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trans-mom: Claim: “Trans” is short for “transition.” The Truth: “Trans” is short for “transgender.” It is just a descriptor of a person’s gender. Claim: You must experience dysphoria in order to be trans. The Truth: Incorrect. Dysphoria is an old, outdated term that’s been redefined over time to cover new specific needs. Despite its constant redefining, it’s still not an all encompassing descriptor for all trans people. Claim: You must pursue hrt and surgery to be trans. The Truth: Incorrect. There are a variety of reasons why someone wouldn’t want to have hrt or surgery, all of them valid. Claim: If you’re trans, you’d show very specific signs as a child. / All trans people knew they were trans since a young age. The Truth: A lot of trans people do not possess obvious signs of their transhood as children. Lots of people discover themselves later in life. Your age does not dictate your transhood.  Claim: Transition is solely defined by hrt or surgery. The Truth: Transition begins from the moment you feel you’re trans and need to alter things in your life. Transition isn’t only medical. It’s also social, but most of all it’s personal. Something like making a plan to come out in the future is part of your transition. Claim: You have to come out to everyone. The Truth: That’s personal information you owe no one.  Claim: Most trans people detransition. The Truth: Detransitioning is rare. And in most cases it’s because of financial and safety (read: bigoted harm) reasons. The claim that most trans people detransition is based on an old study where the kids were exposed to anti-lgbt rhetoric and when people didn’t return his calls he marked them as “detransitioned.” The amount of people who detransition cuz they “weren’t trans” is extremely rare. Claim: Being on hrt will make you more depressed. The Truth: Incorrect. Statistics show that the majority of trans people’s lives improve with hrt. What actually would cause depression is the constant harassment and harm from bigots, often times from the same people who told you hrt will make you depressed. Hrt itself is documented to improve the quality of life. Claim: You don’t need hrt. There are pills on the market made from natural means that will give you the same result without a prescription. The Truth: This is not only false, but it’s a money making scheme meant to exploit your lack of easy access to hrt. These pills will not work, they will actually have the opposite effect, and they cost the same as obtaining hrt without a prescription on average. Claim: You absolutely must have a prescription for hrt. It’s illegal to get it without and you’ll die if you don’t have proper understanding. The Truth: Morality isn’t dictated by legality. And, though some dangers exist with self medicating with no knowledge, as someone that did self medicated hrt it’s not impossible for you to get educated. Testosterone poses more legal risks and you need to be sure what you’re getting is the real deal with T, but the need to do things this way is a sign the system is broken - not that there’s something wrong with the people doing it. For information about feminizing hormones, go here. For information about masculinizing hormones, go here. Claim: You can get hrt through Planned Parenthood. The Truth: Accurate! Planned Parenthood does offer hrt on an informed consent basis in some places. This is not true to everywhere so maybe call them or check their own web site about it before just dropping in. Smallangryandtired did an excellent write up on how to do the process here.  However, as I said, they do not offer it in all locations. The main path a lot of people take is going to a therapist for a session or two and getting a letter from said therapist approving you for hrt and taking that to a doctor (who in turn usually recommends you to a specialist). Claim: After a certain age, there’s no point to do hrt. It won’t have the same effect. The Truth: That is a lie. Hrt will work no matter your age. Claim: You can be too young for hrt and puberty blockers are dangerous. The Truth: That is also a lie. Lots of people have known they’re trans since they were kids and refusing them treatment is child abuse. If a doctor deems a kid too young for hrt, the alternative is puberty blockers because they are not harmful to the child at all. Despite what anti-lgbt groups want you to believe, there is no danger to puberty blockers. Claim: There are only two genders. / Nonbinary people don’t exist. / Biological sex dictates gender. The Truth: The biological sex you know is only truly representative of gender stereotypes. The truth is that, biologically speaking, there are more than two sexes and the only true way to identify such is through karyotypes. Third genders and nonbinary genders