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Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards >be me mormonfag church boring as fuck not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for my family hate testimony week basically open mic day once a week at church people go up and are supposed to talk about how great god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they are and what vacation they went on last literally just a big dick measuring contest new family moves into ward pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself rather than see that happen. not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable as fuck downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as you'd think anyway testimony week comes around, dreading it first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot of people on his mission >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie roar from across the room "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie. no dick measuring with him around next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk about how much she loves her husband, and how he took the whole family on a trip to mexico recently Downie interrupts "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially borderline gay for downie later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward ever we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it real we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be 6.5 kB JPG 33 min. ago. Anonymous | 44806137 cont next week, Downey takes it up a notclh mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but the talks can suuuuuuck worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk and they ramble for an hour and a half old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all about to go insane when downie stands up YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO lady wraps up we're all in fucking awe of this god among us anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out its fucking amazing >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left. the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies. me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone downie asks if he can tell us a secret we say sure, you can tell us anything "Dah tole me wat to say all those times. >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years because he knew it was helping him have friends. >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel 1 REPLY Anon goes to church

Anon goes to church

Donald Trump, Family, and Marriage: Like Father, Like Son: Donald Trump Jr. Reportedly Had An Affair With Aubrey O'Day While His Wife Was Pregnant @balleralert Like Father, Like Son: Donald Trump Jr. Reportedly Had An Affair With Aubrey O’Day While His Wife Was Pregnant - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Extramarital affairs and divorce must run in the Trump family, as new reports reveal Donald Trump Jr. had been fooling around with someone other than his longtime wife, Vanessa. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Back when Jr. was the “adviser” on his father’s popular NBC show, the eldest of the Trump bunch fell for Danity Kane star, AubreyODay. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ At the time, Aubrey was a contestant on “The Celebrity Apprentice,” and Jr. had “pursued her. It was him who chased her,” a source told Page Six. “He told her his marriage was already in the process of dissolving. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ By then, Jr. and his wife had already been together for about six years and were expecting their third child together. However, according to Page Six, the two were going nowhere fast in their already rocky relationship. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I think his marriage to Vanessa was over long before Aubrey came along,” the source claimed, meanwhile another source claimed “that was the start of the downfall [of their marriage]. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The news of Jr.’s relations with Aubrey comes on the heels of Vanessa’s divorce filing. Several sources say their split was a long time coming, but it remains unclear what exactly tipped her over the edge.

Like Father, Like Son: Donald Trump Jr. Reportedly Had An Affair With Aubrey O’Day While His Wife Was Pregnant - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀...

Bruno Mars, Coachella, and Memes: Cardi B Is Reportedly Due in July, But Won't Let Pregnancy Stop Her From Performing At Coachella @balleralert 0) Cardi B Is Reportedly Due in July, But Won’t Let Pregnancy Stop Her From Performing At Coachella - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Although CardiB has maintained she is not expecting a new baller baby, sources close to the rapper say otherwise. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Back in February, the rapper’s team spilled the tea about the alleged pregnancy, but she denied the rumors. Instead, she ditched the crop tops for cover-ups and buried herself in her music. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, according to TMZ, Cardi B is due this summer. In fact, sources tell the publication that the rapper is due in July, just two months before her Bruno Mars tour and two months after her scheduled Coachella performance. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But, the fact that the Bronx-bred raptress will be seven months pregnant by the time Coachella comes around is of no concern to Cardi B. With nearly $100k per night on the line, the rapper will not let her alleged pregnancy get in the way of her money. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, it remains unclear if Cardi is actually expecting, as she has yet to confirm the claims. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What are your thoughts?

Cardi B Is Reportedly Due in July, But Won’t Let Pregnancy Stop Her From Performing At Coachella - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ...