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sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm: dean-and-his-pie: fororchestra: musicalmelody: Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”  Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.  To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha. On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious. I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair… Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair. The lengths we go for music. Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek. One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.” And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is: [stifled giggling] [reeeeeeally deep breath] [COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE] The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture. In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.” FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part. This is the best band post  Everyone else go home Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until, that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that Who does that? This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose. Julius IdontgivaFucik More like Julius Fuckit Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share : sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm: dean-and-his-pie: fororchestra: musicalmelody: Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”  Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.  To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha. On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious. I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair… Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair. The lengths we go for music. Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek. One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.” And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is: [stifled giggling] [reeeeeeally deep breath] [COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE] The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture. In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.” FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part. This is the best band post  Everyone else go home Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until, that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that Who does that? This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose. Julius IdontgivaFucik More like Julius Fuckit Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share
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queerplatonicpositivity: [ ID: Five images. 1. A background of hand-drawn stars in the aro flag colors. Text in the middle reads: “ ‘I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody’s else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.’ - bell hooks” 2. The aro flag with black text in the middle that reads: “I won’t apologize for who I am” 3. The aro flag with two small arrows, one pointing left and one pointing right. Text reads: “Aro people are valid. Always” 4. The demiaro flag with black text in the middle that reads: “I won’t apologize for who I am” 5. A background of light- and dark-green elbow macaroni shapes. Text in the middle reads: “ ‘If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.’ - Audre Lorde” ] February 16th: Visibility - Share a photo or drawing of yourself with arrows, roadsigns, or pointers, whether ones you made yourself or that you find. (link) A few Aro-themed graphics I’ve made over the months! : queerplatonicpositivity: [ ID: Five images. 1. A background of hand-drawn stars in the aro flag colors. Text in the middle reads: “ ‘I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody’s else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.’ - bell hooks” 2. The aro flag with black text in the middle that reads: “I won’t apologize for who I am” 3. The aro flag with two small arrows, one pointing left and one pointing right. Text reads: “Aro people are valid. Always” 4. The demiaro flag with black text in the middle that reads: “I won’t apologize for who I am” 5. A background of light- and dark-green elbow macaroni shapes. Text in the middle reads: “ ‘If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.’ - Audre Lorde” ] February 16th: Visibility - Share a photo or drawing of yourself with arrows, roadsigns, or pointers, whether ones you made yourself or that you find. (link) A few Aro-themed graphics I’ve made over the months!
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dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lovedsomuch: warsfeils: anubituf: harukami: last-snowfall: weareallmedie: firedanceryote: reptila-tequila: qeilla: thefreckledavantgardegoober: mysticmisfit89: Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada….. No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck. And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car. moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.” like, fuck off with that I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals. They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people. Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away. I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING Moose are terrifying, you guys. I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist. I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside. If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.  Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.  Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD. Moose. MOOSE. I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this. The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that. Moose confirmed for actual kaiju. Kaiju category: Maple.   Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. @ssalogel For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant” And they can run up to 40 miles per hour A 16 wheeler with fur : dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lovedsomuch: warsfeils: anubituf: harukami: last-snowfall: weareallmedie: firedanceryote: reptila-tequila: qeilla: thefreckledavantgardegoober: mysticmisfit89: Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada….. No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck. And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car. moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.” like, fuck off with that I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals. They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people. Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away. I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING Moose are terrifying, you guys. I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist. I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside. If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.  Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.  Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD. Moose. MOOSE. I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this. The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that. Moose confirmed for actual kaiju. Kaiju category: Maple.   Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. @ssalogel For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant” And they can run up to 40 miles per hour A 16 wheeler with fur
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megasov: gordon-pint: sharkpunks: Pointing to what I want on my five dollar footlong Fun story I had a customer come in at my college subway location at about 2am on a saturday, it was a 20 something year old student high as balls (naturally). This kid wasn’t just high, he was off his ass, he was higher than snoop on April 20th, his eyes were clamshells. I asked him what he wanted and I could see the gears turning in his head but he absolutely couldn’t get anything out. This guy was too high to talk, and I’m surprised he even made it down the street to our store. Obviously I’ve been here before so no problem, I tell the dude I’ve got this and to just point at what he wants, and he commences to just go down the line pointing at the bread and meats and veggies like this damn reaper, leading me on the biggest game of hot and cold I’ve ever played. In the end his sandwich racked up like 15 dollars in extra charges but I think we gave it to him for free. There is no moral to this story. I think you were visited by a wizard : megasov: gordon-pint: sharkpunks: Pointing to what I want on my five dollar footlong Fun story I had a customer come in at my college subway location at about 2am on a saturday, it was a 20 something year old student high as balls (naturally). This kid wasn’t just high, he was off his ass, he was higher than snoop on April 20th, his eyes were clamshells. I asked him what he wanted and I could see the gears turning in his head but he absolutely couldn’t get anything out. This guy was too high to talk, and I’m surprised he even made it down the street to our store. Obviously I’ve been here before so no problem, I tell the dude I’ve got this and to just point at what he wants, and he commences to just go down the line pointing at the bread and meats and veggies like this damn reaper, leading me on the biggest game of hot and cold I’ve ever played. In the end his sandwich racked up like 15 dollars in extra charges but I think we gave it to him for free. There is no moral to this story. I think you were visited by a wizard
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ravensnowstudio: dirkdigglr1: niggazinmoscow: Take care of yourself. And don’t trust strangers easily— it might be lethal! Being a girl is scary in so many ways. Yeah it can happen to men, but cmon they see females as an easier target. I agree on this corrective asswhoopin If you see this, don’t just sneakily tell the woman or the bartender. Shout for everyone to hear “Hey, you just put something in that drink!” While pointing at the person.  If a predator misses target number one they’ll just go for target 2. If you shame them out of the bar they’ll never come back. And there is a solid chance of a collective asswhoopin, or an actual arrest for attempted rape. When in doubt, make the biggest scene you can. : Rose Bud Follow @MiamiBud2 So I was at a party yesterday and some guy tried to drug me but me being the brilliant, sharp and quick person I am I noticed right away, went to the bathroom threw it down the sink and left Follow @Geuice301 I think as men, we all need to agree that if we see a nigga drop any type of drugs in somebody drink we just need to administer a collective ass whoopin. Rose Bud @MiamiBud2 So I was at a party yesterday and some guy tried to drug me but me being the brilliant, sharp and quick person I am I noticed right away, went to the bathroom threw it down the sink and left Show this thread 10:04 AM 25 May 2019 131,383 Retweets 358,681 Likes ravensnowstudio: dirkdigglr1: niggazinmoscow: Take care of yourself. And don’t trust strangers easily— it might be lethal! Being a girl is scary in so many ways. Yeah it can happen to men, but cmon they see females as an easier target. I agree on this corrective asswhoopin If you see this, don’t just sneakily tell the woman or the bartender. Shout for everyone to hear “Hey, you just put something in that drink!” While pointing at the person.  If a predator misses target number one they’ll just go for target 2. If you shame them out of the bar they’ll never come back. And there is a solid chance of a collective asswhoopin, or an actual arrest for attempted rape. When in doubt, make the biggest scene you can.
