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regex and html: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
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lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
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Unicöde: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal 4421 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES Unicöde
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How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regēx-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of corrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent-slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comøs, his unholy radiañcé destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking from your eyeslike liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see ft it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ISLOSTALL IS LOST the pony h comes he com t egichor permeates al My FACE tyEACE b god no NO NOOOO NO stop the an les are not 4422 DA Have you tried using an XML parser instead? How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?
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Coffee Shop IRL: havingbeenbreathedout Sometimes I think back on the time I spent working as a barista, and it seems SO STRANGE to me that "coffee shop AU" has become synonymous with narratives that are low on conflict, high on wholesome romance. During the year l spent working at a coffee shop A coworker of mine took a bunch of psyche- delics, walked through some strangers' plate- glass door, and threatened them with a bowie knife, leading to his arrest and imprisonment (and, needless to say, a late opening for the coffee shop that morning) Another coworker, an ex-military type with a young wife and a new baby, decided to smoke up for the first time ever with two other mutual coworkers, in the back of one of their trucks; and ended up having a three-way with them which ended his marriage .I had a nervous breakdown, stopped being able to eat food or hold conversations, and ended up sleeping on my coworker's couch for three weeks before she finally called my parents to come collect me Multiple store managers were fired for embezzlement. (Reminder: this was within the space of a single year.) .Yet another coworker, who was seventeen at the time, started dog-sitting for a couple of regulars in their (I'm guessing) early 50s, and ended up in an ongoing creepy and incidentally illegal relationship~ with them both Various employees discovered, in the course of cleaning the bathrooms: couples fucking in the bathrooms; junkies passed out in the bathrooms; drunks puking in the bathrooms; both adults and children weeping in the bathrooms, a woman bleeding all over the bathroom from a gash in her throat (??); a dude standing in the middle of the bathroom floor and pissing in the opposite direction from the toilet, so that when the employee opened the unlocked door she got piss all over her (????) The owner of the bridal shop across the street was exposed as both abusive toward her employees and also cooking the books, which led to my coffee shop taking on a couple of untrained and weirdly conservative bridal shop workers for a few months while the bridal shop was shuttered and sold to new owners. Later the larcenous former bridal shop owner came down with some horrible disease which caused her to lose both her hands There was a regular universally referred to as Sketchy Steve," who came in at 7am for a three- shot latte with room for Seagrams 7, and de drugs to all us baristas. I actually, at one point cannot believe I was this stupid), went Sketchy Steve's house, and allowed him to spend like half an hour showing me his collection of découpaged outlet plates and also soliciting me for sex while I uncomfortably yet studiously declined Right before I started, the store manager had walked off the job in the middle of a shift, and side of the employees had walked out after him None of them ever returned Like, working on the front lines of food service was the most operatically sordid professional experience I have ever had, and one of the most surreal; and it is hilarious to me that THAT, of all jobs, is the one that has come to stand for soft-focus domestic romance in fandom circles wenamedthedogkylo This is the Coffee Shop AU we deserve Coffee Shop IRL
