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Thanks Satan
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your soul
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Bless Up, Booty, and Christmas: Picked up this little girl today. I never knew something so cute could have such horrendous farts @DrSmashlove Reddit u/thecasquatch Shout to u ladies bruv I see u. Pink nikes. Black yoga pants with the strategically placed sheer cutouts. Oversized coat. Dripping wet hair. Scurrying back to the office at 12:58 pm. Stinkin. Just sweatily stinking up a storm baby girl u are appreciated 🤤. See me in the lobby I’m holding the elevator door looking at u and u like “OMG smash I stink LOL!! I’ll take the next one!” No the eff u won’t 🤗😂. This is Christmas in Ferrurary. 🎅🏼 Christmas in March. 🎄 U feel me? “Don’t be silly lol! All aboard 😁.” I inhale inaudibly thru my nose and let out a small, very small like dis big 👌 pip squeak cough ... “damn! Sinuses lol...CAN A BROTHER GET SOME CLARITIN IN HERE 😤” (c) Key and Peele 😂. Ain no damn sinuses bruv. I just had to get that one wondrous serene low key whiff of pure mid Day booty sweat 🍑💦 . U could had taken a few minutes to shower. But u didn’t. U didn’t for all of us - witcha nastass 😍😂. Now u perfuming the elevator before returning to ya office to put clothes and heels back on. Again I thank u. Mid day work doldrums can be heavy but an elevator full of yoga pant booty stench, like an Umbria espresso chased by a bubbly water, awakens the senses and enlivens the loins 😍. And before u ladies attack me for being a freak first of all bish YES I AM 😂. Second of all not long ago a ting was taking a vigorous ride on Le Pony like the Ginuwine song when, half a minute prior to busting, she buried her face in my underarm and bounced-clapped Le Chèéks vigorously on mine Peepington and I’m like “wha?” And she said in that deep, satanic I’m-bout-to-buss voice “DONNNNT STOPPPP 🐲👹👺” and she let loose the waterfall harder than I had theretofore experienced and at that moment it dawned on me: Le Stínk is a gift from God (among many) visited upon humankind to bring us back to our animalistic senses. Back to the jungle. U feel me? Amazonian type isht. Embrace Le Stínk. U an me baby ain’t nothing but mammals. So let’s do it how they do on the discovery channel BLESS UP 🤤😍😂

Shout to u ladies bruv I see u. Pink nikes. Black yoga pants with the strategically placed sheer cutouts. Oversized coat. Dripping wet hair....

Bailey Jay, Dude, and Fail: <p><a href="http://oculousreparo.tumblr.com/post/34604754338/fuckmegentlywitha2x4-brock-obama-owls" class="tumblr_blog">oculousreparo</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://fuckmegentlywitha2x4.tumblr.com/post/20421145755/brock-obama-owls-confirmed-to-be-the-creepiest">fuckmegentlywitha2x4</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://brock-obama.tumblr.com/post/7354893663">brock-obama</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>Owls confirmed to be the creepiest birds ever. <em>LOOK AT THE FUCKING THINGS. </em>If you fail to notice the one on the left fucking <em>SWALLOWING</em> a rat, then you have the dude singing some satanic chant or something next to him, and then you have those two other fucking psychos synchronized to make you feel creeped the fuck out with their soulless dance of <em>FUCKING DOOM</em>.</strong></p> </blockquote> <p>I really am tempted to reblog this every time it’s on my dash. That description is one of the best things on the internet.<strong><br/></strong></p> </blockquote> <p><figure data-orig-height="200" data-orig-width="245" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcokcuOdEr1r4cj4r.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fc7afb4d4f895b7ae20130e347298b55/tumblr_inline_p7rnzciUAE1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="200" data-orig-width="245" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcokcuOdEr1r4cj4r.gif"/></figure></p> </blockquote>

<p><a href="http://oculousreparo.tumblr.com/post/34604754338/fuckmegentlywitha2x4-brock-obama-owls" class="tumblr_blog">oculousreparo</a>:</...

