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Dank, Memes, and Target: Proper gaming setup by Shadow474747 MORE MEMES

Proper gaming setup by Shadow474747 MORE MEMES

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Being Alone, Apparently, and Bad: ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are. Compare with this image from the GQ article last February: Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc. The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone? His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person. Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.
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Dank, Memes, and Money: [2.1] First, when the pirates demanded a ransom of twenty talents, Caesar burst out laughing They did not know, he said, who it was that they had captured, and he volunteered to pay fifty [2.2] Then, when he had sent his followers to the various cities in order to raise the money and was left with one friend and two servants among these Cilicians, about the most bloodthirsty people in the world, he treated them so highhandedly that, whenever he wanted to sleep, he would send to them and tell them to stop talking [2.3] For thirty-eight days, with the greatest unconcern, he joined in all their games and exer- cises, just as if he was their leader instead of their prisoner [2.4] He also wrote poems and speeches which he read aloud to them, and if they failed to ad- mire his work, he would call them to their faces illiterate savages, and would often laughingly threaten to have them all hanged. They were much taken with this and attributed his freedom of speech to a kind of simplicity in his character or boyish playlulness. [2.5] However, the ransom arrived from Miletus and, as soon as he had paid it and been set free, he immediately manned some ships and set sail from the harbor of Miletus against the pirates. He found them still there, lying at anchor off the island, and he captured nearly all of them. [2.6] He took their property as spoils of war and put the men themselves into the prison at Pergamon. He then went in person to [Marcus] Junius, the governorof Asia, thinking it proper that he, as praetor in charge of the province, should see to the punishment of the prisoners. [2.7] Junius, however, cast longing eyes at the money, which came to a considerable sum, and kept saying that he needed time to look into the case.Caesar paid no further attention to him. He went to Pergamon, took the pirates out of prison and crucified the lot of them, just as he had often told them he would do when he was on the island and they imagined that he was jok- ing Julius Caesar, patron saint of trolls by evil_mipmie_de MORE MEMES

Julius Caesar, patron saint of trolls by evil_mipmie_de MORE MEMES

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Ass, Bad, and Bad Day: Straight guy worries he's being homophobic to gay roommate, realizes he's fallen in love with him Plot twist: it turns out I don't have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it's me he's kissing. hutchj: artemuscain-gamingandbs: mamatronchatoro: puppygays: oh god, they were roommates This straight guy, who we’ll call Mike, has been roommates with Alex for a year. When Alex told Mike he was gay, he was absolutely fine with it. But then when Alex started to bring guys home…he started getting annoyed, resentful, disgusted. Posting on Reddit, he said: ‘First things first, let me say that I’ve never thought of myself as being discriminatory before. I had a gay friend in high school and we made it through some tough times together, I never felt weird about him dating a guy. So all of this is coming out of nowhere. ‘”Alex” has been my roommate for one year, and I pretty much knew upfront about him being gay. At some point we became friendly enough with each other that we could even joke about it, as in, sometimes he’ll pretend to flirt with me and I’ll pretend to flirt back. I’m straight and he knows that, but I don’t feel threatened by him flirting with me and he says most straight guys do. ‘The problems started because of this: Alex brings guys home sometimes. At the start I thought I was okay with it, since it’s really not my business who he sleeps with. He’s usually discreet enough about it that I don’t see/hear anything I wouldn’t want to see/hear from anyone else, but for some reason I’ve started feeling weird if I even see him with other guys. ‘I don’t know when it started but one time that really sticks out to me is when I came home and saw him and some guy making out on the couch. I don’t know how to describe what it was like to see that, except that for a moment I felt so bad I thought I was going to throw up. Alex was embarrassed (he didn’t think I’d be back for a while), but I told him it was okay since I was