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AldenRants 29-50 @spnsalsa asked me to rant about dream clichés! MMBDOHNN GEHD ME SCHHTARBDED, sorry, all of my teeth inexplicably just fell out. NOW THAT THAT PREDICTABLE REFERENCE IS OUT OF THE WAY let's get down to the nitty gritty of our sleepy psyche! THE TIME I'M ASLEEP IS APPARENTLY THE TIME WHICH MY BRAIN BELIEVES IS THE APPROPRIATE OPPORTUNITY TO COMPENSATE FOR ALL THE MEANINGLESS HUMDRUM I PUT IT THROUGH THROUGHOUT THE DAY. Like, thanks, Brain, that'd be great and all if you weren't a fucking lunatic! I SHOULD KNOW! YOU THINK I'M HAVING FUN WHEN REALLY I ENVISION YOU AS FREDDIE KRUEGER GETTING BOOED OFF THE STAGE AT A POETRY SLAM FOR CONFUSING EVERYBODY. EVERY NIGHT I GO TO SLEEP IS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT I'M POSSIBLY GETTING SENTENCED TO A NIGHT IN TWILIGHT ZONE WHERE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MAKES SENSE. HELP ME OUT A LITTLE WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. AT LEAST GET CREATIVE. I DON'T NEED TO BE WALTZING AROUND IN PUBLIC MISSING MY PANTS ANY MOMENT I LOOK DOWN YOU SICK FUCK. I DON'T REQUIRE DOORS THAT ARE 3 INCHES AWAY FROM THE DOORFRAME WHEN I TRY TO CLOSE THEM BECAUSE THE MONSTER YOUUUU CONCOCTED, MIGHT I ADD, IS CHASING ME. AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T NEED TO BE LEGALLY BLIND IN MY DREAMS WHERE EVERYTHING IS SO DARK THAT I'M LEFT WITH NOTHING TO DO IN MY DREAMS EXCEPT FIND LAMPS TO TURN ON!?!? BUT PLOT TWIST! None of the lights I turn on help because FUCK ME THAT'S WHY! And DON'T you go blaming it on me being like "It's because you're stressed :)" OR "It's because you're unbearably insecure about your current situation in life :)" OR "It's because you don't floss :)" I'M AS CALM AND COLLECTED AS CAN BE: The trees say fuck you I SPEAK FOR THE TREES adiostoreadumb: My snapchats are literally the best AldenRants 29-50 @spnsalsa asked me to rant about dream clichés! MMBDOHNN GEHD ME SCHHTARBDED, sorry, all of my teeth inexplicably just fell out. NOW THAT THAT PREDICTABLE REFERENCE IS OUT OF THE WAY let's get down to the nitty gritty of our sleepy psyche! THE TIME I'M ASLEEP IS APPARENTLY THE TIME WHICH MY BRAIN BELIEVES IS THE APPROPRIATE OPPORTUNITY TO COMPENSATE FOR ALL THE MEANINGLESS HUMDRUM I PUT IT THROUGH THROUGHOUT THE DAY. Like, thanks, Brain, that'd be great and all if you weren't a fucking lunatic! I SHOULD KNOW! YOU THINK I'M HAVING FUN WHEN REALLY I ENVISION YOU AS FREDDIE KRUEGER GETTING BOOED OFF THE STAGE AT A POETRY SLAM FOR CONFUSING EVERYBODY. EVERY NIGHT I GO TO SLEEP IS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT I'M POSSIBLY GETTING SENTENCED TO A NIGHT IN TWILIGHT ZONE WHERE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MAKES SENSE. HELP ME OUT A LITTLE WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. AT LEAST GET CREATIVE. I DON'T NEED TO BE WALTZING AROUND IN PUBLIC MISSING MY PANTS ANY MOMENT I LOOK DOWN YOU SICK FUCK. I DON'T REQUIRE DOORS THAT ARE 3 INCHES AWAY FROM THE DOORFRAME WHEN I TRY TO CLOSE THEM BECAUSE THE MONSTER YOUUUU CONCOCTED, MIGHT I ADD, IS CHASING ME. AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T NEED TO BE LEGALLY BLIND IN MY DREAMS WHERE EVERYTHING IS SO DARK THAT I'M LEFT WITH NOTHING TO DO IN MY DREAMS EXCEPT FIND LAMPS TO TURN ON!?!? BUT PLOT TWIST! None of the lights I turn on help because FUCK ME THAT'S WHY! And DON'T you go blaming it on me being like "It's because you're stressed :)" OR "It's because you're unbearably insecure about your current situation in life :)" OR "It's because you don't floss :)" I'M AS CALM AND COLLECTED AS CAN BE
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<p>The power of a compliment via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2q2u5Av">http://ift.tt/2q2u5Av</a></p>: -1 99red balloons 136 points 3 hours ago I'm a girl. Not too long ago I was out shopping and passed a guy who smelled really good. Knowing that guys don't often receive compliments from girls I turned around, tapped him on the shoulder and said something like "I just wanted to say, you smell really great". The dude's face totally lit up. I didn't say it to flirt with him, but the thought did occur to me that if a girl wants to approach a guy, a genuine compliment would be a great way to do it. permalink embed save parent report give gold reply -1 wagerbut 178 points 2 hours ago Guarantee he wore the same cologne every time he went out for the next 7-10 years permalink embed save parent report give gold reply [- FelonyMonk 152 points 2 hours ago* You're really underestimating the power that compliments have on the male psyche. He'll wear that cologne everyday. Every morning he'll spray it on and feel special and attractive. He'll wear it on his first date with his future wife. He'll wear it on his wedding