25+ Best Opener Memes | > > Emoticon Memes, Smalls Memes, Locks Memes

Tinder, Today, and Old: YOU MATCHED VW ON 3/12/19 It was my dog that convinced you to swipe right wasn't it? Today 10:17 PM bro I matched with you on my old tinder acc and you're using the same opener We’ve been busted boys, pack it up

We’ve been busted boys, pack it up

Brain, Free, and Gin: free @DarkKnightDummo an eye opener ICE YS OUZO DESTROYS 1 DESTROYS ICE GIN ICE DESTROYS THE BRAIN Lord Statty @stattydread Dont do ice

Dont do ice

Android, Blackpeopletwitter, and Shit: Lord Statty @stattydread his Ice shit is dangerous free @DarkKnightDummo an eye opener. DESTROYS THE LIVER WHISKEY ICE DESTROYS THE HEART DESTROYS THE BRAIN GIN ICE 22:54 27/02/2019 Twitter for Android 13.8K Retweets 39.1K Likes It ain’t alcohol that hurts you (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

Appalled, Cars, and Dank: They live among us My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at MacD's. We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since... I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE. My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee..... When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.' STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they breed, and they vote….... You now have 2 options... Delete it….. or Send it along to put a smile on someone's face today!. HAHAHAHAHAHA

My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c...

Android, Dank, and Memes: Lord Statty @stattydread his Ice shit is dangerous free @DarkKnightDummo an eye opener. DESTROYS THE LIVER WHISKEY ICE DESTROYS THE HEART DESTROYS THE BRAIN GIN ICE 22:54 27/02/2019 Twitter for Android 13.8K Retweets 39.1K Likes It ain’t alcohol that hurts you by Bendy_McBendyThumb MORE MEMES

Android, Shit, and Twitter: Lord Statty @stattydread his Ice shit is dangerous free @DarkKnightDummo an eye opener. DESTROYS THE LIVER WHISKEY ICE DESTROYS THE HEART DESTROYS THE BRAIN GIN ICE 22:54 27/02/2019 Twitter for Android 13.8K Retweets 39.1K Likes It ain’t alcohol that hurts you

Memes, 🤖, and Gender: Stand on the left if you think it's OkK for a woman to propose to a man. This social experiment hosted by @anniemacdj is a real eye-opener on gender equality 👀👏

Friends, Funny, and Sitcom: Every sitcom opener

Memes, Patriotic, and Superbowl: TABLISHE0 19 Who will the @SuperBowl champion @Patriots face in the season opener? Three potential possibilities: https://t.co/WKXyKoofn6 #SBLIII https://t.co/7VWrqweHSn

Who will the @SuperBowl champion @Patriots face in the season opener? Three potential possibilities: https://t.co/WKXyKoofn6 #SBLIII https:...

Anna, Clothes, and Crazy: $42% 14:45 Anna Today 12:10 I haven't seen you in forever Have you been visiting your fellow angels up in Heaven? Ps. Always wanted to use this as a text opener Are you my wallet? Because l want to fill you up Ps. I just had nothing to respond with so I saw my empty wallet. Today 13:00o Do you like vegetables, Because i like you from head tomatoesb At least something is empty Are you a salad, because l'd stay away from you until there was some meat in you Let's do some math. Add bed subtract clothes, divide legs, and multiply My tongue hasn't been to the gym in a while, mind sitting on my face and letting my tongue work out? Do you want to do 68? go down on you, and you owe you Are you my TV because i need to beat you to make you work Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause l can see myself in your pants! Let's recreate our parents lives I act like I love you, I get you pregnant and then go move to the middle East under a different identity Oh that would be lovely. When and where? They say your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body Want to fight? I'd like to request a handicap, my tongue isn't strong enough to fight your tongue, How about I fight your clit? Today 14:02 Did your license get suspended for driving all these tinder girls crazy? I think you should bulk up a bit,I can offer some of my protein to you Today 14:41 Would you f*ck a stranger? No? Then let me introduce myself, my name is Anna I also require a phone number before I fuck someone, consider that my engagement proposal Sent Type a message.... GIF The pick up line show down of 2019

