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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR U MEN OUT HERE THINKING SHIT SWEET. IF U STUPIDLY JUMP OFF A STUPID HIGH DIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YO STUPID LIFE, NOTE THAT AFTER YO LEGS GLIDE GRACEFULLY THRU THE WATER LIKE A HOT KNIFE THRU BUTTER, THE FIRST BODY PART THAT WILL ACTUALLY SLAP THE WATER - HARD AF - AWKWARDLY AF - IS YO TESTES. REMEMBER THAT TIME IN FIRST GRADE U GOT INTO A FIGHT AND LIL HOMIE KICKED U IN THE NUTS? PICTURE THAT SHIT ALL OVER AGAIN EXCEPT NOW U OLDER AND YO BODY IS LESS RESILIENT AND U IN A POOL AND U CAN'T SHOW ANY PAIN OR ELSE THE 15 YEAR OLD LIFEGUARD WILL HAVE TO "save" YOU EXCEPT THEY DON'T GET PAID ENUF TO SAVE U SO IF U GET SAVED U GON BE KNOWN AS DUDE WHO HAD TO GET SAVED AND U GOTTA MOVE TO A NEW CITY AND CHANGE YO NAME AND EVEN THEN, U DEATHLY AFRAID THAT ISSA "lifeguard chat room" ONLINE WHERE THEY SHARE STORIES ABOUT THE COUPLE MOTHERFUCKERS EVERY SUMMER THAT NEED TO BE SAVED SO U SHOW UP IN DENVER LIKE "they don't even know me here ☺️" LIKE SHIT'S SWEET AND U SHOW UP AT A POOL AND THE LIFEGUARDS ALL CONSORTING AND GIGGLING LIKE "LOL that's smash, from Chicago - he had to be saved HAHAHAHA" AND THEN U GOTTA MOVE TO THE BEIJING OFFICE OF YO FIRM AND JUST NEVER SWIM THERE. THOUGHT SHIT WAS SWEET? NOW U LIVE IN CHINA. CURRENT SITUATION: HOLDING A BOTTLE OF ICE WATER BETWEEN MY LEGS AGAINST MY NUTS TRYING NOT TO PUKE. I WISH THIS PAIN ON *NONE* OF YOU 😩 eunuch castrated TurningOverANewLeaf WhichBathroomDoIUseNow HonestQuestion πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚: Two husky buddies @DrSmashlove PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR U MEN OUT HERE THINKING SHIT SWEET. IF U STUPIDLY JUMP OFF A STUPID HIGH DIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YO STUPID LIFE, NOTE THAT AFTER YO LEGS GLIDE GRACEFULLY THRU THE WATER LIKE A HOT KNIFE THRU BUTTER, THE FIRST BODY PART THAT WILL ACTUALLY SLAP THE WATER - HARD AF - AWKWARDLY AF - IS YO TESTES. REMEMBER THAT TIME IN FIRST GRADE U GOT INTO A FIGHT AND LIL HOMIE KICKED U IN THE NUTS? PICTURE THAT SHIT ALL OVER AGAIN EXCEPT NOW U OLDER AND YO BODY IS LESS RESILIENT AND U IN A POOL AND U CAN'T SHOW ANY PAIN OR ELSE THE 15 YEAR OLD LIFEGUARD WILL HAVE TO "save" YOU EXCEPT THEY DON'T GET PAID ENUF TO SAVE U SO IF U GET SAVED U GON BE KNOWN AS DUDE WHO HAD TO GET SAVED AND U GOTTA MOVE TO A NEW CITY AND CHANGE YO NAME AND EVEN THEN, U DEATHLY AFRAID THAT ISSA "lifeguard chat