have existed through out history, it is not new. The greatest minds in science have time and time again repeated this information, that sex isn’t a binary, that nonbinary people exist, that trans women are really women, trans men are men, and that nonbinary people are nonbinary. Even Bill Nye has said this. Claim: Things like “stargender” or “noungender” are ruining the representation of the trans community. / “Noungender” is just children trying to get attention and are not actually trans. / People using neopronouns or nounself pronouns are not really trans. The Truth: This in inaccurate and often times either a bullying tactic towards those who are different, or transphobic people using such to isolate a group of trans people. Some people do not fit into the binary or gender nor feel like they’re in any defined nonbinary genders. So they’ll define themselves with words and terms they enjoy. It’s no different from you feeling more comfort from being called “he” versus “she.”  And, in the off chance it is someone just seeking attention. It doesn’t matter. Let them have their fun. They’re not ruining anything calling themselves spacegender on tumblr dot com. Claim: There are people faking being trans to fit into a crowd. / The entire concept of “transtrenders.” The Truth: Not true. This is just age old blatant “you’re faking” transphobia.  Claim: Trans people on hrt or post-op can not experience sexual enjoyment. The Truth: Both will change your body’s entire response to sex. Your enjoyment doesn’t disappear, the entire process just changes to something different. This inaccuracy is spread by transphobes on average and isn’t remotely true. Claim: Trans people have a high rate of suicide. The Truth: I’m sorry to say that trans people are under the stress of discrimination from all angles, and on top of other stresses or discriminations one may experience, it leads us into suicidal ideation. But, that’s why we need to stick together and help each other out. If you’re trans and considering suicide, consider the following: National Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255 Trans Lifeline USA:  1-877-565-8860 Trans Lifeline Canada: 1-877-330-6366 The Trevor Project Hotline:  1-866-488-7386 The Trevor Project also offers texting and chat You deserve to live your life. I promise you you’re strong enough to get through this. : trans-mom: Claim: “Trans” is short for “transition.” The Truth: “Trans” is short for “transgender.” It is just a descriptor of a person’s gender. Claim: You must experience dysphoria in order to be trans. The Truth: Incorrect. Dysphoria is an old, outdated term that’s been redefined over time to cover new specific needs. Despite its constant redefining, it’s still not an all encompassing descriptor for all trans people. Claim: You must pursue hrt and surgery to be trans. The Truth: Incorrect. There are a variety of reasons why someone wouldn’t want to have hrt or surgery, all of them valid. Claim: If you’re trans, you’d show very specific signs as a child. / All trans people knew they were trans since a young age. The Truth: A lot of trans people do not possess obvious signs of their transhood as children. Lots of people discover themselves later in life. Your age does not dictate your transhood.  Claim: Transition is solely defined by hrt or surgery. The Truth: Transition begins from the moment you feel you’re trans and need to alter things in your life. Transition isn’t only medical. It’s also social, but most of all it’s personal. Something like making a plan to come out in the future is part of your transition. Claim: You have to come out to everyone. The Truth: That’s personal information you owe no one.  Claim: Most trans people detransition. The Truth: Detransitioning is rare. And in most cases it’s because of financial and safety (read: bigoted harm) reasons. The claim that most trans people detransition is based on an old study where the kids were exposed to anti-lgbt rhetoric and when people didn’t return his calls he marked them as “detransitioned.” The amount of people who detransition cuz they “weren’t trans” is extremely rare. Claim: Being on hrt will make you more depressed. The Truth: Incorrect. Statistics show that the majority of trans people’s lives improve with hrt. What actually would cause depression is the constant harassment and harm from bigots, often times from the same people who told you hrt will make you depressed. Hrt itself is documented to improve the quality of life. Claim: You don’t need hrt. There are pills on the market made from natural means that will give you the same result without a prescription. The Truth: This is not only false, but it’s a money making scheme meant to exploit your lack of easy access to hrt. These pills will not work, they will actually have the opposite