🔥 Popular | Latest

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

Save
Save
A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona Dating Apps Premium 2019 WRAPPED You have spent some serious time being single. Here is how much time you have spent on dating apps over the last 5 years. Let's hope you are single due to your personality, because the alternative is you are ugly. Top Dates Sarah S. Top Lies You Told Girls Your cat is cute 69,617 mins I love The Office I'm only talking to you I rarely drink You aren't like the other girls Laura T. Samantha R. Melissa R. 103,648 mins Stephanie M. 53,011 107,107 Top Hair Color Minutes on Dates mins 118,659 mins mins 3,600 Brunette 2017 2019 2018 2016 2015 niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona In perfect harmony You were pretty desperate. USC CLASS OF 2022 You discovered 304 new girls this year. But you really didn't vibe with anyone. 3,401 0% anted You didn't swipe right on one specific type of girl. Below is what you look for most in a match. Ethically FRESHME admission APPLICATIO You created 38 new profile pictures, watched 4 girls report you for being inappropriate, and spent 65 hours debating if you should give up on dating and get a dog. Jake, 29 O less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Has a pulse and will give you attention. Cute Face Jake, 29 O less than a mile away Little Waist As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell), I can relate to the current bachelor. Big Behind Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Good Personality Jake 28 O less than a mile away Ladies, if I can do this to Leo, imagine what I can do to you. : A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”

A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”

Save
superunfriendlyreminder: That actually explains why we come after animals on the list of “ deaths that actually matter to white ppl” : School LibraryJournal @sljournal SLJ An Updated Look at Diversity in Children's Books ow.ly/nerj50uIXed DIVERSITY IN 8 CHILDREN'S BOOKS Percentage of books depicting characters from diverse backgrounds based on the 2018 publishing statistics compiled by the Cooperative Children's Book Center, School of Education, University of Wisconsin-Madison: ccbc.education.wisc.edu/books/pcstats.asp 50% 7% 1% 5% 10% 27% +a 558 0OKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOK American Asian Pacific Islander/Asian Pacific American Latinx African/ White Animals/Other Indians/ African The CCBC Inventory includes 3,134 books published in 2018. This grophic would not hove been possible without the statistics compiled by the CCBC, ond the review and feedbock we received from Edith Compbel, Molly Beth Griffin, K. T. Horning, Debble Reese, Ebony Ellzabeth Thomas, and Modeline Tyner, Many thanks First Nations American ustration by David Huyck, in consultation with Sarah Park Dohlen Released under a Creative Commons 8Y-SA licenses https//creativecommons.org/Bicenses/by-so/4.0/ 7:30 AM Jun 20, 2019 Hootsuite Inc. 1.3K Likes 821 Retweets It is gia, hello @missgiagiagia Animals had more representation than all Black, brown and indigenous people combined. Our children deserve better. Deserve MORE SLJ SchoolLibraryJournal @sljournal 19h An Updated Look at Diversity in Children's Books ow.ly/nerj50uIXed DIVERSITY IN CHILDREN'S BOOKSZU18 Percentage of books depicting characters from diverse backgrounds based on the 2018 publishing statistics compiled by the Cooperative Children's Book Center, School of Education, University of Wisconsin-Madison: ccbc.education.wisc.edu/books/pestats.asp 5% 7% 10% 27% 50% L558 BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS African White American Latinx Asian Pacific Animals/Other Indians/ Islander/Asian African 2:14 PM Jun 20, 2019 Twitt er for iPad 4.4K Likes 2.3K Retweets superunfriendlyreminder: That actually explains why we come after animals on the list of “ deaths that actually matter to white ppl”

superunfriendlyreminder: That actually explains why we come after animals on the list of “ deaths that actually matter to white ppl”