embarrassed too. ‘I felt bad for being as disgusted as I was, since there’s NO good reason for me to have a reaction like that. I thought maybe they just caught me by surprise and that’s why I reacted so strongly, but it turned out it wasn’t a one-time thing. After that, every time he has a guy over (not that often, but every once in a while) I just start feeling like shit and wishing that guy would leave, and I can’t stop thinking about what these guys might have done to him even though I don’t want to imagine that. It makes me really uncomfortable and grossed out. And these are just guys he fools around with, I don’t know what I’d do if he ends up getting an actual boyfriend. ‘Alex has started to notice and it’s affecting our friendship. The other day I came home right when some guy was about to leave, and the guy tried to be polite to me but I ended up being rude to him (don’t remember what I said, but it was really obvious I was pissed). When the guy left, Alex asked me why I was being an asshole. I didn’t know what to say, but then he asked if I had a problem with him sleeping with other guys. I said no. For some reason that pissed him off more and he said I can’t complain since I used to bring my fuckbuddy over and he was forced to see me being affectionate with her sometimes. (I was in an FWB situation with a girl in the early days of me and Alex living together, but I broke it off after a few months and I haven’t done anything with anyone since.) I agreed with him and told him I was just having a bad day and I don’t care who he sleeps with, but he looked more upset and told me he’s going to a friend’s place to cool off. I said okay. When he was leaving for some reason he casually said, “and you’ll be okay if I sleep with him as long as I do at his place and not ours, right?” Or something like that. I told him it’s none of my business what he does at someone else’s place, but when he said that I felt sick to my stomach and couldn’t stop thinking about it. ‘He didn’t show up later that night even though he was supposed to hang out with me and my sister. He’s never blown me off before and it made me feel like shit, but part of it was my fault since I made him feel like I was judging him for sleeping with guys. Now he’s acting like nothing happened but I’m worried I might mess things up if it happens again. I want to keep him as a friend, but he’d be hurt if he knew that whenever I think about him with other guys it disgusts me. ‘How do I deal with this? I’ve never been homophobic but I’ve suddenly developed some kind of homophobia where just the idea of my roommate’s sex life makes me uncomfortable. And I don’t react like this to other gay people either, it’s just Alex. I don’t know if this means I’m only okay with gay people as long as I’m not living with them or what. Does anyone else have experience with this? I want to get over myself and stop whatever this is, but if I can’t I’m going to have to leave since the last thing I want to do is hurt Alex, and if I stay here and keep automatically judging him for his lifestyle that’s what’s going to happen. ‘tl;dr: Roommate is gay, I am not but I thought I was okay with him being gay until I realised I feel crappy when I see him with other guys and it’s started to affect our friendship. How to deal with this/stop being such a dick?’ One Redditor asked: ‘Are you sure that weird feeling isn’t jealousy…? i mean, this only seems to revolve around Alex specifically.’ And Mike responded: ‘I thought about that, but I don’t know what I’m meant to be jealous of. He definitely has a more active sex life than I do, but reacting like this to something like that seems really strange and irrational.’ The Redditor responded: ‘Yeah i thought maybe you don’t like seeing Alex with other people because you want his attention to yourself?’ ‘The day I made the post, I met up with my sister Laura [24F] and I showed her the post. She read the whole thing and called me an oblivious walnut and said it sounds like I have a crush on Alex. The same conclusion some of you came to in the original post. ‘Anyway, she talked me through it and we confirmed I’m not as straight as I thought I was. She also pointed out something in my original post, where I said the more I tried to reassure him I didn’t mind who he slept with, the more he got upset. Also: how he brought my old FWB situation into it. I just thought he was understandably mad with me for being an asshole, but Laura thought it sounded like maybe Alex wanted me to be jealous? We moved on from that topic pretty quickly, though, since I couldn’t really handle the implications of that when I’d JUST started to understand that I like this guy. ‘The next few days were mostly me sitting on my ass trying to wrap my head around everything. I was scared of messing up our friendship and