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        Crying, Fake, and Girls: 0
 MY GIRL'S TALL,
 SOOOO SHE NEEDS
 LONG PADS, RIGHH
 U by Kotex @ubykotex Aug 17
 he weirdest thing you've he
 #stuffguyssay pic.twitter.com/QOuMm9OS7Q
 Retweet * Favorite
 Konen
 Reply
 Flag media

 Aleysha Fratella.. an earplugor a wee-wee plug?"лу
 @ubykotex "is that an earplug or a wee-wee plug?"-my father
 U by Kotex @ubykotex-8h
 @aleywey Well that's a new one.. #stuffguyssay
 RETSMEET
 FAVORITE
 7:03 AM-3 Sep 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 Reply Retweet Favorite
 More

 fUCK @ButMomltsAUSTIN-Sep 1
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 #stuffguyssay" that's ok I like alittle ketchup on my hot dog
 View conversation
 Hyo @TheKimHyo-Sep 1
 stuffguyssay" "how's your red sea
 E R
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 red sea nowing?" #sodong periods?
 Expand
 5
 FavoriteM

 L(0/5)L @belovedziall Aug 29
 @ubykotex #stuffguyssay "So do you like reuse tampons?"
 9:51 AM -29 Aug 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 わ
 Reply t7 Retweet ★ Favorite
 More

 whitney @whtnerrr Aug 27
 @ubykotex "You need more than one tampon per period?1 I thought you just
 popped one in and waited until it's over!" #stuffguyssay
 View conversation
 Reply Re
 Favorite
chamtea:

ursamajor:

piccolowasablackman:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

darrencrisscrosschrist:

jessicakrh:

dollarfries:

sex education at its finest

HHHHAHAHAAH WHAT

“so do tampons make girls feel like they’re having sex all the time?”

“It’s every month?”
“I thought it just lasted a couple years”
“It can go for 5 days in a row?!?!“ 
“Why don’t guys uteruses shed?”
*upon seeing a pad* “Why did someone flatten this tampon?”

“Why are tampons so little and pads are like mini diapers!”
“You mean you can’t buy one pack and be good for six months?”
“Why are they 7.69 for 10!!”
“Can’t you like fake being pregnant and stop it?”

crying laughing omigod

CAN’T YOU JUST FAKE BEING PREGNANG AND STOP IT

        

            
            

                
                
                    Crying, Fake, and Girls: 0
 MY GIRL'S TALL,
 SOOOO SHE NEEDS
 LONG PADS, RIGHH
 U by Kotex @ubykotex Aug 17
 he weirdest thing you've he
 #stuffguyssay pic.twitter.com/QOuMm9OS7Q
 Retweet * Favorite
 Konen
 Reply
 Flag media

 Aleysha Fratella.. an earplugor a wee-wee plug?"лу
 @ubykotex "is that an earplug or a wee-wee plug?"-my father
 U by Kotex @ubykotex-8h
 @aleywey Well that's a new one.. #stuffguyssay
 RETSMEET
 FAVORITE
 7:03 AM-3 Sep 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 Reply Retweet Favorite
 More

 fUCK @ButMomltsAUSTIN-Sep 1
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 #stuffguyssay" that's ok I like alittle ketchup on my hot dog
 View conversation
 Hyo @TheKimHyo-Sep 1
 stuffguyssay" "how's your red sea
 E R
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 red sea nowing?" #sodong periods?
 Expand
 5
 FavoriteM

 L(0/5)L @belovedziall Aug 29
 @ubykotex #stuffguyssay "So do you like reuse tampons?"
 9:51 AM -29 Aug 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 わ
 Reply t7 Retweet ★ Favorite
 More

 whitney @whtnerrr Aug 27
 @ubykotex "You need more than one tampon per period?1 I thought you just
 popped one in and waited until it's over!" #stuffguyssay
 View conversation
 Reply Re
 Favorite
chamtea:

ursamajor:

piccolowasablackman:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

darrencrisscrosschrist:

jessicakrh:

dollarfries:

sex education at its finest

HHHHAHAHAAH WHAT

“so do tampons make girls feel like they’re having sex all the time?”

“It’s every month?”
“I thought it just lasted a couple years”
“It can go for 5 days in a row?!?!“ 
“Why don’t guys uteruses shed?”
*upon seeing a pad* “Why did someone flatten this tampon?”

“Why are tampons so little and pads are like mini diapers!”
“You mean you can’t buy one pack and be good for six months?”
“Why are they 7.69 for 10!!”
“Can’t you like fake being pregnant and stop it?”

crying laughing omigod

CAN’T YOU JUST FAKE BEING PREGNANG AND STOP IT

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Crying, Fake, and Girls: 0
 MY GIRL'S TALL,
 SOOOO SHE NEEDS
 LONG PADS, RIGHH
 U by Kotex @ubykotex Aug 17
 he weirdest thing you've he
 #stuffguyssay pic.twitter.com/QOuMm9OS7Q
 Retweet * Favorite
 Konen
 Reply
 Flag media

 Aleysha Fratella.. an earplugor a wee-wee plug?"лу
 @ubykotex "is that an earplug or a wee-wee plug?"-my father
 U by Kotex @ubykotex-8h
 @aleywey Well that's a new one.. #stuffguyssay
 RETSMEET
 FAVORITE
 7:03 AM-3 Sep 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 Reply Retweet Favorite
 More

 fUCK @ButMomltsAUSTIN-Sep 1
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 #stuffguyssay" that's ok I like alittle ketchup on my hot dog
 View conversation
 Hyo @TheKimHyo-Sep 1
 stuffguyssay" "how's your red sea
 E R
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 red sea nowing?" #sodong periods?
 Expand
 5
 FavoriteM

 L(0/5)L @belovedziall Aug 29
 @ubykotex #stuffguyssay "So do you like reuse tampons?"
 9:51 AM -29 Aug 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 わ
 Reply t7 Retweet ★ Favorite
 More

 whitney @whtnerrr Aug 27
 @ubykotex "You need more than one tampon per period?1 I thought you just
 popped one in and waited until it's over!" #stuffguyssay
 View conversation
 Reply Re
 Favorite
chamtea:
ursamajor:

piccolowasablackman:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

darrencrisscrosschrist:

jessicakrh:

dollarfries:

sex education at its finest

HHHHAHAHAAH WHAT

“so do tampons make girls feel like they’re having sex all the time?”

“It’s every month?”
“I thought it just lasted a couple years”
“It can go for 5 days in a row?!?!“ 
“Why don’t guys uteruses shed?”
*upon seeing a pad* “Why did someone flatten this tampon?”

“Why are tampons so little and pads are like mini diapers!”
“You mean you can’t buy one pack and be good for six months?”
“Why are they 7.69 for 10!!”
“Can’t you like fake being pregnant and stop it?”

crying laughing omigod

CAN’T YOU JUST FAKE BEING PREGNANG AND STOP IT

        

            
            

                
                
                    Crying, Fake, and Girls: 0
 MY GIRL'S TALL,
 SOOOO SHE NEEDS
 LONG PADS, RIGHH
 U by Kotex @ubykotex Aug 17
 he weirdest thing you've he
 #stuffguyssay pic.twitter.com/QOuMm9OS7Q
 Retweet * Favorite
 Konen
 Reply
 Flag media

 Aleysha Fratella.. an earplugor a wee-wee plug?"лу
 @ubykotex "is that an earplug or a wee-wee plug?"-my father
 U by Kotex @ubykotex-8h
 @aleywey Well that's a new one.. #stuffguyssay
 RETSMEET
 FAVORITE
 7:03 AM-3 Sep 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 Reply Retweet Favorite
 More

 fUCK @ButMomltsAUSTIN-Sep 1
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 #stuffguyssay" that's ok I like alittle ketchup on my hot dog
 View conversation
 Hyo @TheKimHyo-Sep 1
 stuffguyssay" "how's your red sea
 E R
 "@ubykotex: What's the weirdest thing you've heard a guy say about periods?
 red sea nowing?" #sodong periods?
 Expand
 5
 FavoriteM

