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Laundry, Molly, and Got: Molly and Paco got possessed by demons in the unruly laundry pile

Molly and Paco got possessed by demons in the unruly laundry pile

Being Alone, Booty, and Cats: RT This baby boy wasfoun food and diapers onacoldwinter night in Obninsk, Russia d with a bag containing baby Masha,the Cat, Saved the babyis life by curling around him and shielding!himtromlbelowitreezingtemperatures By the time paramedics responded totake thechild'toa hospital, Mashalhad grown protective of him, running after the baby and trvingttoljumplintothe ambulance afterhim jenniferrpovey: goaliesarethebest: pon-raul: wewill-tryagain: dendritic-trees: booty-uprooter: asryakino: srsfunny: Masha The Hero They forgot the part where the ambulance actually stopped to let the cat in oh good I was worried What a good cat. What a kind cat. How can anyone not love cats they are so good and loving. they also forgot the part where they only found the baby because masha was screaming her head off bc she knew this baby was in danger. she went around outside the alley the next morning and yelled at passerby until she got one to follow her to the baby. she kept him warm all night and then made sure someone found him. she was adopted after this bc she was a stray and is in a loving home and is a hero Hero cat Thank you, Masha, you’re such a good girl. See. Kittens can’t regulate their own body temperature. That’s why they pile up. Cats see us as colony members. Masha saw a kitten that was on its own, no mommy, no other kittens to cuddle with. She instinctively knew that was a cold kitten. She knew that a kitten alone on a cold night was very likely to die. Because a kitten would have died too. So, all she was doing was what any good colony member does - protecting the abandoned kitten. Then when the abandoned kitten’s mommy didn’t come back, she called the rest of the colony for help. People have this bizarre idea that housecats don’t have a social sense. They do, and it saved this kid’s life. And possibly Masha’s too, as life on the streets is dangerous for a kitty. We say “good dog” all the time, but Masha was being a very, very good cat…not just by human moral standards but by feline ones.

jenniferrpovey: goaliesarethebest: pon-raul: wewill-tryagain: dendritic-trees: booty-uprooter: asryakino: srsfunny: Masha The Hero T...

Being Alone, Booty, and Cats: RT This baby boy wasfoun food and diapers onacoldwinter night in Obninsk, Russia d with a bag containing baby Masha,the Cat, Saved the babyis life by curling around him and shielding!himtromlbelowitreezingtemperatures By the time paramedics responded totake thechild'toa hospital, Mashalhad grown protective of him, running after the baby and trvingttoljumplintothe ambulance afterhim jenniferrpovey: goaliesarethebest: pon-raul: wewill-tryagain: dendritic-trees: booty-uprooter: asryakino: srsfunny: Masha The Hero They forgot the part where the ambulance actually stopped to let the cat in oh good I was worried What a good cat. What a kind cat. How can anyone not love cats they are so good and loving. they also forgot the part where they only found the baby because masha was screaming her head off bc she knew this baby was in danger. she went around outside the alley the next morning and yelled at passerby until she got one to follow her to the baby. she kept him warm all night and then made sure someone found him. she was adopted after this bc she was a stray and is in a loving home and is a hero Hero cat Thank you, Masha, you’re such a good girl. See. Kittens can’t regulate their own body temperature. That’s why they pile up. Cats see us as colony members. Masha saw a kitten that was on its own, no mommy, no other kittens to cuddle with. She instinctively knew that was a cold kitten. She knew that a kitten alone on a cold night was very likely to die. Because a kitten would have died too. So, all she was doing was what any good colony member does - protecting the abandoned kitten. Then when the abandoned kitten’s mommy didn’t come back, she called the rest of the colony for help. People have this bizarre idea that housecats don’t have a social sense. They do, and it saved this kid’s life. And possibly Masha’s too, as life on the streets is dangerous for a kitty. We say “good dog” all the time, but Masha was being a very, very good cat…not just by human moral standards but by feline ones.

jenniferrpovey: goaliesarethebest: pon-raul: wewill-tryagain: dendritic-trees: booty-uprooter: asryakino: srsfunny: Masha The Hero ...

Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Animals, Bones, and Church: teaboot The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it's honestly a waste that my entire life isn't constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS teaboot 1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home. 2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn't talk about it again. 3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized "wait it's dark as fuck so I just held still until the guy gave up and left. . The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so l told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl's underwear a day later andI never saw him again 5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver's side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out 6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he'd locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him you know that sounds super suspicious right and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead 7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so l clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn't follow me onboard 8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again. 9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me 'piñata and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie c got caught torturing animals cause he finally 10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks 11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually es- caped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wig- gling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lved another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped 12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home 13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play 'bloody mary in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said "no thanks" and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead. 14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of... locked up forever and never gon ear 15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360° spin with nobody touching it, so I said 'that was neat' and never ate there again 16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing l'd ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn't even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds teaboot Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking teaboot I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say "no elsean Source: teaboot 205.063 notes Teaboots Adventures As That White Girl in Horror Movies
Life, Shit, and Teacher: votgs lady-feral+ The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the "quantity" group: 50 pounds of pots rated an "A", 4o pounds a "B", and so on. Those being graded on "quality", however, needed to produce only one potalbeit a perfect one-to get an "A". Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity It seems that while the "quantity" group was busily churning out piles of work-and learning from their mistakes the "quality" group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay." Art and Fear- David Bayles and Ted Orland (via qweety) Perfection is intimidating. think most artists blocks come from the fear of creating something imperfect. (via buttastic) putting it even more simply: just make shit. eventually it'll be good shit. maybe most of it will just be shitl but you can't make good shit if you're not making a lot of shit. GET EXCITED AND MAKE THINGS (via aintgotnoladytronblues) Kind of important. I've spent way too much of my life thinking about the perfect things I could make without actually making the damned things 26,336 notes Just keep making shit.
Funny, Cat, and Via: 115 107 Tall cat vs. Pile-O-cat via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2Et1S13

Tall cat vs. Pile-O-cat via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2Et1S13

World, World War 1, and War: Gruesome photo of World War 1 trench warfare victims stacked in a pile, (1917, colorized)

Gruesome photo of World War 1 trench warfare victims stacked in a pile, (1917, colorized)

America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait.  you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia  That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal. My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia  I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke. Nope. Went there. Parrots tried to take our car. Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY. Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile. There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started.  I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.  Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.  Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. They did lose the Emu War, after all.