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Friends, House, and Today: About a year ago, we found a stray at my roommate's friend's house. Today, she is my fur child. Meet Sif.

About a year ago, we found a stray at my roommate's friend's house. Today, she is my fur child. Meet Sif.

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Butt, Dad, and Disney: huffylemon in 7th grade i went to the see a movie with a boy and in the middle of it he was like "do you wanna kiss" and i was like "excuse me" and he pulled a bag of hershey's kisses out of his coat DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A GOOD BACKUP PLAN THAT IS kidswithhats: story time!!! so in biology, this kid kept looking at his crotch and moving his hands back and forth, and we were all wondering what he was doing and the teacher saw and told him to show her what he was doing and hE WAS FUCKING CROCHETING UNDER HIS JACKET OMG. HE HAD A BALL OF YARN ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS HEAD AND A SCARF ABOUT 3/4 OF HIS HEIGHT Just slow clap it out. carry-on-my-wayward-butt: i just remembered how in middle school a bunch of boys would go around and tickle girl's chins and shout "BALLS ON UR CHIN" and this guy i knew did it to this tiny quiet unassuming girl and like at the speed of fuckin light she grabbed his arm and headbutted him directly in the nose and he passed the fuck out methlabrador wTF MY 7 YEAR OLD SISTER JUST CAME INTO MY ROOM AND GESTURED FOR ME TO FOLLOW HER AND DIDNT SAY ANYTHING SO I DID AND SHE LEAD ME INTO THE BACKYARD AND SHE SAID "IM GOING TO SHOW YOU MY SECRET" AND I WAS LIKE "WHAT OK" AND SHE TOOK THE LID OFF HER PORTABLE SANDBOX AND IT WAS FILLED WITH WATER AND LIKE THOUSANDS OF TINY BABY TADPOLES SWIMMING AROUND AND I WAS LIKE WHAT WHERE DID YOU GET THESE AND SHE SAID "iM RAISING THEM" starxapple: starxapple my grandpa has a date tonight and hes really old and in a wheelchair and has to drag around this breathing machine but hes just sitting there waiting for the hospice shuttle to take him to pick up his date and he looks SUPER EXCITED and its the cutest thing ive ever seen update he came home and i asked him how it went and he said, "i should have taken an extra tank of oxygen because she took my BREATH AWAY" blastortoise: I think the funniest thing that's ever happened to me during a sexual situation was when I was giving my first boyfriend a blow job and he was like "yeah take it all choke on it" and i was already at the base of his dick and it wasn't anywhere near the back of my throat and I like snorted from laughing, I guess he took at as me "choking" and he came and was like "fuuuck that's so sexy" and I just came up like iquanamouth: last year one night me and my old roommates were all playing twister and mike was on the spinner and halfway through the game he kind of mumbled to himself "i sure hope im calling these right" and then everyone in the room simultaneously remembered that mike was colorblind missmella You guys I'm in Disney World and this afternoon my blood sugar dropped so low I got separated from my family and somehow bought an ice cream and then blacked out and woke up on a bench with chocolate sauce all over my arms and Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on my head this truly is a magical place. horsesforfraublucher thedevilstongue: olivialaurel My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said "ahh, it's like making love in a canoe." and I said, "it's that good?" and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, "no, it's fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away Oh my GOD Extreme dad jokes. brOlan: my coworker just told me about a kid he knew in second grade that was really allergic to peanuts but one day during lunch he said that he couldn't take it anymore and wanted to know what reeses taste like so he pulled out his epipen, ate the reese cup then stabbed himself with the epipen and told the teacher to call the hospital and that kid is the most hardcore kid I've ever heard of I wanna be his friend Source:huffylemon 851.373 notes Here is a collection of classic tumblr posts, including a couple I've never seen before
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Android, Apparently, and College: AITA for making fake poop and leaving it in my roommates/my shower? I (F20) love my roommates but they don't ever clean the bathroom and especially the shower drain. We've had multiple discussions over this and it always ends up me being the one to have to clean everything. There's hair literally everywhere, and I had to drive to Walmart the other day to buy Draino. I've talked with my RA, but literally he just tells me he has his hands tied. Apparently it's not enough of an issue for the college to do anything about it. I've also talked to my roommates, but they see this as a non issue and refuse to clean (they're pretty much more of the party type and I'm more of the "nerdy" type). As a response to all this, my friend and I make a fake poop out of an olive, Nutella, soy sauce, and some paprika. All of these are edible ingredients which I then cooked for few minutes before smearing it on the shower floor. As a response my roommates filed a complaint, to which the college has taken an immediate response. In short, I'm in housing probation and might not get housing for next year. This is even after I explained it was fake poop! AITA? I feel as if the school has taken this too far. My roommates just aren't talking to me at all right now. t 4 Share 14 SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL 5m You are full of shit. What happened to your vegan wife that you snuck meat to? What about her leaving with the kids? Troll post https://www.reddit .com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ce30kg/aita for giving my vegan wife burgers/?utm medium= android app&utm source=share AITA for giving my vegan wife burgers? [removed] Middle aged guy pretends to be 20 year old college girl
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Angry, Boys, and Mine: Made some frat boys angry so they threw a brick at my trunk and kicked out mine and my roommates' tail lights

Made some frat boys angry so they threw a brick at my trunk and kicked out mine and my roommates' tail lights

