🔥 Popular | Latest

Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally p...

Click, Fucking, and Funny: N THE text in MSPa Do r rotate omegapausestuck: koobaxion: alphaplayfree: alienpapacy: you ever see an image and think “i may see something as funny as this again, but never anything funnier” ALL RIGHT YOU LITTLE SHITS GET READY TO LEARN SOMETHING yOU WANNA ROTATE TEXT?! well mod 5ider has got the fucking t r i c k s homie Step one: Type something. P E R F E C T. sTEP TWO: FIND THE RESIZE OPTION. You see that little resize button on your menu? Yeah, that’s the one. you can just click that shit! On older versions of MS Paint there isn’t this option, but you can always find it with a quick right-click. THERE IT FUCKING IS!!!!!  STEP THREE: STRETCH AND SKEW When you click resize, this menu comes up. I’m sure you all have seen this menu before, but for those who don’t, I’ll clue you in. The top options control the length and respective width of your artwork. you can choose to alter them separately, or all together Using that little “Maintain Aspect Ration” checkbox there, but that’s not important right now. wHat we’re focusing on is that skew option on the botttom. with that you can t i l t whatever image yuo have on your screen to the left to the right up and down. “BUT 5IDER!!!!!” you say, “THAT DOESN’T LOOK ROTATED AT ALL” wELL HOLD ON TO YOUR LUG NUTS BECAUSE I T ’ S T I M E F O R STEP 4: ULTRA COMBOOOOOOOO!!!!! now, comes the fun part. unlike its aspect ratio locked cousin, the stretch and skew options work independently from one another. So, you can do things like  and But that’s neither here nor there… what gets REALLY interesting is when your ratios are in opposite directions.. HOME RUN! Now, before I let you go, I found out through trial and error that an angle doesn’t exactly match up with its negative dimension… (Step 5: Angular ratios) See? there’s a little offset between vertical and horizontal if your expect your text to appear natural instead of tilted. The only places that this offset reaches zero is at 90° (of course) and the rare and extremely dangerous 45° rotations. Fortunately, I’ve already mapped out a few angles that I find are very useful in my works so, for your viewing pleasure… i present my handy dandy graph All you have to do is match up your desired angle up to its respective complement and you have quickly and efficiently rotated your first word in MS Paint. Have fun! You know, you guys really seemed to enjoy this post. Should I do more MS Paint tutorials in the future?
Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Bad, Beard, and Blessed: nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign? He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them! Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "l didn't read it right did 1? And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction. flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start" Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "can I pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax lI'd never let anything hurt you. He's a good boy." I'll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah yes the two least intimidating living things l've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy anotherdayforchaosfay My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats. The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe. Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle Whenever he came over l'd put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don't like being shut away without one of us One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box. I let her out and decide, hey, I'm hungry and decide to the kitchen. I forgot to shut the bedroom door. Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent. My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up. I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy's leg purring, and doing her "let me on your lap meow. The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out. I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she's harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her. Very slowly he touches my cat's face, and she leans right into his hand. He then pets her back and sighs because she's really soft and purring like mad. After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it's okay if she sits on his lap He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat. The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats. He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them. A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent. ruffboijuliaburnsides Oh no a new one!!! jack-the-lion Blessed post. anaalihelmisimpukka I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went "I always wanted to learn how to ride but I'm afraid of horses because they're so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I'd dare but now I'm too big and heavy for them." You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they're not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I'm helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride Source:nOrma1-people-sxare-me 935,955 notes A classic collection of feel good stories (with new additions)
Ash, Girl Memes, and Another: *reaches for another snickers* (@ash_willerton @sagmeisterwalsh)

*reaches for another snickers* (@ash_willerton @sagmeisterwalsh)