day. He'll wear it until one random day his wife will make an off hand comment about how she never really liked his cologne. He'll stop wearing it after that because he loves his wife and she means more to him than anyone else. But sometimes, he'll dig out the old cologne from the back of the medicine cabinet and smell its familiar scent and remember the day when he was young, and a pretty girl paid him a compliment. permalink embed save parent edit disable inbox replies delete reply 1 - BeforeArms 45 points an hour ago Why did you have to go and tell my life story to everyone? permalink embed save parent report give gold reply [- FelonyMonk 16 points an hour ago Sorry, it was too good not to share. permalink embed save parent edit disable inbox replies delete reply [-] davisdamen [score hidden] 10 minutes ago This is an amazing comment, r/wholesomememes worthy permalink embed save parent report give gold reply <p>The power of a compliment via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2q2u5Av">http://ift.tt/2q2u5Av</a></p>

<p>The power of a compliment via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2q2u5Av">http://ift.tt/2q2u5Av</a></p>

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"The ABC's of The Joker" - J is for "Joker": In this celebration of the Clown Prince of Crime, it is important to include Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo's dissection of this twisted mind in the self titled graphic novel "Joker" from 2008. Told from the point of view of henchman Jonny Frost, the Joker mysteriously is released from Arkham Asylum. With the help of Jonny and Harley Quinn, this Harlequin of Hate seeks to get what he believes is rightfully his - Gotham City - from Harvey Dent aka Two-Face, which sets off a bloody and gruesome turf war. Fueled by pills, sex and murder, Jonny observes the Joker as a complex being, not sure how he processes the chaos that he ensues on a wide range of victims, from low level thugs who double crossed him to innocent Gothamites. Unable to control the spontaneous rage from Joker and his crew, Harvey asks the help of the only person that can contain the 'disease' that is Joker, the Batman, who seemingly finds and apprehends his greatest enemy. Including dialogue between Joker and other rogues such as Killer Croc, The Penguin and The Riddler, Azzarello brilliantly succeeds in diving into the hideous psyche Joker possesses. Azzarello's script combined with Bermejo's depiction of Gotham City, its inhabitants (including the Batman) and the gritty world that breathes life into Joker's actions showcase both a villain with human emotions and a being with demonizing qualities. An essential read for any fans of this classic rogue, "Joker" shows that "the safest place to hide is in sanity." ✌🏼💜💚🃏📚: THE JOKER WAS BENG RELEASED FROM ARKAHAM SFOR OK ISTORTOFTIIEBIT MAN "The ABC's of The Joker" - J is for "Joker": In this celebration of the Clown Prince of Crime, it is important to include Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo's dissection of this twisted mind in the self titled graphic novel "Joker" from 2008. Told from the point of view of henchman Jonny Frost, the Joker mysteriously is released from Arkham Asylum. With the help of Jonny and Harley Quinn, this Harlequin of Hate seeks to get what he believes is rightfully his - Gotham City - from Harvey Dent aka Two-Face, which sets off a bloody and gruesome turf war. Fueled by pills, sex and murder, Jonny observes the Joker as a complex being, not sure how he processes the chaos that he ensues on a wide range of victims, from low level thugs who double crossed him to innocent Gothamites. Unable to control the spontaneous rage from Joker and his crew, Harvey asks the help of the only person that can contain the 'disease' that is Joker, the Batman, who seemingly finds and apprehends his greatest enemy. Including dialogue between Joker and other rogues such as Killer Croc, The Penguin and The Riddler, Azzarello brilliantly succeeds in diving into the hideous psyche Joker possesses. Azzarello's script combined with Bermejo's depiction of Gotham City, its inhabitants (including the Batman) and the gritty world that breathes life into Joker's actions showcase both a villain with human emotions and a being with demonizing qualities. An essential read for any fans of this classic rogue, "Joker" shows that "the safest place to hide is in sanity." ✌🏼💜💚🃏📚

"The ABC's of The Joker" - J is for "Joker": In this celebration of the Clown Prince of Crime, it is important to include Brian Azzarello...

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