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Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe.
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Donald Trump, Memes, and Twitter: (@Scavino45/Twitter) Earlier, President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence received an emergency preparedness update on the impact of Florence along the East Coast.

Earlier, President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence received an emergency preparedness update on the impact of Florence along the ...

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Bad, Cars, and Friends: poerobots: The first hint that something might be different this time came the morning after the shootings, from a Douglas High School sophomore named Sarah Chadwick, who informed the President of the United States, via his favorite medium, in words that quickly went viral, “I don’t want your condolences you fucking piece of shit, my friends and teachers were shot.”Their grief was raw, their rage palpable. Emma Gonzalez, a senior at Douglas, had the most searing indictment:“The people in the government who were voted into power are lying to us. And us kids seem to be the only ones who notice and are prepared to call B.S.“Companies, trying to make caricatures of the teen-agers nowadays, saying that all we are are self-involved and trend-obsessed and they hush us into submissions when our message doesn’t reach the ears of the nation, we are prepared to call B.S.“Politicians who sit in their gilded House and Senate seats funded by the N.R.A., telling us nothing could ever be done to prevent this: we call B.S.“They say that tougher gun laws do not prevent gun violence: we call B.S.”The crowd was now joining in.“They say a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun: we call B.S.“They say guns are just tools, like knives, and are as dangerous as cars: we call B.S.“They say that no laws would have been able to prevent the hundreds of senseless tragedies that occur: we call B.S.“That us kids don’t know what we’re talking about, that we’re too young to understand how the government works.” The crowd was now in a frenzy of anger and sadness, the people around me were tearing up as they yelled, “We call B.S.”And then, in unison, the people gathered began to chant, “Vote them out, vote them out, vote them out.”– Emily Witt, The New Yorker
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Cheating, Family, and Food: Cody Johnston @drmistercody The "all-time high" is .09%. Seems worth starving the remaining 99.91% over. Yes? Fox News @FoxNews Food stamp fraud at all-time high: Is it time to end the program? bit.ly/2ioovW4 12/27/16, 6:15 PM mockturtle29: constant-instigator: landlordkiller420: anarchapella: comcastkills: profeminist: Source even if the fraud was like 5% it wouldn’t compare to rich people cheating the system by trillions lmao Also, SNAP “fraud” is like exchanging some of your stamps for cash to buy necessities you can’t buy with stamps, like soap or deodorant or tampons TBH even if one hundred percent of people on food stamps were committing food stamp fraud I’d still be in favor of keeping the program around Hey I wanna talk about this. I work at a drug addiction counseling center. A ton of my clients have, at one time or another, sold their food stamps. This is basically exactly what the GOP is afraid of, right? Drug addicts selling their food stamps. I have learned, now, to ask them WHY they sold their food stamps. Here is an incomplete list of the answers: - I need tampons, and you can’t buy them with foodstamps - See above RE: toilet paper - I was living in a hotel with no kitchen then. I had to buy pre-prepared food - The homeless shelter won’t let me keep food in my locker or room, so I have to buy pre-prepared food (Yes, really) - I had to make rent - My sister had to make rent - My son had to make rent - I needed co-pays to get my medication or I’ll die - I needed co-pays to get my medication or I’ll loose control of my mental health But the absolute most common form of food stamp fraud I see? Giving away food stamps to other family members who get no food stamps or insufficient food stamps to feed their families. I see that every month. People glassy eyed and hungry because they gave away their food to their adult kids, their grand kids, cousins, siblings etc. So, is food stamp fraud rampant? In some places, yes. And I’m not about to chastise people for it. This needs to be said over and over.

mockturtle29: constant-instigator: landlordkiller420: anarchapella: comcastkills: profeminist: Source even if the fraud was like 5% it...

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Apparently, Fresh, and Tumblr: Excellent Radiant source f Farms Sparkles UNICORN MEAT odut of Ireland Bi NET WT 5.5 0 (156) Top customer reviews George Takei ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam July 9, 2013 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah, the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it. Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward) Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is. I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger. Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse novelty-gift-ideas: Canned Unicorn Meat

