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Just seen the most adorable thing in the world. Touching and beautiful bruh, made my heart melt. Walked into the gym just now and right next to me is a European waxing joint. Seen this woman walk out of one of the rooms, pay her fee to the sexy Polish women who dye they hair jet black and who rip vagina hair all day, scooped up her daughter who had a organic chocolate milk and iPad in the waiting room, and went to her car. BRUH. THIS IS WHAT I CALL HIGH QUALITY MOTHER-DAUGHTER BONDING AND SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE: "HOLD MY STARBUCKS BABY - MOMMY NEEDS TO GET NICE AND TIDY FOR DADDY ☺️" - GET IT MOMMY - I SEE U - I APPRECIATE U - I RESPECT U - U DA REAL MVP πŸŒΉπŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-thisandthatben): Wanted a dog my whole life. It took me 31 years but here he is meet Jasper Just seen the most adorable thing in the world. Touching and beautiful bruh, made my heart melt. Walked into the gym just now and right next to me is a European waxing joint. Seen this woman walk out of one of the rooms, pay her fee to the sexy Polish women who dye they hair jet black and who rip vagina hair all day, scooped up her daughter who had a organic chocolate milk and iPad in the waiting room, and went to her car. BRUH. THIS IS WHAT I CALL HIGH QUALITY MOTHER-DAUGHTER BONDING AND SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE: "HOLD MY STARBUCKS BABY - MOMMY NEEDS TO GET NICE AND TIDY FOR DADDY ☺️" - GET IT MOMMY - I SEE U - I APPRECIATE U - I RESPECT U - U DA REAL MVP πŸŒΉπŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-thisandthatben)
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Sweet Jesus. πŸ™ˆπŸŽ horse horses nosebleed veterinarian πŸ“’ Share the knowledge! Tag your friends in the comments. βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– Want more Did You Know(s)? βž‘πŸ““ Buy our book on Amazon: [LINK IN BIO] βž‘πŸ“± Download our App: http:-apple.co-2i9iX0u βž‘πŸ“© Get daily text message alerts: http:-Fact-Snacks.com βž‘πŸ“© Free email newsletter: http:-DidYouKnowFacts.com-Sign-Up- βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– We post different content across our channels. Follow us so you don't miss out! πŸ“http:-facebook.com-didyouknowblog πŸ“http:-twitter.com-didyouknowfacts βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– DYN FACTS TRIVIA TIL DIDYOUKNOW NOWIKNOW: did you know? This isn'tthe scene of a massacre it's just a vet's office where a horse had a nosebleed. Horses breathe heavily through their noses, and their bodies contain a lot of blood, so a human nosebleed that soaks a couple paper towels equates to a horse nosebleec that looks like a crime scene. PHOTO: REDDIT DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM Sweet Jesus. πŸ™ˆπŸŽ horse horses nosebleed veterinarian πŸ“’ Share the knowledge! Tag your friends in the comments. βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– Want more Did You Know(s)? βž‘πŸ““ Buy our book on Amazon: [LINK IN BIO] βž‘πŸ“± Download our App: http:-apple.co-2i9iX0u βž‘πŸ“© Get daily text message alerts: http:-Fact-Snacks.com βž‘πŸ“© Free email newsletter: http:-DidYouKnowFacts.com-Sign-Up- βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– We post different content across our channels. Follow us so you don't miss out! πŸ“http:-facebook.com-didyouknowblog πŸ“http:-twitter.com-didyouknowfacts βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– DYN FACTS TRIVIA TIL DIDYOUKNOW NOWIKNOW

Sweet Jesus. πŸ™ˆπŸŽ horse horses nosebleed veterinarian πŸ“’ Share the knowledge! Tag your friends in the comments. βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– Want more Did Yo...

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So yesterday I hit tennis balls with the big homie and it's like high 87 degrees hot af so we get four games in and take shirts off. We take a quick water break and he turn around for a sec and low key? Homeboy got the above-butt dimples. SOME MEN HAVE ABOVE-BUTT DIMPLES? I AIN'T EEN REMOTELY GAY, BUT STILL...INTERESTING! I WAS STARTLED πŸ˜‚. Like how u gon just slap one of the sexiest little features a woman can have...on a random ass dude? Like could u imagine if 0.0001% of men just randomly had titties? Not like obese dudes at the pool with titties I done seen that I mean like a regular dude with a set of clean, crisp, hairless, bounteous, glistening titties. Shit would be wild! Like u would bring a dude named Bill in for a interview and Sally the head of HR just gon be like "Bill Johnson is coming in at 1 pm, remind your team please BILL IS SPECIAL." And everyone know what that mean. And Bill walk in wearing brooks brothers suit pants and wing tip shoes and brooks brothers jacket but instead of a white dress shirt and tie he just wearing a Nike sports running bra because DUH that's what men do why u think we wear basketball shorts iss to put our shit on display πŸ€—. And Bill in the interview just like "yeah after we got acquired by a private equity firm the culture changed and I wish them well but I'm looking to bring my clients here. Hey let's address the elephant in the room, I have boobs lol. They're fucking nice, too. Wanna suck on em? 😎" Now a group of grown men sucking Bill's titties. They ain't even touching PPs it ain't een gay like that they just taking turns respectfully doing a lil suckysuck. Just a lil bit! U feel me? But nah. Men don't have real titties. But apparently a select few of them got above-butt dimples. Interesting!!! β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-luckytattoos): Mochi being a good pup for the vet So yesterday I hit tennis balls with the big homie and it's like high 87 degrees hot af so we get four games in and take shirts off. We take a quick water break and he turn around for a sec and low key? Homeboy got the above-butt dimples. SOME MEN HAVE ABOVE-BUTT DIMPLES? I AIN'T EEN REMOTELY GAY, BUT STILL...INTERESTING! I WAS STARTLED πŸ˜‚. Like how u gon just slap one of the sexiest little features a woman can have...on a random ass dude? Like could u imagine if 0.0001% of men just randomly had titties? Not like obese dudes at the pool with titties I done seen that I mean like a regular dude with a set of clean, crisp, hairless, bounteous, glistening titties. Shit would be wild! Like u would bring a dude named Bill in for a interview and Sally the head of HR just gon be like "Bill Johnson is coming in at 1 pm, remind your team please BILL IS SPECIAL." And everyone know what that mean. And Bill walk in wearing brooks brothers suit pants and wing tip shoes and brooks brothers jacket but instead of a white dress shirt and tie he just wearing a Nike sports running bra because DUH that's what men do why u think we wear basketball shorts iss to put our shit on display πŸ€—. And Bill in the interview just like "yeah after we got acquired by a private equity firm the culture changed and I wish them well but I'm looking to bring my clients here. Hey let's address the elephant in the room, I have boobs lol. They're fucking nice, too. Wanna suck on em? 😎" Now a group of grown men sucking Bill's titties. They ain't even touching PPs it ain't een gay like that they just taking turns respectfully doing a lil suckysuck. Just a lil bit! U feel me? But nah. Men don't have real titties. But apparently a select few of them got above-butt dimples. Interesting!!! β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-luckytattoos)
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So I grabbed coffee with my lil homegirl who I work with and she say she got a southwest companion pass. Litchrally with this shit u fly anywhere and take whoever u want anywhere any time. I'm like "πŸ€”...how. U mainly work for me and I don't fly u around the world like that for u to be racking up miles πŸ˜‚." Why did she launch into this whole shpiel about how she low key scamming TF out of southwest airline robbing them blind LEGALLY AF πŸ˜‚. "Well I opened up one southwest credit card and got 60,000 miles. Then I opened up another one with another bank and got 60,000 more. Also I do all my shopping thru the southwest rewards website so even if I buy shoes at Nordstrom I get points." I'm like "wow. For me though southwest been low key getting more expensive though(?)" And she just like "yeah I don't let them drop the price on me. If they do, I switch to the next day flight, then switch back. Like if I book at $400 and it drops to $300, I switch and switch back. Down to $250? Same. Until I'm satisfied I got the best price." DID YALL HEAR THAT SHIT. "UNTIL I'M SATISFIED." She the MF queen bruh, southwest exists to shuttle her pretty ass around. And she gon scam them until their back is broken and they bankrupt and they on the news just like "yeah we were having a nice run but this woman Kate ran us dry." GO THE FUCK HEAD, KATE, U PRETTA-ASS, SCAMMIN-ASS GENIUS 😍. IDK why ladies but if u a scammer, it do something to us. It tingle our nether regions. It make us feel like if the whole world go to shit like walking dead u gon scam our chirren into health and safety. The scamming gene is like Punani fragrance - it make us a lil crazy for u πŸ€—. To all my scammers out there, y'all the real MVP. Scam me. Rob me. End my life. Just make sure them kids is good and imma be smiling in my grave bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-ebbp): Office