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Approach
Approach
Against
Against
Their Lives
Their Lives
The
The
But
But
That
That
Expression
Expression
And
And
Movement
Movement
horrified
horrified 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


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        Russias Greatest Love Machine: probablyhistoricalrpgideas
 bumblesee
 hamtastrophe
 it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was
 real. like there's no non-fucked up part of
 rasputin's existence
 rollinbylimpbizkit
 did he do something problematic i thought he
 was just russia's greatest love machine
 the-itchy-bitchy-spider
 basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk
 who has almost never shaved or washed and
 smells like goats shows up at the russian
 capital with a creepy look on his beardy face
 and everyone just assumes he's a prophet
 or a saint because he's got a cult following
 that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans
 are sexually obsessed with him and he gets
 just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever
 he goes cause apparently he can cure his
 true believers of illness with god-given dick
 magic. russia's queen has him come stay at
 the palace and sets him up in luxury because
 she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia
 with the power of russian goat jesus, and they
 (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause
 she craves that unwashed goat-scented
 dick like the rest of his cult which she now
 (allegedly) belongs to
 then the worst assassins in the history
 of assassinations try to assassinate him,
 ause
 queen he has too much power over the royal
 family and it's helping revolutionaries tunn
 people against the royals. so these idiots
 have him round for tea and cakes which are
 poisoned with cyanide, but he-is-magieally
 unaf
 and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three
 glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and
 he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru-
 cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver
 when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but
 they think he's dead so one of them dresses in
 his clothes and gets driven to his apartment
 to make it look like he's gone home to hide the
 crime, and when they come back he gets up
 and attacks them, so they stab him in the side
 with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he
 frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot
 him a few times more, including in the fore-
 head, and they wrap his body up and chuck
 him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the
 water, so his body is found on the ice the next
 day. and get this he died.... of hypothermia
 they get the dose wrong
 tyrannosaurus-rex
 additionally, everyone who wasnt in the
 party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty
 bummed out when they found him and his
 miracle dick dead the next day and there was
 a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal
 family themselves attended. however after
 the tsar was overthrown a few month later
 they exhumed his body and burned it because
 the new leadership was very adamant about
 making sure there were no ties left to honor
 the old monarchy. however this dudes
 body had never been properly prepped for
 a cremation which meant that under the
 extreme heat his tendons and ligaments
 began to retract and shrink causing his dead
 body to move and twitch around as if still
 animate. according to some testimony his
 body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and
 at least one spectator fired a gun at the body
 and another may have allegedly died of shock.
 watercolor-gryphon
 Rasputin was an old god from times
 before humans
 mad-duck
 He is like a cleric gone wild
 godlessondheimite
 "did rasputin do something problematic"
 i am going to die
 Source: hamtastrophe
 177,175 notes
Russias Greatest Love Machine
        

            
            

                
                