Bad, Church, and Life: <p><a href="http://supaslim.tumblr.com/post/156156610522/lexxgotthejuice-localstarboy-trump-is-so-bad" class="tumblr_blog">supaslim</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://lexxgotthejuice.tumblr.com/post/156142451920/localstarboy-trump-is-so-bad-that-satanists-are" class="tumblr_blog">lexxgotthejuice</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://localstarboy.tumblr.com/post/156140776727/trump-is-so-bad-that-satanists-are-protesting-him" class="tumblr_blog">localstarboy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Trump is so bad that SATANISTS are protesting him. Devil worshipers are trying to protect us from this man lmao this real life</p></blockquote> <p>Lmaooo yo this seemed so unreal</p> </blockquote> <p>okay okay but listen</p><p>satanists WOULD be anti-Trump</p><p>satanists are, for the most part, just secular humanists (mostly atheists) with a flair for the dramatic. They are, on average, very left-leaning.</p><p>The Satanic Temple in particular is a great organization. They don’t believe religious organizations should be tax exempt, so they voluntarily pay taxes. They also sell merch and give a good chunk of the proceeds to things like Planned Parenthood and legal funds that fight for division of church and state.</p><p>Fuck, this is straight from their website: <b> “The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people. In addition, we embrace practical common sense and justice.” </b></p><p>satanism is not bad or evil</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://supaslim.tumblr.com/post/156156610522/lexxgotthejuice-localstarboy-trump-is-so-bad" class="tumblr_blog">supaslim</a>:</p>...

Advice, Animals, and Arthur: ATANISM represents kindness to those who de serve it instead of love wasted on ingrates! You cannot love everyone; it is ridiculous to think you can. If you love everyone and everything you lose your natural powers of selection and wind up being a pretty poor judge of character and quality. If anything is used too freely it loses its true meaning. Therefore, the Satanist believes you should love strongly and com pletely chose who deserve your love, but never turn the other cheek to your enemy! Love is one of the moet nt <p><a href="http://deathmagicandnature.tumblr.com/post/167702384958/ifreakinglovemarshmallows" class="tumblr_blog">deathmagicandnature</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://ifreakinglovemarshmallows.tumblr.com/post/165573658093/the-vampire-inside-me-ficcyshit" class="tumblr_blog">ifreakinglovemarshmallows</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://the-vampire-inside-me.tumblr.com/post/164761422189/ficcyshit-imaginetheavengers" class="tumblr_blog">the-vampire-inside-me</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://ficcyshit.tumblr.com/post/163212711316/imaginetheavengers-1w1wbigher06fan" class="tumblr_blog">ficcyshit</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://imaginetheavengers.tumblr.com/post/109582872609">imaginetheavengers</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://1w1wbigher06fan.tumblr.com/post/109211281827">1w1wbigher06fan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://mistresserycinae.tumblr.com/post/101519102954">mistresserycinae</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ciceroll.tumblr.com/post/101515708153">ciceroll</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://paradiseofthemindd.tumblr.com/post/101307733074">paradiseofthemindd</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://lekswinterisdyslexic.tumblr.com/post/48733399446">lekswinterisdyslexic</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://danplasmius.tumblr.com/post/39071312622">danplasmius</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gender-ikari.tumblr.com/post/39053629365">gender-ikari</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://harpyholidays.tumblr.com/post/39053452574">harpyholidays</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bookerdewitt.tumblr.com/post/38938589872">bookerdewitt</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://antique-arthur.tumblr.com/post/38571585496">antique-arthur</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://the-fact-rat.tumblr.com/post/38564399586">the-fact-rat</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>The more I learn about Satanism, the less horrendous it seems. Not even kidding.</p> </blockquote> <p>That’s cause non-theistic Satanism is more about worshipping yourself and sorta treating others how you want to be treated etc</p> </blockquote> <p>hail satan</p> </blockquote> <p>satanism is actually really solid like the Fifth Satanic Rule of the Earth says not to make sexual advances unless you are given consent </p> </blockquote> <p>satan seems like a pretty nice guy</p> </blockquote> <p>This week on “I didn’t know I was a Satanist”</p> </blockquote> <p>Wait till you hear the Nine Satanic Sins</p> <p>1. Stupidity</p> <p>2. Pretentiousness</p> <p>3. Solipsism</p> <p>4. Self-deceit</p> <p>5. Herd conformity</p> <p>6. Lack of perspective</p> <p>7. Forgetfulness of past orthodoxies</p> <p>8. Counterproductive pride</p> <p>9. Lack of aesthetics</p> <p>That’s right. If you ain’t got no style, you be sinning.</p> </blockquote> <p>*converts to Satanism*</p> </blockquote> <p>it mentioned a rule above, but i havent seen the rest of the satanic rules posted here, so…</p> <p>1: Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked</p> <p>2: Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them</p> <p>3: When in another’s home, show them respect or else do not go there</p> <p>4: If a guest in your home annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy</p> <p>5: Do not make sexual advantages unless you are given the mating signal</p> <p>6: Do not take which does not belong to you, unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved</p> <p>7: Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it to successfully obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will loose all you have obtained.</p> <p>8: Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.</p> <p>9: Do not harm young children.</p> <p>10: Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.</p> <p>11: When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.</p> </blockquote> <p>Today in ‘Shit, lets be Satan.’</p> </blockquote> <div> I’m a catholic christian but this made more sense than some of the stuff in the bible does! </div> </blockquote> <p>I don’t usually post things like this on my blog but I thought it’d be important for people to know that:</p> <p>Satanists <i><b>DO NOT worship Satan</b></i>. “Satan” is the latin root for “the one whom opposes”. The name was purposlly chosen to piss off Christians. <b>Satanists are opposed to everything religious</b>, which means that they do not believe in God, therefore, <i>they do not believe in Satan either</i>. The misconceptions of Satanism come from the movies where you see people sacrificing goats and all that stuff, but it is not true. I have read the Satanic Bible. I can assure you that they do not believe in anything religious.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Throwing this back up here because I’m thinking about leading with it at the family reunion.</p> </blockquote> <p>wow it’s kinda like perking your head outside a window they always told you would be dangerous, and instead… you find only another view, interesting<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I’ve known about this for a while and I’m so glad someone finally mentioned it hahaha</p> </blockquote> <ul><li>Reblogging to add that this is one small segment (who are actually atheists/humanists but who am I to judge what someone calls themselves) of an extremely diverse group, the majority of which (in my experience) do worship Satan in one form or another. Please don’t lump us all together or throw theistics under the bus to make yourselves seem more acceptable.</li></ul></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://deathmagicandnature.tumblr.com/post/167702384958/ifreakinglovemarshmallows" class="tumblr_blog">deathmagicandnature</a>:<...