 L(0/5)L @belovedziall Aug 29
 @ubykotex #stuffguyssay "So do you like reuse tampons?"
 9:51 AM -29 Aug 2014 Details
 Hide conversation
 わ
 Reply t7 Retweet ★ Favorite
 More

 whitney @whtnerrr Aug 27
 @ubykotex "You need more than one tampon per period?1 I thought you just
 popped one in and waited until it's over!" #stuffguyssay
 View conversation
 Reply Re
 Favorite
chamtea:
ursamajor:

piccolowasablackman:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

darrencrisscrosschrist:

jessicakrh:

dollarfries:

sex education at its finest

HHHHAHAHAAH WHAT

“so do tampons make girls feel like they’re having sex all the time?”

“It’s every month?”
“I thought it just lasted a couple years”
“It can go for 5 days in a row?!?!“ 
“Why don’t guys uteruses shed?”
*upon seeing a pad* “Why did someone flatten this tampon?”

“Why are tampons so little and pads are like mini diapers!”
“You mean you can’t buy one pack and be good for six months?”
“Why are they 7.69 for 10!!”
“Can’t you like fake being pregnant and stop it?”

crying laughing omigod

CAN’T YOU JUST FAKE BEING PREGNANG AND STOP IT

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Apparently, Children, and Christmas: awkward.
 @howtobeprada
 imagine if you called the wrong number and
 "mom?"
 "no this is Morgan freeman"
 Reply
 Retweet Favorite
kkhendin:
voroxpete:

arctic-hands:

therobotmonster:

kuroba101:

prismatic-bell:

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

This is my new favourite story.

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no.

Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red 
one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the 
number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, 
and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on 
the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in 
December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a 
small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His 
children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was 
annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, 
Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized 
that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, 
ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your 
mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper 
yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad 
looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had 
children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the 
phones to act like Santa Claus.”
               
   “It got to be a big joke at the command center. You 
know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering 
Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.

“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and
 Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam 
says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was
 a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” 
Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re
 sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ 
Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called 
the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat 
Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks 
like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour 
and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.

For real.

“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people 
saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor.
 And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a 
briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she
 says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s 
known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”

So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport


It got better.

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Children, and Christmas: awkward.
 @howtobeprada
 imagine if you called the wrong number and
 "mom?"
 "no this is Morgan freeman"
 Reply
 Retweet Favorite
kkhendin:
voroxpete:

arctic-hands:

therobotmonster:

kuroba101:

prismatic-bell:

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

This is my new favourite story.

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no.

Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red 
one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the 
number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, 
and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on 
the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in 
December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a 
small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His 
children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was 
annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, 
Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized 
that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, 
ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your 
mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper 
yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad 
looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had 
children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the 
phones to act like Santa Claus.”
               
   “It got to be a big joke at the command center. You 
know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering 
Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.

“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and
 Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam 
says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was
 a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” 
Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re
 sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ 
Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called 
the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat 
Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks 
like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour 
and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.

For real.

“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people 
saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor.
 And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a 
briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she
 says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s 
known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”

So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport


It got better.

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Apparently, Click, and College: awkward.
 @howtobeprada
 imagine if you called the wrong number and
 "mom?"
 "no this is Morgan freeman"
 Reply
 Retweet Favorite
fun-n-fashion:

arctic-hands:

therobotmonster:

kuroba101:

prismatic-bell:

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

This is my new favourite story.