Definitely, Doug, and New York: 2 Effigy of the Forgotten metalkilltheking: 1991. Effigy of the Forgotten is the debut album by band Suffocation, released in October 22. The cover artwork was created by Dan Seagrave.Suffocation was formed in 1988 on Long Island, New York, by vocalist Frank Mullen, bassist Josh Barohn, guitarists Guy Marchais and Todd German, and Barohn’s friend on drums.The album was dedicated to the memory of Atheist bassist Roger Patterson, who had been killed in a car crash earlier in 1991.Effigy of the Forgotten is considered to be one of the first death metal albums to have a highly sophisticated level of technical proficiency. The guitars are very low-end and down tuned whilst using a lot of tremolo picking and fast alternate picked notes alongside a lot of fast blast beats drumming and quick fills involved. It’s all very violent, Some passages are oddly catchy and most of the solos are awesome. The slam on the album’s opener is famous for being the first slam in death metal history, and it’s one of the best at it. In fact, the whole song serves as the sole highlight to this album. It’s simply great from start to finish, with the other songs trying to outdo what it did best, Definitely a classic that I recommend for the death metal fans looking for older albums.Frank Mullen Doug Cerrito Terrance Hobbs Josh Barohn Mike Smith

metalkilltheking: 1991. Effigy of the Forgotten is the debut album by band Suffocation, released in October 22. The cover artwork was creat...

Tumblr, Blog, and Free: awesomage:MULTIFUNCTION CUTTING TOOLEasily cuts glass, tiles, paper, foam, cables, sharpens knives, has a bottle opener, saws wood, etc.BUY NOW Get a Free Shipping

Birthday, Christmas, and Instagram: here's to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store s0manyfandoms: plink79: wild-andfluorescent: syddisheep: mistressofdarkness97: helly-watermelonsmellinfellon: bestviralposts: source/credit Kay, but listen. Nowhere in the USA have I managed to find my name on anything in a shop(usually have to get custom made shit), but I go to the Bahamas for my Senior Trip and my name was on a version of each item available. WTF? My mom had to spell my got damn name with a y…like why 😎🤣 I got my sister a wine bottle-shaped bottle opener this year for Christmas. She doesn’t drink wine. It was the first item we’ve found in 20 years that had her name on it. So she had to have it. My aunt got me a coke bottle made custom one year for my birthday. My name literally doesn’t exist. This used to be the case for people with made-up names, but nowadays the made-up names are seemingly more common. I can find Brayden and Jakxsen left right and centre, but good luck finding Robert or Steven. What’s more annoying is that it’s my generation who are to blame. My name is Finnish, a couple of years ago we went to Scandinavia and finally *finally* we found something with my name on it! Right now I want to change my name I am now looking for names because I want to change it

Hungry, Instagram, and Angels: CLAMS on the 5iDE l request three relics from thee, Sir Knight, before you may wed my daughter WWW.PATREON COM/CLAMSONTHESIDE Sire, I have brought you the Golden Shawl of Baneran from the depths of Hell Mountain. INSTAGRAM @CLAMSONTHESIDE Sire, I have brought you the Harp of a Thousand Angels RA from the Siren's Keep. Sire, uh...l have brought you the...uh Shiney Rock from the Hungry Dragon's Lair ⓒ wiLL DUDLA Can Opener

Can Opener

Head, Cross, and Ruler: SMALL FLAT HEAD SCREWDRIVER LINE CUTTER WIRE STRIPPER 1ARGE FLAT HEAD SCREWORIVER FILE NAIL PRY 30MN RULER 4MM HEX KEY MM HEX KEY SMM HEX KEY TMM HEX KET CROSS HEAD SCREWDRIVER BOTTLE OPENER BOX OPENER」 GENTLEMEN'S HARDWARE This 14-tools-in-1 key I was gifted today

This 14-tools-in-1 key I was gifted today

Memes, 🤖, and Human: LAD BIBL E My friend is a human tin opener...

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: Did you just refer to a knife as a "people opener"? -Should I not have? starsandsupernovae:insp [x]

starsandsupernovae:insp [x]

Fire, Memes, and 🤖: This bottle opener lets you fire your bottle caps at people that.exists

Best, Fuck, and Girl: Thursday 10:37 PM Damn girl are you a toaster? Because I wanna kill myself Wait fuck lmessed that up What I meant to say was Damn girl are you a toaster? Because l wanna take a bath with you Today 3:42 PM that was hands down the best opener I've ever heard never change Hahahaha

Asian, Gif, and Low Key: eeooo Virgin Mobile 11:52 pm Ok so firstly, you actually have a really cool name Secondly, you have a body so thickkkk that a straw wouldn't help me G) e Thirdly, I'm as cheeky as the devil, but twice as flirty Fourthly, for an asian you are so curvyyy that you make circles look straight Fithly, no I'm not a weirdo Sixthly you seem low key kinky Seventhly, if you're questioning if these numberings are real words, actually don't know Tue, 23 Oct, 9:27 pm You need help my guy Sent Tue, 23 Oct, 9:50 pm Wttffff, as if that wasn't a unique opener GIF Type a message Send Seriously, who talks like this?