effect, and they cost the same as obtaining hrt without a prescription on average. Claim: You absolutely must have a prescription for hrt. It’s illegal to get it without and you’ll die if you don’t have proper understanding. The Truth: Morality isn’t dictated by legality. And, though some dangers exist with self medicating with no knowledge, as someone that did self medicated hrt it’s not impossible for you to get educated. Testosterone poses more legal risks and you need to be sure what you’re getting is the real deal with T, but the need to do things this way is a sign the system is broken - not that there’s something wrong with the people doing it. For information about feminizing hormones, go here. For information about masculinizing hormones, go here. Claim: You can get hrt through Planned Parenthood. The Truth: Accurate! Planned Parenthood does offer hrt on an informed consent basis in some places. This is not true to everywhere so maybe call them or check their own web site about it before just dropping in. Smallangryandtired did an excellent write up on how to do the process here.  However, as I said, they do not offer it in all locations. The main path a lot of people take is going to a therapist for a session or two and getting a letter from said therapist approving you for hrt and taking that to a doctor (who in turn usually recommends you to a specialist). Claim: After a certain age, there’s no point to do hrt. It won’t have the same effect. The Truth: That is a lie. Hrt will work no matter your age. Claim: You can be too young for hrt and puberty blockers are dangerous. The Truth: That is also a lie. Lots of people have known they’re trans since they were kids and refusing them treatment is child abuse. If a doctor deems a kid too young for hrt, the alternative is puberty blockers because they are not harmful to the child at all. Despite what anti-lgbt groups want you to believe, there is no danger to puberty blockers. Claim: There are only two genders. / Nonbinary people don’t exist. / Biological sex dictates gender. The Truth: The biological sex you know is only truly representative of gender stereotypes. The truth is that, biologically speaking, there are more than two sexes and the only true way to identify such is through karyotypes. Third genders and nonbinary genders have existed through out history, it is not new. The greatest minds in science have time and time again repeated this information, that sex isn’t a binary, that nonbinary people exist, that trans women are really women, trans men are men, and that nonbinary people are nonbinary. Even Bill Nye has said this. Claim: Things like “stargender” or “noungender” are ruining the representation of the trans community. / “Noungender” is just children trying to get attention and are not actually trans. / People using neopronouns or nounself pronouns are not really trans. The Truth: This in inaccurate and often times either a bullying tactic towards those who are different, or transphobic people using such to isolate a group of trans people. Some people do not fit into the binary or gender nor feel like they’re in any defined nonbinary genders. So they’ll define themselves with words and terms they enjoy. It’s no different from you feeling more comfort from being called “he” versus “she.”  And, in the off chance it is someone just seeking attention. It doesn’t matter. Let them have their fun. They’re not ruining anything calling themselves spacegender on tumblr dot com. Claim: There are people faking being trans to fit into a crowd. / The entire concept of “transtrenders.” The Truth: Not true. This is just age old blatant “you’re faking” transphobia.  Claim: Trans people on hrt or post-op can not experience sexual enjoyment. The Truth: Both will change your body’s entire response to sex. Your enjoyment doesn’t disappear, the entire process just changes to something different. This inaccuracy is spread by transphobes on average and isn’t remotely true. Claim: Trans people have a high rate of suicide. The Truth: I’m sorry to say that trans people are under the stress of discrimination from all angles, and on top of other stresses or discriminations one may experience, it leads us into suicidal ideation. But, that’s why we need to stick together and help each other out. If you’re trans and considering suicide, consider the following: National Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255 Trans Lifeline USA:  1-877-565-8860 Trans Lifeline Canada: 1-877-330-6366 The Trevor Project Hotline:  1-866-488-7386 The Trevor Project also offers texting and chat You deserve to live your life. I promise you you’re strong enough to get through this.

trans-mom: Claim: “Trans” is short for “transition.” The Truth: “Trans” is short for “transgender.” It is just a descriptor of a person’s...

