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Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
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Dad, Fucking, and Graffiti: princessnijireiki: bogleech: bogleech: A rare giant hellbender salamander found dead because some hiker’s rock-stacking collapsed on her.I didn’t even know rock stacking was a thing until this year but there are many ways it disrupts the environment. *Ever since it caught on as a form of white hipster “meditation” there are actually so many hikers who stack rocks now as a hobby that it collectively pollutes streams with sediment that the rocks would otherwise be filtering and reduces the populations of countless organisms that grow and nest among said rocks. http://www.wideopenspaces.com/rock-stacking-natural-graffitti-ecological-impact/ https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/stacking-rocks-wilderness-no-good-180955880/ http://www.takepart.com/article/2016/08/25/new-graffiti-national-parks-fight-stone-stackers/ It’s also weird (and by weird, I mean utterly predictable) how when I first saw this hipster rock stacking thing taking off, it was in specific emulation of inuksuit other Native cairn practices as the new wave appropriated meditation flavor of the moment. It was a blip on my radar because I’m not tapped into like… white upper middle class hipster earthy-crunchiness— my dad does earthy-crunchy for a living I lived in the deep woods for three years, so fucking with rocks streams for no reason genuinely feels like the biggest waste of time I can imagine while hiking— and tbh I think I only heard about it bc of the blatant appropriation thing. But it truly is amazing… how with nothing, with nothing, some people still find a way to destroy everything around them. Because they “love nature” insofar as it can be used consumed by them for entertainment, or a brief vacation (in the same way as they “love” the people they steal culture from); but not enough to respect that they are visitors in a living ecosystem that does not exist for their consumption or as their playthings. And so they don’t believe their actions have negative impacts, because that requires enough self awareness to view the world around them as not needing their input, and to view themselves as an invasive or destructive force by way of that uninvited meddling turned hobby.
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