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So I'm on the stairmaster tryina knock out this 103 steps per minute for 45 min right and I get to minute 38 and I'm cot damn feeling like I won't make it. My lungs are now coughing to try to draw air inside my body is like "MF WE WILL GO ON STRIKE U CAN ONLY PUT US THRU SO MUCH WE HAVE APPROVAL AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LOCAL 183 ELECTRICIANS BROTHERHOOD TO SHUT YO ASS DOWN BELEE DAT SHIT." But nah I kept going bc I AIN NO BISH (also, I'm stupid ๐Ÿค—). So the pretty lil woman next to me say "sir.........are you ok(?)" And I wanted to be like "BISH DON'T U SEE MY SPEED RN? I AIN'T DOING 65 STEPS PER MINUTE LIKE U WHICH IS A RESPECTABLE SPEED FOR KICKING YOUR LEGS OUT BEHIND U TO BUILD THAT UNDERBUTT-CREASE BC U TRYING TO GET A ASS THE NATURAL WAY AND NOT THE KARDASHIAN POOPY DIAPER SURGERY WAY BUT THIS SHIT LIKE SPRINTING UP A MOUNTAIN COT DAMMIT YES I'M OK LET A BROTHER BREAVE ๐Ÿ˜ค." But I didn't say that. I didn't say that shit at all ๐Ÿ˜‚. I said "ayeeee you don't have to call me sir! I'm not THAT old. I only have six grandkids ... THAT I KNOW ABOUT LOL LEMME STOP LYING I AIN OLD ENUF TO BE A GRANDPA HAHAHAHA I'M STUPID WYD THO." And she immeejally reply "ha! You got me beat. My first grand kid was just born so I have a while before I catch up!" Hold the damn phone bruh. She was pretty AF too. Like the math ain een make no damn sense. She 30? What did she do, have a daughter at age 15 and then THAT daughter had a baby at age 15? Or maybe she 45? Like she Lululemon down - and where she get the money for all this? And then I pictured her meeting a sweet old glucose guardian who was like "I don't mind that you have kids - I never wanted them - but I'll treat yours like mine โ˜บ๏ธ" and took care of her and now she living good AND THEN I REALIZED MAYBE SHE GOT HER OWN DAMN MONEY WHY SHE GOTTA BE A KEPT WOMAN MAYBE SHE INDEPENDENT AF SHAME ON ME SMASH FOR ASSUMING SHIT. Then I said "LOL NO WAY YOU'RE GORGEOUS! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ" That's all I said. And then she said "aw bless your heart you're cute LOL." That was it. If u think I'm not gonna share my nonsensical stories with y'all YALL ARE WRONG I SHARE THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE MEANINGLESS BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚: Trang Nguyern @trangnnguyenn we our Chacos @DrSmashlove So I'm on the stairmaster tryina knock out this 103 steps per minute for 45 min right and I get to minute 38 and I'm cot damn feeling like I won't make it. My lungs are now coughing to try to draw air inside my body is like "MF WE WILL GO ON STRIKE U CAN ONLY PUT US THRU SO MUCH WE HAVE APPROVAL AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LOCAL 183 ELECTRICIANS BROTHERHOOD TO SHUT YO ASS DOWN BELEE DAT SHIT." But nah I kept going bc I AIN NO BISH (also, I'm stupid ๐Ÿค—). So the pretty lil woman next to me say "sir.........are you ok(?)" And I wanted to be like "BISH DON'T U SEE MY SPEED RN? I AIN'T DOING 65 STEPS PER MINUTE LIKE U WHICH IS A RESPECTABLE SPEED FOR KICKING YOUR LEGS OUT BEHIND U TO BUILD THAT UNDERBUTT-CREASE BC U TRYING TO GET A ASS THE NATURAL WAY AND NOT THE KARDASHIAN POOPY DIAPER SURGERY WAY BUT THIS SHIT LIKE SPRINTING UP A MOUNTAIN COT DAMMIT YES I'M OK LET A BROTHER BREAVE ๐Ÿ˜ค." But I didn't say that. I didn't say that shit at all ๐Ÿ˜‚. I said "ayeeee you don't have to call me sir! I'm not THAT old. I only have six grandkids ... THAT I KNOW ABOUT LOL LEMME STOP LYING I AIN OLD ENUF TO BE A GRANDPA HAHAHAHA I'M STUPID WYD THO." And she immeejally reply "ha! You got me beat. My first grand kid was just born so I have a while before I catch up!" Hold the damn phone bruh. She was pretty AF too. Like the math ain een make no damn sense. She 30? What did she do, have a daughter at age 15 and then THAT daughter had a baby at age 15? Or maybe she 45? Like she Lululemon down - and where she get the money for all this? And then I pictured her meeting a sweet old glucose guardian who was like "I don't mind that you have kids - I never wanted them - but I'll treat yours like mine โ˜บ๏ธ" and took care of her and now she living good AND THEN I REALIZED MAYBE SHE GOT HER OWN DAMN MONEY WHY SHE GOTTA BE A KEPT WOMAN MAYBE SHE INDEPENDENT AF SHAME ON ME SMASH FOR ASSUMING SHIT. Then I said "LOL NO WAY YOU'RE GORGEOUS! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ" That's all I said. And then she said "aw bless your heart you're cute LOL." That was it. If u think I'm not gonna share my nonsensical stories with y'all YALL ARE WRONG I SHARE THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE MEANINGLESS BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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Another Roomba-pet-mess review.: love it with a caveat November 4, 201 By Previously my wife and l read the post about someone's Roomba trailing through dog poop. We laughed and didn't think another thing about it Let me tell you how yesterday went. While at a training for work l receive a text message from my 10 year daughter Dad, please call me the floors are dead.' I assumed that auto correct had gotten involved and was trying to figure out what it had corrected from. Also in the back of my mind l assumed our 14 year old lab Dalmatian mix had passed away, only to be found by our daughter. attempted to call my daughter with no answer and then called my wife. My wife had received the same text and had talked to our daughter Our lab is fine, our daughter was not. It appears that during our absence our 85 pound Band-dog mastiff had a bit of stomach distress. This in its self isn't a big deal as pet owner we understand that periodically "poop happens." What caused our very articulate 10 year daughter to become stymied was the fact that Rudy (our Roomba's name at 1415 hours started his tour of duty Roomba's name) at 1415 hours started his tour of duty Our daughter entered the house at around 1430. Rudy had been diligently cleaning our house for 15 minutes give or take. It seems that he had made a bee line towards the piles of dog stomach distress and then gleefully in a poop filled rampage "cleaned" the house. don't know if dog excrement somehow is a super boost to Roombas (much like speed boosts on video games or if Rudy somewhere deep in his programing has a code built in that basically states "if dog mess is found, crank all operations up to 11 But it appears that in a very small bit of time he had somehow traversed into the master bedroom, the hall way, kitchen and of course the living room As any Roomba owner knows they travel in spiral patterns, they bump into walls and furniture and they stop and spin looking for dust or hair. This built in patterning is truly effective in the elimination of pet hair, dust and small bits of debris. This patterning also seems to mimic the path a three year old hopped up on red bull and given an open full paint can, would have. If you keep the afore mentioned three year old in mind and substitute poop for paint that is what we are looking at. Roombas also have a small propeller like, brush attachment. This attachment sticks out in front of the Roomba. Its' original purpose appears to be reaching into corners where the round Roomba cannot reach. Unfortunately, this attachment also seems to have the ability to violate the known laws of physics by flinging poop in all directions, angles around corners, inside locked cabinets, and oddly straight up in the air to hit a 12 foot ceiling. So give that three year old a fan and let them swing it around as much as possible So back to our daughter, as she entered the house she was struck by a smell that could only be described as Cerebos's backyard after being fed Taco Bell and shock, she looked down, up and around and observed the poopy Pollock patterning on the walls. She immediately went further into the house, (where she got the strength of will will never know to find her phone to text her parents Before she could reach her phone, a poop flinging Rudy turned the corner and the chase was on. I don't know what happen in the time between our daughter being spotted by the poop flinging Rudy and the text message because she refuses to talk about it. She was able to stop the rampage by disabling Rudy and moving him to the backyard. After which she sent the text. I do have a theory on why she sent the "floors are dead" text. She being a normal 10 year girl has yet to witness anything close to the atrocity she saw. Given that she could only process the thought "the floors are dead" In hopes we would call and she could articulate the carnage Back to my wife, I didn't get all the above information until after the event. I was talking to my wife when she initially entered the house. All heard was the garage door open about 20 seconds of silence, a very soft "oh God" and then her telling me "it's bad, I'll call you back.' In her shock, she forgot to hang up the phone and for the next 5 or so minutes l could hear snippets of "How did it get there? Why, Oh man we might need to buy a rug, we just put in new floors, Oh God arrived home at around 1830 hours. Our house smelt of beach and cleaning fluid. My wife and daughter both freshly showered, both sitting down, both having only what can be described as a 1000 yard stare. My wife did the thought "the floors are dead" In hopes we would call and she could articulate the carnage Back to my wife, I didn't get all the above information until after the event. was talking to my wife when she initially entered the house. All I heard was the garage door open about 20 seconds of silence, a very soft "oh God" and then her telling me "it's bad, l'll call you back" In her shock, she forgot to hang up the phone and for the next 5 or so minutes l