novelty-gift-ideas: Canned Unicorn Meat

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Beer, Confidence, and Driving: Friendly to the point that you become suspicious of their intent. 1. Americans generally are more confident in the way they present themselves, most other countries tend to be more reserved. Walk into a room full of different nationalities, l guarantee the American person will be the first to introduce themselves. It's a confidence thing, and I admire it. 2. 3. When they use the imperial system. 4. Wearing sneakers with anything 5. Big smiles, firm handshakes Using big adjectives generously ("Wow, your aunt's kidney stones sound awesome!" or "This Euroshopper beer tastes great!") 6. Mostly it's the 'prepared for anything' look they have about them (fanny pack, backpack bottled water, camera pouch) compared to various other tourists Asians tend to herd together for safety, while Europeans vary between blend-right-in Scandinavian to designer-brands-everywhere French and traffic-laws-are-for-others Italian. But Americans are the only ones who seem to view a perfectly civilized, modern city like some kind of uncharted jungle that doesn't have places to shelter in the rain or buy cheap bottled water. 7. They say 'great' and are not being sarcastic. I can't even begin to imagine making a sentence where great actually means great. 8. 9. Constant clapping. Being surprised about the topless models on page 3. 10. Speaking as a former barman or "bartender" as American customers would say... tipping! No British person will ever tip a barman. l'll occasionally get bought a drink by drunk ladies or gents, but Brits actually giving me money for doing a job that I was already being paid for? Never happened. I would listen for American accents (which were easy to hear due to their natural loudness) and immediately serve them next. 11. Americans describe distances in driving time, as opposed to miles or kilometers. 12. The dead giveaway is when they call you "honey" or "sweetie" or "darling" 13. 14. North face jackets. Everywhere. Incredibly loud but incredibly friendly. Very often you can hear them before you see them 15. strixus: acavatica: fairkid-forever: kkatkkrap: dfwm: mymindsecho: pr1nceshawn: Giveaways that someone is American, as told by non-Americans. Americans tag yourself: I’m friendly to the point that your suspicious of my intent mixed with calling you sweetie, darling, honey, etc. im the barman I’m “easy to hear due to their natural loudness.” I’m “they say great without being sarcastic” I’m “uses big adjectives generously.” I’m #7 even in my own city.

strixus: acavatica: fairkid-forever: kkatkkrap: dfwm: mymindsecho: pr1nceshawn: Giveaways that someone is American, as told by non-Am...

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Cheating, Family, and Food: Cody Johnston @drmistercody The "all-time high" is .09%. Seems worth starving the remaining 99.91% over. Yes? Fox News @FoxNews Food stamp fraud at all-time high: Is it time to end the program? bit.ly/2ioovW4 12/27/16, 6:15 PM constant-instigator: landlordkiller420: anarchapella: comcastkills: profeminist: Source even if the fraud was like 5% it wouldn’t compare to rich people cheating the system by trillions lmao Also, SNAP “fraud” is like exchanging some of your stamps for cash to buy necessities you can’t buy with stamps, like soap or deodorant or tampons TBH even if one hundred percent of people on food stamps were committing food stamp fraud I’d still be in favor of keeping the program around Hey I wanna talk about this. I work at a drug addiction counseling center. A ton of my clients have, at one time or another, sold their food stamps. This is basically exactly what the GOP is afraid of, right? Drug addicts selling their food stamps. I have learned, now, to ask them WHY they sold their food stamps. Here is an incomplete list of the answers: - I need tampons, and you can’t buy them with foodstamps - See above RE: toilet paper - I was living in a hotel with no kitchen then. I had to buy pre-prepared food - The homeless shelter won’t let me keep food in my locker or room, so I have to buy pre-prepared food (Yes, really) - I had to make rent - My sister had to make rent - My son had to make rent - I needed co-pays to get my medication or I’ll die - I needed co-pays to get my medication or I’ll loose control of my mental health But the absolute most common form of food stamp fraud I see? Giving away food stamps to other family members who get no food stamps or insufficient food stamps to feed their families. I see that every month. People glassy eyed and hungry because they gave away their food to their adult kids, their grand kids, cousins, siblings etc. So, is food stamp fraud rampant? In some places, yes. And I’m not about to chastise people for it.

constant-instigator: landlordkiller420: anarchapella: comcastkills: profeminist: Source even if the fraud was like 5% it wouldn’t compar...

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Hello, Love, and Shit: jumpingiacktrash vertisol ndedfunyarin dduane aurelai standbyfortitanfall thal heliosapollo losed A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN yes hello i am here to learn geometries That crow is more prepared than some of my students. You've all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There's been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectiy possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans. Corvids. Who KNOWS.) Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn't know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are they still shit all over the place and eat garbage ok but so do we Obligatory reference to Unidan
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Hello, Love, and Shit: jumpingjacktrash: vertisol: offendedfunyarinpa: dduane: laurelai: angelalchemy: standbyfortitanfall: girlwithalessonplan: heliosapollo: losed: A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN yes hello i am here to learn geometries That crow is more prepared than some of my students. You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL.  THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans. Corvids. Who KNOWS. :) Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are. they still shit all over the place and eat garbage ok but so do we
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