Seriously, who talks like this?

Ass, Dumb, and Friends: from "Long Picture" Bailey 18 10 miles away let's b friends! interesting conversations only Imao Would you rather have a kid who is A) smart as fuck but kind of a dick B) super kind but dumb asl Today 6:43 PM fuck ur gonna hate me for this one haha Probably A Ok see that's I would've said Everyone chooses b Look, I'm trying to live in nice ass retirement home on the beach and no nice kid is gonna do that for me Holy shit but what if my kid is such a dick he doesn't care about me Today 7:41 PM Omggg I was thinking the same thingg But hell yea I'm tryna live large off my kid's check goodbye If he's ~kind~ of a dick like that means there's room for improvement?? Today 8:03 PM Don't we all have room for improvement Great opener that I got from a Myers Briggs quiz

Gif, Best, and Fuck: e LT *.il 23% D 3:51 PM Hobin Thursday 10:37 PM Damn girl are you a toaster? Because I wanna kill myself Wait fuck I messed that up What I meant to say was Damn girl are you a toaster? Because l wanna take a bath with you Today 3:42 PM that was hands down the best opener l've ever heard never change use that always GIF Type a message... Im in?

Tumblr, Blog, and Skull: novelty-gift-ideas: Skull Bottle Opener

novelty-gift-ideas: Skull Bottle Opener

Fucking, Tumblr, and Brooklyn: PG City weetaliix: itstenafterfour: antifasith: smolperalta: please watch brooklyn nine nine This was the best opener of the season please watch this gem of a show This was fucking hilarious so I will

Tumblr, Blog, and Skull: novelty-gift-ideas: Skull Bottle Opener

novelty-gift-ideas: Skull Bottle Opener

Cleveland, Home, and Lebron: SIAPLES Ce er IT WAS PLAY S HOME CLEVELAND Yes, we really brought “JR” and “TyLue” to LeBron’s opener 😂💀

Yes, we really brought “JR” and “TyLue” to LeBron’s opener 😂💀

Anthony Davis, New Orleans, and Davis: NEW ORLEANS 23 ANTHONY DAVIS FIRST PAIR OF TEAMMATES EVER WITH 30-POINTS AND 10-REBOUNDS EACH IN SEASON OPENER NIKOLA MIROTIC B R Rockets had no answer for the Pels frontcourt 😤

Rockets had no answer for the Pels frontcourt 😤

Milwaukee Bucks, Charlotte, and Charlotte Hornets: MILWAUKEE BUCKS CHARLOT 113 112 HORNET INAL FOX WHAT. A. FINISH. Milwaukee Bucks survive in season opener against Charlotte Hornets and overcome Kemba Walker's 41 PTS.

Halloween, How To, and Today: Kristina YOU MATCHED WITH KRISTINA ON 9/29/18 You're the only treat I want in my sack this Halloween Today 11:38 AM Trying to figure out how to take that Today 12:57 PM From behind? Sent I wonder why I never make it past the opener

I wonder why I never make it past the opener

Logic, Memes, and National Hockey League (NHL): tfw you hang three banners for one season and get shut out in your home opener @nhl_ref_logic IS REGULAR SEASON WESTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS 2017-18 PRESIDENTS TROPHY CENTRAL DIVISION CHAMPIONS 2017-18 2017-18 XTi GHT BRECK TaA CAP ADVI 38 FLAMES 27 SOG 3 FINAL PREDATORS0 43 SOG Should’ve just hung the Presidents Trophy banner and called it a day after that sick second round exit

Should’ve just hung the Presidents Trophy banner and called it a day after that sick second round exit

Life, Memes, and Time: LAD BIBL E Bottle opener has the time of his life on a rollercoaster 😂🎢

Ali, Dank, and Life: LAD BIBLE ALI Bottle opener has the time of his life on a rollercoaster 😂🎢 Twitter / SamfletcherEsq

Abraham Lincoln, Confidence, and Gif: YOU MATCHED WITH ON 9/30/18 If you could take 3 famous dead people with you to a party, who would you take? My self confidence, my emotional stability, and this conversation Today 10:19 PM I would take Abraham Lincoln, Nikolai Tesla, and your personality Sent Gi GIF Type a message Send I thought it was a good opener🤷🏻‍♂️

