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๐Ÿ”ฅ | Latest

Tumblr, Blog, and Com: <p><a href="https://daily-blep.tumblr.com/post/168322309461/potty-blep" class="tumblr_blog">daily-blep</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Potty Blep</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://daily-blep.tumblr.com/post/168322309461/potty-blep" class="tumblr_blog">daily-blep</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Potty Blep</...

Bless Up, Chance the Rapper, and Life: u/Fio_Fiddlesworth ld imgur So my Mom sold one of her schnauzer puppies to an aspiring photographer DrSmashlove So u know how I said a few weeks ago that I tried all the healthy ice creams and I was done with them, and I was going back to real ice cream? About that. See there comes a time in yo life when u realize: u just ainโ€™t about that life. It come at different times for different people. Some of u pretty ladies go to music festivals. And yโ€™all got that friend Mandy. Mandy got a lil marketing gig in the city where she make a good wage. Went to a good school. Seem normal. But she different. U knew it when u hit Lollapalooza with her and watched her pop a Molly, pop three pills where she ainโ€™t even know what pills they are, some cool white kid in a Larry Bird jersey just handed them to yโ€™all so she took them, smoked a blunt, then snorted coke with that same kid in a port a potty. U seen her 15 min later vibing to Chance the Rapper while a lil bit of puke dribbled out the corner of her mouth while she looked around crazily and on that day, u had a realization: u ainโ€™t bout that life. Mandy? Bout that life. U? Not about that life ๐Ÿ˜‚. Thatโ€™s me with ice cream. I went to Mariano super market. Grabbed some Ben and Jerry Cookie Dough. Seen it had 60 grams fat - 1,120 calories-pint. Gently caressed my 6 pack over my t shirt. And reflected on the fact that Iโ€™m just not bout that life. So I copped some skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. Each one got 160 calories. I eat two to get satisfied and thatโ€™s plenty. I gotta eat seven them b!tches to equal one pint of Ben and Jerry. I used to be bigger. Had a 36 waist. Ate whatever I wanted. I canโ€™t go back to that place. Iโ€™m a new smash. U feel me? Iโ€™m in a different place. Iโ€™ll eat B + J once in a blue moon bc it (and Jeniโ€™s) are still the GOATs but for daily use, imma stick to these skinny cows. P.s. Skinny cow please make them rectangular with a paper (not plastic) cover. On the rare occasion my mama bought us a box of generic ice cream sandwiches, peeling the paper off as it sticks to the ice cream on the side and then liiiiiicking it up the side was the best part. The adult equivalent is peeling the panties off a woman, seeing them stick to the Nani, and liiiiiiiicking...well, yโ€™all get the point ๐Ÿค—. Bless up! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So u know how I said a few weeks ago that I tried all the healthy ice creams and I was done with them, and I was going back to real ice crea...

Advice, Ass, and Bless Up: Family time is good doggo time.. @DrSmashlove So yesterday one of my followers asked me to write about the perfect bj. And just like that...writers block gone ๐Ÿ˜‚. Now this is a topic that's near and dear to my heat bc I'm not a huge fan of blowski's, so for a blowski to catch my fancy it gotta be legendary. Why? The answer is twofold: (1) nothing beats the soft, warm confines of the four walls of the Punanius Maximus. (2) I don't beat my meat so when I bust, a lot has built up by then, and I'm a fire hose ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’ฆ. Now look. As a brother, we can't just engage in extremely reckless activity. We might squeeze your throat, but not too hard. Give you a sexy lil slap...but not to hard. U feel me? This shit wouldn't play well in a police report ๐Ÿ˜•. So likewise what if attempt to empty the banana clip in yo throat and I "over-produced"? What if yo lungs are overwhelmed and u drown? Bam: smash in handcuffs being interrogated for homicide by one of them big ass coppers who's mainly fat but also some muscle so he built like a port-a-potty with a crew cut and he all: "AT ANY TIME MR. SMASH DID YOU EVER FEEL LIKE MAYBE THE GAGGING MEANT SHE COULDN'T BREATHE?" Me: "sir I plead the fif until my Jewish lawyer get her it's Saturday afternoon so we it's gon be a couples hours until sunset he observes the sabbath bless up thank you ๐Ÿ’•." So what's a good bj? Forget about everything Cosmo magazine told u. About using your hand to twist and pull and create a funnel etc. I've been with exactly one girl who converted me when it came to head-top and the way she did it is, she wouldn't let me bust anywhere except her throat. I would physically try to retreat and she lunge forward and throw it in her throat and look up at me with tears in her eyes while she took every drop. So my advice? Let the throat do the work, and drown on the dih ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚. A bit painful but as when u eat the Nani - U gotta submerse yourself to get the full effect. One more thing. This girl, who is a legend, never - ever - bragged about her prowess. Let this be a lesson to yall who spend hours talmbout how incredible your ___ game is. If you surprise them, it's that much more intense! Ya get me! Bless up! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So yesterday one of my followers asked me to write about the perfect bj. And just like that...writers block gone ๐Ÿ˜‚. Now this is a topic that...