losing him, but I was even more scared that I might just let this pass without saying anything and then he gets a boyfriend and I have to see him with another guy…etc. Because if that happened I would probably have to end it anyway, since as we’ve established, I’m not great at dealing with him being with other guys. ‘Probably could have planned it better, but I told him. Right after a Tarantino marathon, if anyone’s interested, since nothing says romance like graphic violence. I told him I’ve been such a dick because I was jealous. I don’t think he got what I was getting at because he just laughed a little and said I didn’t have to be jealous since it wasn’t like I’d have any trouble finding people to sleep with me. No clue how I explained, it’s a blur. Luckily he saw how nervous I was so he knew I was serious. ‘We talked. Long story short: all that flirting was real, but Alex didn’t have any hope of it going further because of me being an oblivious “straight” guy. So he’s been trying to get over me. He laughed really hard when I told him about how I mistook my jealousy for homophobia, and he teased me by saying he’d never expected me to be the jealous type. Then again, we both ended up laughing a lot of out of nervousness and awkwardness. I’ve never seen him like that before since he’s usually pretty confident. In the end we agreed to maybe try something out, and we kissed. Never kissed anyone with a beard before, so…interesting experience, but also really good. (Plot twist: it turns out I don’t have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it’s me he’s kissing.) ‘Since then we’ve kind of been easing into the whole dating thing, I guess? I know this place is wary about roommate relationships and I get why, but it’s been great so far. We had our first proper date last weekend and it was incredible, though a bit weird since we’ve done that a thousand times already and this time there was a new context. At home we still do our normal thing, but sometimes we get distracted. Last night I almost burned dinner because I had to kiss him and we got kind of carried away, haha. We’re taking the whole sex thing slow though since I’ve never done anything with another guy before. ‘I’m a little worried about coming out to my family and my other friends, especially since this is almost as new for me as it would be for them. My parents are very openminded and my mom especially loves Alex. But I have some more conservative family members on my dad’s side, and I can already imagine them blaming Alex for turning me gay. They can also be pretty racist (Laura’s boyfriend is Latino so she knows all about that) and Alex is mixed. It’s something to think about in the longterm, I guess. Alex has said he doesn’t expect me to jump out of the closet right away, but if we end up calling ourselves a couple then I’m not going to keep him a secret or anything. ‘So…we’re trying. And I am not a homophobe, and nobody needed therapy. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was this happy, and I never would have expected this when I made that first post. It’s a good thing some of you picked up on the actual problem and tried to get it through to me despite me being an oblivious walnut, so…thanks, guys.’ Funniest self-realization in the world? ‘Plot twist: it turns out I don’t have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it’s me he’s kissing.’ This was…. cute??? Someone make a movie out of this b/c this was an emotional roller coaster. 
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Be Like, Fucking, and Jealous: coupdefoudreylo: coupdefoudreylo So. Today in class we assigned Macbeth roles to students to read. When l asked the class who wants to be Lady Macbeth, a young man raised his hand. I kind of stared at him like "Lady Macbeth," and he nodded like "I know what I'm about ma'am." So then the student who ended up as Macbeth raised his hand and said "HES THE ONE, HE'S MYWIFE! So l said "yeah sure why not," and the entire class period they were blowing kisses to each other and winking at each other, and every now and then Macbeth would say "I'm the luckiest man on Earth" and Lady Macbeth would put a hand to his chest, and be like "BABE! I just stared at them, knowing that they CLEARLY have never read'Macbeth' before, so... all this lovey dovey... I don't know if I have the heart to tell them the truth. Update: Macbeth is absolutely willing to fucking throw down for Lady Macbeth. Has already threatened a wall, a desk a few students, a textbook that was neither his nor Lady Macbeth's, and me Lady Macbeth is enjoying the attention and has begun to use this new connection to his advantage. I'm starting to suspect he's read ahead in the play. Macbeth is going to end up living in detention at this rate. Macbeth has no idea that he is the tragedy of the