Save
fandom: 2019’s Top Books Wizards. Demigods. Warring cat tribes. Fairies. Assassins. Fairy assassins. This list has ‘em all.  The Harry Potter seriesby J.K. Rowling The Warriors series +1by Erin Hunter Percy Jackson & the Olympians −1by Rick Riordan A Song of Ice and Fireby George R. R. Martin Carry On +7by Rainbow Rowell The All for the Game series +3by Nora Sakavic The Six of Crows Duology −3by Leigh Bardugo Pride and Prejudice −1by Jane Austen The Raven Cycle series −4by Maggie Stiefvater The Captive Prince Trilogyby C. S. Pacat The Wicked King, Book 2 of The Folk of the Air Trilogyby Holly Black A Court of Thorns and Roses series −6by Sarah J. Maas The Cruel Prince, Book 1 of The Folk of the Air Trilogy +4by Holly Black The Silmarillion +5by J. R. R. Tolkien The Throne of Glass series −7by Sarah J. Maas Discworldby Terry Pratchett The Secret Historyby Donna Tartt The Mortal Instruments seriesby Cassandra Clare The Outsiders −6by S. E. Hinton The Twilight Sagaby Stephanie Meyer The Dark Artifices Trilogy −1by Cassandra Clare Red, White & Royal Blueby Casey McQuiston The Great Gatsby −2by F. Scott Fitzgerald The Trials of Apollo series −2by Rick Riordan The Wings of Fire series −2by Tui T. Sutherland Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series −11by Rick Riordan Romeo and Julietby William Shakespeare The Song of Achillesby Madeline Miller Milk and Honey −15by Rupi Kaur Good Omens −19by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett The number in italics indicates how many spots a title moved up or down from the previous year. Bolded titles weren’t on the list last year.: tumblr Year in Review Books 2019 2019 fandom: 2019’s Top Books Wizards. Demigods. Warring cat tribes. Fairies. Assassins. Fairy assassins. This list has ‘em all.  The Harry Potter seriesby J.K. Rowling The Warriors series +1by Erin Hunter Percy Jackson & the Olympians −1by Rick Riordan A Song of Ice and Fireby George R. R. Martin Carry On +7by Rainbow Rowell The All for the Game series +3by Nora Sakavic The Six of Crows Duology −3by Leigh Bardugo Pride and Prejudice −1by Jane Austen The Raven Cycle series −4by Maggie Stiefvater The Captive Prince Trilogyby C. S. Pacat The Wicked King, Book 2 of The Folk of the Air Trilogyby Holly Black A Court of Thorns and Roses series −6by Sarah J. Maas The Cruel Prince, Book 1 of The Folk of the Air Trilogy +4by Holly Black The Silmarillion +5by J. R. R. Tolkien The Throne of Glass series −7by Sarah J. Maas Discworldby Terry Pratchett The Secret Historyby Donna Tartt The Mortal Instruments seriesby Cassandra Clare The Outsiders −6by S. E. Hinton The Twilight Sagaby Stephanie Meyer The Dark Artifices Trilogy −1by Cassandra Clare Red, White & Royal Blueby Casey McQuiston The Great Gatsby −2by F. Scott Fitzgerald The Trials of Apollo series −2by Rick Riordan The Wings of Fire series −2by Tui T. Sutherland Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series −11by Rick Riordan Romeo and Julietby William Shakespeare The Song of Achillesby Madeline Miller Milk and Honey −15by Rupi Kaur Good Omens −19by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett The number in italics indicates how many spots a title moved up or down from the previous year. Bolded titles weren’t on the list last year.
Save
