🔥 Popular | Latest

ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-gaudiest-fish: lipsredasroses: mayothefirst: madamehearthwitch: thegrimmlovely: riskpig: endangeredslug: riskpig: teamseabreeze: recycled-soul: skywritingg: iloveyournudity: cuntsoloud-ishere: pizzaforpresident: This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!! This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes. WHAT? The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read. WHAT????? Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books? Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies. https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL This is very true lol Yo what the f u c k not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing. What the fuck I’m ace but here you guys go : ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-gaudiest-fish: lipsredasroses: mayothefirst: madamehearthwitch: thegrimmlovely: riskpig: endangeredslug: riskpig: teamseabreeze: recycled-soul: skywritingg: iloveyournudity: cuntsoloud-ishere: pizzaforpresident: This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!! This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes. WHAT? The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read. WHAT????? Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books? Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies. https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL This is very true lol Yo what the f u c k not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing. What the fuck I’m ace but here you guys go
Save
alphaflyer: ralfmaximus: My dad was a straight-ticket Democrat, gave money to the ACLU, and left the Catholic church when his local parish prioritized a new, bigger church over hungry parishioners. He was VERY liberal.  He voted for Al Gore in 2000. In 2004 (when he was 75yo) an injury forced him to spend time at an assisted living facility for rehab. The TVs there were all tuned to Fox News. All it took was six months. Upon his release that’s all he watched. He obsessed over Fox. Became convinced liberals were out to destroy HIS America. From 2004 onwards I watched my liberal dad – the guy who imbued me with my beliefs and values – decline into a ranting, angry, hateful person.  He almost died alone because I told him I simply could NOT stand to hear any more about how Obama was ruining the country. He relented, and I said goodbye to him in 2011 at his hospice, only because we agreed not to discuss “politics”. Fox News is pure 100% brainwashing. I’ve seen it up close, and it is evil. Thanks, Ronald Reagan, for abolishing the Fairness Doctrine for broadcasters.  If you’re looking for the innocuous-looking beginning of all this crap, that’s where you find it: in 1987. : alphaflyer: ralfmaximus: My dad was a straight-ticket Democrat, gave money to the ACLU, and left the Catholic church when his local parish prioritized a new, bigger church over hungry parishioners. He was VERY liberal.  He voted for Al Gore in 2000. In 2004 (when he was 75yo) an injury forced him to spend time at an assisted living facility for rehab. The TVs there were all tuned to Fox News. All it took was six months. Upon his release that’s all he watched. He obsessed over Fox. Became convinced liberals were out to destroy HIS America. From 2004 onwards I watched my liberal dad – the guy who imbued me with my beliefs and values – decline into a ranting, angry, hateful person.  He almost died alone because I told him I simply could NOT stand to hear any more about how Obama was ruining the country. He relented, and I said goodbye to him in 2011 at his hospice, only because we agreed not to discuss “politics”. Fox News is pure 100% brainwashing. I’ve seen it up close, and it is evil. Thanks, Ronald Reagan, for abolishing the Fairness Doctrine for broadcasters.  If you’re looking for the innocuous-looking beginning of all this crap, that’s where you find it: in 1987.

alphaflyer: ralfmaximus: My dad was a straight-ticket Democrat, gave money to the ACLU, and left the Catholic church when his local par...