story. Claims to be the hero of the play,fails to see the irony in this Macbeth slowly scooted his desk across the classroom to hold hands with Lady Macbeth. He was not subtle. Macbeth has proposed on several occasions. Lady Macbeth just laughs and says they're already married. Macbeth's girlfriend is in the class with them and is "totally not jealous or anything just thinks this whole fucking play is a waste of time" Lady Macbeth should probably be a theatre major at some point, he fucking rocked Act V scene l Other teachers and staff are emailing me about the "lovely lords. Lady Macbeth now refuses to answer to anything other than Lady Macbeth and is always very upset when people don't call him by his proper title. Thats Shakespeare in love
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Alive, Animals, and Cats: Meg OVeganMegane Vegans who feed their pets meat: u guys have gotta see the bigger picture. We shouldn't support animal exploitation w/ our money That's it. 7/13/16, 10:50 PM aer @thelilmermade @VeganMegane yes um so how would I feed my cat? 7/13/16, 11:02 PM lI VIEW TWEET ACTIVITY Meg @VeganMegane @thelilmermade is your cat male or 7m female? :) check out this website for more info: vegancats.com/ veganfaq.php Meg @VeganMegane @thelilmermade I know you want to best for your companion, and I won't deny that there are risks, but you can minimise those risks! 5m nautica-the-savant: marbledmartin: thegrumpymathematician: nunyabizni: sarcasmsuitsme: skypig357: iswearimnotnaked: hi hello CATS!!!! CANNOT!!!! BE VEGAN!!!!! i cannot believe i have to fucking say this. dogs are omnivore and IF YOUR VET APPROVES your pooch MAY be able to go on an APPROVED(!!!!!) commercial vegan dog food like the brand “v-dog” which has all the essential vitamins, protein, etc. (the oldest record winning dogs have been vegan) cats are CARNIVORE and cannot fucking live on a vegan diet. a vet would laugh in your face and probably find some way to have your pet taken away from you because you’re obviously not fit to have an animal if you think you can feed a cat a diet based on your own ethics i’m vegan but this is so fucking harmful. it’s about minimizing your harm, not putting your animals on risky diets in an attempt to be perfect. DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO YOUR PETS Idiot people If you see someone you know doing this, report them for animal cruelty and neglect. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This posts, and many of the notes on it, are bothering me. Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed colleagues from outside the confines of the gender binary; gather ‘round. Let’s throw some science in this joint. 1. Humans. Humans are not cats. Humans are not dogs. One would think this obvious, but people have a tendency to attempt such interspecies comparisons when discussing diet. Humans are order omnivora; we have essentially evolved in a manner that attempts to give us as much dietary flexibility as possible. We do, however, require a substance called B12 (or cobalamin), which is extremely important for brain and nervous system functions, as well as the synthesis of DNA and the construction of red blood cells. We cannot produce this vitamin ourselves–no animal, plant, or fungus can. The enzymes used in cobalamin production are essentially unique to bacteria and archaea–some species of which hang out in the digestive tracks of other animals. We get cobalamin in a roundabout way from fish, shellfish, meat, eggs, milk, and dairy products. While there is no naturally-occurring, vegan source of the vitamin that has been demonstrated effective in a human study of statistically significant sample size, effective synthetic forms do exist and can be used as a substitute.  Cyanocobalamin is one of the most common and is frequently found in fortified foods and vitamins. In short: Humans are omnivores. Humans have evolved for dietary flexibility, including viable vegetarianism. Humans did not evolve for veganism (be extremely suspicious of people who tell you that we did, as they are lying), but due to modern technologies, veganism is also a viable diet that humans can thrive on, should they so choose. 