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

This is how the whole Santa Tracker thing got started with NATO. 
Also reminds me of a story. 
A dude I once knew has a fancy job in computer security that has him travelling all over the world and one of my favorite stories is how this company (I was not allowed to know the name due to confidentiality clauses but I was assured it was one with strong ties to national security) had a problem where every day their servers would go down at the same time for 15 mins straight and no one could figure out why because everything checked out and it was literally supposed to be impossible for the servers to go down and so they hired him to come have a look at their servers and figure out if they were being hacked or what because according to security logs no one had been in there that shouldn’t be.
The security around the server room was ridiculous. Like, he couldn’t even go in the room without the head of security and one of the vice presidents of the company in there with him. 
He had to pretty much force them to let him put a small camera, encrypted data  streaming to his laptop,  in the server room overnight and then he wasn’t allowed to leave with his laptop. So he goes in and reviews the footage the next day and at the exact time stamp he has for the footage going down he sees…. The cleaning person unplugging the servers so that they can plug in their vacuum. Fifteen minutes later the vacuuming is done and the servers are up and running again. 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Click, and College: awkward.
 @howtobeprada
 imagine if you called the wrong number and
 "mom?"
 "no this is Morgan freeman"
 Reply
 Retweet Favorite
fun-n-fashion:

arctic-hands:

therobotmonster:

kuroba101:

prismatic-bell:

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

This is my new favourite story.

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

This is how the whole Santa Tracker thing got started with NATO. 
Also reminds me of a story. 
A dude I once knew has a fancy job in computer security that has him travelling all over the world and one of my favorite stories is how this company (I was not allowed to know the name due to confidentiality clauses but I was assured it was one with strong ties to national security) had a problem where every day their servers would go down at the same time for 15 mins straight and no one could figure out why because everything checked out and it was literally supposed to be impossible for the servers to go down and so they hired him to come have a look at their servers and figure out if they were being hacked or what because according to security logs no one had been in there that shouldn’t be.
The security around the server room was ridiculous. Like, he couldn’t even go in the room without the head of security and one of the vice presidents of the company in there with him. 
He had to pretty much force them to let him put a small camera, encrypted data  streaming to his laptop,  in the server room overnight and then he wasn’t allowed to leave with his laptop. So he goes in and reviews the footage the next day and at the exact time stamp he has for the footage going down he sees…. The cleaning person unplugging the servers so that they can plug in their vacuum. Fifteen minutes later the vacuuming is done and the servers are up and running again. 

                    
                
            

            
                
                
fun-n-fashion:

arctic-hands:

therobotmonster:

kuroba101:

prismatic-bell:

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        80s, Children, and Clothes: Donald J. Trump O
 Follow
 @realDonaldTrump
 Just tried watching Modern Family - written
 by a moron, really boring. Writer has the
 mind of a very dumb and backward child.
 Sorry Danny!
 Reply 13 Retweet
 Favorite . More
 140
 98
 20
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump Doesn't like the show I work on but then we've
 15h
 never tested well with the racist, hypocritical, multiple bankruptcy
 demo.
 Collapse + Reply ta Retweet * Favorite *** More
 452
 215
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES
 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 "@Leigh26Heather: @realDonaldTrump WHO ON EARTH IS
 DANNY ZUKER????!!!!" A lightweight moron who only gets
 attention by attacking Trump.
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite •** More
 15h
 32
 RETWEETS
 26
 FAVORITES

 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 .@DannyZuker Danny--You're a total loser!
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite *** More
 22h
 99
 RETWEETS
 129
 FAVORITES
 12:26 PM - 12 Jun 13 · Details
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump Your insults need work. Here's one l've been
 working on: "Every picture you post of yourself is a dick pic." See?
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite *** More
 22h
 164
 400
 FAVORITES
 RETWEETS
 12:28 PM - 12 Jun 13 · Details
 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 I can't resist hitting lightweight @DannyZuker verbally when he
 starts up because he is just.so pathetic and easy (stupid)!
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 21h
 37
 24
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES

 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump Since you're unable to manufacture decent
 comebacks maybe you could outsource the job to China. #LOL
 #Trumpelstiltskin
 21h
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite •** More
 197
 468
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES
 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 Lightweight @DannyZuker is too stupid to see that China (and
 others) is destroying the U.S. economically and our leaders are
 helpless! SAD.
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 16h
 67
 39
 FAVORITES
 RETWEETS
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump I'm def too stupid to see how manufacturing
 your shitty clothes in China while you bloviate about them isn't
 hypocritical.
 16h
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 146
 328
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES

 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 I've been warning about China since as early as the 80's. No one
 wanted to listen. Now our country is in real trouble.
 #TimetoGetTough
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 12 Jun
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 123
 389
 FAVORITES
 RETWEETS
 8:47 AM - 12 Jun 13 Details
 12 Jun
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump You've always been tough on China, sir.
 Particularly the children who make your shitty clothes.
 pic.twitter.com/6dp2omL1hZ
 O Hide photo + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite * More
 TRON
 32733
 CHINA
 DONALD J. TRUMP
 SIGNATURE COLLECTIONE
cassyphace:

thingstolovefor:



This guy is running for president? #Hate it!

his comebacks read like a middle school boy on a message board for the first time?

        

            
            

                
                
                    80s, Children, and Clothes: Donald J. Trump O
 Follow
 @realDonaldTrump
 Just tried watching Modern Family - written
 by a moron, really boring. Writer has the
 mind of a very dumb and backward child.
 Sorry Danny!
 Reply 13 Retweet
 Favorite . More
 140
 98
 20
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump Doesn't like the show I work on but then we've
 15h
 never tested well with the racist, hypocritical, multiple bankruptcy
 demo.
 Collapse + Reply ta Retweet * Favorite *** More
 452
 215
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES
 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 "@Leigh26Heather: @realDonaldTrump WHO ON EARTH IS
 DANNY ZUKER????!!!!" A lightweight moron who only gets
 attention by attacking Trump.
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite •** More
 15h
 32
 RETWEETS
 26
 FAVORITES

 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 .@DannyZuker Danny--You're a total loser!
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite *** More
 22h
 99
 RETWEETS
 129
 FAVORITES
 12:26 PM - 12 Jun 13 · Details
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump Your insults need work. Here's one l've been
 working on: "Every picture you post of yourself is a dick pic." See?
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite *** More
 22h
 164
 400
 FAVORITES
 RETWEETS
 12:28 PM - 12 Jun 13 · Details
 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 I can't resist hitting lightweight @DannyZuker verbally when he
 starts up because he is just.so pathetic and easy (stupid)!
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 21h
 37
 24
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES

 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump Since you're unable to manufacture decent
 comebacks maybe you could outsource the job to China. #LOL
 #Trumpelstiltskin
 21h
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite •** More
 197
 468
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES
 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 Lightweight @DannyZuker is too stupid to see that China (and
 others) is destroying the U.S. economically and our leaders are
 helpless! SAD.
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 Collapse + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 16h
 67
 39
 FAVORITES
 RETWEETS
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump I'm def too stupid to see how manufacturing
 your shitty clothes in China while you bloviate about them isn't
 hypocritical.
 16h
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 146
 328
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES

 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
 I've been warning about China since as early as the 80's. No one
 wanted to listen. Now our country is in real trouble.
 #TimetoGetTough
 E Retweeted by Danny Zuker
 12 Jun
 Collapse + Reply 23 Retweet * Favorite ** More
 123
 389
 FAVORITES
 RETWEETS
 8:47 AM - 12 Jun 13 Details
 12 Jun
 Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
 .@realDonaldTrump You've always been tough on China, sir.
 Particularly the children who make your shitty clothes.
 pic.twitter.com/6dp2omL1hZ
 O Hide photo + Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite * More
 TRON
 32733
 CHINA
 DONALD J. TRUMP
 SIGNATURE COLLECTIONE
cassyphace:

thingstolovefor:



This guy is running for president? #Hate it!

his comebacks read like a middle school boy on a message board for the first time?

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save