                    Russias Greatest Love Machine: probablyhistoricalrpgideas
 bumblesee
 hamtastrophe
 it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was
 real. like there's no non-fucked up part of
 rasputin's existence
 rollinbylimpbizkit
 did he do something problematic i thought he
 was just russia's greatest love machine
 the-itchy-bitchy-spider
 basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk
 who has almost never shaved or washed and
 smells like goats shows up at the russian
 capital with a creepy look on his beardy face
 and everyone just assumes he's a prophet
 or a saint because he's got a cult following
 that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans
 are sexually obsessed with him and he gets
 just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever
 he goes cause apparently he can cure his
 true believers of illness with god-given dick
 magic. russia's queen has him come stay at
 the palace and sets him up in luxury because
 she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia
 with the power of russian goat jesus, and they
 (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause
 she craves that unwashed goat-scented
 dick like the rest of his cult which she now
 (allegedly) belongs to
 then the worst assassins in the history
 of assassinations try to assassinate him,
 ause
 queen he has too much power over the royal
 family and it's helping revolutionaries tunn
 people against the royals. so these idiots
 have him round for tea and cakes which are
 poisoned with cyanide, but he-is-magieally
 unaf
 and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three
 glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and
 he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru-
 cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver
 when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but
 they think he's dead so one of them dresses in
 his clothes and gets driven to his apartment
 to make it look like he's gone home to hide the
 crime, and when they come back he gets up
 and attacks them, so they stab him in the side
 with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he
 frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot
 him a few times more, including in the fore-
 head, and they wrap his body up and chuck
 him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the
 water, so his body is found on the ice the next
 day. and get this he died.... of hypothermia
 they get the dose wrong
 tyrannosaurus-rex
 additionally, everyone who wasnt in the
 party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty
 bummed out when they found him and his
 miracle dick dead the next day and there was
 a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal
 family themselves attended. however after
 the tsar was overthrown a few month later
 they exhumed his body and burned it because
 the new leadership was very adamant about
 making sure there were no ties left to honor
 the old monarchy. however this dudes
 body had never been properly prepped for
 a cremation which meant that under the
 extreme heat his tendons and ligaments
 began to retract and shrink causing his dead
 body to move and twitch around as if still
 animate. according to some testimony his
 body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and
 at least one spectator fired a gun at the body
 and another may have allegedly died of shock.
 watercolor-gryphon
 Rasputin was an old god from times
 before humans
 mad-duck
 He is like a cleric gone wild
 godlessondheimite
 "did rasputin do something problematic"
 i am going to die
 Source: hamtastrophe
 177,175 notes
Russias Greatest Love Machine
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Rasputin: hamtastrophe
 it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was
 real. like theres no non-fucked up part of
 rasputin's existence
 rollinbylimpbizkit
 did he do something problematic i thought he
 was just russia's greatest love machine
 the-itchy-bitchy-spider
 basic (true) story: fanatical russian monlk
 who has almost never shaved or washed and
 smells like goats shos up at the russian
 capital with a creepy look on his beardy face
 and everyone just assumes he's a prophet
 or a saint because he's got a cult following
 that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans
 are sexually obsessed with him and he gets
 just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever
 he goes cause apparently he can cure his
 true believers of illness with god-given dick
 magic. russia's queen has him come stay at
 the palace and sets him up in luxury because
 she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia
 with the power of russian goat jesus, and they
 (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause
 she craves that unwashed goat-scented
 dick like the rest of his cult which she now
 (allegedly) belongs to.
 then the worst assassins in the history
 of assassinations try to assassinate him,
 ause
 queen he has too much power over the royal
 family and it's helping revolutionaries turn
 people against the royals. so these idiots
 have him round for tea and cakes which are
 poisoned with cyanide, but he is-magieally
 unaffeeted-by peisen they get the dose wrong
 and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three
 glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and
 he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru-
 cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver
 when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but
 they think he's dead so one of them dresses in
 his clothes and gets driven to his apartment
 to make it look like he's gone home to hide the
 crime, and when they come back he gets up
 and attacks them, so they stab him in the side
 with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he
 frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot
 him a few times more, including in the fore
 head, and they wrap his body up and chuck
 him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the
 water, so his body is found on the ice the next
 day. and get this.. he died.. of hypothermia.
 tyrannosaurus-rex
 additionally, everyone who wasnt in the
 party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty
 bummed out when they found him and his
 miracle dick dead the next day and there was
 a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal
 family themselves attended. however
 the tsar was overthrown a few month later
 after
 exhumed his body and burned it because
 the new leadership was very adamant about
 making sure there were no ties left to honor
 the old monarchy. however this dudes
 body had never been properly prepped for
 a cremation which meant that under the
 extreme heat his tendons and ligaments
 began to retract and shrink causing his dead
 body to move and twitch around as if still
 animate. according to some testimony his
 body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and
 at least one spectator fired a gun at the body
 and another may have allegedly died of shock.
 watercolor-gryphon
 Rasputin was an old god from times before
 humans
 mad-duck
 He is like a cleric gone wild
 unnatural-twenty
 Calling Rasputin a cleric is bard erasure, the
 dude seduced a monarch and then proceeded
 to pull off like 5 Nat 20's in a row. That's the
 most true to life bardic thing l've ever heard
 Source: hamtastrophe
Rasputin
        

            
            

                
                
