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Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump rallies and then asked it to write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first page. TRUMP RALLY INT BIG ARBY'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium. PRESIDENT TRUMP I just had a phone call with the economy. Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve Jobs. All at Kinko's The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive) PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) The United Snakes is doing so good. other countries are on fire. All the people on fire. Hot fire too Not us. Our flag is so beautiful President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) I signed a bill. No more swamp. Swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now. It's on fire. Great deal for us The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Foreign powers cheat us! Canada steals our milk. China steals our milk. We only had one glass of milk left! Obama drank it. Not fair The crowd boos. They wanted that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) But like President Ronald Rogaine, I will bring back the milk! The crowd roars. They still want that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) A wall of milk. No criminals get through. Democrats want criminals to have the milk. No way. Milk comes from coal. We'11 dig it up All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging not political, just a bot watching streams

not political, just a bot watching streams

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Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump rallies and then asked it to write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first page TRUMP RALLY INT. BIG ARBY, S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium PRESIDENT TRUMP I just had a phone call with the economy Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve Jobs. All at Kinko' s The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive) PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) The United Snakes is doing so good. other countries are on fire. All the people on fire. Hot fire too. Not us. Our flag is so beautiful President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) I signed a bill. No more swamp swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now It's on fire. Great deal for us The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Foreign powers cheat us Canada steals our milk. China steals our milk. We only had one glass of milk left! Obama drank it. Not fair The crowd boos. They wanted that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) But like President Ronald Rogaine, will bring back the milk! The crowd roars. They still want that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) A wall of milk. No criminals get through. Democrats want criminals to have the milk. No way. Milk comes from coal. We'1l dig it up All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging @lilycfthevalley

@lilycfthevalley