dog isn't allowed on the couch, so this is her daily act of rebellion So I grabbed coffee with my lil homegirl who I work with and she say she got a southwest companion pass. Litchrally with this shit u fly anywhere and take whoever u want anywhere any time. I'm like "πŸ€”...how. U mainly work for me and I don't fly u around the world like that for u to be racking up miles πŸ˜‚." Why did she launch into this whole shpiel about how she low key scamming TF out of southwest airline robbing them blind LEGALLY AF πŸ˜‚. "Well I opened up one southwest credit card and got 60,000 miles. Then I opened up another one with another bank and got 60,000 more. Also I do all my shopping thru the southwest rewards website so even if I buy shoes at Nordstrom I get points." I'm like "wow. For me though southwest been low key getting more expensive though(?)" And she just like "yeah I don't let them drop the price on me. If they do, I switch to the next day flight, then switch back. Like if I book at $400 and it drops to $300, I switch and switch back. Down to $250? Same. Until I'm satisfied I got the best price." DID YALL HEAR THAT SHIT. "UNTIL I'M SATISFIED." She the MF queen bruh, southwest exists to shuttle her pretty ass around. And she gon scam them until their back is broken and they bankrupt and they on the news just like "yeah we were having a nice run but this woman Kate ran us dry." GO THE FUCK HEAD, KATE, U PRETTA-ASS, SCAMMIN-ASS GENIUS 😍. IDK why ladies but if u a scammer, it do something to us. It tingle our nether regions. It make us feel like if the whole world go to shit like walking dead u gon scam our chirren into health and safety. The scamming gene is like Punani fragrance - it make us a lil crazy for u πŸ€—. To all my scammers out there, y'all the real MVP. Scam me. Rob me. End my life. Just make sure them kids is good and imma be smiling in my grave bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-ebbp)
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On this blessed day I ask God to ease your burden, whatever that burden might be. If you are struggling I ask God to make things easy for you. If you are depressed I ask God to light your way. If you are hungry I ask God to feed you and to move those around you to feed you - it is the responsibility of those living in comfort to give to those who are not. I hate asking for favors but do me one favor today. Identify a family member from whom time or distance or an argument of some type or hardship long ago has caused separation. Reach out to them and let them know you love them. Be the better person and cure severed familial bonds with love. Aight? You can do it. My lil homegirl, her mom is the most wretched human on earth πŸ˜‚. Every day she say something new to annoy her daughter. A week ago she said "your butt is flat" out of nowhere (and her butt ain't een flat lol!) And that girl still take care of her mama day in and day out. It's not easy but it's not really a test if it's easy, ya get me! More life more happiness more faith - whatever you wanted to accomplish in 2017, you got one-third of the year left - MAKE IT COUNT ❀️ Bless up πŸŒ™ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-lil-rap): Last year I went backpacking through the republic of Georgia in Eastern Europe. On a long hike into the mountains, this dog decided to join me. We hiked together for about seven miles before he wandered off. Here he is keeping guard as I set my camera up for a landscape shot. On this blessed day I ask God to ease your burden, whatever that burden might be. If you are struggling I ask God to make things easy for you. If you are depressed I ask God to light your way. If you are hungry I ask God to feed you and to move those around you to feed you - it is the responsibility of those living in comfort to give to those who are not. I hate asking for favors but do me one favor today. Identify a family member from whom time or distance or an argument of some type or hardship long ago has caused separation. Reach out to them and let them know you love them. Be the better person and cure severed familial bonds with love. Aight? You can do it. My lil homegirl, her mom is the most wretched human on earth πŸ˜‚. Every day she say something new to annoy her daughter. A week ago she said "your butt is flat" out of nowhere (and her butt ain't een flat lol!) And that girl still take care of her mama day in and day out. It's not easy but it's not really a test if it's easy, ya get me! More life more happiness more faith - whatever you wanted to accomplish in 2017, you got one-third of the year left - MAKE IT COUNT ❀️ Bless up πŸŒ™ (πŸ“·: Reddit u-lil-rap)

On this blessed day I ask God to ease your burden, whatever that burden might be. If you are struggling I ask God to make things easy for...

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See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't need this type of negativity in yo life bruh πŸ˜‚. (2) "OMG daddy I need you 😍." She a keeper. That's a good woman. (3) "K. How many other girls got this? Curious πŸ€”." <- wife. This is your wife, u found her bruh πŸ˜‚. U feel me? She protecc. Like the flood waters coming, she gon rip the refrigerator door off the fridge and use it as a raft. She gon paddle your babies to safety. U gon call her from a business trip to NY like "baby u ok I seen the news" and she gon be like "NO I'M NOT OK MF I GOT *YOUR* LOOKIN ASS KIDS TRYINA PADDLE TO SAFETY BC U AIN'T HERE AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACE I GET TIGHT BC I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET U GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN LEAVE