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Her profile said she was into RPGs: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you ready to begin your quest? Hello stranger, what do I need to do, to complete your request. You have to recover a long time lost manuscript held by a famous necromancer. Your journey begins in a forest. The left of you is a mountain with a large boulder blocking it's entrance, in front of you is an ancient graveyard. Some of the greatest heroes of the realm rest there I would like to investigate the grave- yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not strong enough to push that boulder As you enter the graveyard you notice old tombstones crumbling, scribed in language too ancient to be known by any living creature. While searching around you find a crypt, the front door has been knocked open, you can hear a soft gust of wind coming from inside. I copy the ancient text, best as possible. I use 'produce flame' when I enter the crypt. As you go in the light from your spell fills the room, you notice the coffins that adorn the walls and a spiral staircase that leads further down, at the bottom of it lies a large room, broken pillars, and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very powerful wizard from centuries past. Further away, with barely any light around it, you see a creature in a black robe facing away, as it ignores you on purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter in front of it, and it's hands deep inside it As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse me, but it's not nice to sacrifice people" en hold my flame ready to attack if he would attack me... The creature in black turns annoyed by your interference, you see a beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's deformed face makes your stomach sick, as you think that eating all those fries before entering a graveyard was a bad idea. A purple light starts forming as he moves his hands together With a quick look around you notice a large floating orb 3 meters above the creature's head. You remember the old legend of Sild's orb, which he used teleport anywhere in the world. Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot my flame to the orb so the bug guy can't escape. And pull out my scimitar ready to attack As your flame hits, the orb shatters into what seems to be glass spikes, flying everywhere, further damaging the room. Some hit the creature, tearing his black robes just to reveal pieces of rotting flesh. The stench of death takes over the room, you can't hold those fries anymore, as you make an effort to not puke onto your brand new heels -and you hear your own voice in your head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ? As you get distracted, the creature fires his spell, you quickly block it with your scimitar, but it flies away from your hand. You are disarmed and the creature starts running in your direction "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL SNEAKERS as I replied to my own question. I take them of hold them as a weapon ready to defend myself against the ugly bug dude. And try to figure out if I can back to my scimitar. As you dual-wield your brand new puke-free heels you notice a two fast moving shadows moving behind the creature. Desperation starts to hit as you are outnumbered and your scimitar is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the shadows jump onto the creatures head and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for installing that catdoor years ago. The creature loses balance just as it reaches you, slipping and faceplanting your puddle fries and cola that rested on the floor. You plunge it's head with both heels. It explodes and the creature slowly starts turning into ashes... You give a well deserved pet to them. The comforting purring sounds fills the room, you feel safe now. One of your familiars starts digging into the ash pile, as he found something of value there. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE! I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open and eat the cookie while I read. And also keep petting them, like a good rub under the chin. You slowly chew the cookie, the slight chocolate taste is well welcome at this moment, unravel the note, and it says , hit me up for fries & movies sometime. Sept Her profile said she was into RPGs

Her profile said she was into RPGs

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growingthings: goingtiny: I have degrees in costume design and textiles so I got mending through advanced mending as part of my higher education, but there were both aesthetics and techniques that I found fresh in Katrina Rodabaugh’s MENDING MATTERS.  Make slow fashion one of your things in 2019. Whether you are brand-new or an old-hand at mending, this book has simple instructions for practical fixes that make clothing more interesting and will help you get more mileage out of your most-favorite shirts and pants.  Great guides for patching differently depending on what part of the garment you are trying to fix and whether you want a visible repair or an invisible one.  It’s all drawn from the Japanese technique known as sashiko, get down the basics and then adapt and apply in all the little ways that work for you.   I have some beloved jeans where I have completely burned through the upper inner thighs and they are about to get some mending love…. [Image description: a photograph of the cover of ‘Mending Matters’ by Katrina Rodabaugh. Under the title says ‘stitch, patch and repair your favourite denim & more’. Below the title and text is a large pile of 7 folded denim jeans which have been visibly repaired in decorative ways with white thread. Below them says ‘a slow fashion guide for a well-loved wardrobe.’] : MENDING MATTERS STITCH, PATCH, AND REPAIR KATRINA RODABAUGH YOUR FAVORITE DENIM & MORE A Slow Fashion guide for a well-loved ward robe growingthings: goingtiny: I have degrees in costume design and textiles so I got mending through advanced mending as part of my higher education, but there were both aesthetics and techniques that I found fresh in Katrina Rodabaugh’s MENDING MATTERS.  Make slow fashion one of your things in 2019. Whether you are brand-new or an old-hand at mending, this book has simple instructions for practical fixes that make clothing more interesting and will help you get more mileage out of your most-favorite shirts and pants.  Great guides for patching differently depending on what part of the garment you are trying to fix and whether you want a visible repair or an invisible one.  It’s all drawn from the Japanese technique known as sashiko, get down the basics and then adapt and apply in all the little ways that work for you.   I have some beloved jeans where I have completely burned through the upper inner thighs and they are about to get some mending love…. [Image description: a photograph of the cover of ‘Mending Matters’ by Katrina Rodabaugh. Under the title says ‘stitch, patch and repair your favourite denim & more’. Below the title and text is a large pile of 7 folded denim jeans which have been visibly repaired in decorative ways with white thread. Below them says ‘a slow fashion guide for a well-loved wardrobe.’]