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Apparently, Ass, and Bitch: 11:44 .LTE 79 Today 3:33 AM You just woke me up I have work in the morning Ahhh So what You owe me a coffee for this shit Well you are awake now I was enjoying my sleep goodbye Nahhh goodbye I spent so long trying to fall asleep Miss I ignore everything you say I'm trying to sleep I see nothing wrong with me sleeping How about you just text me your roommates number That's all I want You're disgusting Nope we banged No you didn't And have banged continuously How do you thing I have known shit about you No you haven't haha you would have her number What are you talking about I hadn't backed up my phone and lost her contact Therefore I wou ld've been able to stay in contact with her Are you trying to make me mad I'm not lying Prove it She would never want you to know What's the inside of her room look like She has a desk in between her restroom and bed She is sweet and kind Nice ass and big tits Most importantly a great personality Also The only reason why I was blowing up your phone the other day Is because you were literally texting my friend who had just eaten there and given his number to you. Soooo jokes on you lol Shit was hilarious Jokes on me? Thank you Yeah How What's the joke How do you think I originally knew about the fake bf, who you thought was real? And ITer disappointed you? Wait what? I had a boyfriend you're crazy No you are Crazy You think any guy that shows you attention is your boyfriend Hahaha Anyways you always ignore me I foreal could've fallen in love with you But you wasted it Instead your trying to hurt me You're Nahhhh That's all on you You are though you sound crazy But yeah I did fuck it up too However so did you Not lying though I'm not gonna fall in love with someone who just wants to fuck? And I'm not a liar Your roommate and I had sex in the kitchen While you were passed out on couch All you do is fuck random guys With ight there yeah okay So stfu What the fuck I don't fuck random guys asshole you just got lucky Who's Li The girl downstairs Delivered Nah apparently both your roommates say you do Anyways I just want breanna to contact me Thank you None of your roommates like you Th sucks That I was not trying to be an asshole but you really are a butch Bitch So fuck you Take off your fucken read shit Be smart Shots stupid Shits I really did have to reset my phone and haven't been able to figure out ageu ais soooo. I'm a fucken who b idiot. you at all give a shit let her know Please and thank you I did like you and thought you were gorgeous but also thought you were always going to want better than me: iMessage Pay Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching so this guy I used to talk to called me 13xs to say he is banging my roommate
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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently puked in the toilet before passing out. do not remember this part. The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night," I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me to come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party before. Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket told him I did. He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around here." I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly- burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something?" "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere." "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat." He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss it." He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck." And with that, he turned and left. A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering. It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder. One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL!!! We found your keys, gir!!!" They circled around me. I hadn't felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old. One of them split himself off from the crowd "Are these -" he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys?" And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes," I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." YYYYYY "EYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys this is boys will be boys
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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently puked in the toilet before passing out. do not remember this part. The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night," I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me to come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party before. Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket told him I did. He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around here." I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly- burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something?" "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere." "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat." He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss it." He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck." And with that, he turned and left. A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering. It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder. One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL!!! We found your keys, gir!!!" They circled around me. I hadn't felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old. One of them split himself off from the crowd "Are these -" he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys?" And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes," I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." YYYYYY "EYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys Nice Frathouse
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Cats, Comfortable, and Roommates: My roommates cats are finally getting comfortable with each other!

My roommates cats are finally getting comfortable with each other!

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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles I once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out do not remember The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night, I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me o come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party Derore. Wandering up the stairs a by hungover and still-drunk frat boys sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket. I told him I did. e mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around bere I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- at dumn-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently a particularly burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something? "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere. "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat. He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck. e turned and left. And with that, A few moments later, I heard a distant and it was getting louder and louder, One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL! We found your keys, girl!!! They circled around me. I hadn't felt that old, One of them split himself off from the crowd. "Are these -"he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys? And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes,"I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." "EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys Nice Frathouse via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/32oakat
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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles I once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out do not remember The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night, I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me o come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party Derore. Wandering up the stairs a by hungover and still-drunk frat boys sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket. I told him I did. e mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around bere I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- at dumn-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently a particularly burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something? "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere. "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat. He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck. e turned and left. And with that, A few moments later, I heard a distant and it was getting louder and louder, One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL! We found your keys, girl!!! They circled around me. I hadn't felt that old, One of them split himself off from the crowd. "Are these -"he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys? And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes,"I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." "EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys Nice Frathouse
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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently puked in the toilet before passing out. do not remember this part. The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night," I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me to come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party before. Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket told him I did. He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around here." I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly- burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something?" "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere." "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat." He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss it." He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck." And with that, he turned and left. A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering. It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder. One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL!!! We found your keys, gir!!!" They circled around me. I hadn't felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old. One of them split himself off from the crowd "Are these -" he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys?" And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes," I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." YYYYYY "EYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys Omg. This is Amazing
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Hungry, Orange, and How: This is how my roommates orange tabby Winston tell us he's hungry.

This is how my roommates orange tabby Winston tell us he's hungry.

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Girl, Good, and Her: My roommates dog all tuckered out from her new squeaky toy! Very good girl!

My roommates dog all tuckered out from her new squeaky toy! Very good girl!

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Bad, Sunset, and Dog: My roommates dog watching the sunset after a bad storm

My roommates dog watching the sunset after a bad storm

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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles I once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently puked in the toilet before passing out. I do not remember this part. The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night," I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me to come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party before. Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket Itold him I did He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around here." I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly- burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something?" "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere." "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat." He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss it." He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck." And with that, he turned and left. A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering. It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder. One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL!!! We found your keys, gir!!!" They circled around me. I hadn't felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old. One of them split himself off from the crowd. "Are these -" he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys?" And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes," I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." YYYYYY "EYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys
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