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Being Alone, Animals, and Bruh: Proud @DrSmashlove DUE TO AN INFECTION THAT TOOK GVER MY LIVER MY VET GAVE ME 1 MONTH TO LIVE... THAT WASMONTHS AG AND T HAVE MADE A FULL RECOVERY How extra is the State of Montana? Pulled off yesterday at a rest area and sign literally said "RATTLESNAKE AREA. KEEP ON THE SIDEWALK." Bruh. Firstly. Of all animals to live at a rest stop...snakes? They gon fuck around and build a place where u suppose to pee...in a rattlesnake habitat? Like let's look at this shit from a snake's perspective. I whip my pecker-wood out. This snake look at my shit eye to eye (I mean mines got one eye but that's neither here nor there 😁). This is a snake! His vision ok but it can't be that great! For all he know...my joint is a snake from a rival gang. Like I could picture the rattlesnake eyeing up my dick like "WHAT SET JEW CLAIM ESSAY? I SAID...WHAT SET JEW CLAIM, *ESSAY*. OH. OK BUTTERCUP. JEW JUST WANNA SHOW UP IN MY HOOD...AND SPIT THAT YELLOW VENOM OUT YOUR MOUTH...TRYEENG TO THREATEN *ME*, PENDEJO? JEW MUST NOT HAVE ASKED AROUND ABOUT ME ESSAY. OKAY ESSAY. I SEE YOU. WELL LEMME SHOW YOU SOME *REAL* VENOM ESSAY SAY KHELLO TO MY LEETO FRIEN!" And of course my PP try to be polite and reply in a rarified British accent (my PP is British all of a sudden don't ask) like "EW IT'S MERELY A MISUNDERSTANDING, CHAP! INDEED I AM NOT OF THE SERPENT SPECIES AT ALL! I AM MERELY A HUMAN PENISÈ! I TRUST THAT I HAVE CLEARED UP ANY CONFUSION, CHEERIO!" Of course that would probably only piss Pedro off and make him call his essays like "AYE CHICO! JAIME! THIS BRITISH FUCKBOY IS TALKEEN SHIT. LET'S MAKE SURE TO GIVE HIM A WARM MONTANA WELCOME 😁." All I wanted to do was pee, now my dick getting ate by several rattlesnakes wearing bandanas, creased khakis and Nike Cortez walking shoes. Now I have no genitalia. And I'm bleeding to death. And I can't call 911 because it's no motherfucking reception here in the mountains. I'm dying cold and alone while these rattlesnakes have a cook-out grilling carne Asada while Analisa and Consuela show off they new tattoos next to my dying carcass. THANKS MONTANA 😢...😂😂😂