growingthings: goingtiny: I have degrees in costume design and textiles so I got mending through advanced mending as part of my higher e...

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The Baptism of the Anti Christ (colourized, year unknown): vinebox i'm so in love with this bath bomb pocmemes jojo @cloutboyjojoo i should get baptized with this in my pocket...the whole church gone go crazy World Champ JR E @HarlemGetsMoney Replying to @cloutboyjojoo **water turns black The church: cry is trash13 I had a server tell me about how he was harassed into going to a church baptism ceremony by a not so close friend and to get them off his back he agreed He decided some time before that of he was going to be forced to do this her might as well have fun with it right? So he goes to lush and buys one of the black bath bombs, and cuts it in haf Now fast forward to the day of and he is wearing a small hamess under his shirt that is keeping both haves of the bath bomb one either shoulder blade He volunteers to get baptised They take him up put him in the white robe and then he waits for his turn. Now the friend who invited him had no clue what he is doing. They are pleasantly surprised to see him participating Honestly. A mistake on their part I only knew this guy for a max of 45 minutes and I could already tell this dude was a chaos entity So his turn comes up and they go to dunk him and the water immediately starts to foam and turn black and he starts screaming like a banchee jumps out the water and hisses at the priest Everyone fucking lost it and her was banned from ever attending that church again So yeah all in all seems like a great thing to do for a hilarious story Source vinebox2 82,219 notes The Baptism of the Anti Christ (colourized, year unknown)
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persephinae:Please read Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books: Now a black-robed figure scurried through the midmiuth streets, ducking from doorway to doorway, and reachet grim and forbidding portal. No mere doorway got tha m without effort, one felt. It looked as though the architecth been called in and given specific instructions. We w something eldritch in dark oak, he'd been told. So pu unpleasant gargoyle thing over the archway, give i like the footfall of a giant and make it clear to everyour fact, that this isn't the kind of door that goes "ding when you press the bell. The figure rapped a complex code on the work. A tiny barred hatch opened and one peered out. GUARDS! GUARDS! tor, trying to wring the rainwater out of its robe. intoned a voice on the other side of the grille. countered the dripping figure. " The significant owl hoots in the night,' " said the visi- 'Yet many gray lords go sadly to the masterless men, 3 73 Hooray, hooray for the spinster's sister's daughter;" “ ‘To the axeman, all supplicants are the same height!" “ ‘Yet verily, the rose is within the thorn. ” «" The good mother makes bean soup for the errant boy,' " said the voice behind the door. of Then the visitor said, "What?" boy. said, "Are you sure the ill-built tower doesn't tremble There was a pause, broken only by the sound of the rain. " The good mother makes bean soup for the errant There was another, longer pause. Then the damp figure 9 55 mightily at a butterfly's passage?" "Nope. Bean soup it is. I'm sorry." an The rain hissed down relentlessly in the embarrassed si- lence. "What about the cagèd whale?" said the soaking visitor, trying to squeeze into what little shelter the dread portal offered. "What about it?" "It should know nothing of the mighty deeps, if you must "Oh, the cagèd whale. You want the Elucidated Brethren "Who're you, then?" 93 know." of the Ebon Night. Three doors down." "We're the Illuminated and Ancient Brethren of Ee." I thought you met over in Treacle Street," said the damp "Yeah, well. You know how it is. The fretwork club have 64 man, after a while. the room Tuesdays. There was a bit of a mix-up persephinae:Please read Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books