ME IN A FLOOD WE'LL DISCUSS LATER BYE." This type of woman will punch u in the face when u wake up for no reason. U sipping a Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso happy go lucky af ready to take on the day and she walk right up to u with her hair fucked up and punch u exactly in the nose to where yo septum deviate. Yo septum was good AF now it's crooked like Austin Powers teeth lol. And u like "baby??" And she like "YOU CHEATED ON ME IN MY DREAM. WITH A BLOND BITCH. AS I SUSPECTED. MOTHER πŸ‘ FUCKER πŸ‘. BEEN TOLD U. U LIKE BLONDS SO MUCH? GO FIND A BLOND, THEY GROW ON TREES. DON'T WASTE MY MF TIME. GET THE FUCK TO WORK WE TALK LATER." (Crazy women always wanna give u the business and then warn u that another reaming is coming lol.) And u just like "baby I don't have a type, YOU my type" and she just like "YOUR πŸ‘ TYPE πŸ‘ IS πŸ‘ BLOND πŸ‘ YOU πŸ‘ DIRTY πŸ‘ DICK πŸ‘ NIGHTMARE πŸ‘ CHEATER πŸ‘ I πŸ‘ SAID πŸ‘ WE πŸ‘ TALK πŸ‘ LATER." There u have it. Getchu a girl who wild about u bro. If she lukewarm u wasting your time. Get a girl who will kill for u then fuck around KILL u - it's the stabby ones that always got the most firey Punani ya get me! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-lucidf0x): Needless to say, I didn't move for a while See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't need this type of negativity in yo life bruh πŸ˜‚. (2) "OMG daddy I need you 😍." She a keeper. That's a good woman. (3) "K. How many other girls got this? Curious πŸ€”." <- wife. This is your wife, u found her bruh πŸ˜‚. U feel me? She protecc. Like the flood waters coming, she gon rip the refrigerator door off the fridge and use it as a raft. She gon paddle your babies to safety. U gon call her from a business trip to NY like "baby u ok I seen the news" and she gon be like "NO I'M NOT OK MF I GOT *YOUR* LOOKIN ASS KIDS TRYINA PADDLE TO SAFETY BC U AIN'T HERE AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACE I GET TIGHT BC I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET U GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN LEAVE ME IN A FLOOD WE'LL DISCUSS LATER BYE." This type of woman will punch u in the face when u wake up for no reason. U sipping a Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso happy go lucky af ready to take on the day and she walk right up to u with her hair fucked up and punch u exactly in the nose to where yo septum deviate. Yo septum was good AF now it's crooked like Austin Powers teeth lol. And u like "baby??" And she like "YOU CHEATED ON ME IN MY DREAM. WITH A BLOND BITCH. AS I SUSPECTED. MOTHER πŸ‘ FUCKER πŸ‘. BEEN TOLD U. U LIKE BLONDS SO MUCH? GO FIND A BLOND, THEY GROW ON TREES. DON'T WASTE MY MF TIME. GET THE FUCK TO WORK WE TALK LATER." (Crazy women always wanna give u the business and then warn u that another reaming is coming lol.) And u just like "baby I don't have a type, YOU my type" and she just like "YOUR πŸ‘ TYPE πŸ‘ IS πŸ‘ BLOND πŸ‘ YOU πŸ‘ DIRTY πŸ‘ DICK πŸ‘ NIGHTMARE πŸ‘ CHEATER πŸ‘ I πŸ‘ SAID πŸ‘ WE πŸ‘ TALK πŸ‘ LATER." There u have it. Getchu a girl who wild about u bro. If she lukewarm u wasting your time. Get a girl who will kill for u then fuck around KILL u - it's the stabby ones that always got the most firey Punani ya get me! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-lucidf0x)

See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't...

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Any man who wear a sport coat to dinner on a Saturday night? OLYMPIC MEDAL THOT πŸ₯‡. I'm not talmbout yo mama's step boyfriend who wear a sport coat with Steve Jobs mom jeans and shiny dress shoes to the local steakhouse. U feel me? He utterly clueless from the jump. He just tryina look cute for yo mama and also he got a pot belly so the sport coat is just an additional protective layer. I'm talmbout dudes our age. Like I went to sushi Saturday night and two tables over I seent a young Indian dude out with a pretty lady and he was wearing a black sport coat with a dress shirt unbuttoned three buttons to show his robust one centimeter chest stubble - flexin line "I gotta buzz this shit and it STILL look like a carpet - ain't no other resident in all of Neonatal with this type of manlyness πŸ€—." U feel me? Medical grade thot. Type of dude to take Suzy the Night Nurse to sushi, take her home, smash her out, and then go dancing at a club with his Indian crew because Priya gon be out that night and he really tryina marry Priya but he smash Suzy to calm his nerves so he seem more laid back to Priya (this is the male thot calculus πŸ€—). Go head Dr. Arjun. I ain't mad at u. Your attending doc know u a thot. Yo mama who keep asking when she gon get little Arjun's know in her heart u a thot. Suzy? She was never under any impression whatsoever that u anything BUT a thot...Win-win (note tho that Suzy believes there's a one in a million chance she can convert Arjun to a non-thot - I affectionately refer to this as "Dumb and Dumber Logic" - yes issa one in a million chance but Suzy u ain't that one, sorry sweetie 😘). So there u have it. If yo man pick u up for a date on a Saturday night and he wearing a black sport coat that he purchased at Zara on sale for $64.99 - thot. Now get pregnant, Suzy - he only make $28k-year now as a resident but when he take a job in Kansas after residency making $770k-year as the new superstar Neonatal doctor at Christ Saint Mary Elizabeth Holy Cathedral Hospital (u know it's real when the hospital name is catholic AF) u gon be sitting pretty cashing them support checks bless up TheseGamesAreMadeForTwoPlayers πŸ‘ΆπŸ˜πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-arturg87): She's