room" ONLINE WHERE THEY SHARE STORIES ABOUT THE COUPLE MOTHERFUCKERS EVERY SUMMER THAT NEED TO BE SAVED SO U SHOW UP IN DENVER LIKE "they don't even know me here ☺️" LIKE SHIT'S SWEET AND U SHOW UP AT A POOL AND THE LIFEGUARDS ALL CONSORTING AND GIGGLING LIKE "LOL that's smash, from Chicago - he had to be saved HAHAHAHA" AND THEN U GOTTA MOVE TO THE BEIJING OFFICE OF YO FIRM AND JUST NEVER SWIM THERE. THOUGHT SHIT WAS SWEET? NOW U LIVE IN CHINA. CURRENT SITUATION: HOLDING A BOTTLE OF ICE WATER BETWEEN MY LEGS AGAINST MY NUTS TRYING NOT TO PUKE. I WISH THIS PAIN ON *NONE* OF YOU 😩 eunuch castrated TurningOverANewLeaf WhichBathroomDoIUseNow HonestQuestion πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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HUMANDoD Kisah kutukan ini terjadi di Aceh Tengah, tepatnya di pinggiran danau laut tawar Kota Takengon Desa, Mandale Kecamatan Kebayakan Aceh Tengah. Tempat tersebut hingga saat ini masih sering dikunjungi para wisatawan yang ingin mengetahui kisah misteri yang terjadi masa lampau itu. Kawasan wisata Takengon ini memang menyimpan banyak kisah legenda salah satunya cerita Puteri Pukes yang menjadi patung batu karena kena kutukan Ibunya sendiri. Mengenai kisah Puteri Pukes ini konon pernah terjadi dimasa lampau yang berawal dari pernikahan seorang putri cantik dengan seorang pangeran yang dicintainya. Konon pernikahan itu tidak direstui Ibunda sang Putri sehingga harus berakhir dengan petaka. Namun dalam versi lain sang putri terkena kutukan lantaran menendang Ibunya saat sedang sholat. Pada saat itu ia sedang galau karena menunggu suami tercintanya yang tidak kunjung pulang dari peperangan padahal sudah berbulan-bulan bahkan bertahun-tahun waktu berlalu namun tidak ada kabar pasti tentang suami tercinta Mengetahui putrinya yang selalu dirundung kesedihan, seperti biasa Ibunya datang ke rumah Pukes, tempat ia tinggal bersama suaminya dan selalu memberi nasehat seperti pada umumnya dilakukan seorang ibu terhadap anaknya tercinta Namun sang puteri yang sudah sangat rindu pada suaminya tidak pernah menggubris setiap ucapan yang keluar dari mulut ibunya. Suatu ketika Ibunya datang kembali dan membujuk Pukes untuk bisa melupakan suaminya dan meyakinkan bahwa suminya tidak akan kembali karena sudah bertahun-tahun tidak ada kabar beritanya. Pukes yang tidak terima dengan bujukan itu akhirnya merasa terganggu atas kehadiran Ibu yang seakan memutus harapannya untuk bisa bertemu kembali dengan sang suami tercinta. Untuk menumpahkan kekesalannya