I thought it was a good opener🤷🏻‍♂️

Memes, Home, and Wolves: 30 HOME OPENER: OCTOBER 20 VS WOLVES! FOR TICKETS GO TO MAVS.COM UCKS meouts: 5 33 MAVERICKS 33 2nd Qtr 6:23 BONUS Timeouts: 6 👀 Luka Doncic showing off the handles in his #NBAPreseason debut! https://t.co/EYrtfA3nC0

Gif, Instagram, and Saw: 00:22 Lauren YOU MATCHED WITH LAUREN ON 15/09/2018 Hey, do you like bread? Today 00:19 Sometimes Follow up question Do you like being choked? Sent I saw this exact same opener on instagram earlier GIF Type a message Send It’s over, we ruined it

It’s over, we ruined it

Animals, Bad, and Cars: 366 WTNT41 KNHC 102055 TCDAT1 Hurricane Florence Discussion Number 46 NWS National Hurricane Center Miami FL 500 PM AST Mon Sep 10 2018 AL062018 Unfortunately, the models were right. Florence has rapidly intensifled into an extremely dangerous hurricane, with 30-second GOES-16 visible imagery showing well-defined eyewall mesovortices rotating inside of the eye. A NOAA Hurricane Hunter aircraft found peak SFMR winds of about 120 kt, with flight-level winds and dropsonde measurements also supporting that value for the initial wind speed estimate. Notably, the aircraft data also show the size of the hurricane-force winds has doubled in the past 12 hours thehmarie1089: your-reference-here: This is from the forecast discussion of Major Hurricane Florence from this afternoon. As a meteorologist, when I saw this, my heart sank. They don’t use wording like this for every storm. Florence is going to be a devastating. There will be huge amounts of flooding, both from inland rain and from costal storm surge. Winds are going to be some of the strongest you can get from a hurricane. People within the path of this storm could lose everything. If you know anyone who lives on the North or South Carolina coast, tell them that if there’s an evacuation ordered, they need to get the hell out. Do not take chances with this one. Reblogging again to add a list of things/essentials from a friend who lives on the NC coast and has weathered hurricanes and other bad weather: - toiletries (paper towels, toilet paper, baby wipes for “bathing” in case power water go out) - water, 1 gallon per person for at least 7 days (err on the side of caution if possible); more if you have animals!! - non perishable food items, if you get canned food make sure you have a can OPENER - pet food supplies, if you’re really worried about flooding it may be beneficial to get life vests for your pets, also find a way to put identification information on them! - batteries - flashlights - battery packs for cell phones charged up in case of loss of power - filled cars with gas filled gas can(s) - get all essentials like passports, important docs, and cherished items together ready to go - just in case, determine a way to get onto your roof safely - fill bathtubs with water so if water isn’t available you can refill the toilets to keep flushing and keep waste to a minimum - if you have dogs look up how to make a makeshift potty, you can use a hard baby pool and some sod potentially - check your prescriptions and get them refilled now if necessary - if you’re taking insulin and lose power, fill a separate cooler for your insulin than the one you would use for food. Insulin food If your place begins to flood get the hell OUT of the water!!! There is no telling if you have a live electrical charge in there! Do not cross any water you cannot see the bottom of the ground in. I’m serious. Read up on flash floods and common safety tips.

thehmarie1089: your-reference-here: This is from the forecast discussion of Major Hurricane Florence from this afternoon. As a meteorologis...

Memes, 🤖, and Another: WATT 90 4 SACKS TACKLES BLOCKED FG WK Another ridiculous season opener for @_TJWatt! #HaveADay #PITvsCLE #HereWeGo https://t.co/lXWJpMJqzr

Another ridiculous season opener for @_TJWatt! #HaveADay #PITvsCLE #HereWeGo https://t.co/lXWJpMJqzr

Memes, Washington Redskins, and Pool: 98 55 DI ZOBU AP Photo/Rob Schumacher, Pool @cindymccain was selected as the @azcardinals’ honorary team captain for their season opener against the @redskins on Sunday.

@cindymccain was selected as the @azcardinals’ honorary team captain for their season opener against the @redskins on Sunday.