deaf and mostly blind but she loves fetching and catching toys Any man who wear a sport coat to dinner on a Saturday night? OLYMPIC MEDAL THOT πŸ₯‡. I'm not talmbout yo mama's step boyfriend who wear a sport coat with Steve Jobs mom jeans and shiny dress shoes to the local steakhouse. U feel me? He utterly clueless from the jump. He just tryina look cute for yo mama and also he got a pot belly so the sport coat is just an additional protective layer. I'm talmbout dudes our age. Like I went to sushi Saturday night and two tables over I seent a young Indian dude out with a pretty lady and he was wearing a black sport coat with a dress shirt unbuttoned three buttons to show his robust one centimeter chest stubble - flexin line "I gotta buzz this shit and it STILL look like a carpet - ain't no other resident in all of Neonatal with this type of manlyness πŸ€—." U feel me? Medical grade thot. Type of dude to take Suzy the Night Nurse to sushi, take her home, smash her out, and then go dancing at a club with his Indian crew because Priya gon be out that night and he really tryina marry Priya but he smash Suzy to calm his nerves so he seem more laid back to Priya (this is the male thot calculus πŸ€—). Go head Dr. Arjun. I ain't mad at u. Your attending doc know u a thot. Yo mama who keep asking when she gon get little Arjun's know in her heart u a thot. Suzy? She was never under any impression whatsoever that u anything BUT a thot...Win-win (note tho that Suzy believes there's a one in a million chance she can convert Arjun to a non-thot - I affectionately refer to this as "Dumb and Dumber Logic" - yes issa one in a million chance but Suzy u ain't that one, sorry sweetie 😘). So there u have it. If yo man pick u up for a date on a Saturday night and he wearing a black sport coat that he purchased at Zara on sale for $64.99 - thot. Now get pregnant, Suzy - he only make $28k-year now as a resident but when he take a job in Kansas after residency making $770k-year as the new superstar Neonatal doctor at Christ Saint Mary Elizabeth Holy Cathedral Hospital (u know it's real when the hospital name is catholic AF) u gon be sitting pretty cashing them support checks bless up TheseGamesAreMadeForTwoPlayers πŸ‘ΆπŸ˜πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-arturg87)
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Ladies lemme warn y'all. If yo man go to the gym. And he wear a tank top or cut off t shirt and shorts that ain't too matching just whatever because it's the gym so he see no need to be exkra - that's a good man. Keep him. On the other hand. If yo man wear: (1) black sporty athletic shorts, (2) black leg compression tights with graphics on them, (3) black sporty t shirt with matchy graphics on it to where it complement the tights, (4) black compression upper body tights that cover the elbow and show the musculature of his biceps thru the tights, (4) black Nike socks, and (5) black Nike cross trainers? With the Apple Watch, Garmin watch, or Fit Bit? HE A THOT. HE WAS BORN A THOT. HE COME FROM A LONG LINE OF THOTS STARTING WITH HIS GREAT GRANDFATHER THOTTIOUS WITHERSPOON IV WHO EMIGRATED HERE FROM JAMAICA. THIS MAN HAS THOT IN HIS BLOOD. GIVE HIM A PAPER CUT - HE BLEEDS "thot". AS A BABY BOY HE LITCHRALLY WALKED AROUND WITH A PERMANENT PUPPY FILTER ON HIS FACE. TURBO SUPER ROBOT-THOT. NOW SOME OF YALL LOVE THOTS - IN WHICH CASE GOD BLESS YALL, LOOK FOR THIS TYPE OF MAN AND HE WILL FULFILL ALL YOUR DESIRES. BUT IF U THE TYPE TO BE DRIVEN CRAZY BY MALE THOTS WHO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL? AND U CATCH YO MAN DRESSED LIKE THIS ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR TO THE "gym"? WELL...NOW U KNOW...ACT ACCORDINGLY...SMASH IS JUST HERE TO WARN YALL...I OFFER NO CRITIQUES, JUST FACTS - SOME OF MY BES FRENZ HAPPEN TO BE THOTS I'M JUST POINTING OUT THE TYPE, BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (Reddit u-Sayonarahonto): What cute ghosts Ladies lemme warn y'all. If yo man go to the gym. And he wear a tank top or cut off t shirt and shorts that ain't too matching just whatever because it's the gym so he see no need to be exkra - that's a good man. Keep him. On the other hand. If yo man wear: (1) black sporty athletic shorts, (2) black leg compression tights with graphics on them, (3) black sporty t shirt with matchy graphics on it to where it complement the tights, (4) black compression upper body tights that cover the elbow and show the musculature of his biceps thru the tights, (4) black Nike socks, and (5) black Nike cross trainers? With the Apple Watch, Garmin watch, or Fit Bit? HE A THOT. HE WAS BORN A THOT. HE COME FROM A LONG LINE OF THOTS STARTING WITH HIS GREAT GRANDFATHER THOTTIOUS WITHERSPOON IV WHO EMIGRATED HERE FROM JAMAICA. THIS MAN HAS THOT IN HIS BLOOD. GIVE HIM A PAPER CUT - HE BLEEDS "thot". AS A BABY BOY HE LITCHRALLY WALKED AROUND WITH A PERMANENT PUPPY FILTER ON HIS FACE. TURBO SUPER ROBOT-THOT. NOW SOME OF YALL LOVE THOTS - IN WHICH CASE GOD BLESS YALL, LOOK FOR THIS TYPE OF MAN AND HE WILL FULFILL ALL YOUR DESIRES. BUT IF U THE TYPE TO BE DRIVEN CRAZY BY MALE THOTS WHO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL? AND U CATCH YO MAN DRESSED LIKE THIS ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR TO THE "gym"? WELL...NOW U KNOW...ACT ACCORDINGLY...SMASH IS JUST HERE TO WARN YALL...I OFFER NO CRITIQUES, JUST FACTS - SOME OF MY BES FRENZ HAPPEN TO BE THOTS I'M JUST POINTING OUT THE TYPE, BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (Reddit u-Sayonarahonto)

Ladies lemme warn y'all. If yo man go to the gym. And he wear a tank top or cut off t shirt and shorts that ain't too matching just whate...