2. Cats. Cats are order carnivora. Cats require (amongst other things) an amino acid called taurine. We’re not quite sure how, exactly, but we know that it’s extremely important to feline heart wall tissue, retinal tissue, and brain tissue amongst other things. Cats cannot manufacture their own taurine, and must get it from other sources–primarily shellfish, fish and meat. Taurine breaks down when heated, so feeding your cat a home-cooked diet rich in this foods is also not necessarily a good idea (talk to a vet). Secondary (read: SUPPLEMENTARY. NOT A SOLE SOURCE OF TAURINE.) sources of taurine for cats include dairy, eggs, and seaweed- or yeast-based taurine supplements. In nature, cats don’t really need to worry about getting enough taurine, because (as you may have noticed), taurine sources are indeed the things that cats tend to catch and eat. However, a cat that lives in a human household is dependent on humans for food, and sometimes humans are utter fucktrucks. In short: Cats are obligate carnivores. Their primary source of nutrition is meat. They must eat meat, preferably as close to raw as possible. They have digestive tracks designed for digesting meat. There are vegan/vegetarian cat kibbles on the market. Do not buy them. Your cat is neither vegan nor vegetarian, and if you adjust their diet as if they were, you are a terrible person who is harming and possibly killing your pet. You suck. End of discussion. 3. Dogs. Dogs are slightly more nuanced here. They are facultative carnivores–meaning that they optimally should eat meat, but can survive on other things if resources are scare. Dogs also need the amino acid taurine, but can technically manufacture it themselves if the proper building blocks are in their diets. They also need vitamin D–D3 is preferable, but D2 can be used to some degree. Dogs are somewhere between us (the true omnivore) and the cat (the true carnivore). A vegan or vegetarian diet will keep a dog alive, certainly, but is unlikely to allow your pet to thrive as it lacks the recommended nutrients. You should probably be feeding your dog meat. The exception here–some dogs are allergic to conventional dog foods, or find symptoms of certain diseases alleviated by vegetarianism. In this case, a veterinarian (not you, layperson, I mean an actual trained veterinarian) may determine that the benefits of putting your dog on a vegetarian/vegan diet outweigh those of feeding your dog meat. This is relatively rare, but does occasionally happen. And no, actually, the oldest dog is not vegan–Bramble is the only dog on this list that I found had some indication of veganism. The oldest dog on record is an Australian Kelpie named Maggie, who was not vegan. It is more likely that Bramble lived that long despite the veganism, not because of it. In short: If a vet thinks that your dog may be allergic to dog food/require a special diet and recommends you try feeding it a vegetarian/vegan diet, listen to your vet. Otherwise? Dogs are carnivora. They do need vegetables and other sources of nutrients, but their optimal fuel, as it were, is meat. Your dog needs meat to be happy. Fucking feed your dog.  Now, I did manage to find two veterinarians who disagree with every other study I dug up and the American Veterinary Medical Association. Their articles are here and here. They don’t really have sources, and are essentially wholly dependent on anecdotal evidence (“my dog is a vegetarian and hasn’t died!”), but for those of you data cherry-pickers reading this, there you go.  As a rule, dogs and cats need meat. If that makes you uncomfortable, that is your problem, not theirs. If you try to implement a vegan or vegetarian diet for your pets because you implemented one for yourself, you shouldn’t have those pets. That is animal abuse. (By the way, those of you not feeding your cats and non-allergic dogs the food they need to survive and thrive? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not love your pets?) TL;DR If you do not want a pet that must be fed meat, you should under no circumstances acquire a cat or a dog. Thank you for your time. Rebloobing for the more detailed info on B12 and obligate carnivore vs true omnivores Always reblog.
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Bones, Butt, and Definitely: If you 'Share' this image, it may save dignity of atleast one girl in this world. Kindly share this) 41 4 1 2 STEP1 STEP 2 STEP 3 STEP 4 STEP5 STEP 6 STEP 8 STEP 9 This could save someone's life, please Share it. full-proof-goof: pizzoner: mayra-quijotesca: trustisforfools: mrspiritual: musicalpandas: gainingconfidencexo: havocados: emorenita: why aren’t these being reblogged more often?i rather see these than “keys in hand” Fatality Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest?  I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :) Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you. Step 2: Duck! Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you. Step 4: Knee him in the balls. Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo. Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead. Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push. Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two. reblogging again for that^ Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on. yes nice

full-proof-goof: pizzoner: mayra-quijotesca: trustisforfools: mrspiritual: musicalpandas: gainingconfidencexo: havocados: emorenita: ...