fandom: 2019’s Top Actresses Our favorite part about this list is how gay it is. Brie Larson Zendaya Katie McGrath −1 Emilia Clarke +12 Scarlett Johansson +3 Sophie Turner Tessa Thompson −2 Jodie Comer Lili Reinhart −5 Sandra Oh Kristen Stewart +10 Macarena Achega  Maisie Williams Gwendoline Christie Gillian Anderson Margot Robbie +1 Emma Watson −6 Melissa Benoist +6 Millie Bobby Brown Daisy Ridley −13 Gal Gadot −18 Elizabeth Olsen Barbara Lopez Amber Heard Eliza Taylor Jameela Jamil Lucy Boynton Maya Hawke Lupita Nyong'o −23 Jodie Whittaker −4 Alycia Debnam-Carey −11 Marilyn Monroe Ellen Page Megan Fox Jennifer Lawrence −22 Natalie Portman Anna Kendrick −19 Winona Ryder Alexandra Daddario −16 Angelina Jolie  Cate Blanchett −29 Rachel Weisz  Danai Gurira −33 Emma Stone  Hunter Schafer Cara Delevingne Naomi Scott Sarah Paulson −19 Anne Hathaway −24 Stephanie Beatriz −20The number in italics indicates how many spots a name moved up or down from the previous year. Names in bold weren’t on the list last year.: tumblr Year in Review Actresses 2019 2019 fandom: 2019’s Top Actresses Our favorite part about this list is how gay it is. Brie Larson Zendaya Katie McGrath −1 Emilia Clarke +12 Scarlett Johansson +3 Sophie Turner Tessa Thompson −2 Jodie Comer Lili Reinhart −5 Sandra Oh Kristen Stewart +10 Macarena Achega  Maisie Williams Gwendoline Christie Gillian Anderson Margot Robbie +1 Emma Watson −6 Melissa Benoist +6 Millie Bobby Brown Daisy Ridley −13 Gal Gadot −18 Elizabeth Olsen Barbara Lopez Amber Heard Eliza Taylor Jameela Jamil Lucy Boynton Maya Hawke Lupita Nyong'o −23 Jodie Whittaker −4 Alycia Debnam-Carey −11 Marilyn Monroe Ellen Page Megan Fox Jennifer Lawrence −22 Natalie Portman Anna Kendrick −19 Winona Ryder Alexandra Daddario −16 Angelina Jolie  Cate Blanchett −29 Rachel Weisz  Danai Gurira −33 Emma Stone  Hunter Schafer Cara Delevingne Naomi Scott Sarah Paulson −19 Anne Hathaway −24 Stephanie Beatriz −20The number in italics indicates how many spots a name moved up or down from the previous year. Names in bold weren’t on the list last year.
Save
superunfriendlyreminder: That actually explains why we come after animals on the list of “ deaths that actually matter to white ppl” : School LibraryJournal @sljournal SLJ An Updated Look at Diversity in Children's Books ow.ly/nerj50uIXed DIVERSITY IN 8 CHILDREN'S BOOKS Percentage of books depicting characters from diverse backgrounds based on the 2018 publishing statistics compiled by the Cooperative Children's Book Center, School of Education, University of Wisconsin-Madison: ccbc.education.wisc.edu/books/pcstats.asp 50% 7% 1% 5% 10% 27% +a 558 0OKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOK American Asian Pacific Islander/Asian Pacific American Latinx African/ White Animals/Other Indians/ African The CCBC Inventory includes 3,134 books published in 2018. This grophic would not hove been possible without the statistics compiled by the CCBC, ond the review and feedbock we received from Edith Compbel, Molly Beth Griffin, K. T. Horning, Debble Reese, Ebony Ellzabeth Thomas, and Modeline Tyner, Many thanks First Nations American ustration by David Huyck, in consultation with Sarah Park Dohlen Released under a Creative Commons 8Y-SA licenses https//creativecommons.org/Bicenses/by-so/4.0/ 7:30 AM Jun 20, 2019 Hootsuite Inc. 1.3K Likes 821 Retweets It is gia, hello @missgiagiagia Animals had more representation than all Black, brown and indigenous people combined. Our children deserve better. Deserve MORE SLJ SchoolLibraryJournal @sljournal 19h An Updated Look at Diversity in Children's Books ow.ly/nerj50uIXed DIVERSITY IN CHILDREN'S BOOKSZU18 Percentage of books depicting characters from diverse backgrounds based on the 2018 publishing statistics compiled by the Cooperative Children's Book Center, School of Education, University of Wisconsin-Madison: ccbc.education.wisc.edu/books/pestats.asp 5% 7% 10% 27% 50% L558 BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS African White American Latinx Asian Pacific Animals/Other Indians/ Islander/Asian African 2:14 PM Jun 20, 2019 Twitt er for iPad 4.4K Likes 2.3K Retweets superunfriendlyreminder: That actually explains why we come after animals on the list of “ deaths that actually matter to white ppl”

superunfriendlyreminder: That actually explains why we come after animals on the list of “ deaths that actually matter to white ppl”

Save