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thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/demons? Occultists? Maybe only Adam? So many possibilities. I also struggled a lot with Adam’s looks. I wanted him to look like an honest to god nice, charming guy who also looked super creepy in the right (wrong?) light. There was supposed to be a whole backstory about Mrs. Poppel’s husband and when Adam came into her life, but I decided to leave it out as it was already pretty text heavy. : At the end of the road is a big old mansion that could house several families, but it only has two inhabitants: Old, rich Mrs. Poppel and her butler Adam. Mrs. Poppel was never much of a smiler, but there doesn't seem to be a mean bone in her. If children kick a ball into her garden she doesn't make a fuzz, just nods at them and watch as they retrieve it. Most days people can see her embroide own little ring by the window, seemingly caught up in her She is peculiar, but never bothers anyone She's just an old lady who spends her days sowing and socializing at the local book club Tell your sister I hope she gets well soon. Adam is quite different. Always smiling and friendly. Always ready to help if he has the time. He's incredibly popular in town,F not to mention at the pub when he has a few hours off. He drinks, laughs and sings, and can even be talked into playing the guitar if asked enough times. Women love him too, but he just winks at them and jokes that he's committed to Mrs. Poppel. It's his own fault that people started spreading rumors that he was really Mrs s live-in lover who had been put to work around the house Typically Adam he just played along. "I don't kiss and tell" When some drunk lads saw him walk arm in arm with Mrs. Poppel down the street, no doubt to steady her, they teasingly shouted "Taking your sweetheart out fora stroll?!" while making kissing sounds been up to now?" l looked up at him like, "What have you They're an odd pair, but they seem happy together in the big house Pork? Again? I'm sorry, Mrs Im still waiting for a delivery Adam even does things not expected of a butler, like gardening while she rests in a sun chair, which has only added fuel to the rumors SU way, Adam d every once in a while something incredible happens; Mrs smiles. No one knows how Adam does it, but neither is it a surprise to anyone It l An Only one truly odd thing has ever happened to them One night a neighbor saw a man sneaking around the house testing the cellar windows. The bedroom. That's where old ladies keep all the good stuff She didn't see him get in, but suddenly he was gone so she grabbed the phone and called the police, just to be safe. What!? She's still home? That means her boy-toy has to be somewhere in the house too- Huh? Adam opened the door dressed in a robe when the police rang the doorbell. He woke up Mrs. Poppel and together they could confirm that the house hadn't been broken into. The officers couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, but gave Mrs Poppel a number to call if they saw anything The following day a man by the name Eric was reported missing. He had lived a rough life of petty crime and robbery, and sometimes didn't contact his friends or family for weeks so it was impossible to say when exactly he disappears. It could have been that same day, or two weeks prior People wondered if maybe he had been the man sneaking around outside Mrs. Poppel's house, but everyone agreed that it was probably just a coincidence. After all, people like him went missing all the time in the surrounding towns. And even if it was him, what did it matter? Mrs. Poppel and Adam were good eople who were loved by the whole town. There was no reason to cause trouble for them, no matter what their relationship was. Besides, Mrs. Poppel had one of her good weeks after that night, seeming a lot more cheerful and happy. It would be a shame to ruin it. thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/demons? Occultists? Maybe only Adam? So many possibilities. I also struggled a lot with Adam’s looks. I wanted him to look like an honest to god nice, charming guy who also looked super creepy in the right (wrong?) light. There was supposed to be a whole backstory about Mrs. Poppel’s husband and when Adam came into her life, but I decided to leave it out as it was already pretty text heavy.

thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampire...