could hear snippets of "How did it get there? Why, Oh man we might need to buy a rug, we just put in new floors, Oh God arrived home at around 1830 hours. Our house smelt of beach and cleaning fluid. My wife and daughter both freshly showered, both sitting down, both having only what can be described as a 1000 yard stare. My wife did say three words, "He is outside tried to take Rudy apart as much as light and my stomach would allow. As it stands right now some of his parts are soaking in a solution of bleach and water. I am hoping through the next week l will be able to thoroughly clean his outsides and insides So if I was to rate the Roomba l would highly suggest it others. We love the little guy, he has cleaned our floors without compliant, been a source of entertainment, and reduces our work load with our pets do have to add one caveat. If you own pets only allow the Roomba to work while you are there. Or you will spend a week cleaning out at poop filled Roomba 1,404 of 1,445 people found this review helpful Helpful Not Helpful Another Roomba-pet-mess review.

Another Roomba-pet-mess review.

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Ladies if u live with a man and y'all ain't married, watch how he make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Very important. If he use two knives, one for the peanut butter and one for the jelly, most likely he hygienic. Disciplined. Cleanly. U feel me? He play by the rules. On the other hand if he just slather the peanut butter on the bread and then jam that same knife with peanut butter all over it in the jelly? Veto that motherfvcker. That's a man who lacks a fundamental understanding on how to respect ingredients. In fact he disrespected the entire fridge. The entire kitchen. Indeed - the entire house. Like what if your sister bring your lil poopy-face nephew Timmy to the crib and he all "make me toast with jelly, auntie!" And u toast some bread and slather jelly on it now Timmy in the corner choking and asphyxiating and your sister stabbing multiple Epi pens in his thigh to save Timmy's life and u just like "IDK WTF HAPPENED?!" And your sister just like "did someone mix peanut butter in the jelly????" And u just like "wow my boyfriend Steven is a mixer, what a dickhead, he killed my nephew Timmy." U feel me? Life or death. Men like Steven are also just reckless and disrespectful. Like I be meeting girls and we get to talking and they all like "the only thing I won't do is anal" and I'm like "ok I feel that I don't like people putting things in my rear end too, but why" and usually the girl like "well the only experience I had is a guy who jammed it in without asking and without lube and I'm still scarred". What type of asshole would do this? Steven (no offense to men named Steven, I just had to pick a name lol.) In any event, ladies: sandwich test. U feel me? Watch the technique. Your nephew's life and the safety and sanctity of your rectum depend on it ... bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚: i love pitbulls @DrSmash love Ladies if u live with a man and y'all ain't married, watch how he make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Very important. If he use two knives, one for the peanut butter and one for the jelly, most likely he hygienic. Disciplined. Cleanly. U feel me? He play by the rules. On the other hand if he just slather the peanut butter on the bread and then jam that same knife with peanut butter all over it in the jelly? Veto that motherfvcker. That's a man who lacks a fundamental understanding on how to respect ingredients. In fact he disrespected the entire fridge. The entire kitchen. Indeed - the entire house. Like what if your sister bring your lil poopy-face nephew Timmy to the crib and he all "make me toast with jelly, auntie!" And u toast some bread and slather jelly on it now Timmy in the corner choking and asphyxiating and your sister stabbing multiple Epi pens in his thigh to save Timmy's life and u just like "IDK WTF HAPPENED?!" And your sister just like "did someone mix peanut butter in the jelly????" And u just like "wow my boyfriend Steven is a mixer, what a dickhead, he killed my nephew Timmy." U feel me? Life or death. Men like Steven are also just reckless and disrespectful. Like I be meeting girls and we get to talking and they all like "the only thing I won't do is anal" and I'm like "ok I feel that I don't like people putting things in my rear end too, but why" and usually the girl like "well the only experience I had is a guy who jammed it in without asking and without lube and I'm still scarred". What type of asshole would do this? Steven (no offense to men named Steven, I just had to pick a name lol.) In any event, ladies: sandwich test. U feel me? Watch the technique. Your nephew's life and the safety and sanctity of your rectum depend on it ... bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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Ladies