                    Rasputin: hamtastrophe
 it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was
 real. like theres no non-fucked up part of
 rasputin's existence
 rollinbylimpbizkit
 did he do something problematic i thought he
 was just russia's greatest love machine
 the-itchy-bitchy-spider
 basic (true) story: fanatical russian monlk
 who has almost never shaved or washed and
 smells like goats shos up at the russian
 capital with a creepy look on his beardy face
 and everyone just assumes he's a prophet
 or a saint because he's got a cult following
 that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans
 are sexually obsessed with him and he gets
 just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever
 he goes cause apparently he can cure his
 true believers of illness with god-given dick
 magic. russia's queen has him come stay at
 the palace and sets him up in luxury because
 she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia
 with the power of russian goat jesus, and they
 (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause
 she craves that unwashed goat-scented
 dick like the rest of his cult which she now
 (allegedly) belongs to.
 then the worst assassins in the history
 of assassinations try to assassinate him,
 ause
 queen he has too much power over the royal
 family and it's helping revolutionaries turn
 people against the royals. so these idiots
 have him round for tea and cakes which are
 poisoned with cyanide, but he is-magieally
 unaffeeted-by peisen they get the dose wrong
 and he doesn't die, and then he drinks three
 glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and
 he doesn't die, so they tell him to look at a cru-
 cifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver
 when he isn't looking, and he doesn't die, but
 they think he's dead so one of them dresses in
 his clothes and gets driven to his apartment
 to make it look like he's gone home to hide the
 crime, and when they come back he gets up
 and attacks them, so they stab him in the side
 with a knife, and he doesn't die, and then he
 frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot
 him a few times more, including in the fore
 head, and they wrap his body up and chuck
 him in the icy river, and he doesn't go into the
 water, so his body is found on the ice the next
 day. and get this.. he died.. of hypothermia.
 tyrannosaurus-rex
 additionally, everyone who wasnt in the
 party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty
 bummed out when they found him and his
 miracle dick dead the next day and there was
 a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal
 family themselves attended. however
 the tsar was overthrown a few month later
 after
 exhumed his body and burned it because
 the new leadership was very adamant about
 making sure there were no ties left to honor
 the old monarchy. however this dudes
 body had never been properly prepped for
 a cremation which meant that under the
 extreme heat his tendons and ligaments
 began to retract and shrink causing his dead
 body to move and twitch around as if still
 animate. according to some testimony his
 body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and
 at least one spectator fired a gun at the body
 and another may have allegedly died of shock.
 watercolor-gryphon
 Rasputin was an old god from times before
 humans
 mad-duck
 He is like a cleric gone wild
 unnatural-twenty
 Calling Rasputin a cleric is bard erasure, the
 dude seduced a monarch and then proceeded
 to pull off like 5 Nat 20's in a row. That's the
 most true to life bardic thing l've ever heard
 Source: hamtastrophe
Rasputin
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        One of the first Russian Chaos Agents, Rasputin: hamtastrophe
 it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was
 real. like there's no non-fucked up part of
 rasputin's existence
 rollinbylimpbizkit
 did he do something problematic i thought he
 was just russia's greatest love machine
 the-itchy-bitchy-spider
 basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk
 who has almost never shaved or washed and
 smells like goats shows up at the russian
 capital with a creepy look on his beardy face
 and everyone just assumes he's a prophet
 or a saint because he's got a cult following
 that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans
 are sexually obsessed with him and he gets
 just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever
 he goes cause apparently he can cure his
 true believers of illness with god-given dick
 magic. russia's queen has him come stay at
 the palace and sets him up in luxury because
 she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia
 with the power of russian goat jesus, and they
 (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause
 she craves that unwashed goat-scented
 dick like the rest of his cult which she now
 (allegedly) belongs to
 then the worst assassins in the history of as-
 sassinations try to assassinate him, because
 he has
 too much power over the royal family and it's
 helping revolutionaries turn people against
 the royals. so these idiots have him round
 for tea and cakes which are poisoned with
 cyanide, but
 sen they get the dose wrong and he doesn't
 die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine,
 which are also poisoned, and he doesn't die,
 so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot
 him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't
 looking, and he doesn't die, but they think hes
 dead so one of them dresses in his clothes
 and gets driven to his apartment to make it
 look like he's gone home to hide the crime, and
 when they come back he gets up and attacks
 them, so they stab him in the side with a knife,
 and he doesn't die, and then he frees himself
 and runs outside, so they shoot him a few
 times more, including in the forehead, and
 they wrap his body up and chuck him in the
 icy river, and he doesn't go into the water, so
 his body is found on the ice the next day. and
 get this. .he died... f hypothermia
 Source: hamtastrophe
One of the first Russian Chaos Agents, Rasputin
        

            
            

                
                
                    One of the first Russian Chaos Agents, Rasputin: hamtastrophe
 it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was
 real. like there's no non-fucked up part of
 rasputin's existence
 rollinbylimpbizkit
 did he do something problematic i thought he
 was just russia's greatest love machine
 the-itchy-bitchy-spider
 basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk
 who has almost never shaved or washed and
 smells like goats shows up at the russian
 capital with a creepy look on his beardy face
 and everyone just assumes he's a prophet
 or a saint because he's got a cult following
 that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans
 are sexually obsessed with him and he gets
 just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever
 he goes cause apparently he can cure his
 true believers of illness with god-given dick
 magic. russia's queen has him come stay at
 the palace and sets him up in luxury because
 she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia
 with the power of russian goat jesus, and they
 (allegedly) become lovers, probably, 'cause
 she craves that unwashed goat-scented
 dick like the rest of his cult which she now
 (allegedly) belongs to
 then the worst assassins in the history of as-
 sassinations try to assassinate him, because
 he has
 too much power over the royal family and it's
 helping revolutionaries turn people against
 the royals. so these idiots have him round
 for tea and cakes which are poisoned with
 cyanide, but
 sen they get the dose wrong and he doesn't
 die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine,
 which are also poisoned, and he doesn't die,
 so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot
 him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't
 looking, and he doesn't die, but they think hes
 dead so one of them dresses in his clothes
 and gets driven to his apartment to make it
 look like he's gone home to hide the crime, and
 when they come back he gets up and attacks
 them, so they stab him in the side with a knife,
 and he doesn't die, and then he frees himself
 and runs outside, so they shoot him a few
 times more, including in the forehead, and
 they wrap his body up and chuck him in the
 icy river, and he doesn't go into the water, so
 his body is found on the ice the next day. and
 get this. .he died... f hypothermia
 Source: hamtastrophe
One of the first Russian Chaos Agents, Rasputin
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save