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What I'm tryina wake up to: πŸ‘†. What I actually wake up to: aggressively clutching a big ass pillow for safety sweaty AF because 'Stranger Things' giving me nightmares now NOBODY TOLD ME THIS SHOW WAS SCARY I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT A LIL GIRL WHO LOOK LIKE A BOY AND DO SUPER POWER SHIT WITH HER BRAIN BUT NAH ISS MONSTERS AND UNDERWORLDS AND PEOPLE GETTING KILLT - WHEN I WAS A BOY AND I WATCHED UNSOLVED MYSTERIES WITH THE OLD WHITE DUDE WITH THE FREDDY COUGAR FACE AND I SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF I'D GO PILE INTO THE BED MY SISTERS SLEPT IN BUT I'M A GROWN MAN NOW AND THEY DON'T LIVE CLOSE AND ALSO THEY GOT HUSBANDS AND SHIT - FUCK YALL EXPECT ME TO DO DAMMIT THE SLIMY NO FACE DUDE GOT ME SHOOK - FUCK U, NETFLIX - THIS SHIT IS NOT "CHILL" AT ALL πŸ˜«πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-pappy_smith): This is the face l wake up to every morning. What I'm tryina wake up to: πŸ‘†. What I actually wake up to: aggressively clutching a big ass pillow for safety sweaty AF because 'Stranger Things' giving me nightmares now NOBODY TOLD ME THIS SHOW WAS SCARY I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT A LIL GIRL WHO LOOK LIKE A BOY AND DO SUPER POWER SHIT WITH HER BRAIN BUT NAH ISS MONSTERS AND UNDERWORLDS AND PEOPLE GETTING KILLT - WHEN I WAS A BOY AND I WATCHED UNSOLVED MYSTERIES WITH THE OLD WHITE DUDE WITH THE FREDDY COUGAR FACE AND I SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF I'D GO PILE INTO THE BED MY SISTERS SLEPT IN BUT I'M A GROWN MAN NOW AND THEY DON'T LIVE CLOSE AND ALSO THEY GOT HUSBANDS AND SHIT - FUCK YALL EXPECT ME TO DO DAMMIT THE SLIMY NO FACE DUDE GOT ME SHOOK - FUCK U, NETFLIX - THIS SHIT IS NOT "CHILL" AT ALL πŸ˜«πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-pappy_smith)
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Life update: remember the caption I wrote about bending down and busting the ass seam out of my suit pants? Well I sewed them up myself (as I wrote back then) with light grey thread but the suit was dark grey. To me the shit look fine. Like the stitching was on point low key I was proud of myself lol. But lo and behold yesterday I get an email from my homie who is head of facilities at the firm: "smash, it has come to my attention that you may not be aware that there is a large tear in the seat of your pants." OK. So lemme be clear. Yes the stitching down my ass crack is contrasting. However it is not a large tear. In fact the tear has been repaired. THE LARGER ISSUE AT HAND IS WHY THE SECRETARIES HAD TO GANG UP AND APPROACH THE HEAD OF FACILITIES TO SEND THIS EMAIL. WHY YALL LOOKING AT SMASH'S BUTT CHEEKS IN THE FIRST PLACE, THIS THE REAL QUESTION. I CAME TO THIS FIRM READY TO PROVE MYSELF. I DONE PULLED THE MULTIPLE ALL NIGHTERS. I DONE WORKED IN SEVERAL OF OUR OFFICES GLOBALLY. DONE MISSED EVERY PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT IMAGINABLE TO GET DEALS DONE. AND AFTER ALL THIS, I'M JUST A SEXY PIECE OF HALAL ASS-MEAT FOR THE SECRETARIES TO GIGGLE AT. OK. SO THIS IS WHERE THINGS STAND. JUST EYE CANDY FOR YALL. WELL SAY NO MORE. TOMORROW IMMA WEAR HIJAB. AND A TRENCH COAT. "Have you seen smash today in a erykah badu head wrap? Did he lose his mind??" NAH BUT APPARENTLY YALL CAN'T STOP STARING SO I HAD TO CUT OFF THE SUPPLY. FIND ANOTHER PAIR OF BOUNTEOUS ASS CHEEKS TO OGLE THIS ONE IS OVER ISS CANCELED BLESS UP πŸ˜’πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-cantthinkofanamern): Puppy eyes Life update: remember the caption I wrote about bending down and busting the ass seam out of my suit pants? Well I sewed them up myself (as I wrote back then) with light grey thread but the suit was dark grey. To me the shit look fine. Like the stitching was on point low key I was proud of myself lol. But lo and behold yesterday I get an email from my homie who is head of facilities at the firm: "smash, it has come to my attention that you may not be aware that there is a large tear in the seat of your pants." OK. So lemme be clear. Yes the stitching down my ass crack is contrasting. However it is not a large tear. In fact the tear has been repaired. THE LARGER ISSUE AT HAND IS WHY THE SECRETARIES HAD TO GANG UP AND APPROACH THE HEAD OF FACILITIES TO SEND THIS EMAIL. WHY YALL LOOKING AT SMASH'S BUTT CHEEKS IN THE FIRST PLACE, THIS THE REAL QUESTION. I CAME TO THIS FIRM READY TO PROVE MYSELF. I DONE PULLED THE MULTIPLE ALL NIGHTERS. I DONE WORKED IN SEVERAL OF OUR OFFICES GLOBALLY. DONE MISSED EVERY PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT IMAGINABLE TO GET DEALS DONE. AND AFTER ALL THIS, I'M JUST A SEXY PIECE OF HALAL ASS-MEAT FOR THE SECRETARIES TO GIGGLE AT. OK. SO THIS IS WHERE THINGS STAND. JUST EYE CANDY FOR YALL. WELL SAY NO MORE. TOMORROW IMMA WEAR HIJAB. AND A TRENCH COAT. "Have you seen smash today in a erykah badu head wrap? Did he lose his mind??" NAH BUT APPARENTLY YALL CAN'T STOP STARING SO I HAD TO CUT OFF THE SUPPLY. FIND ANOTHER PAIR OF BOUNTEOUS ASS CHEEKS TO OGLE THIS ONE IS OVER ISS CANCELED BLESS UP πŸ˜’πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-cantthinkofanamern)