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natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely : Baked AlaskaTM @bakedalaska Netflix announced a new anti- white show (Dear White People) that promotes white genocide. I cancelled my account, do the same. #NoNetflix NETFLIX Browse Kids DVD Your Membership is Canceled An email confirmation will be sent to timothytreadstone@icloud.com. Back to Account Baked AlaskaTM abakedalaska OK WHO TF SIGNED ME UP FOR PLANNED PARENTHOODD THAT IS TOO FAR!!! i nanks Tor signing up: Today at 1:32 PM From: Maurice Smith To: Timothy Treadstne> Dear Tim MS Hide Planned Parenthood Care. No matter what Today at 1:42 PM Dear Timothy Eat a dick Thank you for joining Planned Parenthood's online network, Planned Parenthood is a visible and passionate advocate for policies that enable Americans to access Sent from my iPhone become part or a movement. Today at 1:44 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIG N We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: Hello! I'm Triagered" 2/8/17, 4:30 PM From: Netflix Executive NE To: Timothy Treadstone> Hide Our Apologies Mr. Treadstone Today at 1:01 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: "I'm Triggered" "Everything Should Be for Me" "I Think I know the Content of a Show Without Watching It" "I Think Transformers Promotes Human Genocide, But I Still Like It Because I Want to Fuck A Truck" natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely
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femestella: Planned Parenthood recently announced the ousting of Dr. Leana Wen as their President after less than a year. The news was just as much a shock to Dr. Wen as it was to the public, it seemed. According to all available reports as well as inside sources, it’s clear that there were many reasons why Dr. Wen was let go. Management issues, a lack of leadership, and a refusal to use trans-inclusive language have all been cited as reasons why Dr. Wen was asked to leave so quickly into her tenure (the last one is particularly disturbing). But what it all comes down to is that Planned Parenthood and Dr. Wen have extremely different philosophies on abortion advocacy. Continue reading here : Dr. Leana Wen Was Never Going to Be the Right Fit For Planned Parenthood MOST READ 12 I STAND WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD Leonardo DiCaprio's Dating Habits Are Grossing People Out And For Good Reason SAVED LIFE I STAND WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD Pervert Tries to Sexualize Billie Eilish, Twitter Takes Him Down ATE ND 'The Bachelorette' Chris Harrison Dishes On Jed's Red Flags And Why He's Team Tyler C I STAND WITH PLANNE PAREN NED THOOD 5 Women on What It's Like to Be Raped by a Boyfriend SMARTI Please Stop Body-Shaming Kylie Jenner femestella: Planned Parenthood recently announced the ousting of Dr. Leana Wen as their President after less than a year. The news was just as much a shock to Dr. Wen as it was to the public, it seemed. According to all available reports as well as inside sources, it’s clear that there were many reasons why Dr. Wen was let go. Management issues, a lack of leadership, and a refusal to use trans-inclusive language have all been cited as reasons why Dr. Wen was asked to leave so quickly into her tenure (the last one is particularly disturbing). But what it all comes down to is that Planned Parenthood and Dr. Wen have extremely different philosophies on abortion advocacy. Continue reading here

femestella: Planned Parenthood recently announced the ousting of Dr. Leana Wen as their President after less than a year. The news was ju...