Dank, Marriage, and Memes: MARRIAGE is BLISS THE CHEESE LIND I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOu COULD LET THIS HAPPEN HAVE LOST EDDIE'S SUNSCREEN I HAVE LOST IDON'T UNDERSTAND HOW You couLD LET THIS HAPPEN GRATER I HAVE LOST THE GARAGE DOOR OPENER. DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW You couLD LET THIS HAPPEN I HAVE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOu couLD LET THIS HAPPEN! MFW taking stock of the situation by mibcomix MORE MEMES

MFW taking stock of the situation by mibcomix MORE MEMES

Darth Vader, Pizza, and Twitter: WHAT Do THE BUTToNS oN DARTH VADER'S CHEST Do? ET HELMET OPENER CONTROL FoR BREATHING PROXIMITY DETECTOR CAFFEINE INJECTION AC ORDER PEPPERONI NEXTAM SoUND a FOLLOW ON TWITTER LIGHT SIDE/ DARK SIDE PIZZA PREVIOUS EM SWITCH TRACK El cuadro de mandos de Darth Vader

El cuadro de mandos de Darth Vader

Philadelphia Eagles, Memes, and 🤖: BREAKING .@NickFoles will start at QB for @Eagles in season opener: https://t.co/CtFw8u0yEd (via @RapSheet) https://t.co/bkFX4m7XgT

.@NickFoles will start at QB for @Eagles in season opener: https://t.co/CtFw8u0yEd (via @RapSheet) https://t.co/bkFX4m7XgT

Fifa, Memes, and Work: sa Hoffenheimhave installed agiant screen onto their training field to analyse opponents and work on mistakes in real time. TrollFootball TheTrollFootball_Insta fTrollFootball TheTrollFootball Insta 56:42 LEIPZIG Players have been usingitfor FIFA instead Pen Hoffenheim preparations are going well for the Bundesliga opener against Bayern München tonight 😅 https://t.co/mGpVOhTntd

Hoffenheim preparations are going well for the Bundesliga opener against Bayern München tonight 😅 https://t.co/mGpVOhTntd

Head, Love, and Dick: Today 10:02 AM If you can give head like my dick is the fountain of youth, then Tneed you to be my Ponce De Leon Today 11:36 AM I love it, 10/10 opener Thank u. I thought about it all day Today 11:55 AM What say we discover how effective the fountain of youth is together? Today 12:44 PM Sounds good to me! It'll be about a week until we can meet up, i'm going out of state next week, i hope that's okay Her bio said adorable girl gives head like your dick is the fountain of youth. I think Im in

Gif, Tinder, and Cool: .l Optus 4G 22:41 YOU MATCHED WIT 5/8/18 Hey Emma! I'm genuinely very new to tinder, can I ask what "share witha friend." Means? Cause if it's what I'm thinking, this app is pretty damn cool Sent Hahahhahhahahahahah I don't think it is what you're thinking I've never tried so idk GIF ype a message Send If you want an easy opener.

If you want an easy opener.

Lmao, School, and Good: Adriana 7:56 PM Hi 8:41 PM So I have one request since you're in law school. 9:20 PM I'm actually done w law school but go ahead You have to take my case pro bono if I get caught stealing your heart. 9:55 PM Lmao You've officially been blasted on like 3 of my group chats. How often have you used that one? It's pretty good I finally had a good opener of my own.

I finally had a good opener of my own.

Gif, Shit, and Soon...: Its a Match! Do you ever think about how if you put one piece of lasagna on top of another piece of lasagna, you still just have one piece of lasagna? Today 2:18 AM Can I see your penis GIF ype a message... G Thanks We 7 8 0 Q W E R T Y UIO P A S DF G H J K L 123 As soon as I dont give a shit about my opener.

Best, India, and Indianpeoplefacebook: WHEN ROHIT SHARMA WAS NOT PLAYING WELL IN ODI'S, MSD PROMOTED HIM AS AN OPENER & FROM THERE HE BECAME ONE OF THE WORLD'S BEST OPENERS INDIA WHO ELSE THINKS THAT ROHIT SHOULD OPEN IN TESTS TOO? ,回參/laughingcolours #RohitSharma #ViratKohli

#RohitSharma #ViratKohli

Clothes, Friends, and Gif: 4:1161% 9:55 PM Rose Today 9:01 PM Hi rose, I like that you wear clothes because I find the skin the most uncomfortable organ What is your least favorite organ? Today 9:35 PM Well that is officially the weirdest tinder opener l've gotton Type a message GIF I like to borrow my single friends phones and play on their tinderfigured it would be enjoyed.

I like to borrow my single friends phones and play on their tinderfigured it would be enjoyed.

Gif, Cocaine, and Girl: all Extended 8:49 AM Crystal YOU MATCHED WITH CRYSTAL ON 7/30/18 something about crack cocaine Today 8:37 AM What?!? I dont know i asked my buddy "what should I say to this girl" and he said "something about crack cocaine" so here we are Sent GIF Type a message Send Opener win

Opener win

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