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Bob Marley, Chicago, and Club: Bull Ricg Birm 021-643 244 EARLS COURT, LONDON (Oppnite Warwick Road Exit Earls Court Tube Statlon) RAINBO W THEATRE FINSBURY PARK DoEs o p.m TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM RAINBOW THEATRE RAINBOW THEATRE FINSBURY PARK Harvey Goldsmith Entertainments presents ODEON THEATRE ODEON THEATRE 1G09 FINSBURY PARK Ceneral Manager: EDWARD WA BIRMINGHAM FREDERICK BANNISTER on behalf of TEDDAR LTD. present BIRMINGHAM HEDNES Harvey Galdom th Entartaiments present M.C.P. presents Harvey Coldsmith Entartainments proudly ROBERT PATERSON presents NOVEMBER M.A.M. (Promations) Ltd presents NILS LOFGREN BOZ SCAGGS BLOC DIRE STRAITS Chrysalis CAPTAIN BEEFHEART PINK FLOYD present MILES DAVIS in Concert PRESENTS BOB E1.75 N at 8 p.m ITER PLUS SUPPORT AND HIS MAGIC BAND Friday JULY 29 ZED ZEPPELIN 2nd PERFORMANCE 8-0 p.m STEVE MILLER IN CONCERT WEDNESDAY 13th JUNE CC Evening 7.30 Centre Stalls £2.75 TUESDAY 18ch NOVEMBER, 1975 at 1930 hours MONDAY, NOVEMBER 19th, 1973 2nd PERFORMANCE 9-30 p.m. STALLS FRONT STALLS THURSDAY 31st MARCH 1977 SATURDAY, APRIL 7th, 1973 L39 GROUND FLOOR R 24 3STALLS ned V.A.T £2.80 U25 at 7.30 pm Doors open 6.45 pm W 22 £2.00 B12 in concert STALLS 1-50 Tickets £3.50 Inc. VAT fact. VA Wed. May 11 at 7.30 p.m. AREN TO BE RETAINED Incl. VAT PLEASE RETAIN For onditions of sale Sunday, 18th June at 8.00 p.m. Doors open 6.30 p.m New Bingley Hall, Stafford LATECOMERS will not be admitted untila convenient break in tbe programme. Tickets cannot be exchanged or money refunded. £7.5 including vi No Ticket exchanged nor money refunde This portion to be retained TO BE RETAINED FOR CONDITIONS OF SALE S No tlcket exchanged nor money refunded This portion to be tatained TO BE RETAINED FOR CONDITIONS OF SALE No re-admisalon for conditions see reverse Admission Ticket P T.O (P.T.O.) ODEON THEATRE IRMINGHAM TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM to be retained and produced on demand 53066 No ODEON THEATRE TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM ODEON THEA BRDMINGHAM A ME YOUNG W Cencect wish tray erse EVENING a ODEON THEATRE, Birmingham Scot Auto n JOHN &TONY SMITH present MCP presants LENE LOVICH plus support DEREK BLOCK presents CHRYSALIS ARTISTS present HAROLD DAVISON and TITO BURNS STRAC USIC preents SOFT MACHINE TEN YEARS AFTER LEONARD COHEN SIMON and GARFUNKLE ENTERTAINMENTS COMMITTEE STRAIGHT MUSIC presents RY COODER present PATTPSMTH + The Stranglers EVENING 7-30 p.m Asgard presents Tuesday, March 30th, 1976 EVENINGT20 p.m. SUNDAY OCTOBER MONDAY 22 IN CONCERT EVENING 7-30 p.r VAN MORRISON in Concert MONDAY,6th DECEMBER, 1971, at 1930 hours SATURDAY, 20th OCTOBER, 1972 at 1945 hours OCTOBER Stalls Slanding Unreserved C2.00 THURSDAY, 20th MAY, 1976 at 1930 hours THURSDAY, J0th MAY, 1968, FRIDAY JANUARY BANANAMOUR 28 at 8-00 p.m Friday, 22nd October 1982 Evening 8.00 CENTRE STALLS £3.00 60p 90p £2.50 GROUND FLOOR LOWER GALLERY FRONT CIRCLE £2-00 GROUND FLOOR FRONT CIRCLE £2.50 LOWER GALLERY 7/6 THURSDAY, MAY 17, 1973 A144 21 B18 FRONT STALLS ROOTES HALL ODEON THEATRE ODEON THEATRE BIAMINGHAM Q 1 WEMBLEY STADIUM £6.50 DO NOT TEAR PERFORATION AS ODEON THEATRE ACe BIRMINGHAM TNTERNATIONAL PLEASE RETAIN G 40p In advance 50p at door BIRMINCHAM 12 NO TICKET EXCHANGED NOR