akhirnya Pukes bertindak diluar nalar, kemudian menendang Ibunya saat sedang sholat, saat itulah sang ibu merasa apa yang dilakukan anaknya sudah tidak pantas sehingga berdoa kepada yang maha kuasa agar memberi pelajaran pada anaknya, doa itupun akhirnya dikabulkan sehingga membuat Pukes berlahan-lahan berubah menjadi batu. Sumber: http:-www.tuliat.com: Tragedi Putri pukes ikutuk Tadi Patung Batu di Aceh HUMANDoD Kisah kutukan ini terjadi di Aceh Tengah, tepatnya di pinggiran danau laut tawar Kota Takengon Desa, Mandale Kecamatan Kebayakan Aceh Tengah. Tempat tersebut hingga saat ini masih sering dikunjungi para wisatawan yang ingin mengetahui kisah misteri yang terjadi masa lampau itu. Kawasan wisata Takengon ini memang menyimpan banyak kisah legenda salah satunya cerita Puteri Pukes yang menjadi patung batu karena kena kutukan Ibunya sendiri. Mengenai kisah Puteri Pukes ini konon pernah terjadi dimasa lampau yang berawal dari pernikahan seorang putri cantik dengan seorang pangeran yang dicintainya. Konon pernikahan itu tidak direstui Ibunda sang Putri sehingga harus berakhir dengan petaka. Namun dalam versi lain sang putri terkena kutukan lantaran menendang Ibunya saat sedang sholat. Pada saat itu ia sedang galau karena menunggu suami tercintanya yang tidak kunjung pulang dari peperangan padahal sudah berbulan-bulan bahkan bertahun-tahun waktu berlalu namun tidak ada kabar pasti tentang suami tercinta Mengetahui putrinya yang selalu dirundung kesedihan, seperti biasa Ibunya datang ke rumah Pukes, tempat ia tinggal bersama suaminya dan selalu memberi nasehat seperti pada umumnya dilakukan seorang ibu terhadap anaknya tercinta Namun sang puteri yang sudah sangat rindu pada suaminya tidak pernah menggubris setiap ucapan yang keluar dari mulut ibunya. Suatu ketika Ibunya datang kembali dan membujuk Pukes untuk bisa melupakan suaminya dan meyakinkan bahwa suminya tidak akan kembali karena sudah bertahun-tahun tidak ada kabar beritanya. Pukes yang tidak terima dengan bujukan itu akhirnya merasa terganggu atas kehadiran Ibu yang seakan memutus harapannya untuk bisa bertemu kembali dengan sang suami tercinta. Untuk menumpahkan kekesalannya akhirnya Pukes bertindak diluar nalar, kemudian menendang Ibunya saat sedang sholat, saat itulah sang ibu merasa apa yang dilakukan anaknya sudah tidak pantas sehingga berdoa kepada yang maha kuasa agar memberi pelajaran pada anaknya, doa itupun akhirnya dikabulkan sehingga membuat Pukes berlahan-lahan berubah menjadi batu. Sumber: http:-www.tuliat.com