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femestella: Planned Parenthood recently announced the ousting of Dr. Leana Wen as their President after less than a year. The news was just as much a shock to Dr. Wen as it was to the public, it seemed. According to all available reports as well as inside sources, it’s clear that there were many reasons why Dr. Wen was let go. Management issues, a lack of leadership, and a refusal to use trans-inclusive language have all been cited as reasons why Dr. Wen was asked to leave so quickly into her tenure (the last one is particularly disturbing). But what it all comes down to is that Planned Parenthood and Dr. Wen have extremely different philosophies on abortion advocacy. Continue reading here : Dr. Leana Wen Was Never Going to Be the Right Fit For Planned Parenthood MOST READ 12 I STAND WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD Leonardo DiCaprio's Dating Habits Are Grossing People Out And For Good Reason SAVED LIFE I STAND WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD Pervert Tries to Sexualize Billie Eilish, Twitter Takes Him Down ATE ND 'The Bachelorette' Chris Harrison Dishes On Jed's Red Flags And Why He's Team Tyler C I STAND WITH PLANNE PAREN NED THOOD 5 Women on What It's Like to Be Raped by a Boyfriend SMARTI Please Stop Body-Shaming Kylie Jenner femestella: Planned Parenthood recently announced the ousting of Dr. Leana Wen as their President after less than a year. The news was just as much a shock to Dr. Wen as it was to the public, it seemed. According to all available reports as well as inside sources, it’s clear that there were many reasons why Dr. Wen was let go. Management issues, a lack of leadership, and a refusal to use trans-inclusive language have all been cited as reasons why Dr. Wen was asked to leave so quickly into her tenure (the last one is particularly disturbing). But what it all comes down to is that Planned Parenthood and Dr. Wen have extremely different philosophies on abortion advocacy. Continue reading here

femestella: Planned Parenthood recently announced the ousting of Dr. Leana Wen as their President after less than a year. The news was ju...

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transpocsuggestion: plannedparenthood:We mourn. We remember.  We stand with the LGBTQ community against hate and violence. [Image Description: white text on a dark gray square image. A rainbow heart shape with a rainbow tail is in the upper right hand corner. Beginning in the upper left hand corner, the title reads “In loving memory of the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting on June 12, 2016.” Directly below the title are the full names of the victims in two columns of smaller text. In the lower right hand corner of the image is the Planned Parenthood logo in white.]: In loving memory of the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting on June 12, 2016. Stanley Almodovar IlI Amanda Alvear Oscar A Aracena-Montero Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala Antonio Davon Brown Darryl Roman Burt Il Angel L. Candelario-Padro Juan Chavez-Martinez Luis Daniel Conde Cory James Connell Tevin Eugene Crosby Deonka Deidra Drayton Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez Leroy Valentin Fernandez Mercedez Marisol Flores Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz Juan Ramon Guerrero Paul Terrell Henry Frank Hernandez Miquel Angel Honorato Javier Jorge-Reye:s Jason Benjamin Josaphat Eddie Jamoldroy Justice Anthony Luis Laureanodisla Christopher Andrew Leinonen Aleiandro Barrios Martinez Brenda Lee Marquez McCool Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez Kimberly Morris Akyra Monet Murray Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera Joel Rayon Paniaqua Jean Carlos Mendez Perez Enrique L. Rios, Jr. Jean C. Nieves Rodriquez Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan Edward Sotomayor Jr. Shane Evan Tomlinson Martin Benitez Torres Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega Juan P. Rivera Velazquez Luis S. Vielma Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon Jerald Arthur Wright (R transpocsuggestion: plannedparenthood:We mourn. We remember.  We stand with the LGBTQ community against hate and violence. [Image Description: white text on a dark gray square image. A rainbow heart shape with a rainbow tail is in the upper right hand corner. Beginning in the upper left hand corner, the title reads “In loving memory of the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting on June 12, 2016.” Directly below the title are the full names of the victims in two columns of smaller text. In the lower right hand corner of the image is the Planned Parenthood logo in white.]

transpocsuggestion: plannedparenthood:We mourn. We remember.  We stand with the LGBTQ community against hate and violence. [Image Descr...