MONEY AEFNDE THIS PORTION TO BE RETAINED nt LATECOMEAS will nat be admitted until convenient break in the programme. Tickets cannot be exchanged or money relunded. EMMYLOU HARRIS KNEBWORTH PARK Nr Saturday 5 LITTLE FEAT LEYO mith Entertelnmnt Ann WLMSE A ARENA JOHN SMITH ENTERTAINMENTS present THE JACK BRUCE BAND in concert Harvey NATIONAL EXHIBITION CENTRE VENING 730 P.m. FRIDAY FEBRUARY Croudly presents a lUMWEMBLE ML wnSal Ouest THE OUTLAWS TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM EVEN NG 7-30 p.m SUNDHAY ODEON THEATRE No 000044 20 EVENING 7-30 p.m FRIDAY MAY BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN 13 ODEON THEATRE, BIRMINGHAM BARRY DICKINS AND ROD MACSWEEN IN ASSOCIATION ITH MCP BIRMINGHAM JOHN SMITH ENTERTAINMENTS presents 30 FREDERICK BANNIS BLOCK TURNSTILES ROY HARPER JUNE DEREK LOCK prosentS Asgard presenls 02 CENTRE STALLS £2-00 THE FLOYD AT & THE E STREET BAND IAN DURY& THE BLOCKHEAD FRONT STALLS £2-50 VAN MORRISON plus SUPPORT ODEON THEATRE REAR STALLS 1-35 PRESENT ** JONI MITCHELL ** JURMINGHAM ROW SUNDAY 8th JULY Evening 7.30 N CONCERT TUESDAY, 27th MAY, 1975 at 1930 hours In concert: No support Juesday, 6th September 1983 fvening 7.30 S11 F 25 STRAICHT MUSIC p nts WAR EVENING 7-30 p.m NOON 11.00 p.m. BB 33 IN CONCERT DOORS OPENING 6.30 PM 12 WED. 3 JULY, 1985 MITH ENTERTAINMENTS JOHN SMITH ENTERTAINM TAINJOHN Smith Entertainments in association with TrinifoldN S N SMITH ENTERTAINMPresents HN SMITH ENTERTA 50 GROUND FLOOR E1.50 SEAT FRONT STALLS ADV. BOOKING PRICE £2.75 nxchenged nor money refundad ERT START 8-00 PM 18 FRIDAY 30 £3.50 ODEON THEATRE REAR STALLS EC6 50 JUNE 6350 ket No. B TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM ODEON THEATRE THURSDAY 14TH APR EAST STAND FRONT CIRCLE 2-00 BIRMNGHAM LEASE RETAIN ALE D A TRess B0B MARLEY&THE WAILLRS Karvey Coldsmith for john Smth Loertnests pr PETER BOWYER presents THE WHO MITH LATECOMERS will not be admitted until a convenient break la the program AN NTS JO THE PENTANGLE TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM FF 20 THE MAHAVISHNU ORCHESTRA 1983 oRL emeney refhndd exchanged or NMEN OHN SMH ENTERTAINMENTSJONN S TAINMENTS JOHNPLUSTH ENTERTANA E16 ENT No Tickat avchanned nnr mones nfunda Evaning 7-30 pm. Doors open 6-EVENING 7-30p.m SATURDAY JULY ISLAND PROMOTIONS present A N.EM.S. PRESENTATION TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM ROYAL ALBERT HALL Odeon Theatre, Birmingham 19 ODEON THEATRE DIRMINGHAM Traffic General Manager: FRANK J. MUNDY THURSDAY 23 SATURDAY, 30th OCTOBER, 1971, at 1945 hours MEL BUSH presents YE STEVE GIBBONS B NO TICKET EXCHANGED NOB ONEY REFUNDED THIS PORTION TO BE ETAINCD Friday, 4 June, 1971 7.30 p.m JANUARY with SOUR GRAPES GOLESMI aRTAMENT Kennedy Streel Enterpriaes Lid present PTO Captain Beefheart ALE In lation with intand Artists NMENTSJOHN SMI H ENTETAn Doors open at 7 CENTRE CIRCLE £1-50 FRONT STALLS £2.00 present S&THE MAYTALS WEDNESDAY, 8th MAY, 1974, at 1930 hours 70p ATURDAY 4th OCTOBER VanMorrison Robert Paterson presents GROUND FLOOR AND HIS MAGIC BAND WITH SUPPORTING GROUP plus Support ODEON BIRMINGHAM THEATRE GORDON LIGHTFOOT EVENING7-30 p.m SUNDAY MARCH open 7.15 pm Tickets £2.2 ay Hal M14 