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šŸ’…  Conceited Meme

šŸ•  Food Memes

šŸ§“  Life Memes

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šŸŒ¹  Roses Are Red Meme

Outta Memes

Life Is
Life Is
Dumpstered
Dumpstered
Starts
Starts
Outta Nowhere
Outta Nowhere
Here
Here
Im Outta Here
Im Outta Here
Outta Here
Outta Here
bright
bright
rko outta nowhere
rko outta nowhere
origin story
origin story 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


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        Get outta here.: Get outta here.
        

            
            

                
                
                    Get outta here.: Get outta here.
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Get outta here.

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        screaming-fan-girl:
plokool:

astahfrith:

sterekiel:

bioshock infinite is about to become reality

#nO BUT#WE TALKED ABOUT THIS IN ASTROBIO#BASICALLY VENUSā€™S ATMO IS LIVEAble#oxygen nitrogen some noble gases the whole shebang#and the only problem is the shITTON OF SULFURIC ACID COMING DOWN AS RAIN ALWAYS#and if you could create something secure and stable above the cloud layer but within the atmosphere#you could literally have people on venus without exosuits#and if you donā€™t think thatā€™s the coolest shit then geT OUTTA MY FACE#SPAAAAAACE
(TAGS VIA SKELETEEN-OFFICIAL)
THAT IS ONE OF THE COOLEST FUCKING THINGS I HAVE EVER HEARD


CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOU
: NASA Wants To Establish A Floating Cloud City To
 Study Venus
 While Mars may be all the rage right now, a team of NASA scientists has dreamed
 up an innovative concept that could eventually see humans permanently...
 IFLSCIENCE.COM
screaming-fan-girl:
plokool:

astahfrith:

sterekiel:

bioshock infinite is about to become reality

#nO BUT#WE TALKED ABOUT THIS IN ASTROBIO#BASICALLY VENUSā€™S ATMO IS LIVEAble#oxygen nitrogen some noble gases the whole shebang#and the only problem is the shITTON OF SULFURIC ACID COMING DOWN AS RAIN ALWAYS#and if you could create something secure and stable above the cloud layer but within the atmosphere#you could literally have people on venus without exosuits#and if you donā€™t think thatā€™s the coolest shit then geT OUTTA MY FACE#SPAAAAAACE
(TAGS VIA SKELETEEN-OFFICIAL)
THAT IS ONE OF THE COOLEST FUCKING THINGS I HAVE EVER HEARD


CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOU

        

            
            

                
                
                    screaming-fan-girl:
plokool:

astahfrith:

sterekiel:

bioshock infinite is about to become reality

#nO BUT#WE TALKED ABOUT THIS IN ASTROBIO#BASICALLY VENUSā€™S ATMO IS LIVEAble#oxygen nitrogen some noble gases the whole shebang#and the only problem is the shITTON OF SULFURIC ACID COMING DOWN AS RAIN ALWAYS#and if you could create something secure and stable above the cloud layer but within the atmosphere#you could literally have people on venus without exosuits#and if you donā€™t think thatā€™s the coolest shit then geT OUTTA MY FACE#SPAAAAAACE
(TAGS VIA SKELETEEN-OFFICIAL)
THAT IS ONE OF THE COOLEST FUCKING THINGS I HAVE EVER HEARD


CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOU
: NASA Wants To Establish A Floating Cloud City To
 Study Venus
 While Mars may be all the rage right now, a team of NASA scientists has dreamed
 up an innovative concept that could eventually see humans permanently...
 IFLSCIENCE.COM
screaming-fan-girl:
plokool:

astahfrith:

sterekiel:

bioshock infinite is about to become reality

#nO BUT#WE TALKED ABOUT THIS IN ASTROBIO#BASICALLY VENUSā€™S ATMO IS LIVEAble#oxygen nitrogen some noble gases the whole shebang#and the only problem is the shITTON OF SULFURIC ACID COMING DOWN AS RAIN ALWAYS#and if you could create something secure and stable above the cloud layer but within the atmosphere#you could literally have people on venus without exosuits#and if you donā€™t think thatā€™s the coolest shit then geT OUTTA MY FACE#SPAAAAAACE
(TAGS VIA SKELETEEN-OFFICIAL)
THAT IS ONE OF THE COOLEST FUCKING THINGS I HAVE EVER HEARD


CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOUD CITY CLOU

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, Iā€™m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And itā€™s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the worldā€™s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesnā€™t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they donā€™t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesnā€™t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or itā€™ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because itā€™s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

ā€œIf they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.ā€ No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because itā€™s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) ā€œOh no! What could have happened! How could this be!ā€ Do not let that expression fool you, they just donā€™t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

ā€œWow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.ā€ Yes, thank you. ā€œBut if theyā€™re so bad at literally everything, why havenā€™t they gone extinct.ā€ Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT ITā€™S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff thatā€™ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think itā€™s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of ā€œscratchingā€ 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like ā€œhuh okay they
 have a skill.ā€ Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because theyā€™re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them theyā€™re doing their best :(
: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, Iā€™m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And itā€™s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the worldā€™s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesnā€™t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they donā€™t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesnā€™t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or itā€™ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because itā€™s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

ā€œIf they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.ā€ No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because itā€™s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) ā€œOh no! What could have happened! How could this be!ā€ Do not let that expression fool you, they just donā€™t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

ā€œWow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.ā€ Yes, thank you. ā€œBut if theyā€™re so bad at literally everything, why havenā€™t they gone extinct.ā€ Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT ITā€™S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff thatā€™ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think itā€™s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of ā€œscratchingā€ 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like ā€œhuh okay they
 have a skill.ā€ Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because theyā€™re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them theyā€™re doing their best :(

        

            
            

                
                
                    youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, Iā€™m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And itā€™s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the worldā€™s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesnā€™t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they donā€™t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesnā€™t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or itā€™ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because itā€™s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

ā€œIf they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.ā€ No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because itā€™s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) ā€œOh no! What could have happened! How could this be!ā€ Do not let that expression fool you, they just donā€™t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

ā€œWow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.ā€ Yes, thank you. ā€œBut if theyā€™re so bad at literally everything, why havenā€™t they gone extinct.ā€ Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT ITā€™S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff thatā€™ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think itā€™s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of ā€œscratchingā€ 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like ā€œhuh okay they
 have a skill.ā€ Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because theyā€™re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them theyā€™re doing their best :(
: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, Iā€™m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And itā€™s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the worldā€™s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesnā€™t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they donā€™t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesnā€™t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or itā€™ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because itā€™s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

ā€œIf they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.ā€ No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because itā€™s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) ā€œOh no! What could have happened! How could this be!ā€ Do not let that expression fool you, they just donā€™t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

ā€œWow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.ā€ Yes, thank you. ā€œBut if theyā€™re so bad at literally everything, why havenā€™t they gone extinct.ā€ Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT ITā€™S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff thatā€™ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think itā€™s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of ā€œscratchingā€ 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like ā€œhuh okay they
 have a skill.ā€ Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because theyā€™re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them theyā€™re doing their best :(

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Tap to see the meme: generalgrievousdatingsim
 im reading about cowboy phrases and
 sayings and like 95% of them are just solid
 life advice
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 Things a Cowboy Should Not Do
 Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are
 funny cowboy sayings.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
 Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
 Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
 Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
 Never drive black cattle in the dark.
 Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
 like idk how accurate these are but somehow
 they manage to be both peak shitposting
 humor and genuinely helpful suggestions
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
 It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.
 If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
 Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
 Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
 Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket
 fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need
 to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM
 ifunny.co
Tap to see the meme
        

            
            

                
                
                    Tap to see the meme: generalgrievousdatingsim
 im reading about cowboy phrases and
 sayings and like 95% of them are just solid
 life advice
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 Things a Cowboy Should Not Do
 Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are
 funny cowboy sayings.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
 Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
 Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
 Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
 Never drive black cattle in the dark.
 Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
 like idk how accurate these are but somehow
 they manage to be both peak shitposting
 humor and genuinely helpful suggestions
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
 It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.
 If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
 Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
 Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
 Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket
 fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need
 to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM
 ifunny.co
Tap to see the meme
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Tap to see the meme: generalgrievousdatingsim
 im reading about cowboy phrases and
 sayings and like 95% of them are just solid
 life advice
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 Things a Cowboy Should Not Do
 Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are
 funny cowboy sayings.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
 Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
 Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
 Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
 Never drive black cattle in the dark.
 Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
 like idk how accurate these are but somehow
 they manage to be both peak shitposting
 humor and genuinely helpful suggestions
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
 It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.
 If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
 Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
 Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
 Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket
 fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need
 to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM
 ifunny.co
Tap to see the meme
        