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natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely : Baked AlaskaTM @bakedalaska Netflix announced a new anti- white show (Dear White People) that promotes white genocide. I cancelled my account, do the same. #NoNetflix NETFLIX Browse Kids DVD Your Membership is Canceled An email confirmation will be sent to timothytreadstone@icloud.com. Back to Account Baked AlaskaTM abakedalaska OK WHO TF SIGNED ME UP FOR PLANNED PARENTHOODD THAT IS TOO FAR!!! i nanks Tor signing up: Today at 1:32 PM From: Maurice Smith To: Timothy Treadstne> Dear Tim MS Hide Planned Parenthood Care. No matter what Today at 1:42 PM Dear Timothy Eat a dick Thank you for joining Planned Parenthood's online network, Planned Parenthood is a visible and passionate advocate for policies that enable Americans to access Sent from my iPhone become part or a movement. Today at 1:44 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIG N We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: Hello! I'm Triagered" 2/8/17, 4:30 PM From: Netflix Executive NE To: Timothy Treadstone> Hide Our Apologies Mr. Treadstone Today at 1:01 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: "I'm Triggered" "Everything Should Be for Me" "I Think I know the Content of a Show Without Watching It" "I Think Transformers Promotes Human Genocide, But I Still Like It Because I Want to Fuck A Truck" natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely
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liberaljane: Consent to sex isn’t consent to parenthood. ⭐️ Pregnancy and childbirth aren’t things women and people are punished with for their ‘sinful choice’ to have sex. While most ‘pro-life’ rhetoric centers the pregnant person as the person who must “take responsibility” for their actions, it misses the fact that pregnant women and people are autonomous and capable of making our own informed reproductive decisions. ✨ The choice to become a parent should be just that, a choice. ❤️ Art by Liberal Jane Literally the only people I see treating pregnancy like a “punishment“ are pro-choicers. And fuck yes you’re supposed to take responsibility for your actions. Sex can lead to pregnancy. If you’re not prepared to be pregnant, you should think twice about having sex. I didn’t think I’d have to explain ninth grade biology to you.: PREGNANCY & GHILDBURTH AREN'T PUNISHMENTS FOR HAVING SEX 0 2s liberaljane: Consent to sex isn’t consent to parenthood. ⭐️ Pregnancy and childbirth aren’t things women and people are punished with for their ‘sinful choice’ to have sex. While most ‘pro-life’ rhetoric centers the pregnant person as the person who must “take responsibility” for their actions, it misses the fact that pregnant women and people are autonomous and capable of making our own informed reproductive decisions. ✨ The choice to become a parent should be just that, a choice. ❤️ Art by Liberal Jane Literally the only people I see treating pregnancy like a “punishment“ are pro-choicers. And fuck yes you’re supposed to take responsibility for your actions. Sex can lead to pregnancy. If you’re not prepared to be pregnant, you should think twice about having sex. I didn’t think I’d have to explain ninth grade biology to you.
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Very planned Parenthood: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
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jessipumpkinhead: supaslim: lexxgotthejuice: localstarboy: Trump is so bad that SATANISTS are protesting him. Devil worshipers are trying to protect us from this man lmao this real life Lmaooo yo this seemed so unreal okay okay but listen satanists WOULD be anti-Trump satanists are, for the most part, just secular humanists (mostly atheists) with a flair for the dramatic. They are, on average, very left-leaning. The Satanic Temple in particular is a great organization. They don’t believe religious organizations should be tax exempt, so they voluntarily pay taxes. They also sell merch and give a good chunk of the proceeds to things like Planned Parenthood and legal funds that fight for division of church and state. Fuck, this is straight from their website:  “The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people. In addition, we embrace practical common sense and justice.” satanism is not bad or evil I feel like more people should know this : jessipumpkinhead: supaslim: lexxgotthejuice: localstarboy: Trump is so bad that SATANISTS are protesting him. Devil worshipers are trying to protect us from this man lmao this real life Lmaooo yo this seemed so unreal okay okay but listen satanists WOULD be anti-Trump satanists are, for the most part, just secular humanists (mostly atheists) with a flair for the dramatic. They are, on average, very left-leaning. The Satanic Temple in particular is a great organization. They don’t believe religious organizations should be tax exempt, so they voluntarily pay taxes. They also sell merch and give a good chunk of the proceeds to things like Planned Parenthood and legal funds that fight for division of church and state. Fuck, this is straight from their website:  “The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people. In addition, we embrace practical common sense and justice.” satanism is not bad or evil I feel like more people should know this
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