G11 £1.00 14 GROUND FLOOR Tuesday, 15th October, 1985 HEvening 7.30 E E1.10 22/- 19 ARENA TUESDAY, 10th APRIL, 1973, at 1930 hours ALE BOB MARLEY & THE WAILERS J 20 THE JUNCTION HIGH STREET, HARE ROW FRONT RCLE £2-00 .50 Enter by Door No EVENING 7-30 TUESDAY JUNE OUND FLOOR CENTRE STALLS £7.50 ODEON THEATRE TOWN HALL,BIRMINGHAM THEATRE ODEON BACK STAGE PASS DLEASE RETAIN 22 C31 ntil a convenient t be exchanged or BIRMINGHAM BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME BIRMINGHAM JOHN AND TONY SMITH present AT J19 Harvay Gotdsmith Entertainmants In associatjo with BRM.0. Radio presents T ASGARD presents 30 FAMILY CENTRE STALLS £2.50 GEORGE BENSON "Such A Nigh with THE LEGENDA VAN MORRISON M.4.M. pretents THE KINKS PLEASE RETAIN 7962 MEAS wi11 net be admitted ontil conven No EVENING 7-30 p.m. SATURDAY MAY witt the nw stage production of featuring Ngrman and The Starmaker M17 ORLEANSPIANIST/ THEATRE ODEON BIRMINGHAM SUNDAY 11th MARCH Evening 7.30 TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM 28 FRIDAY, 12th NOVEMBER, 1971 at 1930 hours UND CHRYSALIS PROMOTIONS present EVENING 7-30 MAM (Premetlene) ttd DARYL HALL & JOHN OATES oTt exchanged nor egey alunded reent CENTRE CIRCLE E3 00 2 90p MONDAY Stlenas THIS PORTION YO BE RETAINED (PYO FRONT CIRCLE £2.80 LOWER GALLERY TEN YEARS AFTER EVENING 7-30 pm WEDNESDAY JANUARY JUNE DAY 12th FEBRUARY STALLS £1 50 12 N 27 A 17 F26 ODEON THEATRE FRIDAY, 19th APRIL, 1974, at 1930 hours THE NIGHT TRIPPE N30 BIRMINGHAM rederick Bannister Presents EL.20 RETAIN FRONT CIRCLE £2.50 DEREK LOCK prosents TECO MERS will aot be admitted until a convenient Sha regramme Tickets caanot be xchanged or GROUND FLOOR L d me ed NO TICKET EXCHANGED NOR MONEY REFUNDED ΖΑΡΡΑ IAN DURY&THE BLOCKHEADS D42 TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM THEATRE 1ONDAY, 17th SEPTEMBER ODEON ODEON THEATRE ODEON THEATRE SUNDAY 8th JULY Evening 7.30 TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM BIRMINGHAM BaMISCAM BIRMINGHAM BANNISTER PROMOTIONS present CAPTAIN BEEFHEART and HIS MAGIC BAND ry Galdumith Entertainments Ltd. preaents SANTANA CHICAGO EVENING 7-30 p.m STRAIGHT MUSIC LTD. FRONT STALLS ADMis presents Concert commences S p.m. AUB 29 2nd Performance 9-0 p.m FRIDAY NOVEMBER FLYING BURRITO BROS ODEON THEATRE DIRMINGHAM 16 £3.50 UN CIVIC WULFRUN WOLVERHAMPTON 22 EMERSON, LAKE&PALMER SATURDAY JANUARY TUESDAY, 21st SEPTEMBER, 1976 at 1930 hours D SATURDAY, 25th MARCH, 1972, at 1930 hours Evening 7-30 SATURDAY IN CONCERT 2nd PERFOAMANCE 8-30 p.m CENTRE STALLS £1-75 GROUND FLOOR £1.50 SATURDAY DECEMBER FRONT STALLS £3-00 11 El.00 MAY LOWER GALLERY No Ticket exchanoed ner monen dnd CIVIC HALL NOLVERHAMPTON VIRBIN 12. 15 presents HOOTIE& THE BLOF 18H plus Special Guests Start 7.30pm THU FRONT STALLS £2-00 WULFRUN HALL Serious Ltd Pres RICHARD THOMPSON in Concert Starts MON 12 Jan D18 L 7 V30 CENTRE STALLS 1-00 ODEON THEATAE, Dirmingham F 29 PLEASE RETAIN Y 22 8PM Asgard presents MOVEY BEELIN changed nor nay refunded uteduas a convenient Tickets cannot ba exchanged or DOORS OPEN DOORS OPEN 7.30 pm RY COODER ODEON THEATRE, BIRMINGHAM d oo4 THE EMPIRE STADIUM, WEMBLEY No eschenged r my de THIS PORTION TO RETAINED Tuesday, 28th October 1980 RTM Presents ODEON THE BIRMINGHAM 9 THE ROBIN R'n'B CLUB AT THE ROBIN H OOD INN, MERRY HILL. BRIERLEY HILL, WEST MIDLANDS DYS ITrD T Evening 8-00 M.CP preser.ts THE MEL BUSH ORGANISATION LTD ARENA COURT EARLS (OPPOSITE WARWICK ROAD EXIT EARLS COURT TUBE STATION NILS LOFGREN ROBERT PALMER PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS ODEON THEATRE, BIRMINGHAM Srght Mo pres PATTI SMITH QR Front Stall £3.00 00inc VAT REAR STALLS presents the (# JOHN MARTYN WEMBLEY MUSIC CONCERT Alec Lealio Lal Lidpre £3.00 301297SH0214 Wednesday, 25th May 1983 STEVE WINWOOD plus G : Sunday, 10th July 1983 MEL BUSH by arrangament with PETER GRANT presents CC STWTS TOWN HALL, BIRMINGHAM BLOCK s OF SALE PRINTED OVERLEAF Evecing 7.30 ZEPPELIN LED E FRONT STALLS SAT., SEPT. 14, 1974 H 28 PETER BOWWYER PROMOTIONS presents Evening 7 30 SECU SECU SECU SECA SEC SEC £4.00 SECU from 12 noon till 10 p.m +SUPPORT KEVIN AYERS Wednesday 25th September 1996 FRONT STALL the This ticket es of sls Sat. Sept. 2 at 7.30 p.m No ticket axhape R m This pertin to be telacd Harvey Goldsmith Ents presents Saturday, May 24th, 1975 16 16 00 WEDNESDAY 23rd APRIL 1997 DOORS OPEN 8.00pm raable at place of purch No Refunds e Exchanges made, plus SUPPORT maey at 8-0 p.m. (Doors open 6-0) ROW 2 STEVE WINWOOD Tes ech SUNDAY, 17th NOVEMBER, 1974 at 1930 hours D CORPORATION STREET RIDMINGHAM £10 Tickets £10.00 Advance £11.00 DoorVS ENQUIRIES (013841 A37747 A GROUND FLOOR £l.00 8pm GALLERY £1-50 Odeon Theatre, Birmingham ADENA IEVEL OR STADIUM NO DRESS REST Kinetic Circus Mayfalr, ODEON THEATRE S SEE PLAN AND COND NO REFUNDS ODEON THEATRE ODEON THEATRE BIAMINGHAM 2400 Mel ush and Rob Hallet Far PERFORMANCE THEATRE Ball Ring ronlnghae 821-643 2137 Doers ODEON BIRMINGHAM BlksNOHAM ODEON THEATRE ODEON THEATRE BIRMINGHAM & ES BAND ( KOpport prasent Nils Lofgren Flip 85 BIRMINGHAM RICK NELSON 2nd Performance 9-0 p.m FRIDAY FEBRUARY STRAIGHT MUSIC presents Emerson, Lake and Palmer EVENING 8-0 p.m. FRIDAY APRIL OIR NGRAM DAVE EDMUNDS ROCKPILE FRIDAY 8th JUNE Evening 7.30 FRONT STALLS £3.00 THE MAHAVISHNU ORCHESTRA EVENING 7-30 p.m THURSDAY JANUARY FATS DOMINO THE ROLLNG STONES 25 OCTOBER at8 p.m. Tuesday, 10th December, 1985 Eving 7 30 FRIDAY, 22nd BIRMINGHAM IRISH CENTRE High Street, Derithend 2nd Performance 8-0 p.m SUNDAY APRIL 1st Performance 5-0 p.m WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 29 23 19 ATE ICHTER FRONT STALLS Thursday 1st May 1997 Doors 8:00pm 512.50 In advnnce CENTRE STALLS 21-10 CENTRE STALLS 75p THE £6-50 CENTRE STALLS 21-00 FRONT STALLS £2.00 NO SUPPORT CENTRE STALLS 21.65 14 H 020 FACES 16 G X16 G12 HH37 DD 1 Inal. 10% VAT No Tk chned nr Moy duded This be refaled 00108 P.TO No EntgPOR No Ticket exchanged money refunded This portion to be retal PT.O NO TICKET EXCHANGED NOR MONEY REFUNDED TAIS PORTION TO BE RTAINED o thchat canged nor meney retunded P.TO (P.T D.) 1P.TO o fictt eha THS PORTION YO TAINED P.T.O Th Portion to be Retained o tickes ceeh Tis PORTION TO BE RETAINED P.TO Admission Ticket HE 1432 907 312030 RESTRICTED Tel. No. 01902 312030 A IIn shows C MANCHSTE Some of the bands my dad has been to see over the years.

Some of the bands my dad has been to see over the years.

