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🔫: i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i'm doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he's got a new tool for helping people recognize when they're using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk and i'm like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i'm a linguistic learner and whenever paul's like here i have a tool for you to use it's pretty much always an article or a book or something paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare. i say, paul. is that a nerf gun. My therapist"I have a new tool for helping patients recognize negative thoughts" yeah, says paul. i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting. he happily informs me that that's really up to me, isn't it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying? and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i'm having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i've forgone getting groceries for the past week and that's so stupid, what a stupid issue, i'm an idiot, how could i- a foam dart hits me in the leg. i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again. i say, slowly, it's-not a stupid issue, i'm not stupid, but it's frustrating me and i don't want it to be a problem i'm having. no dart this time. okay. sweet. so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn't you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he's very smug about it anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what's all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools. 🔫
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He should defnitley become a lawyer: VIRGIN 1:31 AM 81% What is the funniest loophole you have ever seen? In the fall of 1979, I was a junior in high school with a new driver's license under my belt. I was always eager to run errands for my parents as it allowed me to get behind the wheel. In our little town we had a police officer, we'll call "D", who worked evenings. He was old, grossly overweight, and hated high-school kids. In our small town, if he busted a high-school kid, it usually wasn't for drugs or under-age drinking, it was usually for not turning on our headlights within a half hour of dusk. It became a running joke at high school: if you hadn't ever been pulled over by D, you were probably too young to drive. Going two miles over the speed limit would AIOT VIRGIN 1:34 AM 81% was usually for not turning on our headlights within a half hour of dusk. It became a running joke at high school: if you hadn't ever been pulled over by D, you were probably too young to drive. Going two miles over the speed limit would get one a ticket. He was NOT popular. I had finished my errand and was heading home when I saw the cherries come on. I pulled over. D ticketed me for...you guessed it...not having my headlights on thirty minutes after dusk. When I got home I was pissed. Dad said, "He was writing these kinds of tickets when I was a kid. Unless you can prove you had time to turn on your headlights, it's your word against his." I thought about it. "Maybe I can." I said. "Mom, do you still have the Farmer's Almanac?" "Sure do." she said, and reached over to the desk to grab it. A plan was forming, and I told them what I was going to do. They encouraged me to try it. The day of the summons came. Of course, if I VIRGIN 1:34 AM 81% The day of the summons came. Of course, if had paid the ticket, I wouldn't have to show. But I didn't pay and showed up at the time listed for traffic court. When it was my turn, I told the judge I'd done nothing wrong, and that I had plenty of time to turn on my lights I showed him my copy of the ticket. "Your Honor, the ticket was written at 6:28pm according to Officer D. Which means that if the sun set at 5:58, the ticket would be valid." The judge agreed with my reasoning, but informed me that there was no way I could prove when the sun set. "But your Honor, I CAN." I handed him the copy of the Farmer's Almanac, and showed him a chart in the middle of the book. The chart had dates listed, what time the sun rose, and...you guessed it again...when the sun set! According to the chart, the sun set at 6:02pm on that date. SoI had until 6:32pm to turn on the hoadliahtel With 2 tickot tima nf 6.28 lictod Olk Unveto 1:34 AM VIRGIN 81% According to the chart, the sun set at 6:02pm on that date. So I had until 6:32pm to turn on the headlights! With a ticket time of 6:28 listed, I had four minutes to turn on the lights. The judge said, "Anyone that goes through this much trouble deserves to be rewarded." He threw out the ticket. He shook his head, "You ever think of becoming a lawyer?" When word got around how I beat a ticket, others started doing the same thing. Soon a lot of Officer D's tickets failed the sniff test. Within a few months, it was suggested to him that it was time to retire. He did so. Peace once again was restored to our little town. 79.6k views View Upvoters View Sharers He should defnitley become a lawyer

He should defnitley become a lawyer

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: i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i'm doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he's got a new tool for helping people recognize when they're using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk and i'm like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i'm a linguistic learner and whenever paul's like here i have a tool for you to use it's pretty much always an article or a book or something paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare. isay, paul is that a nerf gun. My therapist"I have a new tool for helping patients recognize negative thoughts" yeah, says paul. i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting. he happily informs me that that's really up to me, isn't it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying? and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i'm having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i've forgone getting groceries for the past week and that's so stupid, what a stupid issue, i'm an idiot, how could i- a foam dart hits me in the leg. i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again. i say, slowly, it's-not a stupid issue, i'm not stupid, but it's frustrating me and i don't want it to be a problem i'm having. no dart this time. okay. sweet. so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn't you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he's very smug about it anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what's all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.
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Very defensive hun: Comments nat. nowever, in an MLM-a company tnat seins 332 likes products or goods, [heyoooo Zyia Active!] each and every one of us as a Rep starts on the same playing field. and what's more, i will ALWAYS have the ability to earn more than my Mama Rep [love alright y'all. let's talk about Multi-level Marketing. or MLM's if you prefer! -it's ultimately gonna be уa, up to me to work it work it work it. the freedom to not only earn a significant income [serious about retiring sweet MWB by the time he's 35!, but also join other boss babes doing big things according to their dreams goals, too?! heck yes. AND getting to stay home with our babe, run errands, fly to MN for 2 weeks straight AND STILL be building my own business along some of my absolute favorite women who inspire me, uplift me are just overall kick more about how MLM's aren't actually legit. not gonna lie - before having ANY experience in an MLM company, i was weary. i'd received my fair share of "hey girl!" messages. i'd been invited to do this that. i had a bad taste in my mouth about any sort of MLM. cause ultimately, they are illegal, right? YES! i like to live on the edge which is why i am a part of one! MLM's are NOT pyramid schemes [THOSE are illegal! I KID, I KID! and are a form of investment or business in which gals?! please tell me simply recruiting people to join you leads to higher pay. there is no real product sold in a pyramid scheme. NOT OKAY! SUPER ILLEGAL! okay y'all, stepping off of my #fiestyshal soap box to wrap it up: i'm a part of an MLM. sure am! and PROUD OF IT. because i'm able to "do it all" in #realtalk here. this is how i love explaining the concept opportunity of an MLM: think about a corporate company: the CEO of that company will ALWAYS have a greater earning potential than a manager or supervisor. the CEO will ALWAYS earn more, period. there's a cap there, and that's that. however, in an MLM - a company that sells products or goods, [heyooo0 Zyia Active!l each and every one of us as a Rep starts on the same playing field. and what's more, i will ALWAYS have the ability to earn more than my Mama Rep [love ya, some sense. be my own boss. contribute to our fam. be a stay at home mama to our gal pal. and so much more forever an MLM'er. before we dismiss what could be a life changing opportunity. ya feel me?! let's do our research #livingtheintegratedlife 17h Edited - it's ultimately gonna be up to me to work it work it work it. the freedom to not only earn a significant income [serious about retiring sweet MWB by the time he's 35, but also join other boss babes doing big things according to their dreams goals, too?! heck yes. AND getting to stay home with our babe, run errands, fly to MN for 2 weeks straight AND STILL be 1 like 18h Reply + +) Add a commen... Post Very defensive hun

Very defensive hun

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