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lastsonlost: bel-cielo-invernale: lastsonlost: lastsonlost: breebro: lastsonlost: 3-dprintedbong: needsmoreevanjellyon: “Most of [Trump’s voters] are childless single men who masturbate to anime.” POLITICS And the fact that y'all fail to get their vote is even more pathetic. TAKE EM DOWN Someone is always willing to do what you choose not to. Someone is always waiting to replace you. You push them away someone’s going to embrace them. Either you want to win or you want to talk shit. And no amount of pointing to the right is going to erase when we on the left fuck up.CLEAN UP THE FUCK HOUSE! Get rid of both major parties imo. Republicans and Democrats have just about all lost their minds. I’m not opposed. So we’re not gonna talk about that dude’s big ass head? We’re just gonna let that one go? Nigga looks like Megamind: KING NENS PALIN ENDORSES DONALD TRUMP LIVE &MSNBC lastsonlost: bel-cielo-invernale: lastsonlost: lastsonlost: breebro: lastsonlost: 3-dprintedbong: needsmoreevanjellyon: “Most of [Trump’s voters] are childless single men who masturbate to anime.” POLITICS And the fact that y'all fail to get their vote is even more pathetic. TAKE EM DOWN Someone is always willing to do what you choose not to. Someone is always waiting to replace you. You push them away someone’s going to embrace them. Either you want to win or you want to talk shit. And no amount of pointing to the right is going to erase when we on the left fuck up.CLEAN UP THE FUCK HOUSE! Get rid of both major parties imo. Republicans and Democrats have just about all lost their minds. I’m not opposed. So we’re not gonna talk about that dude’s big ass head? We’re just gonna let that one go? Nigga looks like Megamind
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savetheturtlescanada: IT’S TIME TO STOP USING SINGLE-USE PLASTICS!!! We recently sparked conversation amongst the Tumblr community about our global plastic usage when we first introduced our reusable straws. While we were aggressive in pointing out that change needed to be made, some of you stressed that plastic usage went beyond just straws. We took what you told us in wanting more products that could assist in lowering our plastic usage and have come up with a solution for another plastic culprit: single-use produce bags. While grocery stores worldwide are phasing out single-use grocery bags at the till, produce bags still remain. On average, 4 bags per family are used per day, adding up to a staggering 1,500 short-lived bags per year! The average plastic bag is used for a whopping 12 minutes! That same bag will take centuries to degrade and may cause irreversible damage to marine life and our oceans. Making the switch to reusables will make a difference - in the health of our planet and the long-lasting freshness of your food. They are not just for produce either. You can store travel items and almost any household item. Perfect for toys, fruit, coins, medicine, cables, cosmetics, accessories and much more. Use them to keep things together during grocery shopping, camping, fishing, garden harvest, beach, and travels.  We hope you’ll join us in our effort to continue the conversation surrounding the reduction of plastic use and keeping our oceans clean.  Check out our Reusable Bags HERE : 255 savetheturtlescanada: IT’S TIME TO STOP USING SINGLE-USE PLASTICS!!! We recently sparked conversation amongst the Tumblr community about our global plastic usage when we first introduced our reusable straws. While we were aggressive in pointing out that change needed to be made, some of you stressed that plastic usage went beyond just straws. We took what you told us in wanting more products that could assist in lowering our plastic usage and have come up with a solution for another plastic culprit: single-use produce bags. While grocery stores worldwide are phasing out single-use grocery bags at the till, produce bags still remain. On average, 4 bags per family are used per day, adding up to a staggering 1,500 short-lived bags per year! The average plastic bag is used for a whopping 12 minutes! That same bag will take centuries to degrade and may cause irreversible damage to marine life and our oceans. Making the switch to reusables will make a difference - in the health of our planet and the long-lasting freshness of your food. They are not just for produce either. You can store travel items and almost any household item. Perfect for toys, fruit, coins, medicine, cables, cosmetics, accessories and much more. Use them to keep things together during grocery shopping, camping, fishing, garden harvest, beach, and travels.  We hope you’ll join us in our effort to continue the conversation surrounding the reduction of plastic use and keeping our oceans clean.  Check out our Reusable Bags HERE
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