            
            

                
                
                    Tap to see the meme: generalgrievousdatingsim
 im reading about cowboy phrases and
 sayings and like 95% of them are just solid
 life advice
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 Things a Cowboy Should Not Do
 Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are
 funny cowboy sayings.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
 Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
 Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
 Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
 Never drive black cattle in the dark.
 Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
 like idk how accurate these are but somehow
 they manage to be both peak shitposting
 humor and genuinely helpful suggestions
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
 It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.
 If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
 Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
 Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
 Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket
 fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need
 to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM
 ifunny.co
Tap to see the meme
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        idontgettechnology:

fireofthestars:


team-cap-for-the-win:

raevoryx:


capsgrantrogers:

Itā€™s low profile


Captain America: Civil WarĀ  (2016)


He got outta that thing like itā€™s a clown car


out of all the cars he could have chosen (and itā€™s canon that he knows how to steal modern cars) he picked the smallest, most uncomfortable car and stuffed in 3 grown ass beefy men. Incredible. Iā€™m surprised they went along with it.

I guess he assumed the authorities wouldnā€™t be looking for three big beefy men in a little bitty car. Thereā€™s a certain kind of logic to that. Mackie said he kept running it into the wall.


My favorite thing Mackie said about this car wasnā€™t just that Chris couldnā€™t drive it for shit, but also that no useable footage exists of Sebastian Stan getting out of the backseat because every time he tried, heā€™d get stuck and everyone on set completely lost their shit. 
: EVAGRAT
idontgettechnology:

fireofthestars:


team-cap-for-the-win:

raevoryx:


capsgrantrogers:

Itā€™s low profile


Captain America: Civil WarĀ  (2016)


He got outta that thing like itā€™s a clown car


out of all the cars he could have chosen (and itā€™s canon that he knows how to steal modern cars) he picked the smallest, most uncomfortable car and stuffed in 3 grown ass beefy men. Incredible. Iā€™m surprised they went along with it.

I guess he assumed the authorities wouldnā€™t be looking for three big beefy men in a little bitty car. Thereā€™s a certain kind of logic to that. Mackie said he kept running it into the wall.


My favorite thing Mackie said about this car wasnā€™t just that Chris couldnā€™t drive it for shit, but also that no useable footage exists of Sebastian Stan getting out of the backseat because every time he tried, heā€™d get stuck and everyone on set completely lost their shit. 

        

            
            

                
                
                    idontgettechnology:

fireofthestars:


team-cap-for-the-win:

raevoryx:


capsgrantrogers:

Itā€™s low profile


Captain America: Civil WarĀ  (2016)


He got outta that thing like itā€™s a clown car


out of all the cars he could have chosen (and itā€™s canon that he knows how to steal modern cars) he picked the smallest, most uncomfortable car and stuffed in 3 grown ass beefy men. Incredible. Iā€™m surprised they went along with it.

I guess he assumed the authorities wouldnā€™t be looking for three big beefy men in a little bitty car. Thereā€™s a certain kind of logic to that. Mackie said he kept running it into the wall.


My favorite thing Mackie said about this car wasnā€™t just that Chris couldnā€™t drive it for shit, but also that no useable footage exists of Sebastian Stan getting out of the backseat because every time he tried, heā€™d get stuck and everyone on set completely lost their shit. 
: EVAGRAT
idontgettechnology:

fireofthestars:


team-cap-for-the-win:

raevoryx:


capsgrantrogers:

Itā€™s low profile


Captain America: Civil WarĀ  (2016)


He got outta that thing like itā€™s a clown car


out of all the cars he could have chosen (and itā€™s canon that he knows how to steal modern cars) he picked the smallest, most uncomfortable car and stuffed in 3 grown ass beefy men. Incredible. Iā€™m surprised they went along with it.

I guess he assumed the authorities wouldnā€™t be looking for three big beefy men in a little bitty car. Thereā€™s a certain kind of logic to that. Mackie said he kept running it into the wall.


My favorite thing Mackie said about this car wasnā€™t just that Chris couldnā€™t drive it for shit, but also that no useable footage exists of Sebastian Stan getting out of the backseat because every time he tried, heā€™d get stuck and everyone on set completely lost their shit. 

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save