A Little
A Little

A Little

One You
One You

One You

Pantis
Pantis

Pantis

Fuck Is
Fuck Is

Fuck Is

bra panties
 bra panties

bra panties

corpses
 corpses

corpses

periodically
periodically

periodically

yours
yours

yours

pinkly
pinkly

pinkly

deserved
deserved

deserved

๐Ÿ”ฅ | Latest

Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Yโ€™all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of yโ€™all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and Iโ€™m thinking I might come for yโ€™all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp yโ€™all out completely. And I know what Iโ€™d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Yโ€™all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Yโ€™all ainโ€™t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah thatโ€™s basic. Mermaids? Bruv thatโ€™s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Whereโ€™s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she canโ€™t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (๐Ÿ˜) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like โ€œI know yโ€™all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night ๐Ÿ˜ข.โ€ Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But Iโ€™ll call it Mermaid Period because yโ€™all love it when these beverage companies are extra ๐Ÿค—). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peetโ€™s and Dark Matter - yโ€™all on notice. Bless up ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...

Bless Up, Chance the Rapper, and Life: u/Fio_Fiddlesworth ld imgur So my Mom sold one of her schnauzer puppies to an aspiring photographer DrSmashlove So u know how I said a few weeks ago that I tried all the healthy ice creams and I was done with them, and I was going back to real ice cream? About that. See there comes a time in yo life when u realize: u just ainโ€™t about that life. It come at different times for different people. Some of u pretty ladies go to music festivals. And yโ€™all got that friend Mandy. Mandy got a lil marketing gig in the city where she make a good wage. Went to a good school. Seem normal. But she different. U knew it when u hit Lollapalooza with her and watched her pop a Molly, pop three pills where she ainโ€™t even know what pills they are, some cool white kid in a Larry Bird jersey just handed them to yโ€™all so she took them, smoked a blunt, then snorted coke with that same kid in a port a potty. U seen her 15 min later vibing to Chance the Rapper while a lil bit of puke dribbled out the corner of her mouth while she looked around crazily and on that day, u had a realization: u ainโ€™t bout that life. Mandy? Bout that life. U? Not about that life ๐Ÿ˜‚. Thatโ€™s me with ice cream. I went to Mariano super market. Grabbed some Ben and Jerry Cookie Dough. Seen it had 60 grams fat - 1,120 calories-pint. Gently caressed my 6 pack over my t shirt. And reflected on the fact that Iโ€™m just not bout that life. So I copped some skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. Each one got 160 calories. I eat two to get satisfied and thatโ€™s plenty. I gotta eat seven them b!tches to equal one pint of Ben and Jerry. I used to be bigger. Had a 36 waist. Ate whatever I wanted. I canโ€™t go back to that place. Iโ€™m a new smash. U feel me? Iโ€™m in a different place. Iโ€™ll eat B + J once in a blue moon bc it (and Jeniโ€™s) are still the GOATs but for daily use, imma stick to these skinny cows. P.s. Skinny cow please make them rectangular with a paper (not plastic) cover. On the rare occasion my mama bought us a box of generic ice cream sandwiches, peeling the paper off as it sticks to the ice cream on the side and then liiiiiicking it up the side was the best part. The adult equivalent is peeling the panties off a woman, seeing them stick to the Nani, and liiiiiiiicking...well, yโ€™all get the point ๐Ÿค—. Bless up! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So u know how I said a few weeks ago that I tried all the healthy ice creams and I was done with them, and I was going back to real ice crea...

Ass, Fresh, and Girls: u/coltsfanca 16h imgur Two years ago today, Nala fell asleep on the scale at her first visit to the vet... l- So after my last caption I imeejally got a message from my lil homegirl saying โ€œCan we jus be honest about the fact that a clean punani is gonna taste the same at the beginning of the night and the end, regardless of freshening up ๐Ÿ˜‚. Like ur jus playin around right ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ‘€ . unless I hit the gym and run 3 miles i feel like it's pretty much the same.โ€ To which I replied: โ€œIf you been Wildin all night on rooftop bars with your girls on a hot breezy evening the Punani smell gon be shkronger โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜โ€ to which she replied โ€œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ even if I don't wear underwear ? asking for a friendโ€. See this is why I love my followers ๐Ÿ˜ yโ€™all constantly force to engage in critical thinking ๐Ÿค” and test my theories ๐Ÿ˜‚. Yes. Correct. Skirt or dress + no panties + showered Punani to start off with = this is what scientists call Convertible Nani the air circulation is such that the wind hits your smooth, freshly shaven legs and ricochets upward traveling northwardly betwixt the thighs gently kissing and caressing the Nani windwardly and (1) drying any accumulated moisture, and (2) whisking away any skrong marinade perfumery. I can actually attest to this. Itโ€™s fascinating. Basically if u play yo cards right and didnโ€™t drink a gallon of alcohol at the pre party to where u gotta pee nine times at the bar straddling that nasty ass God forsaken toilet, u can actually maintain a remarkably farm-fresh non-GMO organically local grown Nani. I stand corrected ๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So after my last caption I imeejally got a message from my lil homegirl saying โ€œCan we jus be honest about the fact that a clean punani is g...

