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Tumblr, American, and Blog: redlipstickresurrected: Kristin Shiraef aka Kristin Baugh Shiraef aka KrztnS aka KrztnsArts (American, b. 1987, TN, USA, based Seattle, WA, USA) - Feral, 2016  Drawings: Ink

redlipstickresurrected: Kristin Shiraef aka Kristin Baugh Shiraef aka KrztnS aka KrztnsArts (American, b. 1987, TN, USA, based Seattle, WA,...

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Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full exte...

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Lost, Seattle, and Snow: I lost my keys at the beginning of the big Seattle snowstorm 2 weeks ago. The snow and ice is finally melting.

I lost my keys at the beginning of the big Seattle snowstorm 2 weeks ago. The snow and ice is finally melting.

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Chicago, Dad, and Friends: Eileen Webb @webmeadow Here's a true story about my dad. whenl was little, we were on a beach in Oregon and he found a message in a bottle. The note contained an address, with a plea in a young boy's handwriting to senda postcard and let him know how far the bottle had traveled 6:11 PM- Jan 9, 2019 Twitter Web Client 3.8K Retweets 2.8KLikes Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Replying to @webmeadow It had very clearly been thrown in the ocean from the nearby crab docks. It probably traveled a whopping 1/2 mile before washing up in the sand. He decided to wait until we got back to California to send the postcard, so it would seem like the bottle floated all the way south. 3 t 39 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h The postcard ended by saying "I threw the bottle back in the ocean for someone else to find!" Then he shared the address with his brother, who sent a similar postcard from Seattle a few weeks later. His postcard ended the same way L 26 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h They did this for DECADES, sending postcards to this kid from all the places they traveled, always saying they were throwing the bottle back in the water. Mexico, Alaska, Boston, Florida, London! "I found it in the Thames!" 2 th 36 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Sometimes he'd recruit friends, so that the handwriting didn't always match. He sent that kid postcards from Chicago, from Paris, from landlocked towns in Wisconsin and Oklahoma. He kept the address in his wallet, though it didn't really matter because he'd memorized it long ago 2 th 26 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Somewhere out there a grown man from Tacoma has hundreds of postcards in my dad's scratchy handwriting. If there was a way he could do a good deed *while also being slightly mischievous*, he was all in. That's the kind of guy he was 112 O 6.3K positive-memes:I threw it back into the ocean

positive-memes:I threw it back into the ocean

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Chicago, Dad, and Friends: Eileen Webb @webmeadow Here's a true story about my dad. whenl was little, we were on a beach in Oregon and he found a message in a bottle. The note contained an address, with a plea in a young boy's handwriting to senda postcard and let him know how far the bottle had traveled 6:11 PM- Jan 9, 2019 Twitter Web Client 3.8K Retweets 2.8KLikes Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Replying to @webmeadow It had very clearly been thrown in the ocean from the nearby crab docks. It probably traveled a whopping 1/2 mile before washing up in the sand. He decided to wait until we got back to California to send the postcard, so it would seem like the bottle floated all the way south. 3 t 39 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h The postcard ended by saying "I threw the bottle back in the ocean for someone else to find!" Then he shared the address with his brother, who sent a similar postcard from Seattle a few weeks later. His postcard ended the same way L 26 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h They did this for DECADES, sending postcards to this kid from all the places they traveled, always saying they were throwing the bottle back in the water. Mexico, Alaska, Boston, Florida, London! "I found it in the Thames!" 2 th 36 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Sometimes he'd recruit friends, so that the handwriting didn't always match. He sent that kid postcards from Chicago, from Paris, from landlocked towns in Wisconsin and Oklahoma. He kept the address in his wallet, though it didn't really matter because he'd memorized it long ago 2 th 26 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Somewhere out there a grown man from Tacoma has hundreds of postcards in my dad's scratchy handwriting. If there was a way he could do a good deed *while also being slightly mischievous*, he was all in. That's the kind of guy he was 112 O 6.3K positive-memes: I threw it back into the ocean