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Douglas Adams appreciation post: stoneyboboney tumbl Follow urbanoceanbx hapter 3 1 g car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the finst two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like phn Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly terrible Se clledt He was tall and he grandtheftautosanandreas Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters the-fandoms-are-valentines they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay "He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis." Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you. "He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way of "It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro." "If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly nudityandnerdery And, of course The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. drinkmasturbatecry the one that will always stay with me is "Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath," i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words marsdaydream I will reblog this every time l see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language ladyscientia Douglas Adams understands me Source:kingwizardandthelizardgizzard #42 #yes this #ahahaha #Douglas Adams 436,335 notes Douglas Adams appreciation post
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<p><a href="http://memehumor.net/post/171057252643/bad-choice-of-product-placement" class="tumblr_blog">memehumor</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Bad choice of product placement</p></blockquote>: Ig Joannehusband Tived in flat with dead wifesbody in wardrobefor 48hours News 9 IV Conor Feehan ruE grief-stricken sister ota stanley blade and property, breaking his the fall He then p murder victim Jonnne lee has eut ex as friends continued to their condolencers It is beleved Jok her sadnesn and pain Gardai obsequently confronted her busth the alezed affair offer eovered the body of Joanne wrapped in bed clothes and Gardal believe Mr tall revealed her a sleeping bag in a wardro by posting five in the fnat. She alno had a had dencended into chace Up until relatively re had been workin known eity centa he was a chet However, he ha heartbroken emjis n er over her hend Facebook page, as friends er rallied to support her while wrapped that officers belleve body was so tight to work out her tragle she was to be moved rinking heavily sister Joannes last movements where. Friends posted tributes to Joanne and messages of support STRANGLED for Jennifer-including one pal Post-mortem ex who described the situation as showed that she a h "devastating" to have be in the dru examinations In November, he strangled and had been dead and her husband Keith drugı ust in a p ple Bar nightelub "Jen, don't know wat to say, for at least four days. it's just devastating. I'm thinkin Gardai believe of u an yr family xXx," the friend posted online will be quizzed about his wifes found him in pe Mr Lee lived murder in the flat with his dead wifes At the weekend, forensie Mr Lee had in the wardrobe for at teams continued their Inves the garda rada 48 hours before he jumped tigation of the house where raid and, a sour found in dramatic cireumstane- from the window es last Thursday when gardai Mr Lce broke Into a flat in Ranelagh made certain admissions to Joanne was discovered. surprised is reported to have Itemerged yesterday that her of drugs recov marríage broke down after she ed to be wos usedl entry. gardai before being taken to discovered her husband was e11.000 husband St James's Hospital where he having a drug-fuelled affair Last Tuesda in a city garda Joanne's Keith Lee, the main suspect in remains under armed guard. her murder, then jumped outThe Herald understands that a third-floor window of the it may be some days before he with an American woman. It is understood detectives a are attempting to trace this Joanne. mped in a wardrobe ING WARDROBE SPECIALS FRE AS BE UNIT VALANCE 5 DOOR ROBE 90" WIDE 198CM <p><a href="http://memehumor.net/post/171057252643/bad-choice-of-product-placement" class="tumblr_blog">memehumor</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Bad choice of product placement</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://memehumor.net/post/171057252643/bad-choice-of-product-placement" class="tumblr_blog">memehumor</a>:</p> <blockquote><...