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Children, Christmas, and Cookies: "In our family, we have a special way of transitioning the kids from receiving from Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the Santa construct is not a lie that gets discovered, but an unfolding series of good deeds and Christmas spirit When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready | take them out "for coffee" at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made "You sure have arown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but l can see that your heart has grown, too. [ Point out 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior, consideration of people's feelings, good deeds etc, the kıd has done in the past year]. In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you are ready to become a Santa Claus You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up ike him. Some of vour friends miaht have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that, because they arent ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE Tell me the best things about Santa. What does Santa get for all of his trouble? [lead the kid from cookies to the good feeling of having done something for someone else]. Well, now YOU are ready to do your first job as a Santa!" Make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone We then have the child choose someone they know-a neighbor, usually. Ihe child'S mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it-and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving My oldest chose the "witch lady" on the corner. She really Was horrible--had a fence around the house and would never let the kids go in and get a stray ball or Frisbee. Shed yell at them to play quieter, etc--a real pill. He noticed when we drove to school that she came out every morning to get her paper in bare feet, so he decided she needed slippers. So then he had to go spy and decide how big her feet were. He hid in the bushes one Saturday, and decided she was a medium. We went to Kmart and bought warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and tagged it "merry Christmas from Santa. After dinner one evening, he slipped down to her house, and slid the package under her driveway gate. The next morning, we watched her waddle out to get the paper, pick up the present, and go inside. My son was all excited, and couldn't wait to see what would happen next. The next morning, as we drove off, there she was, out getting her paper--wearing the slippers. He was ecstatic. I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did, or he wouldn't be a Santa Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them. One year, he polished up his bike, put a new seat on it, and gave it to one of our friend's daughters. These people were and are very poor. We did ask the dad if it was ok The look on her face, when she saw the bike on the patio with a big bow on it, was almost as good as the look on my son's face When it came time for Son #2 to join the ranks, my oldest came along, and helpeo with the induction speech. They are both excellent gifters, by the way, and never felt that they had been lied to-because they were let in on the Secret of Beinga Santa ofmoonlightandthesun: libertarirynn: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius Love this. I’ve often thought about how to incorporate the magic of “Santa” with the real lessons in generosity as inspired by St. Nicholas. omg this is honestly such a sweet idea! Saving for future child.

ofmoonlightandthesun: libertarirynn: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius Love this. I’ve often thought abou...

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Baseball, Books, and Christmas: What? enterprising-gentleman: the-fandoms-are-cool: fantasticbeastmovie: the-fandoms-are-cool: can we please talk about this # 1998 is a hard year for jackie # even working two jobs money is tight # (especially with rose’s gymnastic lessons # but rose loves them and jackie will sell her own kidneys to ensure she can keep attending) # and christmas is just around the corner # she looks over her books and feels ill: # she simply can’t afford to get rose any proper gift this year # and it breaks her heart # because rose is so excited # she loves christmas # keeps saying how she hopes it’ll snow this year # proper like # and christmas eve jackie is up late # worrying and hating how disappointed rose is gonna be come morning # when she wakes up to see the floor is almost empty beneath the tree # and that’s when there’s a knock at the door # she opens it # (with a baseball bat at the ready - it’s late on the estate after all) # and there’s no one there # just a red child-sized bike # with a note attached # ‘she’s gonna be fantastic’ it reads in messy loopy handwriting # ‘merry christmas’ # and normally she’d be worried about weirdos and stalkers but tonight # tonight it’s christmas eve and jackie tyler knows when not to look a gift horse in the mouth # so she hauls it inside quiet as she can # and the next morning when she’s awoken by the sound of rose crashing her new bike # into the hallway mirror # shrieking in delight the entire time # she takes a moment to say a silent thank you (via) and now I’m crying #oh my god#what if he just got that idea like right then#and said it to her#and then went and did it#and since their timelines aren’t parallel there’s no paradox (x)
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Animals, Children, and Definitely: dxmedstudent: meatball-surgeon: gehayi: taigas-den: howtoimpersonateanadult: nightkunoichi: thetoxicginger: polar-solstice: nightkunoichi: A friendly reminder not to put undiluted essential oils on your skin. My mint essential oil ate through this styrofoam cup in aroun 20-30 mins when i got pulled away before i diluted it. And it was only about 4-5 drops. Someone once bought me undiluted tea tree oil facial pads and told me to put undiluted tea tree oil on my face as an acne treatment, and I had to show her that it stripped the paint off metal with no scrubbing before she realized why that was a terrible idea. DILUTE. YOUR. OILS. https://www.aromaweb.com/articles/dilutingessentialoils.asp This is a good website that explains in more depth why you don’t use raw essential oil on skin and how to dilute it with a proper “carriers” ie. Lotions, veg/coconut/ect oils and others. A good rule of thumb thought is to use a carrier that isn’t water and low viscosity. Also don’t use essential oils then go into the sun wait about 30-40 mins to adsorbed into the skin because it will boil/fry your skin. reblogging for the reference! Also don’t put undiluted oils in a container other than the one they came in, or a different one made for that purpose. Many essential oils deteriorate in light, which is why they come in dark bottles. People always are saying to put undiluted tea tree oil on dogs as a natural flea and tick treatment. Please don’t. Their skin peels like ours does I have a scar on my left arm due to essential oils. A colleague at work was selling them and insisted that essential oils couldn’t hurt anyone. For the record, it burned me like it was acid. PLEASE don’t leave essential oils where kids can get at them! They’re horribly corrosive, and very toxic even in small doses. Sincerely, an emergency doc who has seen too many kids who drank the stuff. Completely agree. Just because they are ‘natural’, does not mean they are safe. Because they are NOT natural in the form that is sold. They are highly concentrated forms of chemicals found in much smaller quantities in nature. The concentrated stuff is only ever meant to be used diluted, and as directed. Having had to look them up on toxbase whilst I was a paeds doc, I definitely recommend keeping them well out of the reach of children and animals.