positive-memes: I threw it back into the ocean

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Chicago, Dad, and Friends: Eileen Webb @webmeadow Here's a true story about my dad. whenl was little, we were on a beach in Oregon and he found a message in a bottle. The note contained an address, with a plea in a young boy's handwriting to senda postcard and let him know how far the bottle had traveled 6:11 PM- Jan 9, 2019 Twitter Web Client 3.8K Retweets 2.8KLikes Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Replying to @webmeadow It had very clearly been thrown in the ocean from the nearby crab docks. It probably traveled a whopping 1/2 mile before washing up in the sand. He decided to wait until we got back to California to send the postcard, so it would seem like the bottle floated all the way south. 3 t 39 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h The postcard ended by saying "I threw the bottle back in the ocean for someone else to find!" Then he shared the address with his brother, who sent a similar postcard from Seattle a few weeks later. His postcard ended the same way L 26 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h They did this for DECADES, sending postcards to this kid from all the places they traveled, always saying they were throwing the bottle back in the water. Mexico, Alaska, Boston, Florida, London! "I found it in the Thames!" 2 th 36 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Sometimes he'd recruit friends, so that the handwriting didn't always match. He sent that kid postcards from Chicago, from Paris, from landlocked towns in Wisconsin and Oklahoma. He kept the address in his wallet, though it didn't really matter because he'd memorized it long ago 2 th 26 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Somewhere out there a grown man from Tacoma has hundreds of postcards in my dad's scratchy handwriting. If there was a way he could do a good deed *while also being slightly mischievous*, he was all in. That's the kind of guy he was 112 O 6.3K I threw it back into the ocean

I threw it back into the ocean

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Chicago, Dad, and Friends: Eileen Webb @webmeadow Here's a true story about my dad. whenl was little, we were on a beach in Oregon and he found a message in a bottle. The note contained an address, with a plea in a young boy's handwriting to senda postcard and let him know how far the bottle had traveled 6:11 PM- Jan 9, 2019 Twitter Web Client 3.8K Retweets 2.8KLikes Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Replying to @webmeadow It had very clearly been thrown in the ocean from the nearby crab docks. It probably traveled a whopping 1/2 mile before washing up in the sand. He decided to wait until we got back to California to send the postcard, so it would seem like the bottle floated all the way south. 3 t 39 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h The postcard ended by saying "I threw the bottle back in the ocean for someone else to find!" Then he shared the address with his brother, who sent a similar postcard from Seattle a few weeks later. His postcard ended the same way L 26 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h They did this for DECADES, sending postcards to this kid from all the places they traveled, always saying they were throwing the bottle back in the water. Mexico, Alaska, Boston, Florida, London! "I found it in the Thames!" 2 th 36 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Sometimes he'd recruit friends, so that the handwriting didn't always match. He sent that kid postcards from Chicago, from Paris, from landlocked towns in Wisconsin and Oklahoma. He kept the address in his wallet, though it didn't really matter because he'd memorized it long ago 2 th 26 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Somewhere out there a grown man from Tacoma has hundreds of postcards in my dad's scratchy handwriting. If there was a way he could do a good deed *while also being slightly mischievous*, he was all in. That's the kind of guy he was 112 O 6.3K I threw it back into the ocean

I threw it back into the ocean

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Chicago, Dad, and Friends: Eileen Webb @webmeadow Here's a true story about my dad. whenl was little, we were on a beach in Oregon and he found a message in a bottle. The note contained an address, with a plea in a young boy's handwriting to senda postcard and let him know how far the bottle had traveled 6:11 PM- Jan 9, 2019 Twitter Web Client 3.8K Retweets 2.8KLikes Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Replying to @webmeadow It had very clearly been thrown in the ocean from the nearby crab docks. It probably traveled a whopping 1/2 mile before washing up in the sand. He decided to wait until we got back to California to send the postcard, so it would seem like the bottle floated all the way south. 3 t 39 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h The postcard ended by saying "I threw the bottle back in the ocean for someone else to find!" Then he shared the address with his brother, who sent a similar postcard from Seattle a few weeks later. His postcard ended the same way L 26 O 1.1K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h They did this for DECADES, sending postcards to this kid from all the places they traveled, always saying they were throwing the bottle back in the water. Mexico, Alaska, Boston, Florida, London! "I found it in the Thames!" 2 th 36 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Sometimes he'd recruit friends, so that the handwriting didn't always match. He sent that kid postcards from Chicago, from Paris, from landlocked towns in Wisconsin and Oklahoma. He kept the address in his wallet, though it didn't really matter because he'd memorized it long ago 2 th 26 1.4K Eileen Webb @webmeadow 20h Somewhere out there a grown man from Tacoma has hundreds of postcards in my dad's scratchy handwriting. If there was a way he could do a good deed *while also being slightly mischievous*, he was all in. That's the kind of guy he was 112 O 6.3K I threw it back into the ocean via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2FnD4Hi

I threw it back into the ocean via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2FnD4Hi

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Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.

theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversa...

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