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Say Bruh shout to u assholes walking around the office today where every time u bump into someone u start conversation with: "so did you see the eclipse πŸ˜€." BRUH. THE ECLIPSE IS OVER. STOP TRYINA KEEP IT RELEVANT. HOW AWFUL OF A CONVERSATIONALIST ARE U THAT U NEED TO USE AS A CRUTCH AN ASTRONOMICAL EVENT THAT EVERYONE ALREADY DISCUSSED TO DEATH YESTERDAY. ISS OVER. JUST STFU AND SMILE AND KEEP WALKING πŸ˜‚. These are the same type of people who start conversation with "did you go outside today? Did it get warmer out there?" No I didn't go outside today I physically moved my belongings into my office I now shower and take all my meals here sorry I didn't come into work like everyone else including you, the IDIOT asker of the question bless up thank you TuesdayScrooge sorry LongDay πŸ€—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-TippyBumpis): His "worried about daddy" face three hours apart didn't change when I crawled into bed at 4 pm with the flu and woke at 7 pm. It's ok Kevin. I'm fine. Say Bruh shout to u assholes walking around the office today where every time u bump into someone u start conversation with: "so did you see the eclipse πŸ˜€." BRUH. THE ECLIPSE IS OVER. STOP TRYINA KEEP IT RELEVANT. HOW AWFUL OF A CONVERSATIONALIST ARE U THAT U NEED TO USE AS A CRUTCH AN ASTRONOMICAL EVENT THAT EVERYONE ALREADY DISCUSSED TO DEATH YESTERDAY. ISS OVER. JUST STFU AND SMILE AND KEEP WALKING πŸ˜‚. These are the same type of people who start conversation with "did you go outside today? Did it get warmer out there?" No I didn't go outside today I physically moved my belongings into my office I now shower and take all my meals here sorry I didn't come into work like everyone else including you, the IDIOT asker of the question bless up thank you TuesdayScrooge sorry LongDay πŸ€—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-TippyBumpis)
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So my lil homegirl text me saying "smash this dude keeps trying to get with me so I had to tell him I don't want to sleep with him and he went off." I said "baby why don't you slow-fade these guys don't be so direct lol". Um, nah. HELL nah. She proceeds to send me screenshots of dozens of thirsty texts this dude sent AFTER she had basically ceased communication. By then she got no choice but to ice u, and then SHE gotta be the 'bitch' smh. Now I could see how men might get they lil ego crushed when a girl say "dude I don't wanna bone u." But u wanna know the bigger issue? By the time she had to be blunt with u, she done sent 17 carefully worded ass texts tryina curve u but u so damn optimistic u turnt into Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber: "What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me…ending up together?" Mary: "Not good." Lloyd: "You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?" Mary: "I’d say more like one out of a million." Lloyd: "So you’re telling me there’s a chance!" That's u bruh. Her: "ok I could probably maybe meet up for one drink but I gotta get home and wash my hair I have meetings tomorrow!" <- curve. Her: "haha that sounds fun but it's a hectic week for me 😐" <- curve. "Lol nice" <- literally never text me again please πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. Men y'all gotta understand if she like u, she gon let u know. U be like "aye baby u free Wednesday?" It don't matter if she free or not - if she fuck wit u, she gon do the mostest. "I'm actually in Milwaukee that afternoon for meetings but building in 90 minutes for the drive if I speed, I could come by at like 11 and tuck you in? I'll be in work clothes but I can sleep in one of your t shirts πŸ™ƒ" <- Mikey, she likes you πŸ˜ŒπŸ˜‚. If I can leave u with one thing: LISTEN when she try to talk to u. HEAR what she saying not what u WANT to hear and she won't have to drop a bomb on u. Ya get me!! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-mascary): My sister got a new pup and they like to take her sailing So my lil homegirl text me saying "smash this dude keeps trying to get with me so I had to tell him I don't want to sleep with him and he went off." I said "baby why don't you slow-fade these guys don't be so direct lol". Um, nah. HELL nah. She proceeds to send me screenshots of dozens of thirsty texts this dude sent AFTER she had basically ceased communication. By then she got no choice but to ice u, and then SHE gotta be the 'bitch' smh. Now I could see how men might get they lil ego crushed when a girl say "dude I don't wanna bone u." But u wanna know the bigger issue? By the time she had to be blunt with u, she done sent 17 carefully worded ass texts tryina curve u but u so damn optimistic u turnt into Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber: "What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me…ending up together?" Mary: "Not good." Lloyd: "You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?" Mary: "I’d say more like one out of a million." Lloyd: "So you’re telling me there’s a chance!" That's u bruh. Her: "ok I could probably maybe meet up for one drink but I gotta get home and wash my hair I have meetings tomorrow!" <- curve. Her: "haha that sounds fun but it's a hectic week for me 😐" <- curve. "Lol nice" <- literally never text me again please πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. Men y'all gotta understand if she like u, she gon let u know. U be like "aye baby u free Wednesday?" It don't matter if she free or not - if she fuck wit u, she gon do the mostest. "I'm actually in Milwaukee that afternoon for meetings but building in 90 minutes for the drive if I speed, I could come by at like 11 and tuck you in? I'll be in work clothes but I can sleep in one of your t shirts πŸ™ƒ" <- Mikey, she likes you πŸ˜ŒπŸ˜‚. If I can leave u with one thing: LISTEN when she try to talk to u. HEAR what she saying not what u WANT to hear and she won't have to drop a bomb on u. Ya get me!! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-mascary)