America, God, and Jar Jar Binks: PURTHWHILE WORSHI con Alert Ded Ju 1999 Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves As 10 Masturbation Toy n SS O For America's CHURON STORE ONGOİNG ACTION ALERT ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 1999 <p><a href="https://too-easy-being-green.tumblr.com/post/166756616792/startrekrenegades-warpedchyld" class="tumblr_blog">too-easy-being-green</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://startrekrenegades.tumblr.com/post/139410904565/warpedchyld-captainamerica-in-middle-earth" class="tumblr_blog">startrekrenegades</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://warpedchyld.tumblr.com/post/138870950794">warpedchyld</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://captainamerica-in-middle-earth.tumblr.com/post/137908318917">captainamerica-in-middle-earth</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://obiewans.tumblr.com/post/137905094146">obiewans</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>my stomach hurts</p></blockquote> <p>Ive passed this video so many times and this time I finally watched it. Im really glad I did</p> </blockquote> <p>I have stared into the abyss and it gave me a thumbs up</p> </blockquote> <p>[<b>Person behind camera:</b> <i>(sobbing incoherently with laughter)</i> it’s so…. ffffunnny…. ohheheheheh…. <i>(sniffing, snorting, laughing)</i> of all the shit you can find…. So this, this dates back to 19– <i>(sniff)</i> 1999, as you can see up there. <i>(sniffs, laughs) </i>“The Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves as Masturbation Toy for America’s Youth” This is, like, a Baptist website – <i>(cracks up, giggles, snorts)</i> ssfsfsfsfsfssss–stupidest thing… ever seen. So! <i>(sniffs, calms down a little)</i> So, w-what kind of doll was this child … masturbating to? <i>(person scrolls down to picture of Jar Jar Binks, BURSTS INTO UNCONTROLLABLE WHEEZING LAUGHTER, SNORTS, WEEPS WITH LAUGHTER)</i> Aah……oh my god…. aAHAHAHAHAHa….. HAHAHAHAHA….ohmygod…..]</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mO6NZTU6w2EzbRymLasUlwA">@shitposter-nugget</a></p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://too-easy-being-green.tumblr.com/post/166756616792/startrekrenegades-warpedchyld" class="tumblr_blog">too-easy-being-gree...