HUMANDoD Kisah kutukan ini terjadi di Aceh Tengah, tepatnya di pinggiran danau laut tawar Kota Takengon Desa, Mandale Kecamatan Kebayakan...

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My sisters tweets make me laugh mad hard she's so funny ~Michaela ( @michaela.heller_ )β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’ TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGS tumblrtextpost tumblrposts textpost tumblr shrek instatumblr memes posts phan funnythings πŸ˜‚ same funny haha loltumblr lol relatable rarepepe funnythings funnytextposts pepeislife meme funnystuff pepe food spam: ta. You Retweeted what @chanel puke someone shaved this whole cat except for it's face omg My sisters tweets make me laugh mad hard she's so funny ~Michaela ( @michaela.heller_ )β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’ TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGS tumblrtextpost tumblrposts textpost tumblr shrek instatumblr memes posts phan funnythings πŸ˜‚ same funny haha loltumblr lol relatable rarepepe funnythings funnytextposts pepeislife meme funnystuff pepe food spam

My sisters tweets make me laugh mad hard she's so funny ~Michaela ( @michaela.heller_ )β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’ TAGS TAGS TAGS TA...

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What type of coach do YOU have? What type of coach do YOU want to be? It's a simple question that most don't really take the time to understand . It all comes down to WHY. Anyone can make an athlete tired & work so hard that they puke. Puking does not make good training❌ . Good coaches understand the WHY behind every single exercise they prescribe. When there is a specific reason for everything you do it gives your training PURPOSE πŸ‹πŸ½ . THIS IS HOW GREAT ATHLETES ARE BUILT. This is how great athletes not only reach their potential but STAY THERE βœ… ________________________________ Squat University is the ultimate guide to realizing the strength to which the body is capable of. The information within these pages are provided to empower you to become a master of your physical body. Through these teachings you will find what is required in order to rid yourself of pain, decrease risk for injury, and improve your strength and athletic performance. __________________________________ Squat SquatUniversity Powerlifting weightlifting crossfit training wod workout gym fit fitfam fitness fitspo oly olympicweightlifting hookgrip mobility USAW physicaltherapy lifting crossfitter motivation quote quotes instaquote motivationalquotes motivationmonday: The difference between a bad coach & a good one is the bad one tells you WHAT to do. The good one tells you WHAT to do & WHY you're doing it! SQUAT UNIVERSITY What type of coach do YOU have? What type of coach do YOU want to be? It's a simple question that most don't really take the time to understand . It all comes down to WHY. Anyone can make an athlete tired & work so hard that they puke. Puking does not make good training❌ . Good coaches understand the WHY behind every single exercise they prescribe. When there is a specific reason for everything you do it gives your training PURPOSE πŸ‹πŸ½ . THIS IS HOW GREAT ATHLETES ARE BUILT. This is how great athletes not only reach their potential but STAY THERE βœ… ________________________________ Squat University is the ultimate guide to realizing the strength to which the body is capable of. The information within these pages are provided to empower you to become a master of your physical body. Through these teachings you will find what is required in order to rid yourself of pain, decrease risk for injury, and improve your strength and athletic performance. __________________________________ Squat SquatUniversity Powerlifting weightlifting crossfit training wod workout gym fit fitfam fitness fitspo oly olympicweightlifting hookgrip mobility USAW physicaltherapy lifting crossfitter motivation quote quotes instaquote motivationalquotes motivationmonday

What type of coach do YOU have? What type of coach do YOU want to be? It's a simple question that most don't really take the time to unde...

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Her: "Baby I spent the whole night puking. I don't know wtf is going on, I never puke. And now I'm craving ice cream with pickles πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ." Me: "ERROR MESSAGE A983: THE AT&T CUSTOMER YOU HAVE ATTEMPTED TO CONTACT HAS MOVED TO RURAL CAMBODIA TO MEDITATE AND GET RIGHT WITH GOD. THE AT&T CUSTOMER WILL SEE YOU AND THE LIL MAN ON DRAFT DAY. MAKE SURE LIL MAN FOCUSES ON DRIBBLING. ALSO, BUY HIM MATH WORKBOOKS. HE SHOULD BE REASONABLY GOOD AT MATH, BUT, RANDOMLY, NOT PARTICULARLY GREAT AT MICROSOFT EXCEL. MAYBE SIGN HIM UP FOR AN EXCEL CLASS. ON BEHALF OF AT&T, BEST OF LUCK." πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ“ŠπŸ“ˆπŸ“‰πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚: me: im not dramatic me with a small cold @Drs mashlove Her: "Baby I spent the whole night puking. I don't know wtf is going on, I never puke. And now I'm craving ice cream with pickles πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ." Me: "ERROR MESSAGE A983: THE AT&T CUSTOMER YOU HAVE ATTEMPTED TO CONTACT HAS MOVED TO RURAL CAMBODIA TO MEDITATE AND GET RIGHT WITH GOD. THE AT&T CUSTOMER WILL SEE YOU AND THE LIL MAN ON DRAFT DAY. MAKE SURE LIL MAN FOCUSES ON DRIBBLING. ALSO, BUY HIM MATH WORKBOOKS. HE SHOULD BE REASONABLY GOOD AT MATH, BUT, RANDOMLY, NOT PARTICULARLY GREAT AT MICROSOFT EXCEL. MAYBE SIGN HIM UP FOR AN EXCEL CLASS. ON BEHALF OF AT&T, BEST OF LUCK." πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ“ŠπŸ“ˆπŸ“‰πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Her: "Baby I spent the whole night puking. I don't know wtf is going on, I never puke. And now I'm craving ice cream with pickles πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ."...

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