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marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay “He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.” “Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.” “He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.” “It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.” “If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.” And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.” the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words. I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language. : ch in fully k tti Chapter 3 1 ng he west ing car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty each robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like d dream of enly fling the terrible eously. So rminedly ecalled" John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingy amiliar He was tall and he gangled. marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay “He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.” “Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.” “He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.” “It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.” “If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.” And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.” the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words. I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
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spring-day6: lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read. @dn-a @lesbianblossomjimin @flowerboyjjk @jinglehoonie @blushingkunoichi @connie-the-marshmellow @confessionsofashyfangirl @delicatelykeenbouquet @fooderaser : spring-day6: lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read. @dn-a @lesbianblossomjimin @flowerboyjjk @jinglehoonie @blushingkunoichi @connie-the-marshmellow @confessionsofashyfangirl @delicatelykeenbouquet @fooderaser
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DEAR STRANGERS THINGS YALL AINT HAVE TO KILL OFF THE CHUBBY, NERDY LOVABLE DUDE LIKE THAT, WE AIN’T EEN GET A CHANCE TO SEE OL BOY HIT WINONA WITH THAT NERDY DIH SO NOW SHE GON BE CRAZY FOR 17 MORE SEASONS YALL FOUL FOR THAT. PLUS HE WAS AN EARLY ADOPTER OF THE GIGANTIC VHS CAMERA YALL COULD HAVE MADE HIM FREAKY LIKE YALL COULD HAVE DIRECTED THE PLOT TO WHERE HE PIONEERED THE AMATEUR HOME VIDEO BEFORE ALL THESE WEIRDOS STARTED STRAPPING GO-PRO’s TO THEY HEADPIECE LOOKING LIKE CYCLOPS AND ISHT. BACK WHEN U RESPECTABLY PLACED THE HOME VHS RECORDER ON THE NIGHT STAND AND JUST LET IT ROLL LOL. THAT WAS WELL BEFORE MY TIME I’M JUST SAYING IT WAS MORE RESPECTFUL BACK THEN LIKE MEN WOULD GET THEY MULLET ON POINT AND ROCK A SILK ROBE MAYBE LIGHT A CANDLE AND PLAY LIONEL RITCHIE NOW U JUST PULL A iPHONE OUT SWIPE LEFT AND HIT RECORD IT WAS A MORE CINEMATIC - ROMANTIC TIME BACK THEN BUT I DIGRESS. YALL COULD HIRE ME AS A WRITER LEMME UPGRADE YALL THE CRAZY INDIAN GIRL GOT POTENTIAL AS A SUPERHERO DUO WITH ELEVEN BUT I DON’T TRUST YALL TO DO IT RIGHT REACH OUT NOW WHILE MY PRICE IS CHEAP - ONCE I GET MY BOOK DEAL MY PRICE GON GO WAY UP AND INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR FREE TACOS AND ICE CREAM IMMA DIRECT YOU TO MY TEAM OF THREE AGGRESSIVE JEWISH FEMALE LAWYERS WITH SOUTHERN ACCENTS LIKE THEM TEXAN JEWISH LADIES WHO DON’T PLAY BRUV THEY ACT NICE AND SOUTHERN SWEET BUT THEN WHEN U PUT INK TO PAPER THEY GON TAKE HALF OFF THE TOP. I’M ON SALE - BLACK SUNDAY SALE - HOLLA AT ME - LEMME UPGRADE SEASON 3 BLESS UP 🤗😍😂😂😂: Bear likes to hold his feet when he sleeps. Pic: reddit u/DarthFoxy @DrSmashlove DEAR STRANGERS THINGS YALL AINT HAVE TO KILL OFF THE CHUBBY, NERDY LOVABLE DUDE LIKE THAT, WE AIN’T EEN GET A CHANCE TO SEE OL BOY HIT WINONA WITH THAT NERDY DIH SO NOW SHE GON BE CRAZY FOR 17 MORE SEASONS YALL FOUL FOR THAT. PLUS HE WAS AN EARLY ADOPTER OF THE GIGANTIC VHS CAMERA YALL COULD HAVE MADE HIM FREAKY LIKE YALL COULD HAVE DIRECTED THE PLOT TO WHERE HE PIONEERED THE AMATEUR HOME VIDEO BEFORE ALL THESE WEIRDOS STARTED STRAPPING GO-PRO’s TO THEY HEADPIECE LOOKING LIKE CYCLOPS AND ISHT. BACK WHEN U RESPECTABLY PLACED THE HOME VHS RECORDER ON THE NIGHT STAND AND JUST LET IT ROLL LOL. THAT WAS WELL BEFORE MY TIME I’M JUST SAYING IT WAS MORE RESPECTFUL BACK THEN LIKE MEN WOULD GET THEY MULLET ON POINT AND ROCK A SILK ROBE MAYBE LIGHT A CANDLE AND PLAY LIONEL RITCHIE NOW U JUST PULL A iPHONE OUT SWIPE LEFT AND HIT RECORD IT WAS A MORE CINEMATIC - ROMANTIC TIME BACK THEN BUT I DIGRESS. YALL COULD HIRE ME AS A WRITER LEMME UPGRADE YALL THE CRAZY INDIAN GIRL GOT POTENTIAL AS A SUPERHERO DUO WITH ELEVEN BUT I DON’T TRUST YALL TO DO IT RIGHT REACH OUT NOW WHILE MY PRICE IS CHEAP - ONCE I GET MY BOOK DEAL MY PRICE GON GO WAY UP AND INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR FREE TACOS AND ICE CREAM IMMA DIRECT YOU TO MY TEAM OF THREE AGGRESSIVE JEWISH FEMALE LAWYERS WITH SOUTHERN ACCENTS LIKE THEM TEXAN JEWISH LADIES WHO DON’T PLAY BRUV THEY ACT NICE AND SOUTHERN SWEET BUT THEN WHEN U PUT INK TO PAPER THEY GON TAKE HALF OFF THE TOP. I’M ON SALE - BLACK SUNDAY SALE - HOLLA AT ME - LEMME UPGRADE SEASON 3 BLESS UP 🤗😍😂😂😂

DEAR STRANGERS THINGS YALL AINT HAVE TO KILL OFF THE CHUBBY, NERDY LOVABLE DUDE LIKE THAT, WE AIN’T EEN GET A CHANCE TO SEE OL BOY HIT WI...

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