Memes, Party, and Shit: Secret party area at a festival @shmeatriu5 we must find the secret porta-potty-party ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ imagine finding this while completely tripping balls, shit would fuck me up ๐Ÿ˜‚

@shmeatriu5 we must find the secret porta-potty-party ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ imagine finding this while completely tripping balls, shit would fuck me u...

Children, Comfortable, and Girls: HER TWO LITTLE DAUGHTERS WERE STRANDED IN A BUS FOR 5 HOURS. BUT SHE NEVER THOUGHT COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD DO THIS So tonight my two little girls were stranded on a bus in Arnold/lmperial on Miller road for 5 hours. Bus 23. They are in 1st and 3rd grade. Being a parent I was in agony, panicked, worried sick. We couldn't reach or even talk to them. These girls are our whole world. imagined they were scared, hungry, unable to potty, cold, the awful things that went through my mind were limitless. Complete strangers who lived along the road took action. They linked arms, and helped these children across the road and into their homes to let them potty. They brought them snacks and waters. When i finally could talk to them, they had been playing games and singing songs. They were warm and happy. So if I could, I just have to say thank you to these strangers and bus drivers. l couldn't thank you enough. I don't know if you will ever know how grateful we are that you did this for these children. This could have been a very traumatic situation for these children. But you all really made it bearable. You protected them, made sure they were comfortable and had everything they needed. And you didn't have to. I thank you and I hope you see this somehow. <p>Her Two Little Daughters Were Stranded In A Bus For 5 Hours. But She Never Thought Complete Strangers Would Do This.</p>

<p>Her Two Little Daughters Were Stranded In A Bus For 5 Hours. But She Never Thought Complete Strangers Would Do This.</p>

God, Oh My God, and Period: My character's hame is Rocket. Hes a genetically enhanced raccoon witha gun fetish. <p><a href="http://sperari.tumblr.com/post/102829591486/foundloveinbudapest-obsessiforge" class="tumblr_blog">sperari</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://foundloveinbudapest.tumblr.com/post/102829111761/obsessiforge-bluandorange-so-ive-got-this" class="tumblr_blog">foundloveinbudapest</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://obsessiforge.tumblr.com/post/101934507070/bluandorange-so-ive-got-this-headcanon-that">obsessiforge</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/post/101827855795/so-ive-got-this-headcanon-that-guardians-of-the">bluandorange</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>so <a href="http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/tagged/avengers%20play%20gotg/chrono">Iโ€™ve got this headcanon</a> that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Buckyโ€™s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trollingย </p> <p>Mostly from Steve</p> <p><em>Especially</em> from Steve</p> </blockquote> <p>Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by โ€“</p> <p>Tony who just created what he sees himself as โ€“ the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.</p> <p>Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesnโ€™t get metaphors)</p> <p>and Bruce whoโ€™s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says โ€œI am Grootโ€ and lets Steve decide</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh my god.</p> </blockquote> <p>Headcanon accepted <em>so hard</em></p> </blockquote> <p>But I thought we accepted that Tony is Rocket and Steve is Starlord. I mean Steve is someone from a different time period trapped in a new world, and Tony is an alcoholic weapons master with a potty mouth.</p>

<p><a href="http://sperari.tumblr.com/post/102829591486/foundloveinbudapest-obsessiforge" class="tumblr_blog">sperari</a>:</p> <blockquote> ...