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Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
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Climbing, Creepy, and Dude: 4:00:56 4:01:40 4:01:26 4:02:14 4:02:51 Sitting and Smiling #218 19,974 views 2 days ago Sitting and Smiling #217 19,961 views 4 days ago Sitting and Smiling #216 12,200 views 5 days ago Sitting and Smiling #215 12,609 views 6 days ago Sitting and Smiling #214 37,252 views 1 week ago 4:02:37 4:01:40 4:02:32 4:02:41 4:02:16 Sitting and Smiling #213 30,742 views 2 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #212 17,316 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #211 18,850 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #210 19,544 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #209 35,082 views 1 month ago 4:01:55 4:01:31 4:01:11 4:02:42 4:03:56 Sitting and Smiling #208 25,193 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #207 88,097 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #206 20,924 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #205 17,728 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #204 36,343 views 1 month ago thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
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