I swear y'all are partly ninja by nature, lemme explain. U crash with a girl for two days. U with her every second of the day. U tracking her every movement. Y'all in a cot damn remote cabin in the woods. The girl will not poop in front of u. Not in the room. Not anywhere else. Did she literally poop on some leaves in the forest? Who knows. She a ninja, and she move like one. She'll have u thinking she litchrally don't poop - like she eat solid food and it evaporate out of her skin particles. Bruh u could be on vacation with a girl in the Philippines, find some weed, smoke it, get busted, get thrown in a prison cell WITH your bae, and she ain't gon poop in that prison cell. She gon wait till u schleep, blow the prison guard in exchange for access to the officer's bathroom, poop there, and then come back and u wake up and u like "baby...it's been six days...it's ok...u can poop" and she just like "LOL no baby I'm good I don't have to go! โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ’•" Nah but lemme be clear. U get serious with this girl. Y'all get comfortable. Maybe y'all hit the two year point. U gon wake up in a hotel with her. Actually u ain't gon wake up. U still in the bed, schleep. But in your dream, nuclear apocalypse has happened. There is death everywhere. U come upon a ravine filled with dead, rotting bodies. U feel me? Like a whole sea of dead people, rotting corpses, transforming into zombies. It hit your nostrils. U get the inclination to vomit but u just dry heaving. U sweating. Panicking. Doing the running man in the bed like your legs tryina propel u forward. And then u realize. The world hasn't ended. That rotten mammal flesh odor burning your nostrils that set off all your fear sensors? That's bae. She just pooped in your vicinity (hotel room bathroom, to be exact.) And yo life never gon be the same. U little savages Bruh? U little 102 pound joints? Mandy the lil blond with a button nose and the bird tattoo behind the ear? Y'all the worst. Stop it - y'all the worst. Of ALL. One poopie from one of u small girls and I'm in cardiac arrest. Men lemme burst your bubble right quick: girls poop. Just like us. All I'm saying is when it happen, be prepared. Ya get me? BE PREPARED ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚: INCASE UR HAVING A BAD DAY LOOK AT THIS DOG IT LOOKS LIKE A BUNNY @DrSmashlove ๆ–ฏๅฑฑ Ladies I swear y'all are partly ninja by nature, lemme explain. U crash with a girl for two days. U with her every second of the day. U tracking her every movement. Y'all in a cot damn remote cabin in the woods. The girl will not poop in front of u. Not in the room. Not anywhere else. Did she literally poop on some leaves in the forest? Who knows. She a ninja, and she move like one. She'll have u thinking she litchrally don't poop - like she eat solid food and it evaporate out of her skin particles. Bruh u could be on vacation with a girl in the Philippines, find some weed, smoke it, get busted, get thrown in a prison cell WITH your bae, and she ain't gon poop in that prison cell. She gon wait till u schleep, blow the prison guard in exchange for access to the officer's bathroom, poop there, and then come back and u wake up and u like "baby...it's been six days...it's ok...u can poop" and she just like "LOL no baby I'm good I don't have to go! โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ’•" Nah but lemme be clear. U get serious with this girl. Y'all get comfortable. Maybe y'all hit the two year point. U gon wake up in a hotel with her. Actually u ain't gon wake up. U still in the bed, schleep. But in your dream, nuclear apocalypse has happened. There is death everywhere. U come upon a ravine filled with dead, rotting bodies. U feel me? Like a whole sea of dead people, rotting corpses, transforming into zombies. It hit your nostrils. U get the inclination to vomit but u just dry heaving. U sweating. Panicking. Doing the running man in the bed like your legs tryina propel u forward. And then u realize. The world hasn't ended. That rotten mammal flesh odor burning your nostrils that set off all your fear sensors? That's bae. She just pooped in your vicinity (hotel room bathroom, to be exact.) And yo life never gon be the same. U little savages Bruh? U little 102 pound joints? Mandy the lil blond with a button nose and the bird tattoo behind the ear? Y'all the worst. Stop it - y'all the worst. Of ALL. One poopie from one of u small girls and I'm in cardiac arrest. Men lemme burst your bubble right quick: girls poop. Just like us. All I'm saying is when it happen, be prepared. Ya get me? BE PREPARED ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Ladies I swear y'all are partly ninja by nature, lemme explain. U crash with a girl for two days. U with her every second of the day. U t...

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