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When your homegirl text u that she's hanging at home with her new boyfriend and u low key sad because men ain't shit and want all the pretty women in they life to be single at all times but then she send u a pic and issa tiny lil hairy mutt happy as a clam to be in his comfy new crib and the caption say "met him at the shelter πŸ€—" and then u get a tear in your eye because u know this pup's life just went from living in a cage to eating organic dog food and watching a naked woman emerge from the shower daily with wet hair and bounteous, glistening bare boobies and it's such a magnificently triumphant glo-up that u can't help but get choked up BasedOnATrueStory BeAHero AdoptDontShop β€οΈπŸ˜πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-kinicotan. Pic text: Reddit u-dickfromaccounting. Caption text: @drsmashlove): Boop snoot big buddy Have boop lil buddy When your homegirl text u that she's hanging at home with her new boyfriend and u low key sad because men ain't shit and want all the pretty women in they life to be single at all times but then she send u a pic and issa tiny lil hairy mutt happy as a clam to be in his comfy new crib and the caption say "met him at the shelter πŸ€—" and then u get a tear in your eye because u know this pup's life just went from living in a cage to eating organic dog food and watching a naked woman emerge from the shower daily with wet hair and bounteous, glistening bare boobies and it's such a magnificently triumphant glo-up that u can't help but get choked up BasedOnATrueStory BeAHero AdoptDontShop β€οΈπŸ˜πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-kinicotan. Pic text: Reddit u-dickfromaccounting. Caption text: @drsmashlove)
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Oh wow that's scary Credit tagged ________________________________ . . . . HASHTAGS BELOW IGNORE . . . . . . _________________________________ scary creepy gore horrormovie blood horrorfan love horrorjunkie ahs twd horror supernatural horroraddict makeup murder spooky terror creepypasta evil metal bloody follow paranormal ghost haunted me serialkiller like4like deepweb: I:@HORRORSGRAM This creepypasta trom reddit is by tar the shortest story on this list, and the structure is the simplest. A man describes how his nights have boiled down to a paranoid routine. He makes absolutely sure that he closes all the exits and activates the security system. He also thoroughly checks his closet with a flashlight to see if there's anything inside.0f course, there's nothing in there but clothes. There's never anything out of the ordinary in there, with no reason there should be. Yet at night, the door to the closet opens, the floorboards creak, and the man feels the breath of something on his neck. Oh wow that's scary Credit tagged ________________________________ . . . . HASHTAGS BELOW IGNORE . . . . . . _________________________________ scary creepy gore horrormovie blood horrorfan love horrorjunkie ahs twd horror supernatural horroraddict makeup murder spooky terror creepypasta evil metal bloody follow paranormal ghost haunted me serialkiller like4like deepweb

Oh wow that's scary Credit tagged ________________________________ . . . . HASHTAGS BELOW IGNORE . . . . . . ____________________________...

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I have the classic story of being the fat kid all throughout school; by high school graduation, I was 240 pounds. By the end of college, I was 250. At 5'5...that's a LOT of extra weight to be carrying, and it showed. When I got accepted to grad school across the country, I decided to make a change - be whoever I wanted to be. I'd already BEEN the fat girl...why not try being the less-fat girl? I found out about keto on reddit one night and started the next day. It's been EXACTLY what I needed!It hasn't always been an easy or linear journey, but I'm almost 100 pounds down in 2.5 years and feeling so much better! Plus, I still get to eat my one true love: cheese πŸ’› @ellipticalifragilistic .: 2013 2016 I have the classic story of being the fat kid all throughout school; by high school graduation, I was 240 pounds. By the end of college, I was 250. At 5'5...that's a LOT of extra weight to be carrying, and it showed. When I got accepted to grad school across the country, I decided to make a change - be whoever I wanted to be. I'd already BEEN the fat girl...why not try being the less-fat girl? I found out about keto on reddit one night and started the next day. It's been EXACTLY what I needed!It hasn't always been an easy or linear journey, but I'm almost 100 pounds down in 2.5 years and feeling so much better! Plus, I still get to eat my one true love: cheese πŸ’› @ellipticalifragilistic .

I have the classic story of being the fat kid all throughout school; by high school graduation, I was 240 pounds. By the end of college,...

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