOLLOW ME! RUNNING? BUT I DIDN'T EVEN GET A DRINK! I'LL DEHYDRATE! SH Mvsd Mo X/ IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T BRING YOUR WALLET.. THOUGHT TODAY WAS ALL ABOUT FREE STUFF! NO, BECAUSE (A) YOU'LL TAKE HALF AN HOUR TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, AND (B) NO SUGAR FOR YOU!! CAN I GET SOME FREE CANDY? CAN YOU MAKE IT idI HAPPEN? JUST SOME CHOCOLATE MAYBE? YEAH! UNLESS YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHO WORK AT THE CANDY STORE, LIKE ME THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ErS A FREE RIDE, DUDE! YEAH, ACTUALLY WE'RE SITTING IN A MOVIE THEATER FOR TWO HOURS, DUDE... I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING ALL GRABBY. NO SUGAR?! OH, DOES !「 IT'S REALLY FOR THE BEST THAT HE DIDN'T HE GET UP TO GO PEE HALFWAY HALFWAY? TRY SIX TIMES THAT'S A RECORD, NOT AN AVERAGE! GET A DRINK,THROUGH EITHER. THE MOVIE? 4. draconian62: FCBD:Free Scott Pilgrim

draconian62: FCBD:Free Scott Pilgrim

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Coincidence?: Life Explained... God created the dog and said Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed. Then God created the monkey and said: Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did? And God agreed Then God created the cow and said: You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again. Thereafter God created humans and said: Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, r'lI give you twenty years." But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone Life has now been explained to you. Coincidence?

Coincidence?

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<p><a href="http://supaslim.tumblr.com/post/156156610522/lexxgotthejuice-localstarboy-trump-is-so-bad" class="tumblr_blog">supaslim</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://lexxgotthejuice.tumblr.com/post/156142451920/localstarboy-trump-is-so-bad-that-satanists-are" class="tumblr_blog">lexxgotthejuice</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://localstarboy.tumblr.com/post/156140776727/trump-is-so-bad-that-satanists-are-protesting-him" class="tumblr_blog">localstarboy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Trump is so bad that SATANISTS are protesting him. Devil worshipers are trying to protect us from this man lmao this real life</p></blockquote> <p>Lmaooo yo this seemed so unreal</p> </blockquote> <p>okay okay but listen</p><p>satanists WOULD be anti-Trump</p><p>satanists are, for the most part, just secular humanists (mostly atheists) with a flair for the dramatic. They are, on average, very left-leaning.</p><p>The Satanic Temple in particular is a great organization. They don’t believe religious organizations should be tax exempt, so they voluntarily pay taxes. They also sell merch and give a good chunk of the proceeds to things like Planned Parenthood and legal funds that fight for division of church and state.</p><p>Fuck, this is straight from their website: <b> “The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people. In addition, we embrace practical common sense and justice.” </b></p><p>satanism is not bad or evil</p></blockquote>: <p><a href="http://supaslim.tumblr.com/post/156156610522/lexxgotthejuice-localstarboy-trump-is-so-bad" class="tumblr_blog">supaslim</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://lexxgotthejuice.tumblr.com/post/156142451920/localstarboy-trump-is-so-bad-that-satanists-are" class="tumblr_blog">lexxgotthejuice</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://localstarboy.tumblr.com/post/156140776727/trump-is-so-bad-that-satanists-are-protesting-him" class="tumblr_blog">localstarboy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Trump is so bad that SATANISTS are protesting him. Devil worshipers are trying to protect us from this man lmao this real life</p></blockquote> <p>Lmaooo yo this seemed so unreal</p> </blockquote> <p>okay okay but listen</p><p>satanists WOULD be anti-Trump</p><p>satanists are, for the most part, just secular humanists (mostly atheists) with a flair for the dramatic. They are, on average, very left-leaning.</p><p>The Satanic Temple in particular is a great organization. They don’t believe religious organizations should be tax exempt, so they voluntarily pay taxes. They also sell merch and give a good chunk of the proceeds to things like Planned Parenthood and legal funds that fight for division of church and state.</p><p>Fuck, this is straight from their website: <b> “The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people. In addition, we embrace practical common sense and justice.” </b></p><p>satanism is not bad or evil</p></blockquote>
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