Ass, Chicago, and Christmas: Little kiss on the chick Pic: reddit u/anonimverse Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u classy ladies say? "HOLD ON LEMME PEE ๐Ÿ˜". Ain't no pee, bruv. She already peed. She bout to go freshen up the Nani bc that's what u classy girls do, y'all interrupt the foreplay to make sure ya joint smell, look and taste splendiferous before we sliiiiiide that tung deep inside. "Hold on lemme pee"? That little three or four minutes when u waiting for her bruv? Thass Christmas Eve. Anything could happen. NBA 2K18. Jordan 11s. Nerf Machine Gun. U feel me? She might come out of there bucky nekky. She might come out with lingerie on. Full body MF fishnet body suit (I'm really out here y'all I done seen it all ๐ŸŒถ). Shout to u ladies bruv. Heightening the tension. Creating intrigue. I swear y'all the real MVP. P.s. If u in a hotel with a girl and u see the little wet folded up face towel shoved under the sink that's the Nani freshener towel (FYI) every girl got that ImOnToYouLadies ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚. P.p.s. Oh wait. Wait wait wait. Oh y'all thought I was done? Y'all thought I wasn't gon address them ladies that's gon go out to dinner ... drinks ... dancing for four hours ... after party ... and NOT stop me so she could freshen up the Nani before I go downtown James Brown? WELL GO HEAD ASF MAMI I FUX WITCHOE 12 HOUR MARINADE I'M FROM CHICAGO WE LOVE AGING THINGS 60 DAY AGED BONE-IN RIBEYE YES PLEASE THAT MUSKY, MUSHROOMY EARTHY PERFUMEY FRAGRANCE GET MY HEART RACING I AIN'T MAD AT YO NASTY ASS MAMA LEMME TASTE THE RAINBOW U BOUT TO BRING THE ANIMAL OUT REAL TALK FarmFreshDryAgedOrWetAged ItsAllWondrousToMe LemmeTasteIt AllOfIt BlessUp ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u cl...

5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631 >2746670273 My autistic tinder hookup be me, 19 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up > have a cold > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and retards were dtf > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?" > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny > she just says "yes" > don't reply for a few hours > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big dick > I am confused and assure her that I do not > she says she wants to be penetrated > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school > the school is a community college > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should fuck her > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and the students were all ignorant > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the middle east > I watch it for some reason > she starts talking about us fucking again > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10 minutes tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways > she sends me her address Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470) s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours > I shower and finally leave at like 11 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my tires > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy -1/--Hime > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out) > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck finally leave, put air in my tires > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me > avoid eye contact and leave > still nervous as fuck and without phone service > drive around her town not knowing what to do >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again > head to her house once again, lose service >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors are outside for some reason > not sure what to do or where to park drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone > luckily have service and can message her > tell her ive arrived > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door she tells me to just walk in > tell her that sounds sketchy > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed > decide fuck it, ill walk in > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything > I wave like the autist I am to them > they don't react > just walk in, my heart is pounding > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever she grabs me and leads me through her dark house > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan there's a huge mirror in front of her bed > Christmas lights all over her room > she lays down > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do > just make small-talk about her neighbors she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?" > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs > she tells me to eat her out > I have no idea how to pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319) 2-746666831 >-746669345 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath > losing my boner minutes losing my boner > I get up and take my condom off > she starts sucking my dick her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had diarrhea she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed > the mattresses start to spread apart >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them > I get back on top go for a few more minutes until I almost die she asks whyI keep getting so tired fuck her > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick we lay around talking about stuff for a while >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger > she sits on my dick while telling random stories tells me about how she was molested as a child probably giving me herpes > child starts knocking on door, crying > she yells at him to get back to bed > we get back to sex after 45 minutes try a few more positions > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum > not sure what to do or say or where to cum > start to cum on her chest she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking > she says she planned on continuing > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably cum in my urethra Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535ยท File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131) 746667711 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's moaning "seel See!" > ask her "see what? > she says "no, Spanish" > Im a retard > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and hot now she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas > I don't fucking know > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember >she came at least once, not sure how I did it >I just want to get another nut off > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist > get dressed, go for a hug she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close >say bye, leave > drive home for over an hour >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant > probably have herpes > just want to go home and shower and sleep > have never felt so dead inside >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work >go to sleep without showering > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant struggling to cum Anon gets laid

Anon gets laid

Bodies , Comfortable, and Drinking: What to do when youre trans boyfriend is on his period . make sure he is very comfortable and very warm .make sure he's wearing just his underwear (panties or briefs, no boxers) and a loose t-shirt. It may be tough, but make him comfortable enough to get out of his binder as that will make him throw up/hurt more make sure he has chocolate (dark chocolate works best) no caffeine. Hot decaf tea is amazing . keep them drinking hot liquids for as long as possible Rub their tummies, put a good amount of pressure, like hand kneading dough, in the space beneath their belly buttorn hot rice bags. put all of their blankets in the dryer before bed kiss their faces a lot, do this tenderly and softly . . . make sure that they feel masculine and okay. This is a big reminder that their bodies are wrong and that they are not in the right place. You are the right place for them to be, so you have to make sure they are feeling safe and secure, mentally and physically If they can, keep them walking/working out. Walking relieves cramps, as does sit ups. If the pain is too much this is not possible. make sure they eat. A lot of people on their periods do not feel hungry but they need to eat something. Make sure it's a light and not too filling meal so it doesnt give them a stomach ache Ugh cooking stuff takes too much effort. I can't be a r S e d to preheat the oven or wait for things to be edible. I'm just gonna chow down on some frozen chicken nuggets -Chance ๐ŸŒธ

Ugh cooking stuff takes too much effort. I can't be a r S e d to preheat the oven or wait for things to be edible. I'm just gonna chow down ...