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Cats, Dogs, and Funny: Bu/no dain nae the a hne how many dogs does it take votone ives ahead ot us to change a lightbulb? sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? sorry, but I don't see a light bulb. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. ◆ Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there... Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Rottweiler: Make me. ◆ Boxer: Who cares?! can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can 1? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeze please, please, please Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry ◆ The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change ligh to take advantage of the German Shepherd: I'lI change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make I'll just pop it in while I'm sure I haven't missed bouncing off the walls any, and make just one and furniture. more perimeter patrol to Old English Sheep e see that no one has tried Dog: Light bulb? I'm situation. Jack Russell Terrier: bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I carn expect some light, some dinner, and a massage? 28 July 9, 2011 Funny

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Bad, Beer, and Bitch: What joke will make one burst into laughter for at least 30 seconds? DO NOT TELL A PERSONAL STORY A joke" should be the classic meaning of a joke (with a punchline, etc.) More Emmanuel Gautier, I have a weird laugh Written Thu Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, and notices a big jar full of money behind the counter. He asks the bartender, "Hey man, what's that jar? I bet there's at least one grand in there!" "Ah, you must be new here. It's a challenge. If you put in fifty bucks, and then succeed at three tasks, you get all the money inside the jar." "Really? Man, what a tourist trap! Do people actually try that?" "Sure." "Damn. Stil, that's a lot of money. I gotta ask, what are the three tasks?" "Well, first, you need to go over to the bouncer over there. Yeah, the tall, muscular guy. And you gotta knock him out in one punch. Wow." "Yeah. Next, in the backyard we have this wild rottweiler. Nasty dog. Rabid. And it has a bad tooth. We tried having the vet over, but he won't come anywhere near the beast. The task is to take out his bad tooth "Uh huh." "And finally, there's this lady upstairs. She owns the place. She's quite old. Sixty five, maybe seventy. Very nice lady. She lost her husband a decade ago and, well.. she's lonely. The task is to go see her and give her some." "That is twisted, my friend. Wow. It's amazing that anyone thinks they can pull all this off. People these days... Anyway.'" The guy drinks his beer, and then has another. And another. And another. Now quite inebriated, he punches the counter and yells, "Whatever man, I'll do your stupid challenge!" He throws in a $50 bill, goes to the bouncer, taps him on the shoulder, and WHAM! The bouncer is down in one punch. Everyone in the bar suddenly groups around the scene and starts cheering frantically. The guy shouts, "Where's the damn dog at?", people push him to the backdoor, which he pushes. The crowd awaits, hearing nothing at first Then, muffled screams, punches, scratches and howls coming from behind the door Finally, the door opens again, and the guy paces into the bar, slowly, his shirt ripped apart and stained with blood, breathing loudly. Finally, he throws his arms up in the air, and shouts in triumph! As the crowd cheers like crazy, he yells "NOW WHERE'S THE OLD BITCH WITH THE BAD TOOTH?" 48.9k Views View Upvotes Hahah made me LOL for real guys hhaha
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