dxmedstudent: meatball-surgeon: gehayi: taigas-den: howtoimpersonateanadult: nightkunoichi: thetoxicginger: polar-solstice: nightkun...

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Apparently, Bitch, and Children: An Incomplete List of Notable Peoplel Delivered Pizza To... tybaar It's coming up on a year now since I got my curent job as a pizza delivery girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the lttle ever- expanding WTFPIZZA note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh -interesting deliveries So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash. A woman who slipped me a business card (in ieu of tip) for a laser tatto0 removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be. At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice. - An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pead-handled .32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (I do) and also, #1 could load it for her (I didnt). -A group of EMTs hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire. -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the mal system and demanded my social security number so he could report me to the proper authorties A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them. - A hotel room full of badass middie-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them. A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans. Multiple instances of people asking if# I would sell them pot. (bitch get your own dealer sheesh) A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter -A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote "get a real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt. A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in every shot Multiple prank deliveries joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered) - An elderty man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit receipt - A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he works so hard. He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldnt do anything. A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail -A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me. A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully, HIS copy of the receipt. An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza. -A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote 0.00 in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the For section A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) al about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dolar order. I dunno. - An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the floor and muttered 1... I don't know... - Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis - A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned to vomit into her mailbox A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a fullgrown woman - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display racks, tables, shelves- everywhere. - A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add. A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear anything he was saying. An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could score him holowpoint bulets. - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios nstead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag this was so worth reading Souroe: tybaar story time his is. 219,895 notes realy cool actualy Pizza for Strange People
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Ass, Fucking, and Head: TO ALL EMPLOYEES It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated. The management does, however, realise the importance of each person being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the management has compiled the following code phrases so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue. OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE I'm not certain that's feasible. No fucking way You've got to be shitting me. Tell someone who gives a fuck Ask me if I give a fuck. Really Perhaps you should check with <name>, . Of course I'm concerned. I wasn't involved in that project. . I'm not sure I can implement this. Are you sure it's a problem? Interesting behaviour. Fuck it, it won't work... When the fuck do you expect me to do this. He's got his head up his ass........ Why the fuck didn't you tell me that sooner..I'Il try to schedule that. ..Perhaps I can work late. He's not familiar with the problem. ..You don't say. Eat shit and die, motherfucker.... What the fuck do they want from my life?. Excuse me, <sir or ma'am>? They weren't happy with it? Kiss my ass.. Fuck it, I'm on salary.. So you'd like my help with that? andrea-booksdreams: loquacious-lucy: nkoatsumeme: alien-fricker: tag yourself i’m ask me if i give a fuck It’s not my fucking problem im what the fuck do they want from my life Kiss my ass Fuck it, it wont work
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Tumblr, Blog, and Http: BOBO SYRUP SYRUP 183 armedandgayngerous: coonfootproductions: Proper punctuation is everything, people. you: nutme, an intellectual: boy syrup

armedandgayngerous: coonfootproductions: Proper punctuation is everything, people. you: nutme, an intellectual: boy syrup

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