Save
feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.   Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. Of course it is FUCK YOU GW: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.   Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. Of course it is FUCK YOU GW
Save
feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.   Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. : feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.   Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO.
Save
feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.   Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. : feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.   Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY.
Save
alithiasigma: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, GOOGLE?I know for a FACT that this video wasn’t a scam. Talented black artists contributed to it, approved of it, made it possible. The funds in the fundraiser went (and still go to) the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People). Is this post even going to show up on anyone’s dashboards? Am I going to get censored for speaking up about this? How many people have already seen what is going on and said something about it, only for their post to be taken down? This is the world we live in. This is the current internet climate. Net neutrality is gone, Trump is American’s president, and Jeff Bezos rules the market. Black people can’t even post their own art on Youtube as a fundraiser now. Silenced for attempting to provide a way to save the lives of their families, their friends, their communities. IS ANYONE SEEING THIS? BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEING DENIED THE RIGHT TO SPEAK.BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEING DENIED THE RIGHT TO LIVE.If you can reblog funny cat videos or dumb memes, you can reblog this. Donate to those suffering, donate to those who cannot speak, and call Google the fuck out for their bullshit. : alithiasigma: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, GOOGLE?I know for a FACT that this video wasn’t a scam. Talented black artists contributed to it, approved of it, made it possible. The funds in the fundraiser went (and still go to) the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People). Is this post even going to show up on anyone’s dashboards? Am I going to get censored for speaking up about this? How many people have already seen what is going on and said something about it, only for their post to be taken down? This is the world we live in. This is the current internet climate. Net neutrality is gone, Trump is American’s president, and Jeff Bezos rules the market. Black people can’t even post their own art on Youtube as a fundraiser now. Silenced for attempting to provide a way to save the lives of their families, their friends, their communities. IS ANYONE SEEING THIS? BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEING DENIED THE RIGHT TO SPEAK.BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEING DENIED THE RIGHT TO LIVE.If you can reblog funny cat videos or dumb memes, you can reblog this. Donate to those suffering, donate to those who cannot speak, and call Google the fuck out for their bullshit. 
Save
crispy-ghee: 3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties.  His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often. Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame:  Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements. Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi:  Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father. Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard. : crispy-ghee: 3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties.  His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often. Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame:  Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements. Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi:  Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father. Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.
Save
wayfaringmd: populationpensive: wahtdahel: Most of the medical research was done on white males and their response to medicine. This is why medical books should only serve as a framework but clinical expertise matters more. And this is why we need more black doctors. There is a great instagram called Brown Skin Matters that has certified photos of different rashes and skin conditions. I find this VERY helpful. I just recently stumbled on it and it’s a nice, quick, resource.  My partner and I discussed this yesterday. There is also a Dermatology for Skin of Color textbook by Kelly and Taylor but it unfortunately doesn’t have a ton of pictures. When i used to have access, Visual Dx did make a decent attempt to include examples on darker skin tones, but it’s expensive and my hospital doesn’t pay for access to it anymore. Strongly recommend sending in clinical images to Brown Skin Matters Instagram, Figure 1, and other apps/websites if you have them and have patient permission. We need to build these databases. : wayfaringmd: populationpensive: wahtdahel: Most of the medical research was done on white males and their response to medicine. This is why medical books should only serve as a framework but clinical expertise matters more. And this is why we need more black doctors. There is a great instagram called Brown Skin Matters that has certified photos of different rashes and skin conditions. I find this VERY helpful. I just recently stumbled on it and it’s a nice, quick, resource.  My partner and I discussed this yesterday. There is also a Dermatology for Skin of Color textbook by Kelly and Taylor but it unfortunately doesn’t have a ton of pictures. When i used to have access, Visual Dx did make a decent attempt to include examples on darker skin tones, but it’s expensive and my hospital doesn’t pay for access to it anymore. Strongly recommend sending in clinical images to Brown Skin Matters Instagram, Figure 1, and other apps/websites if you have them and have patient permission. We need to build these databases.

wayfaringmd: populationpensive: wahtdahel: Most of the medical research was done on white males and their response to medicine. This is...

Save
inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D : inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
Save
soft-riddler: honeybuddhahoe: kosherdyke: sugarbutchy: twitblr: Rest in Power to Our Allies Who Risk Their Life Fighting With Us and For Our Rights https://www.clevelandjewishnews.com/news/local_news/osu-graduate-22-dies-after-attending-protests-in-columbus/article_dcadd6b2-a75d-11ea-94c3-e7751ddd6d55.html May her memory be a blessing Z"L it gets worse tho! the original person who reported this on twitter said she did NOT die of asthma related syptoms. Thats what they WANTED us to think!! she died bcause they sprayed so much tear gas in her face that she inhaled too much and DIED. HER DEATH WAS NOT CAUSED BY ASTHMA RELATED SYMPTOMS. Only tear gas. Solely tear gas. They murdered her. And remember not to say Rest In Peace for her. She was jewish. Say “may her memory be a blessing” like it says above. : soft-riddler: honeybuddhahoe: kosherdyke: sugarbutchy: twitblr: Rest in Power to Our Allies Who Risk Their Life Fighting With Us and For Our Rights https://www.clevelandjewishnews.com/news/local_news/osu-graduate-22-dies-after-attending-protests-in-columbus/article_dcadd6b2-a75d-11ea-94c3-e7751ddd6d55.html May her memory be a blessing Z"L it gets worse tho! the original person who reported this on twitter said she did NOT die of asthma related syptoms. Thats what they WANTED us to think!! she died bcause they sprayed so much tear gas in her face that she inhaled too much and DIED. HER DEATH WAS NOT CAUSED BY ASTHMA RELATED SYMPTOMS. Only tear gas. Solely tear gas. They murdered her. And remember not to say Rest In Peace for her. She was jewish. Say “may her memory be a blessing” like it says above.

soft-riddler: honeybuddhahoe: kosherdyke: sugarbutchy: twitblr: Rest in Power to Our Allies Who Risk Their Life Fighting With Us and...

Save