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Bad, Drugs, and Fire: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump's State of the Union and then asked it to write its own Trump's State of the Union. Here is the first page. STATE OF THE UNION The crowd chants the alphabet. People clap at the letters. INT. CLAP ROOM PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D Our prescription drugs are full of illegal aliens. Not right! If you are not citizen, go back to D-Day. A veteran will give directions. TRUMP snatches a podium. He is wide tonight. PRESIDENT PRESIDENT TRUMP My fellow Americones, the greatest country in China. Winning all days. More jobs. More opioid. Moon Buzz Aldrin. we live in War veterans wave. People clap at the men who know guns. PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) To stop immigration the southern border needs a very tall whale. History says whales work. Yes. The whale will be steel and also a Buzz Aldrin waves. People clap at the man who knows the moon PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) I ended the terrible Whirl War 2. It wasn't working! I It will bring companies back. Gas. Oil. Ohio TWO years ago, job will end women SOon. People have always been clapping. President Trump widens. PRESIDENT TRUMP CONT'D) Gas, Oil, and Ohio wave. They sit with First Ladle Melanio. I want peace to join the military. Fire a unborn, coyote, born or PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Our military is strong. American rockets fire coyotes and the middle east is out of business! Now middle right at the moon. Blow it up. Give it a MOon is white so it is good. job. Make it the whale's boss class has 700,000 more birthdays. Cakes are up 5%. Farms grow cakes. People clap. Buzz Aldrin does not. The moon is his friend and he knows it will be a bad boss. He cannot clap for this.
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Bad, Drugs, and Fire: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti l forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump's State of the Union and then asked it to write its own Trump's State of the Union. Here is the first page STATE OF THE UNION INT. CLAP ROOM PRESIDENT TRUMP snatches a podium. He is wide tonight The crowd chants the alphabet. People clap at the letters PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Our prescription drugs are full of illegal aliens. Not right! If you are not citizen, go back to D-Day A veteran will give directions PRESIDENT TRUMP My fellow Americones, we live in the areatest country in China Winning all days. More jobs. More opioid. Moon Buzz Aldrin War veterans wave. People clap at the men who know guns PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) Buzz Aldrin waves. People clap at the man who knows the moorn To stop immigration the southern border needs a very tall whale History says whales work. Yes. The whale will be steel and also a job PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Two years ago, I ended the terrible Whirl War 2. It wasn't working! I will end women soon. It will bring companies back. Gas. Oil. Ohio People have always been clapping. President Trump widens PRESIDENT TRUMP CONT D Gas, oil, and Ohio wave. They sit with First Ladle Melanio I want peace to join the military Fire a coyote, born or unborn, right at the moon. Blow it up. Give it a job. Make it the whale's boss Moon is white so it is good PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Our military is strong. American rockets fire coyotes and the middle east is out of business! Now middle class has 700,000 more birthdays. Cakes are up 5%. Farms grow cakes People clap. Buzz Aldrin does not. The moon is his friend and he knows it will be a bad boss. He cannot clap for this
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Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump rallies and then asked it to write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first page TRUMP RALLY INT. BIG ARBY, S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium PRESIDENT TRUMP I just had a phone call with the economy Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve Jobs. All at Kinko' s The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive) PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) The United Snakes is doing so good. other countries are on fire. All the people on fire. Hot fire too. Not us. Our flag is so beautiful President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) I signed a bill. No more swamp swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now It's on fire. Great deal for us The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Foreign powers cheat us Canada steals our milk. China steals our milk. We only had one glass of milk left! Obama drank it. Not fair The crowd boos. They wanted that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) But like President Ronald Rogaine, will bring back the milk! The crowd roars. They still want that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) A wall of milk. No criminals get through. Democrats want criminals to have the milk. No way. Milk comes from coal. We'1l dig it up All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging @lilycfthevalley

@lilycfthevalley

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Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti Follow I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawver commercial of its own Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words. LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full。f lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch. LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'1l help. I graduated fronm lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs. Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN,DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love The lawyer will break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge' s gavel for you. The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth. LAWYER (CONT'D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT'D) unless you pay us money. Call for a The phone digits appear. It's your social security number Remember, you don't pay any money free use of phone
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